Gender Theif

Watches TV and reads to forget about the real world

[pukicho]

Don’t give up. We can beat them! The kinder they are the harder they fall.

[howlingday]

Puki, be honest with me... Are we the baddies?

[pukicho]

Whatever

[hungwy]

I hate how 3 pm is so close to 2 pm so there's an illusion that there's still time left in the day to do things but in reality 3 pm is also close to 4 pm and if it's close to 4 pm you might as well just wait till tomorrow. <- can't argue against this by the way.

[grymmoires]

[inexplicably-gaining-followers]

This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.

[the-haiku-bot]

This stupid exchange

between friends has become a

cultural icon.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[obimomkenobi-deactivated2020062]

[kitchikishangout]

MY NAME, IS FRICKIN MOON MOON. I’D BE THE MOST IDIOTIC WOLF. ‘OH SHIT WHO BROUGHT FUCKING MOON MOON ALONG?’

[amusette]

the post that started it all

[star-spangled-jackass]

oh god

[danthefrickinking-deactivated20]

Never not reblogging.

[clarinetfool]

I’ve only seen this post in screenshots

[salamencerobot]

I’m very surprised this post hasn’t broken a million.

[pukicho]

There’s a large vehicle that occasionally drives past my house that just makes noise. I honestly think it was designed to make noise and do nothing else.

[beanssssssssss56]

So the vehicle version of you?

[pukicho]

I am not as big

[internaleggplant]

Bro is petite

[pukicho]

I am not 4 tons

[fruitcakebro]

Bro is tiny.

[pukicho]

I am just not 4 tons

[i-am-a-fish]

I JUST REALIZED I HAVE AN ENTIRE TUBE OF PRINGLES OH MY GOD YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

[i-am-a-fish]

something just happened to half of it

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we gotta get back into revolving bookcases i'm begging

truly we allow the pinnacles of human achievement to wither and collapse into ashes in the wind

[anablepsian]

These are the most fuckable bookshelves I’ve ever seen

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[tall]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

feels like a real step back that with all the sexual freedom available to us we moved to Hookup Culture instead of Having Sex With Friends Culture

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I find it weird, actually, that today it's more common to have sex with casual acquaintances you meet on the Hookup App than to have sex with people you already know and like and have fun with. and how if two friends have sex, there's an assumption there must be underlying romantic feelings. because apparently casual non-romantic sex is fine, but only with people you don't already like and care about?

I feel like the hippies and people who lived through the Free Love movement would be rightfully disappointed at us for these made-up lines we're drawing between Sex/Romance and (gasp!) Friendship. shockingly, it's fine to have casual sex with people you enjoy hanging out with and do not want to date. fun and healthy even!

[hextwo]

Ahhh... i dunno why but this feels like a result of purity culture.

Where 2 concepts clash:

You can have sex outside of marriage

But also sex is bad and you shouldn't do it.

It's not actually okay to have sex and it's shameful to do it and it'll taint your relationships if they know about it.

But also sex isn't bad and be free to do it whenever you want!

That turns into:

You can have sex but it's bad for your relationships.

So it's okay to have sex only if you're either planning to Marry them or Never seeing them again.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

HUH.... Society really fucked us on this one (and not in the fun kinky way ☹️)

[macintush-deactivated20140612]

Recycled tumblr humor

[macintush-deactivated20140612]

10k notes

[macintush-deactivated20140612]

pun

[macintush-deactivated20140612]

pun repeated in italics

[fuglypudding]

“did you just” added

[alleneverafter]

supernatural gif that fits even though the post was nowhere near related to spn

[tateshaw-deactivated20201206]

[ginger-witz]

comment expressing disbelief on how Supernatural has a gif for everything

[something-----strange]

Comment expressing their uttermost love for Tumblr

[hohoehoes]

comment expressing utter hate for posts like these

[knitbelove]

Comment that OMG IT’S THE ORIGINAL I’VE ONLY SEEN IT IN SCREENSHOTS

[mittensmorgul]

what was old is apparently new again

[bees-official]

Someone saying this post is a must reblog

[sagegreenfrogs]

someone mentioning the ops are all deactivated

[analogue-dragon]

The @hellsite-hall-of-fame reblog

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Happy 10 years to this post

[original-blog-deactivated]

Original poster deactivated 12’th of June 2014

[big-condiments-official]

sentence with the right number of syllables for the haiku bot worm

[the-haiku-bot]

sentence with the right

number of syllables for

the haiku bot worm

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[bebemoon]

"can our ai assistant help you?" "give our ai mode a try !" "our ai assistant is your new best friend !"

[jame7t]

Coolest thing about lord of the rings? The king of horses shows up. It appears he is no different from all other horses

[cryptotheism]

King of the eagles shows up later. He can talk. Horse king couldn't talk.

[betterbemeta]

He didn't want to talk to you.

[swaglexander-the-great]

[findingfeather]

Uh.

Point of order.

King of Horses ran 450 fucking miles at almost entirely a gallop, without more than a few minutes rest, in 4 nights and basically was like "wait why are we stopping?" when Gandalf took him into the city and he ended up in a stable.

This was not his top speed, nor did it push any limits on his endurance.

King of horses is very different from other horses, actually.

[elodieunderglass]

He just doesn’t do much about his administrative duties

[darkwizardtheorist]

But he didn't need to - his rule was stable, after all.

[singerin]

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

@ellakas

[penny-anna]

Bilbo was declared dead while he was away in the Hobbit (and had to do a bunch of paperwork to get declared alive again) but there’s no indication he was formally declared dead after leaving the Shire, even though most people assumed he had died.

Therefore I posit: having a missing person declared dead in the Shire requires the consent of their next of kin. Whoever Bilbo’s next of kin was at the time of the Hobbit (possibly Otho? I’m not sure) had him declared dead at the first opportunity but Frodo refused to ever do it.

Frodo had anxious hobbit bureaucrats knocking on his door every couple of years like ‘Mr Baggins… blease… it’s been 10 years… he was eleventy-one… can we fill out his death certificate yet’ and Frodo was like ‘absolutely not’.

Early on he genuinely couldn’t bring himself too but after a while it was more that he enjoyed irritating the local magistrate’s office than anything else.

[61below]

I raise you: the hobbitish bureaucracy has no means to re-declare someone dead. They had no precedent to declare someone who was once-dead dead again. They would need the Thain, the Mayor, and the Master of Buckland to agree to changing the statute, and since the Thain and the Master are too amused by the whole henclucking that they haven’t gotten round to it just yet.

[telltalelily]

I’m upping the stakes with: last time Bilbo was declared dead when he was, in fact, not dead, they removed the law stating that you can have someone declared dead without a body, so when Bilbo left (happily aware of this legal loophole and snickering) he could never become legally dead again.

[penny-anna]

I am loving the implication here that Bilbo can literally never die in the eyes of the law. He’d love that.

[apathetic-revenant]

a hobbit parent telling their kids the story of Mad Baggins and being like “thanks to a loophole in hobbit law he’s technically still alive today”

a hobbit child misinterprets this and lies awake at night worrying that Mad Baggins is still out there and will appear in their room without warning 

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Alternatively: the laws for declaring somebody dead if they’re missing for long enough are still in place, but the magistrates are just refusing to enforce them in this particular case.

After all, last time they declared Bilbo Baggins dead— which involved filling out all the paperwork necessary to declare somebody dead without a body— he had the rudeness to show up again, forcing them to do a lot more paperwork, and this time with an indignant Bilbo having a go at them while they did it.

As a result, the magistrates have decided that they’re not going to declare Bilbo Baggins dead a second time unless they have a body, a coroners reprt explaining the cause of death, and a three day wake to make sure that he doesn’t get up and walk away again.

Centuries later, hobbit parents tell their children that Mad Baggins is forever gone from the shire— at least until the day when somebody is stupid enough to declare him legally dead, at which point legend states that he will immediately come marching back, demanding an explanation.

[silver-tongues-blog]

i love the implication that its considered rude in hobbit society to show up alive after being declared dead

[prokopetz]

Two hundred years later the inheritance drama over Bag End is still going strong. The Sackville-Bagginses insist that even if Bilbo isn’t legally dead, he’s clearly abandoned the property; those responsible for overseeing the affair respond by pointing out that, as it’s well known that Bilbo Baggins could turn invisible, they can’t be sure he’s not still in the building.

[petermorwood]

Here’s the canon version:

It became a fireside-story for young hobbits; and eventually Mad Baggins, who used to vanish with a bang and a flash and reappear with bags of jewels and gold, became a favourite character of legend and lived on long after all the true events were forgotten.

Once that’s become established as A Possibility (no matter how unlikely), all bets are off and Common Sense has not only left the building but is under a table in the Green Dragon, as pissed as a newt.

[thickness-protection-program]

Is the plural of clitoris clitorises or clitori

[vergi1ius]

1. Clitorises is correct, as it utilizes the standard English plural.

2. Clitori is INCORRECT. The -i plural comes from Latin; however, it's only (usually) used when the word ends in -us. (See also penis/penes).

Clitoris, though, comes from the Greek, and so has a different declension. The correct Greek plural for the word would be clidorides. (See also octopus/octopodes).

[thickness-protection-program]

Thank you. give it up for clidorides everybody 👏🏿👏🏿

[fagdyke-fckry]

@official-pussy-posts-2

[official-pussy-posts-2]

Official Clit Post

[satan-offical]

Donald J. Trump if you breath I'm going to shove two bricks up your flappy ass

[galahadwilder]

No, Mr. Horse, don’t worry, I certainly don’t have a Plinko down here! What I do have is this lovely cask of wine, specifically for horses, Amontillado in fact! Exquisite vintage.

I know you’re not supposed to be in this hospital, but if you’ll just follow me down this corridor—no, that’s not blood on the floor, it’s color theory, I’ll explain it later—I can bring you to this cask of wine that is certainly NOT a plinko machine—

[sunfoxfic]

I'm telling you, Blorbo, I have the finest copy of my shows in the basement, please follow me

[queer-cosette]

we can take the Eeby Deeby - no, no, I promise it's not going to Gay Superhell - look, Eebders Deebeorg was an outlier adn should not have been counted

[galahadwilder]

Where did I get this Eeby Deeby? Well, there was this lovely Middle Eastern gentleman who was selling copper, the finest copper—

[queer-cosette]

hnnnnngg I’m trying to get blorbo into my plinko but the eeby deeby I bought from the copper merchant who as it turns out was EXTREMELY disreputable (who is he, to treat me with such contempt?!) is dummy thicc, thicc enough to block the Suez Canal in fact, and the eebert of the deebert is so scrimblo bimblo it keeps alerting the horse

[queer-cosette]

yoU PLINKO BLORBO?! you plinko blorbo like the HORSE?! Oh, Eeby Deeby for Glup Shitto! Eeby Deeby for Glub Shitto for 1000 YEARS

[galahadwilder]

“Eeby Deeby” is, in this case, putting an orange buttered cat face-first into a trashcan

[digitaldiscipline]

my name is blorb and when its nite and eeby deeby castiel's flight poe and wine cause discourse

i'm ever given; i plink the horse

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Historians are going to have to explain this culture someday.

[the-haiku-bot]

Historians are

going to have to explain

this culture someday.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[pukicho]

Is it true you are the one causing climate change?

Yeah. But it’s fine because I’m bored.

[pukicho]

Stop calling me taylor swift