Herp De Derp

Whatever catches my fancy ends up here.

[phaeton-flier]

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

[phaeton-flier]

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

[theaudientvoid]

[centrally-unplanned]

Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.

And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.

[theabigailthorn]

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

[creativepromptsforwriting]

How to become friends

Here a some ways on how your characters could become/could've become friends.

"School & Childhood" Friends

Sitting next to each other on the first day of class

Being assigned as lab/project partners

Having the same teacher and complaining together

Sharing school supplies

Being the only two people who don’t know anyone

Riding the same school bus

Getting seated alphabetically near each other every year

Being in detention together

Letting the other cheat off of them

One person defending the other from bullying

Meeting at recess or on the playground

Competing on the same academic team

Being roommates in college

Always sitting next to each other in the library

Staying up late talking in the dorms

Helping each other study before exams

Meeting during orientation week

"Family Connections" Friends

Their mothers/fathers being friends

Being cousins close in age

Growing up as neighbors

Family friends who vacation together

Parents arranging playdates

Siblings introducing them

One family helping another during hard times

Their families attending the same religious or community events

Becoming friends because their kids are friends

Meeting at weddings or family reunions

Dating each others' siblings

"Neighborhood & Everyday Life" Friends

Living in the same apartment building

Seeing each other walking dogs every day

Sharing a fence/backyard

Helping shovel snow or carry groceries

Meeting at a local park regularly

Frequenting the same café

Running into each other during morning commutes

One person helping after a car breakdown

Being regulars at the same store

Sharing a laundry room in their apartment building

"Work & Professional Life" Friends

Starting work on the same day

Complaining about the boss together

Working late on the same project

Covering shifts for each other

Sitting beside each other in the office

Traveling together for work

Bonding during training sessions

Accidentally getting trapped in endless meetings together

One mentoring the other

Quitting the same toxic workplace

"Shared Interests" Friends

Joining the same sports team

Playing in the same band

Meeting in an online game

Joining the same fandom

Taking the same art/music/dance classes

Going to the same gym

Meeting through cosplay or conventions

Attending book clubs

Participating in hobby communities

Posting in the same niche online forum

Volunteering for the same cause

Meeting in a run club

Following each other online

"Through Other Friends" Friends

“You two would get along”

Becoming the last two awake at a party

Mutual friends inviting both people repeatedly

Being added to the same group chat

Becoming friends after a breakup divides the friend group

One friend “adopting” the quieter person

Meeting through double dates

Their two friend groups mixing with each other when two people start dating

Becoming roommates through mutuals

"Random Coincidences" Friends

Missing the same train

Being stranded somewhere together

Wearing the same outfit or shirt

Reaching for the same book in a library

Accidentally texting the wrong number

Dancing next to each other at a concert

Sitting together in the airport during a delayed flight

Sitting next to each other on the train/plane

Getting stuck in an elevator with each other

Meeting on holiday together

One person dropping something and the other helping

Surviving an embarrassing moment together

Laughing at the same thing no one else noticed

"Funny & Unexpected Situation" Friends

Mistaken identity leading to conversation

Fighting first and later becoming close

One stealing the other’s seat

A shared hatred of the same person

Both pretending to understand something they don’t

Meeting because of a lost pet

Becoming friends after a minor car accident

One person overhearing the other say something unhinged and agreeing

Meeting through a heated conversation in a comment section

Accidentally attending the wrong event together

Competing against each other and gaining each other's respect

More: Friendship Masterpost (Prompts & Advice)

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[simply-a-dream]

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

[creative-anchorage]

[suriandtaal]

[seekelsey]

[rickgrimesbabyface]

I don’t care how many times I’ve reblogged this 

[liberalsarecool]

Ownership meant a physical copy. Now you own nothing and can't find what you want across multiple streaming platforms.

Bring back headphones that plug in. Bring back expandable memory. Bring back owning media.

[creativepromptsforwriting]

List of Superpowers

An incomplete list of powers that can be used for good and evil.

amalgamation – ability to merge existing creations

attack powers – blasting, shock waves, object projection, fire breath, laser vision, etc.

creation – ability to create out of nothing

dream manipulation – ability to change dreams

echolocation – ability to determine locations through reflected sound waves

elasticity – ability to stretch their body in any way

element control - ability to control the elements

emotions manipulation – ability to manipulate the emotions of others and themselves

empathy – ability to feel and replicate the emotions, moods, and temperaments of others

energy absorption – ability to absorb energy from people and objects and use it

enhanced physical skills – like senses, stamina, strength, accuracy, intelligence, speed, etc.

fear inducement – ability to evoke extreme fear and horror in others

flight – ability to fly

hypnosis – ability to hypnotise and manipulate others

immortality – not being able to die

immutability – not being able to get altered by outside forces

invisibility – impossible to see

invulnerability – being immune to all forms of physical harm

knowledge replication – ability to replicate the knowledge and skills of others

levitation – ability to levitate in the air

magic – conjuring things

mind control – having control over another’s mind

omnilingualism – ability to speak and understand every language

portal creation – ability to create portals for transport

psychokinesis – ability to move energy and matter

reality warping – ability to manipulate reality

regeneration – ability to rapidly heal

replication – ability to replicate people (including themselves) and objects

self-detonation – ability to self-explode

shapeshifting – ability to change their appearance

telekinesis – ability to move objects with their mind

telepathy – ability to communicate through their minds

teleportation – ability to instantaneously travel

temperature resistance – ability to survive extreme temperatures

vocal mind control – ability to control people with their voice

x-ray vision – ability to see x-rays

More: Hero & Villain Masterpost

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[notahorseindisguise]

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

[mysticorset]

Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids

[notahorseindisguise]

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

[hiveswap]

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

[midnight-revolucion]

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

[notahorseindisguise]

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

[marlinspirkhall]

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.

[ryan-sometimes]

I think it's so funny how we bred JOBS into dogs. I have two shih tzus and they were bred to be lap dogs. All they care about is looking cute and cuddling with people. Meanwhile my grandma has a border collie and that dog needs to feel so useful all the time, he acts like he will pass away if he doesn't have a job to do constantly

[halomancer]

On one hand this is extremely fucking funny, but on the other hand, it really boggles my mind how many people punish their dogs for just… doing the thing they were bred to do.

Your husky isn’t “hyperactive”, it’s bred to pull sleds for 8 hours straight and you have it in a 400 sq ft yard.

Your English sheepdog isn’t “pushy”, it’s bred to herd sheep, and you have neither to space nor the herd to allow it.

Your terrier isn’t “nippy”, it’s bred to kill rats and your hamster looks a hell of a lot like one.

Your Catahoula isn’t “mean to animals”, it’s bred to hunt any and all animals smaller than it, and you didn’t acclimate it to your cat.

Your Lhasa Apso isn’t “yappy”, it’s bred to bark at any tiny noise and alert watchmen to intruders

Like Jesus Christ, if you can’t provide an environment where your dog can’t fulfill its literal life purpose, maybe?? Don’t get that dog??? And if you do, maybe know the breed characteristics so you can redirect those traits into more constructive outlets????

[lemonsharks]

Both your most common doodle's parts (labra and golden) want to hunt and retrieve water birds so the best suggestion I can give y'all is congratulations on your new duck hunting hobby.

[safetytank]

#people will overlook the perfect breeds to suit their needs based on just their looks#and get a work dog because it looks cool

[queerb]

tags from @gnarlystarships because YEAH

[maggiedeshiboux]

@gallusrostromegalus

[gallusrostromegalus]

Any time someone sees Herschel and says "AWWW I want a Corgi <3" (because he is Very Cute (TM)), I immediately reply: "Do not get a Corgi unless you have a job for it to do. They were bred to bully livestock across the hills of Wales. This is basically a Border Collie that knows he is cute enough to get away with murder. If you get one and it doesn't have a job, it will apply its livestock-bullying instincts to YOU. Herschel's job specifically is to help manage my crippling ADHD, because I don't have a bull for him to micromanage." This gets me odd looks at the home depot but it does get the point across.

[mothman-etd]

Not sure got to feel when the hobby book says this should only take an hour but it took me 5 hours.

[gallusrostromegalus]

1. Hobby books are often written by the same people who think you can caramelize onions in 5 minutes

2. Hobby books are even more often written by people who don't have or are actively neglecting their partners/full-time jobs/pets/children/household maintenance.

3. Hobby books are often written by people with ADHD, and an hour in ADHD hyperspace is like 2-7 hours for everyone else, including other ADHD people who are not currently in the zone.

4. Hobby books are written by people who, when told by an editor to add in how long it will take, just make shit up

5. If you're doing something for the first time, you're going to take way, way longer to do it than someone who's had years of practice. Maybe it does only take an hour IF YOU'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR TEN YEARS. Think about how long it took you to make idk your first excel spreadsheet vs how long it takes now

To actually answer your question: proud. You should feel proud, because you made something, AND you did so while learning a brand-new skill! Go you!!

May I ask what the Allegedly-One-Hour project was? Both because I like hearing about what my friends are doing and I want to see how wildly inaccurate the listed time scope is.

[beardedmrbean]

[aubeezz]

thank you australian government from protecting me, a child (21 year old) from the scary hells of the internet

[despazito]

I don't have time for tumblr discourse they're calling the very hungry caterpillar degenerate art over on twitter

[despazito]

good art is when something looks like real life, the more real it looks the more better the art. abstracted figures give my trad children nightmares, one time they were exposed to cubism and couldn't go outside for a week

[draculasstrawhat]

Huh fascinating, I wonder what the fash have against Eric Carle? I wonder what he might have said about his life, and influences, and early experiences that makes them say he’s part of an ‘insalubrious culture’?

Carle's 'Blue Horse' teaches kids to think outside the box

Franz Marc (1880-1916) was a German painter and printmaker, one of the key figures of the German Expressionist movement.

[catchymemes]

[anitoonzforever]

When a tiny little frog wants to cheer you up, things will be okay after all 🐸💚💖❤️‍🩹

[just-let-me-drink]

[childmagazine]

someone from 1997 wished me good luck. it’s like someone from so many years back knows your struggles and i just, i think i’m gonna cry

[that-space-boy]

reblogging for luck from friend in 1997

[crowboy-bebop]

unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!

(warning: loud chirping throughout)

source: hellgate osprey cam

[curlicuecal]

[fawnpalmer]

quarterly reminder that if i reblog something ai-generated it is 110% and always an accident and for the love of god please tell me so i can delete it from my blog

[twistcmyk]