¯\_(ツ)_/¯

gine. writer sometimes. probably napping.

[missgine]

hi guys, i’m gine! welcome! 💕

adult (25+) | she/her | occasional fic writer - ao3: missgine | multifandom + multishipper | icon

[penandinkprincess]

I know in my heart that shane is the type of person who would never bring up essential personal details until they are immediately relevant and then would also be so understated about them

he and ilya are hanging out in the yard and some bees are buzzing around because some watermelon juice spilled on the ground earlier and shane suggests they go inside or rinse the juice off the patio and ilya teases him about being scared of little bees and shane SO nonchalantly just, "no, but i am allergic and you don't know where my epipen is"

and ilya

[penandinkprincess]

reblogging with my own tags because i'm also CACKLING imagining the implications of this not being specific to ilya, either. they're having a barbeque at hayden and jackie's house and hayden is good-naturedly encouraging shane to try a piece of coffee cake or something and ilya just goes, "no, bad for you"

and hayden IMMEDIATELY is on the defensive because what? you get to tell him what to eat now? where do you get o-

"no, bad for him because it has walnuts in it, pike. you want him to die? this is what you want?"

"what are you talking about?"

shane: "i'm allergic"

"??? since WHEN??"

"since always??"

"you've eaten over at my house HOW many times?? and never brought this up? the fuck, dude?"

"jackie knows"

"WHY DOES JACKIE KNOW AND I DON'T"

[penandinkprincess]

yuna and david dialing IN to "if you don't freak out, they won't freak out" during shane's formative years to the unintended and unfortunate side effect of ending up in situations like bb!shane going *calm tug tug on david's shirt* "yeah buddy?" *big inhale that audibly wheezes as his throat starts swelling shut*

[penandinkprincess]

the idea of ilya on instagram accidentally pressing like while DEEP in allergy mommy blogging territory and natalie from That Allergy Mama DMing him to be like "hi, my husband wants me to tell you he says hi and that he's a big fan and also that call against you against san francisco was bullshit." "hello, husband of natalie. also do you have any suggestions for substituting peanuts in this recipe?"

shane at the other end of the couch after thirty minutes of ilya not looking up is just ??? who the FUCK are you texting down there??? and ilya still without looking up just, "many many sexy women who are crying because i am married now. they are very upset." as if his ass isn't diligently taking notes from a married mother of four on a good allergy-friendly pad thai recipe because shane mentioned in passing that it smelled good the last time ilya ordered some and now ilya wants to find out how to make some he can try.

[penandinkprincess]

he gets filmed for a what i eat in a day/day in the life type video and is so used to thinking about substitutes at this point that he doesn't even think about it when he mentions them in passing. they keep an allergy friendly household so the stuff he mentions is compliant, but it's paired with comments like, "and then i add some wowbutter, which is soybeans and not peanuts. we also sometimes have sunflower seed butter, but the texture for this is better with the wowbutter. i have also tried this, what is it called-shane: the gross paste with beans" *shane, offscreen from the living room*: "chickpea butter?" "yes, this." "it's nasty" "yes, not good. their jar says it is, but it is not. anyway-"

and it truly IS casual for him because this is just how he thinks now, but everyone else just ??? allergy friendly homemaker ilya rozanov??? since when??

[penandinkprincess]

A. the idea of ilya being lowkey stressed about shane surprising him and potentially being exposed to allergens is so fucking funny. ilya who ends up also keeping an allergy-friendly household PURELY because it's just less stressful that way. meanwhile the motherfucker WITH the allergies is SO fucking casual about it that it wouldn't even occur to him to ask ilya to do that.

B. when they're pushing the friendship cover, ilya gets nudge nudge jokes about trying to copy what hollander's doing, and he's not going to share information shane didn't greenlight to get out, so he just plays along. and now there's like. at least three other players lowkey accidentally following an allergy diet because they don't know it's an allergy diet. why do hollander and now rozanov not eat tree nuts? unclear, but they're also the best two players in the entire industry so it's worth a shot to copy them.

C. people being so afraid of ilya's wrath if shane has an allergic reaction to something at their house is KILLING ME. shane just fucking. STANDS near a plate of peanut butter cookies on the table in the backyard during a barbeque and four different people are immediately there shoving him away because they will NOT answer to rozanov about this. they will NOT die over cookies. who is the IDIOT who brought PEANUT BUTTER COOKI-

[penandinkprincess]

@lucky-santangelo ilya only getting five seconds of feeling smug and holier than thou before shane puts him on blast is KILLING me XD

@shanetism the idea of ilya finding out how many times he could have potentially killed shane over the years from not knowing this VERY IMPORTANT THING ABOUT HIM and shane's life flashing before HIS eyes is so funny. also the idea that shane was going to show him the fucking WELL at the cottage and just not mention the drawer his epipen is in and ilya being so ??!!! HOLLANDER ?!?! PRIORITIES ?!?!

[penandinkprincess]

shane groaning SO loud when ilya first breaks out the allergy cards because GOD ilya it's NOT that serious this is embarass-

oh? is this more or less embarassing than having allergic reaction in the middle of a restaurant and needing your epipen? hm? shut up and take the fucking shiny cards, hollander.

and riFUCKINGp to the restaurant that lied about not using peanut oil in their fryer as an angry, stressed ilya is stuck in a hospital lobby with wifi and a lot of energy that has nowhere to go until he's allowed to be back with his husband. you're DONE FOR.

also ilya being lowkey SO fucking frustrated at shane having allergies AND refusing to eat fast food, especially when they're on the road so often and ilya eats allergy-free when they're together. hollander, pick a struggle. you know what will not kill you? mcmuffin. she loves you. look at her allergen list. she is safe. this organic artisinal breakfast wrap from this tiny cafe cannot say the same. she does not love you like mcmuffin. she probably whores around with peanuts.

[penandinkprincess]

GOD the psychic damage ilya takes the day he finds out body products can have allergens in them. his body wash company is getting a SCATHING email about fucking around with their formula when there are PEOPLE with ALLERGIES who RELY ON-

and shane meanwhile is just, "i can take some meds and just be itchy for a little bit. it's seriously not a big deal." "you are covered in bumps! it could have been worse. they should have to give warnings if they are going to fuck around with things like this." "you seriously have to calm down. it's not going to stop me from play-" "shane i cannot overstate how much i need you to not talk about hockey to me right now."

[penandinkprincess]

MAN

shane growing up who always got, "oh, you poor thing" from well-intentioned adults as a kid and then, "damn, i could NEVER live like that" from same-age peers when older whenever he had to explain his allergies, and it was both annoying and also felt like failing at something when he had to decline a piece of birthday cake or a slice of pizza because it wasn't safe for him.

but if he frames it as a performance diet, then suddenly! admiration! he gets some teasing obviously, but there's also an air of "good for you, man" that lands a lot easier than pity.

this does, unfortunately, mean that he just develops a habit of just never saying ANYTHING when not directly asked lmao.

[penandinkprincess]

@riddlemaster101

i feel like shane would reliably tell medical people because this is a Rule for medical settings so yes of course he'll go into detail

for everyone else though??? cackling about people who have known him for literally fifteen years finding out about potentially deadly allergies ONLY because ilya is fucking interrogating the waiter at the restaurant. shane of Before just would have probably declined going and used his diet as an excuse because he didn't want to have it be A Whole Thing. now he has a husband to "he said no pickles" his allergies on his behalf, so he's straight chilling. 🤣

[wendydarling95]

Can we also talk about the Yuna and David of it all?

David spots them at the cottage and they go over, Shane's cottage is obviously allergen free and the shopping he did is all safe for him. Yuna and David know to cook safely, the chicken parm is all good and fine but they say "the croutons aren't safe for you, but you don't like those anyway" just in passing as a matter of habit and Ilya who JUST learned about bananas and latex and bees is like "oh wow! More allergies?? I need a list. Haha" and then they have the meal and the panic attack and they become boyfriends. Before they leave Yuna makes him a copy of her list of all the known allergens and Shane's common reactions to them, it's the first time he hugs her. He looks her in the eye and says "thank you for letting me take care of him. I will be careful."

It's a relief, to know he cares to try. But at the end of the day they JUST met this man. So they cross their fingers and try not to feel the same way they did every time Shane went to somebody's house for a birthday party or a sleepover.

And then they are over at the cottage some night and they decide to order in for dinner. Ilya takes everybody's orders and goes to the kitchen to call it in for them and it's taking *forever* so Yuna goes to see if he needs any help. She finds him sitting with two copies of the list, hers and one translated into Russian for his easy reference. He has the phone on speaker and says "thank you for checking the dressing ingredients, I know is weird request, but sometimes Caesar dressing is safe, sometimes not safe, but he likes it so much is worth checking. Yes, I'll hold again."

They've ordered from this place a dozen times, their recipe for Caesar dressing is safe, YUNA knows that, SHANE knows that, that's why he ordered it. But *Ilya* doesn't. So he's checking. Because Shane wants the dressing and Ilya want him *safe* and *happy*. And isn't that all a parent wants? For their kid to be with someone who is just as invested in their happiness and safety as they are? For somebody who will wait on hold while they check the fry oil and the dressing ingredients and whatever else?

Once Ilya has placed the order and hung up he gets surprised by a hug from behind, thin arms wrapped around him and perfume he's starting to recognize. He's bewildered, but when he asks gently "...Mrs. Hollander?" She just tells him to call her Yuna.

[penandinkprincess]

WEEPING

also cackling about the idea of ilya using the group chat with them to be mad about brands changing their ingredients so things that were SAFE are now NOT 😤 it started just as a "hey, those crackers aren't safe anymore" as a collective fyi thing, but it ends up being ilya just mad about safe things not being safe anymore

significantly shane remains SO unbothered about it all

[penandinkprincess]

also EXTREMELY funny to imagine ilya suddenly being strict about allergens in his house with svetlana, who has done body shots off of strangers with this motherfucker who is suddenly?? confiscating her granola bar??? ilya what the actual FUCK is happening right now??? "no peanuts inside anymore" "...what the fuCK ARE YOU TALKI-"

[ghostcaterwaul]

Reblog to gain creative energy and to give more creative energy to the person you reblogged this from.

[nolsdoods]

duo i just made up doodle

lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

[rninor-blog]

“bend over” “bend what? over”

[striderofthen0rth]

I hate this place

[segamascott]

[otteroflore]

alright everyone is being sassy but nobody has brought up the actual reason why scientists are interested in the titanic in the notes

Per wikipedia:

The Titanic was made of steel, presumably to resist corrosion (i mean. thats why boats are made of steel i assume) but even when iron/steel rusts people did not expect to find like. decomposition. bacteria are EATING the titanic.

and there's wood furniture from the titanic that isn't decaying. hell, there are wood ships at the bottom of the ocean that archaeologists study. so the expectation people have for the titanic is not that the steel would decompose at the bottom of the ocean. Even in 100 years, since there are much more ancient preserved wooden ships iirc.

(im not particularly knowledgeable about ships, i just had heard about the science going on around the titanic so i wanted to clarify that on this post for people)

[shoresoftheshadowlands]

[sailor-arashi]

The Titanic is an exceptionally weird whalefall basically.

[claraschaos]

Not a marine biologist but biologist enough to weigh in on this. The reason we have iron eating bacteria but not wood eating bacteria at the bottom of the ocean is simple. Hydrothermal vents release a cocktail of different mineral ores into the ocean. And bacteria and other organisms evolved alongside those so they evolved to digest these, like iron or other metal ores

Wood however does not exist at the bottom of the ocean since it basically never sinks down, even when logs are flushed out into the ocean they basically never end up at the ocean floor. So there's no bacteria that evolved to decompose lignin, which is already complex enough to decompose on the surface. And that's why wooden ships or the furniture on the Titanic stay intact for hundreds of years or longer.

[lobo-cansado-de-ojos-rojos]

Okay, but I remember reading a magazine stating that the titanic would basically be gone by now because of the rust eating the ship.

The sister ship HMHS Britannic is still perfectly preserved because of the way it sank, and partly in due to the coral that has grown around it keeping the structure in tact I believe was the reason.

[theminingdwarf]

Coral acting like a living fossil specifically for sunken ships is the coolest thing I've ever heard

[kyraneko]

So lemme get this straight, the Titanic is a whalefall, the Britannic is a biological mummy, and all the wood ships that sink into the deep ocean are preserved incorrupt because nothing can eat them.

Zombie, mummy, lich, respectively.

[imtheiliad]

Shout out to fanfic writers that don’t get put on rec lists.

Shout out to fanfic writers who write short fanfics.

Shout out to fanfic writers who don’t write often.

Your fics are just as much a labor of love.

[penandinkprincess]

I know in my heart that shane is the type of person who would never bring up essential personal details until they are immediately relevant and then would also be so understated about them

he and ilya are hanging out in the yard and some bees are buzzing around because some watermelon juice spilled on the ground earlier and shane suggests they go inside or rinse the juice off the patio and ilya teases him about being scared of little bees and shane SO nonchalantly just, "no, but i am allergic and you don't know where my epipen is"

and ilya

[penandinkprincess]

reblogging with my own tags because i'm also CACKLING imagining the implications of this not being specific to ilya, either. they're having a barbeque at hayden and jackie's house and hayden is good-naturedly encouraging shane to try a piece of coffee cake or something and ilya just goes, "no, bad for you"

and hayden IMMEDIATELY is on the defensive because what? you get to tell him what to eat now? where do you get o-

"no, bad for him because it has walnuts in it, pike. you want him to die? this is what you want?"

"what are you talking about?"

shane: "i'm allergic"

"??? since WHEN??"

"since always??"

"you've eaten over at my house HOW many times?? and never brought this up? the fuck, dude?"

"jackie knows"

"WHY DOES JACKIE KNOW AND I DON'T"

[penandinkprincess]

yuna and david dialing IN to "if you don't freak out, they won't freak out" during shane's formative years to the unintended and unfortunate side effect of ending up in situations like bb!shane going *calm tug tug on david's shirt* "yeah buddy?" *big inhale that audibly wheezes as his throat starts swelling shut*

[penandinkprincess]

the idea of ilya on instagram accidentally pressing like while DEEP in allergy mommy blogging territory and natalie from That Allergy Mama DMing him to be like "hi, my husband wants me to tell you he says hi and that he's a big fan and also that call against you against san francisco was bullshit." "hello, husband of natalie. also do you have any suggestions for substituting peanuts in this recipe?"

shane at the other end of the couch after thirty minutes of ilya not looking up is just ??? who the FUCK are you texting down there??? and ilya still without looking up just, "many many sexy women who are crying because i am married now. they are very upset." as if his ass isn't diligently taking notes from a married mother of four on a good allergy-friendly pad thai recipe because shane mentioned in passing that it smelled good the last time ilya ordered some and now ilya wants to find out how to make some he can try.

[penandinkprincess]

he gets filmed for a what i eat in a day/day in the life type video and is so used to thinking about substitutes at this point that he doesn't even think about it when he mentions them in passing. they keep an allergy friendly household so the stuff he mentions is compliant, but it's paired with comments like, "and then i add some wowbutter, which is soybeans and not peanuts. we also sometimes have sunflower seed butter, but the texture for this is better with the wowbutter. i have also tried this, what is it called-shane: the gross paste with beans" *shane, offscreen from the living room*: "chickpea butter?" "yes, this." "it's nasty" "yes, not good. their jar says it is, but it is not. anyway-"

and it truly IS casual for him because this is just how he thinks now, but everyone else just ??? allergy friendly homemaker ilya rozanov??? since when??

[penandinkprincess]

A. the idea of ilya being lowkey stressed about shane surprising him and potentially being exposed to allergens is so fucking funny. ilya who ends up also keeping an allergy-friendly household PURELY because it's just less stressful that way. meanwhile the motherfucker WITH the allergies is SO fucking casual about it that it wouldn't even occur to him to ask ilya to do that.

B. when they're pushing the friendship cover, ilya gets nudge nudge jokes about trying to copy what hollander's doing, and he's not going to share information shane didn't greenlight to get out, so he just plays along. and now there's like. at least three other players lowkey accidentally following an allergy diet because they don't know it's an allergy diet. why do hollander and now rozanov not eat tree nuts? unclear, but they're also the best two players in the entire industry so it's worth a shot to copy them.

C. people being so afraid of ilya's wrath if shane has an allergic reaction to something at their house is KILLING ME. shane just fucking. STANDS near a plate of peanut butter cookies on the table in the backyard during a barbeque and four different people are immediately there shoving him away because they will NOT answer to rozanov about this. they will NOT die over cookies. who is the IDIOT who brought PEANUT BUTTER COOKI-

[penandinkprincess]

@lucky-santangelo ilya only getting five seconds of feeling smug and holier than thou before shane puts him on blast is KILLING me XD

@shanetism the idea of ilya finding out how many times he could have potentially killed shane over the years from not knowing this VERY IMPORTANT THING ABOUT HIM and shane's life flashing before HIS eyes is so funny. also the idea that shane was going to show him the fucking WELL at the cottage and just not mention the drawer his epipen is in and ilya being so ??!!! HOLLANDER ?!?! PRIORITIES ?!?!

[penandinkprincess]

shane groaning SO loud when ilya first breaks out the allergy cards because GOD ilya it's NOT that serious this is embarass-

oh? is this more or less embarassing than having allergic reaction in the middle of a restaurant and needing your epipen? hm? shut up and take the fucking shiny cards, hollander.

and riFUCKINGp to the restaurant that lied about not using peanut oil in their fryer as an angry, stressed ilya is stuck in a hospital lobby with wifi and a lot of energy that has nowhere to go until he's allowed to be back with his husband. you're DONE FOR.

also ilya being lowkey SO fucking frustrated at shane having allergies AND refusing to eat fast food, especially when they're on the road so often and ilya eats allergy-free when they're together. hollander, pick a struggle. you know what will not kill you? mcmuffin. she loves you. look at her allergen list. she is safe. this organic artisinal breakfast wrap from this tiny cafe cannot say the same. she does not love you like mcmuffin. she probably whores around with peanuts.

[penandinkprincess]

GOD the psychic damage ilya takes the day he finds out body products can have allergens in them. his body wash company is getting a SCATHING email about fucking around with their formula when there are PEOPLE with ALLERGIES who RELY ON-

and shane meanwhile is just, "i can take some meds and just be itchy for a little bit. it's seriously not a big deal." "you are covered in bumps! it could have been worse. they should have to give warnings if they are going to fuck around with things like this." "you seriously have to calm down. it's not going to stop me from play-" "shane i cannot overstate how much i need you to not talk about hockey to me right now."

[cherrybeachbum]

(ꈍᴗꈍ)♡

Created/birthed by: ccatstacks

[1in1400million]

And just like that, Tim fell.

Tim's moral compass was pointing due north😜, brain screaming "MURDERER." His pants, unfortunately, were a traitor with a mind of their own.

Tim的上半身在和下半身打架，脑子想得是，我靠怎么办，失踪已久的哥回来变杀人犯了。裤裆想的是，衣服有点小紧，想立正了😂。

书接上回，还是古风AU。Chinese Wuxia/Jianghu AU.

[twiststreet]

She got the idea for the study while walking with her advisor at Stanford to discuss her thesis topic, and the paper she eventually published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology in 2014 is sharp enough that it should have ended the seated meeting on the day it came out.

She ran 4 experiments on 176 people. Same person tested twice. Once sitting, once walking. The creativity tasks were the standard ones psychologists have used for decades to measure how good a brain is at generating novel useful ideas.

81% of participants in the first experiment produced more creative ideas while walking than while sitting. In the second experiment, 88%. In the third, 100%. Every single person walked into a more creative version of themselves. On average, people generated 60% more novel useful ideas the moment their legs started moving.

The skeptical question is the obvious one. Maybe it was the fresh air. Maybe it was the scenery passing by. Maybe it was the change of environment doing the work, not the walking itself.

Oppezzo killed every one of those explanations with one experimental decision. She put people on a treadmill facing a blank wall. No scenery. No fresh air. No environmental change. Just legs moving in place while staring at white drywall. The 60% boost held.

Then she ran the experiment that closed the case completely. She took participants outside in two conditions. Half of them walked through a Stanford courtyard. The other half were pushed through the exact same courtyard in a wheelchair. Same outdoor stimulation. Same scenery passing at the same speed. The only difference was whether the legs were moving.

The walkers produced dramatically more novel high-quality ideas than the wheelchair group. The outdoors did almost nothing on its own. The walking did everything.

She also tested the opposite kind of thinking. Convergent thinking. The kind where there is one right answer and you have to narrow down to it. Word puzzles where 3 words share a hidden fourth word that connects them. The seated participants did slightly better on these. Walkers got slightly worse.

Walking is not a general intelligence enhancer. It does one specific thing. It opens up the divergent search inside your brain. The part that generates options. The part that produces unexpected connections. The part that takes a problem and finds five ways into it instead of one.

When you need to converge on the single right answer, sit down. When you need to find the answer in the first place, get up.

The mechanism is now well understood. Walking selectively activates what neuroscientists call the default mode network, the system inside your brain that runs when you are not consciously focused on anything. The DMN is where mind-wandering happens. Where memories cross-reference each other. Where ideas that have been sitting in separate folders inside your head finally bump into each other.

When you sit at a desk and force yourself to concentrate, you suppress the DMN. When you walk at a natural pace, the executive part of your brain gets just busy enough handling the walking that the DMN comes online and starts doing the work that focus was blocking.

The most useful finding in the entire paper is the one almost nobody quotes. The boost did not turn off the moment people stopped walking. Participants who walked first and then sat back down stayed elevated. Their next round of seated creativity work was still significantly better than people who had been sitting the whole time. The rest lingered for at least several minutes after the legs stopped moving.

You do not need to do creative work while walking. You need to walk before the creative work. The brain holds the state.

Edited down a long tweet. (x)

[xiaq]

Hello I don’t have time to write this, so I need someone else to.

What if we had a Heated Rivalry AU in which the boys elect to engage in some psychological warfare to ensure their coming out isn’t a shitshow within their teams.

Who can they depend upon for assistance? Women.

So Shane gives Ilya’s number to Jackie as “Lily” to add to the Voyagers WAG chat and Ilya gives Shane’s number as “Jane” to one of the Bears’ wives to add to their WAG chat and after they’ve both endeared themselves to these ladies and have built a rapport/trust with them, they admit that they’re not women, and are very anxious/scared about coming out because of hockey culture.

And the WAGs are like, oh, ok, we need to all make a serious effort to work on our husbands and boyfriends and ensure they’re not going to be dicks about this. So they start laying groundwork, encouraging their partners to participate in philanthropy events with queer kids, fundraising for You Can Play, camps, etc. And then they’re extra supportive/proud of their efforts. So anyone who isn’t already onboard is simply Pavloved into being an ally and anyone who is still resistant stays quiet as the locker room vibe shifts.

The next phase is when the WAGs are like, hey, we know you’re not out publicly, but do you want to come to private meetups and stuff? We can all keep it a secret! Even from our boys! And Ilya would really shine here, being dramatic about “oh yes, I would love to spend time with you beautiful ladies but I am afraid of what you say when you know who I am, because I am big famous celebrity but so misunderstood, you see🥺😔.”

And finally after they’ve made tons of assurances that they’ll still love him and treat him the same, and they won’t tell their partners, he tells them his identity. It’s a shock, but they get over it quickly, especially when he shows up in person for the next book club or whatever with a ton of delicious snacks and wine (I imagine hijinks occur on at least one occasion when one of the wives is hosting something and her husband comes home early and they all pitch in to hide Ilya and sneak him out).

Shane’s approach would be much more bashful at the start—the ladies love him because he’s shy but earnest and clearly pleased that they’re making an effort to include him and they all figure out quickly that whatever profession this man is in is very toxic but also he loves and understands hockey on a level that probably eclipses any of their partners so they’re like ohhh he’s in the industry, what if he’s one of the trainers or something?? No wonder he’s so nervous. And there are multiple behind-the-scenes bets over who this man is. Every time these women are at a game they’re squinting at staff like…is it you?? Are you the one who has turned Ilya The Slut Rozanov into a doting loverboy??

But anyway, they’re like we’ve had Jane(?) for a day and a half but if anyone is mean to him we’ll kill everyone in this room and then ourselves. But also they get to see him come out of his shell as he gets more familiar with them— A, because he has great sex tips?? It’s always the shy ones, amirite? (they are especially impressed by this after he tells them who he is). But also that boy is just dying for an avenue in which he can be appreciated for his cattiness; I know he’s keeping them fed in the group chat with his little asides about other players/league gossip. Tell me I’m wrong.

All this to say, when Shane and Ilya finally do decide to come out, on their own terms, all the WAGs are on board on both sides of the equation (maybe they even start cahooting once they know the coming out is imminent?).

So I’m picturing after one of the games— during the playoffs when all the WAGs are in attendance—they decide that Ilya is just going to show up afterward when the ladies arrive to congratulate their menfolk. So there are a bunch of cameras around when Shane is like, “Hey everyone! Lily is here!” And plants a kiss on Ilya and before any of them can react, their wives are like “AYYY ILYA! So good to see you, girl. Give me a hug.”

And the three journalists in the room who are leaving after getting their postgame soundbites are like, wait, holy shit, turn the camera back on, are you getting this?? As the WAGs all converge on Ilya and then disperse to their shell-shocked partners. Some of whom are like, “is this real?? You knew?? You’re on a first-name basis with Ilya Rozanov?”

“Oh yeah, Ilya has been coming to book club whenever he can make it for like a year.”

“ILYA ROZANOV HAS BEEN IN MY HOUSE?? Why didn’t you TELL ME?”

“Baby, didn’t you say after working with the kids from that camp you understood how important it was for people to come out on their own terms?”

”I…did say that. Yes.”

“Besides, he’s the one that introduced me to that microbrew you love so much.”

“My favorite beer. Came. From Ilya Rozanov.”

Anyway. Thanks to the ladies’ overwhelming presence, and their assistance running interference for that first exposure, none of the guys say (or have a chance to say) anything problematic. Shane and Ilya both give little soundbites about how awesome the Voyager WAGs have been and how supportive the team is in general––Exibit A, the guys are totally chill with Ilya coming into the family room! Obviously they trust their captain to keep his relationship separate from hockey (casual stat drop). At which point, Shane also very casually says that the Bears WAGs have been super kind to him as well, and Ilya confirms that HIS team is even MORE supportive of their relationship.

So when the news hits, the Bears WAGs are all like “Yeah, we ARE more supportive” posting selfies they’ve taken with Shane on the rare occurrences he’s been able to join them in person for something. And the Bears players are like, ok we didn’t know, but we’re not going to let the Voyagers show us up. Obviously we’re more supportive of Roz than they are of Hollander.

And then the commissioner can’t walk back all of the ensuing online (mostly positive) fervor, so they have to release a statement about how supportive the league is in general and no, of course we’ve known about this all along, we certainly weren’t the last to know. We’ve definitely been aware of this longer than approximately 50 players and all their wives. Total allies for sure. ✊🏼

Great success.

[thedreadpiratecam]

microdosing hell by being awake and literate

[oneswordstyle]

Level of respect a class of teens I have to teach art to have for me when I walk in: 0%

Level of respect after I draw sasuke from memory on the whiteboard: beyond anything you could possibly imagine

[oneswordstyle]

the true reason i rarely teach classes is to keep my ego at bay

[rylandgraces]

there’s a friday ass vibe about this wednesday boys keep your wits about you

[okaydays]

Ilya gets both hard and soft for Shane

[icaruswar]

sometimes i wonder if the other teams in the NHL got super fucking mad at montreal, (not for being homophobic, no no) for driving The Biggest Player Of The League to join the same team as The Second Biggest Player Of The League and create a pair so invincible that even a culmination of all the other top scorers from the league, like the Avengers, would wanna perform sacrificial rituals before facing the hollander-rozanov duo on ice.

it's not even because they're amazing players. that's obviously there, yes, but these motherfuckers move on ice like they can read each other's mind! and absolutely nobody is ever able to get in on this stupid little telepathic game plan of theirs. the cherry on top is that, that smug S.O.B. rozanov gets to chirp everybody's ears off during the game and then gets to kiss his equally smug husband on the lips after every game they win. (and goddamn they win a lot).

[4me2knowandyou2wonder]

Some random MHL team at a team+wag get together.

“Oh my god Hollander just got traded off the metros!” 12’s wife called into the room

The whole team looked up in unison a mix of excited reactions.

“We’ve got a chance, boys!”

“What B team did they throw him onto!”

“I can’t believe the metros were actually willing to give up their star player.”

“Um I’m thinking cup win this yearrr!!!”

“Oh my god [39] you’re so loud. Shut up.”

12’s wife laughed. “B team is right! Apparently he’s going to Ottawa.”

The room fell into disturbed and horror filled silence.

“No.”

“Why did we celebrate, of course he would join [81]’s team…”

“Fuck.” [98] was maybe crying.

“No one is ever winning a cup again.”

“I played with them at all stars… They can read each other’s minds… Hockey is over, boys.”

“It was fun while it lasted.”