Kay

I am detrans, disabled, a mom, a sexual trauma and abuse survivor, and most importantly a woman who cares about ending the oppression of other women

[pillarsalt]

[girlfishes]

I am a “trans exclusive radical feminist” in the same way I am a “Christian exclusive radical feminist” or a “Muslim exclusive radical feminist”.

You have the right to identify yourself as you please. I am within my rights to believe that how you define yourself is false. No, I do not believe that you are a child of god, because god doesn’t exist. I do not believe that your gender identity makes you a woman, because there is no gender identity inherent to womanhood.

Your immaterial beliefs about yourself have no bearing on how I should perceive you. Your immaterial beliefs about yourself have no bearing on how I should define my own experiences. And your immaterial beliefs about yourself do not override the material reality you share with everyone else.

This doesn’t mean I hate you. On the contrary, it means I respect you enough to take your claims and their consequences seriously instead of humoring you like a little child.

[poison-but-tasty-deactivated202]

Dear misandrists,

In case you haven't heard it today, you're all hostile, aggressive, psychotic and a threat to men everywhere.

[whjwiwowpwlsskwjwbwbkwkwlwnw]

reblog if youre hostile, aggressive, psychotic and a threat to men everywhere

[luncheon-aspic]

Daily affirmation

[whjwiwowpwlsskwjwbwbkwkwlwnw]

[atwoodsfemalefantasy]

thanks, i really needed this today! had a rough day, but this made it better :)

[298320482349204821999]

so much kink shit is just men trying to justify their desire to hurt women and pretend like they can go into a room, hurt someone, get off to hurting someone, and then walk out as if that doesn’t mean anything about who they are as a person

[enchantingcheesecakepersona]

Why is the bedroom seen as an alternative reality that won’t actually affect someone’s physical and mental health taking damage ? It’s not a game where your partner will respawn if you strangle her to death

[feminism-art-love-deactivated20]

It’s mad the way porn gets a 100% free pass on the most objectionable, offensive, violent and dangerous shit that would get called out by EXACTLY THE SAME PEOPLE if it was happening in any other context.

What is it, because it gives someone a boner all the rules don’t apply anymore?

[enchantingcheesecakepersona]

Plus they’ll defend it that she either liked it (she actually was conditioned/groomed by their stupid “training”) or she’s being paid for it (they believe you can buy consent to damage a person for as long as they want because they’re buying the time and “right” to rape her)

Degenerates think it’s immunity for them to avoid any repercussion of consequences and it’s so messed up and evil you decide to purposefully choose to hurt someone for your own selfish needs

[philipkindreddickhead]

Reading the new Gaiman article and all the stuff about doing kink in front of his kid reminded me of the other Nickelodeon article. How male creators kept putting their kinks into the shows. Like kink people really do make a concentrated effort to indoctrinate kids into kink.

[overtlydinosaurian]

I've had non-kink-critical friends talk to me about this. How they can look back and realize that a lot of their kinks came from children's TV shows. ESPECIALLY female friends wanting to be tied up.

[pure]

and this is the crux of the problem with the sex positive movement and their attempts to defend the reputation of kink culture when abusers who use that language are exposed. any sex act, including those filed under bdsm, cannot ever be critiqued if consent is thought to be involved. their logic goes: you consented, you wanted it, so the objectively abusive or questionable sex act magically isn’t abusive nor questionable anymore, because you consented to your partner’s actions. the belief that consent precludes all sex acts from the potential of being objectively abusive is an expression of rape culture. framing sexual violence as an individual freedom of expression is how liberals and leftists have entrenched the acceptance of male supremacy, sexual abuse and rape culture among “progressive” communities.

it is why patriarchy and rape culture cannot be blamed squarely on conservatives. it is a mistake to think of patriarchy this way and i no longer do it—i no longer say people aren’t “real leftists” if they engage in male supremacy. everyone is conditioned to promote or accept male supremacy, and your so-called allies in the struggle against tyranny still want women to remain in chains in their version of a liberated utopia. liberals and leftists attempt to incorrectly cast the right wing as uniquely “anti-sex” to distance themselves from their own participation in culturally sanctioning sexual abuse. i’ve said it multiple times and i’ll keep saying it—they misuse the word “puritan” as a curse word despite the fact that the christian puritan movement was not anti-sex at all. it’s about dismissing any critique of sex as regressive, because people who are “pro-sex” are beyond reproach.

both fascists and leftists promote or excuse the sexual subordination of women and believe sexual violence is permissible in certain contexts. leftists have simply wrapped it up in a sympathetic language that may cause you to let your guard down. patriarchy is a form of privation that has existed for thousands of years—leftists are not above condoning it.

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

I need to find that post I made a while back about unreliable and dishonest women being abused because it's relevant here. Gaiman doesn't just target vulnerability for control; it's also practical. Even though very few women lie about rape, if a woman is known for lying generally or for having memory problems, or hallucinating false scenarios and a man rapes her, who's going to believe her? Look what Gaiman tried to say about the first two victims who came forward, that the one regretted it and the other remembered wrong.

This is also why I urge you to listen carefully when a man disputes a rape allegation. Don't focus on the details he disputes--trauma victims commonly mess up details and people who are prone to lying generally will probably make some up. But what is he saying did happen? He's trying to put holes in her story, but what is his really? Early on Neil Gaiman confessed to having sex with two women who were both employee and tenant to him. That was rape to begin with. He had a number of women sign NDAs after sexual encounters with him. Why? Why would a consensual encounter need that? And he's not the only one. Lots of rapists do this. Don't fall for it.

[tomatosplat]

actually disgusting that a victim should have to recount her sexual assault to the public in horrific sickening excruciating detail to finally be believed. we knew months ago that neil gaiman was a rapist but it really took knowing *exactly* the ways that he raped and dehumanized her for you people to decide that it was *really* rape?? fucking ghoulish.

[the-moon-loves-the-sea]

Shared here today by Matthew Boroson on Facebook.

Tanith Lee was the first woman to win the British Fantasy Award for best novel, for the second book of the Flat Earth series. She died in 2015. You can buy Tales From the Flat Earth here in paperback or here on Kindle.

[kiefbowl]

I've never heard a rape accusation and first thought was like "what does this mean for the tv I watch."

[fillejondrette]

Afghanistan: Women suspended from midwife and nurse training

Women at training colleges across the country were told they are not allowed to return to class.

the taliban’s primary goal in regards to women seems to be making their quality of life as low as possible. not permitting women to train as midwives - especially in a country with horrible maternal rates, where there are obstacles from women getting healthcare from male providers - is murderous

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

the fact that the news about Neil Gaiman first broke out months ago and it is only now, after the horrific Vulture article are most people finding out about it proves that just speaking out never works out for women; they have to rip themselves out completely apart and relieve the most graphic details for the world to believe them

[dapperprincess]

If you want your activism to help women, you have to come to terms with the fact that the majority of women have been abused. This means that you need to know how to talk to and act around abuse victims. There’s no world where walking up to someone and telling them to leave their abuser right tf now works. None. Never has never will.

But! Being a good example of a non-abusive relationship will give the abused women in your life a new base-line for how their relationships should go. Many women have literally never experienced living without abuse.

Abuse victims can seem like they’re acting irrationally, but truly, if you put your time and effort into understanding unconscious reactions to abuse, you can begin to see, and disrupt, the patterns of abuse.

Why is this abuse victim you’re helping seemingly doing everything in her power to piss you off? She’s trying to burst your bubble to see if you’ll abuse her too. Lay down boundaries that have to do with yourself and not her.

Why is this abuse victim breaking every single ground rule you lay down? She wants to know how much control you have over her, and she’s trying to regain her freedom and will power in little steps. It’s a big step to break rules when you’ve been abused and leaving lights on or not washing after your dishes is a lot easier than breaking one of their abuser’s rules (which usually come with harsh punishments)

The main point is that you can’t advocate for any group of women without understanding abuse and how it shapes the brain and behavioral patterns.

[charlesoberonn]

America has a weird relationship with cults where they’re terrified of small cults (or organizations they think are cults) but completely normalized massive cults that hurt many more people (eg: LDS Church, Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Amish, Scientology, most Megachurches)

[charlesoberonn]

To anybody asking if the Amish are a cult, the answer is yes, very much so.

They’re a high control group that isolate you from society. The cult decides how you dress, how you behave, who you marry and how. They control what you know, blocking all information from the outside world. They control how you feel and what you’re allowed to think with threats of both social and supernatural harm. They’re a cult.

[charlesoberonn]

The best method to determine if a group is a cult, in my opinion, is Steven Hassan’s (cult expert and former cult member himself) BITE model.

BITE stands for Behavior Control, Information Control, Thought Control, and Emotional Control.

The more points a group “scores” on the model, the more of a cult it is.

I think this model is the best one for several reasons:

It’s more nuanced than “cult” or “not cult” and doesn’t make false equivalences between groups

It’s versatile, applying to groups big and small, and cults of all kinds, religious, political, financial, etc.

It focuses on what’s important, which is what the cult does to its members, and those members’ experiences, and not on irrelevant details like how uncommon their doctrines are or whether they have a charismatic leader

[charlesoberonn]

This is a great example of Thought Control used by cults whenever they’re confronted with criticism.

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

#you might notice that there are a lot of similarities between cult techniques and those of abusive partners#and that is an important thing to be aware of

yah that goes in the post

[charlesoberonn]

The creator of the BITE Model considers abusive relationships to be two-person cults.

[forgotn1]

It’s important to note that almost every sect of evangelical christianity in the US today fails the BITE Model.

[alp-crispy]

This was the post that lead to breaking my JW mindset. Been a while since I seen it.

[charlesoberonn]

I’m glad I could help in your deconstruction, if only a little bit. I wish you all the luck in your journey moving forward.

[reneradbler]

I haven't seen any talk about how hard it is to feel confident around girls who wear makeup.

despite the fact that I have been a radical feminist for several years now. despite the fact that I am fully aware of my value and practically do not use adaptive preferences (I've literally never worn makeup in my life, I haven't shaved anywhere for three years, I don't wear uncomfortable but "beautiful" clothes (in general, I don't "dress up") and I cut off my long hair that got in the way long ago, ignoring my father's words about how ugly I would be with a new hairstyle).

but all this turns to nothing when you come face to face with a large number of women fulfilling their part of the gender contract.

no, i don't feel "ugly" at this moment. no, i don't think about how many pimples i have on my face and how well it would be to cover them up. no, i don't pay attention to my light thin eyebrows, my chapped lips and lack of cheekbones. all of this has long been a normal fact for me. this is my face, yes. i feel completely comfortable with it.

but you know what worries me? the feeling that you are the only one shirking your responsibilities. as if you didn't prepare well, as if you snatched extra hours of sleep and thereby broke some kind of "women's law". as if they did all this and they are great, but I didn't even try and I'm "wrong" women.

It's disgusting.

because there are a bunch of men in the room with me who don't even think about such things.

so what? they put on a couple of rags, were half an hour late and came back completely satisfied with themselves, with an absolutely empty head.

they don't care how much of their personal time women spend getting ready. they don't care that this is also work, social work, but it's not paid. even the "ugliest" man of all will never think about the fact that it would be better to him to put on a couple of layers of foundation, emphasize his lips with lipstick, put on some eyeshadow and powder. because he has no sense of responsibility to women. because he hasn't been instilled with guilt for not meeting standards since very childhood. because he doesn't have such an obligation and he won't feel ashamed for supposedly shirking it.

because he is a man. and that says it all.

[radfem-polls]

What is your skin care routine?

In reblogs

In comment

What is your skincare routine?

Answer in reblogs

Answer in replies

Voting ended onJan 10, 2025

-🐌

[marmorada]

Are there no radfems that just. put moisturizer on when they're dry and that's it. Why are so many of yall dumping so much money into this. Have I slipped into fucking Bizarro world that so few of you have decoupled from this portion of the Feminine Beauty Routine? You do not need all this stuff. Women that routinely destroy their skin with makeup need this stuff.

[unsentimentaltranslator]

Annnnd now it becomes clear why so many people on radblr think that saying "no, I will not refer to my unmade-up face and unshaven, undieted body as ugly" is the same thing as chasing male approval. Y'all still think you need to use a million products in order to not hate yourselves when you look in the mirror and as someone who was young once too, I will say from experience that I don't think y'all like yourselves even when you do use these products, so you might as well ditch the products and pursue self love from a source that isn't contingent on your submission. It's all "do it scared" until "it" is giving up makeup and expensive skincare products.

[basedandradpilled]

well when it’s winter i use vanicream on my whole body, during summer i use glycolic acid toner help with the hormonal breakouts. cerave is a good dermatologist tested brand that’s drugstore prices so i recently their products if you have bothersome dryness or discomfort.

idk i think sharing ur skincare that’s actually a long patrick bateman routine only normalizes it and makes other women feel like we’re not doing enough. i fr have severe hormonal acne cyclically and could not imagine doing all those steps to my skin every single day, it’s not remotely physically necessary or psychologically healthy

[misandristdiarist]

Wash my face with antibacterial bar soap every time I shower, same as anywhere else on my body, just it's own dedicated bar

Use lotion on my face/elbows/hands/knees/feet during fall and winter because I live somewhere super dry and my skin flakes and cracks from the dryness

Use sunscreen whenever I'll be in direct sunlight, but I also wear hats, stay in the shade, etc. Since I've had skin cancer scares

Everything else I've eliminated gradually - I used to use a medicated acne cream but it's been years since I've needed it, and anything on top of what I already do feels excessive and creates an unnecessary financial burden

[eileenleahy-deactivated20241003]

i trust my mutuals to overlook it when i say blatantly self contradictory things. they understand that i am a complex and multifaceted icon on their screen