The Lair of the Mightiest Pickle

Welcome to my lair! If you see anything, that means I really like it or I was drunk(or something more esoteric)

[pacificrim-archive]

[zkac-deactivated20200610]

okay this is one of the greatest plot twists of american cinema 

[shinyfurret]

UM

[musashi]

Hey can you guys reblog Cheeseburger so he can take a sunbeam nap on lots of blogs. No other reason I just want you guys to see him.

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

one of my favorite tidbits about speedrunning that comes up every time the games done quick marathons come around is how Wind Waker speedruns are about five hours long because of the giant wall in Hyrule that actually forces the runner to play the game because they’ve been throwing shit at this wall for over a decade and still can’t figure out a way past it. the wall in hyrule is entirely unglitchable and the only way past it is to play the game properly. the speedrun would be like one hour if they could get past this wall but nope, it’s five hours. fuck the wall.

[squishysnake]

and the comedy of this situation is exponentially amplified the more you know about skips and glitches in speedruns in general

as examples of how broken WW is elsewhere, you can clip through walls and go out of bounds to skip entire dungeon sequences pretty much anywhere with a ledge, use the Wind Waker to enter a state where you ignore physics and swim at 5000 miles an hour, and even fly infinitely into the sky after dying like some kind of helium zombie. do you know how many games could be broken wide open by an infinite height trick? TTYD would shave off 3 or 4 hours.

but this fucking barrier around Hyrule Castle, against all odds, is just completely insurmountable with any of this. Ganondorf is literally the most successful and powerful villain in gaming history and this Super Extendo Fuck You Shield™ is a shining testament to it

[ark-shifter]

This is the kind of information I want on my dash

[cozza-frenzy]

Okay but do you have any idea just how big the Super Extendo Fuck You Shield™ actually is? Try approximately four times the height of the castle itself.

And not only that, but even if you get over the invisible wall, there’s another barrier that causes damage and knockback. So even if you managed to get over the invisible wall part of the Nintendo Containment System™, there’s still an additional, cylinder-shaped barrier that will do damage to you and knock you back out, even if you try to get in from the top or bottom. That castle has more security measures than Fort fucking Knox and it’s all to give a middle finger to speedrunners wanting to finish the game in an hour. It’s fucking wild.

[yggidee]

https://youtu.be/7XBPrFYN1MU

As of July 2019, the barrier has been defeated in all versions of the game, and the current World Record is 1hr 04m50s. The current method is to give yourself seventy invisible grappling hooks, which corrupts so much of the game’s memory that there’s not enough left over to load the barrier (or a lot of other things, like enemies or cutscenes. It’s amazing). You can just walk right trough where it’s supposed to be.

[unyanizedcatboys]

Cant believe the only way to beat The wall™ is to stop it from ever existing in the first place

[xcal1bur25]

The line “seventy invisible grappling hooks” killed me

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[cannabiscomrade]

So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

Horne said two staff members are sorting through the calls, and two investigators are working on credible leads.

[yeah-yeah-beebiss-1]

and for the love of god, don’t just spam it with memes or le funny shrek jokes or whatever, they’ll just hang up

make plausible-sounding reports for things that don’t actually exist, so that they actually have to waste time/resources investigating false leads - the goal is to waste time they would otherwise be using to do their jobs, not to get tumblr clout for being an epic troll

[neko-setsuka]

So apparently the internet article said the superintendent wouldn't be deterred by the prank calls because they would 'taper off eventually'. It'd be a real shame if this post stayed in circulation via queues so they get a consistent list of prank calls to filter through. 😇

[kosmogrl]

[qalbtalk-deactivated20231105]

“…use things to have good days.”

[narcissistcookbook]

the loading screen trying to convince me to use even one of my 3000 consumables

[unpeeled-human]

fuuuuck duude. fuuuuuuck! its like..... fuuuuck dude

[furrysinthematrix]

That moment were you realise your lide is an fps but withouth the s

[unpeeled-human]

mhm,mhm....frames per...,

[mortallycrispygardener]

[shiftingbonesofapoltergeist-dea]

I'm sorry WHAT

[smallerontheoutside]

'lazy people don't feel guilty about not doing anything' is insane to me and I have been trying to make my brain believe it for a long time, it shocked me to my core when I first heard it

[astropithecus]

An important corollary to "if you were faking your mental illness, you could stop whenever you wanted."

[bluebeetle]

i saw some comments on tiktok where people were talking bout how they found tumblr too hard to use and part of it being that there was no lack of dates so “what if you reblog or like something from five years ago?!” 

buddy… we have posts circulating still from 2011, its literally just how it is

[do-what-i-yoinky]

Being on tumblr for years like:

[weaselsblaugh]

this post is 2 years old and it’s only going to get funnier as it gets older

[bogleech]

This is how the entire internet was supposed to be. Before social media we made webpages and a webpage was supposed to be timeless, a permanent “shrine” to something we liked, intended to keep getting visitors and comments for as long as it stayed up. When “blogging” became a concept every blog post was supposed to be the same sort of long term fixture.

The idea that posts have some sort of freshness date comes solely from the poisonous garbage world of the engagement farming business.

[airedelalmena]

Honestly, the problem started with forums and their whole nonsense idea of “deadthreading” and people won’t give it up even now, lol.

Also — you can turn post dates’ visibility on in your settings. I forget the way, but I can see the dates for this post and every reblog under it.

[sottaceti-deactivated20260328]

fuck its Already like 100 am

[roaches-inthecereal]

[uwuinhell]

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

Each Benoit Blanc film takes place in a different season and classic murder mystery setting.

Knives Out: Autumn in a country house

Glass Onion: Summer on a private island

Wake up Dead Man: Spring in a small town

So the next film in the cycle needs to be set in winter on a mode of transportation.

[starrylitte]

The people yearn for Murder on the Orient Express

[hymnism]

making a collection

[putridghost]

Wait I have more

[acemingo]

[markovchaingang]

men and women are not opposites. men and women are not enemies. men and women are two parts of a broad coalition which fights against a mutual enemy: inkjet printers

[loveridden1999]

smokers smoke after everything

[cannabiscomrade]

So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

Horne said two staff members are sorting through the calls, and two investigators are working on credible leads.

[yeah-yeah-beebiss-1]

and for the love of god, don’t just spam it with memes or le funny shrek jokes or whatever, they’ll just hang up

make plausible-sounding reports for things that don’t actually exist, so that they actually have to waste time/resources investigating false leads - the goal is to waste time they would otherwise be using to do their jobs, not to get tumblr clout for being an epic troll

[neko-setsuka]

So apparently the internet article said the superintendent wouldn't be deterred by the prank calls because they would 'taper off eventually'. It'd be a real shame if this post stayed in circulation via queues so they get a consistent list of prank calls to filter through. 😇

[cheaphalloweencostume]

im trying to go to sleep but i cannotttttt stop thinking about this and laughing

[thestarsaredown]

Listen, we have to keep this thing circulating on the internet for at least another two decades, because I have to believe that one day that little girl will be grown enough to stumble upon it and She Will Explain

[holy-muffins]

We’ve made it 5 years folks

[b0nkcreat]

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

[b0nkcreat]

Can you stop bouncing and moaning on it 😐 please for the love of god

[b0nkcreat]

i see now that i shouldn’t have made this post on tumblr. specifically.

[cytherean-sunset]

[lurkiestvoid]

[willcraftapple11]