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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
#extradirty
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
sheepfilms
NASA
we're not kids anymore.
ellievsbear
will byers stan first human second
almost home
No title available
JBB: An Artblog!
RMH
@theartofmadeline
Misplaced Lens Cap
DEAR READER
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Love Begins
styofa doing anything
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@monoredwarlock
Cedar Waxwings by jocelynefeizo1 http://ift.tt/1RM3Kk0
#do cedar waxwings ever eat anything besides photogenic red berries#do cedar waxwings ever do anything besides eating photogenic red berries#is there any way this child can get its parent to stop feeding it photogenic red berries
watch how many berries I can cram into this other bird
@wooftphr
it continues
so i took out the trash today like the good house husband i am not, leaving behind the rank smell of long forgotten noodles and the regrets of two people with memory issues
i, like any good tumblr citizen, remember the tales of the person who put two cups of vanilla extract in their oven so i did the sensible thing to get out two Caps of extract
just then, inspiration struck. a bolt of lightning straight from the muses themselves, if i could use vanilla extract.... who's to say i couldn't use other extracts?
i scoured the cabinets, i knew my partner had secreted away some illicit non-vanilla type extracts for baking, and i found it.
hidden in the back of the cabinet was a lone bottle of mint extract
i emptied my two caps with abandon into an (oven safe) glass dish and gleefully set the oven for 300 for an hour
all that was left now was to wait for the sins of the mind to be purged by the mighty mint leaf
ten minutes in... starting to smell kinda like a thin mint
fifteen minutes in, i take a nice deep breath of lovely scented air and i am greeted by searing burning minty pain
i launch myself towards the kitchen, every step closer to mint hell, every orifice on my face burning with the freezing righteous flame of menthol
im fumbling for the oven mitt to rid my home of this foul demon, i pry the oven open and am hit with a blast unlike anything else
i feel what that vine kid taking shots of mouthwash feels, i was seared raw, my tits were blown clean off, and it was just me and that devilish beguiling minty fresh taste
quickly dumping the rest into the sink i ran towards the door, begging for the sweet sweet smell of un-minted air
learning nothing from this encounter, i dare to try once more, with the tumblr-approved extract this time
wish me luck
update: the vanilla has finished cooking, it now very much smells like the pillsberry doughboy fucked a thin mint
doesn't hurt tho so.... improvement?
#congrats on commiting chemical warfare against yourself
me: man, I really need to get some bamboo stakes for the garden
my friend, the mulch pit:
me: *keeps forgetting to buy a bungee cord to secure my trashcan that keeps getting blown over*
my best friend, the mulch pit:
me: man, I really would like some irises. I just can't justify the expense rn
my lover, the mulch pit:
The Mulch Pit provides all (garden related) Things. All hail the Mulch Pit!
Hey anybody going to talk about rescued sacrificial maidens. Like yes a guy with a fuck off sword turned up and so you're not getting fed to the dragon/water creature/mountain spirit/vague embodiment of all things scary and you get to go back home, but is that really home? Your mom hugs you and your dad says he's so happy you're alive and you know that when they said they'll do anything to keep you safe they didn't really mean it. They have a feast prepared and you get to taste what they cooked for your funeral, help wash the dishes after. And it's selfish to think that between the whole village with everyone in it and you they wouldn't pick the lesser evil but it still leaves an emptiness in your chest, knowing exactly how much your life is worth. And the neighbors smile at you awkwardly and the neighbors' kids yell "hey! I thought you died!" because they don't know not to do that yet and maybe you did. Maybe you did.
And the hero with the fuck-off sword rode off into the sunset the way they always do but you're still here and you herd the cows by the cliff where you were tied up in your cleanest clothes waiting to not be alive anymore and sometimes you think that would be easier and when you don't come back one day, you can imagine it's a relief for everyone involved. Maybe you'll be the new thing to haunt the mountain, or maybe you'll follow down the road and listen for cries that sound like yours did. Either way, there's little left to fear. You know exactly how much your life is worth.
Actually the portrait of Charles is red to represent enthusiasm, energy, determination, passion, strength, leadership, and love. It doesn't matter that it looks like he's walking through fountains of blood spilled by the British empire! Some of you people need to learn color theory
i was WAITING for this post
tumblr coming across the painting:
And a secret third half, if you will: you're delighted you understand the jokes and realize maybe you should be concerned about this but you JUST DON'T BOTHER.
@enrichmentpumpkin your tags have passed peer review
Some computer related jobs will periodically send you emails posing as phishing scams and if you open it you automatically have to take a web safety training seminar and I just think they should do that for tumblr except with reading comprehension
#how DARE you say tumblr should send me phishing emails
speaking of america’s favorite fruit (not optional) i love applerankings.com so fucking much. absolute necessity for any real Appleheads out there
you just don’t get shit like this anywhere else folks
If you Catholic mfers were really so interested in God's design you would develop a theological appreciation of beetle biology.
Princess Plumbers!! I finally finished the whole set. Which one is your favorite?
Ngl getting some whiplash from going from Doctor Who Universes Beyond straight into Fallout UB like a week later
Need that Ixalan pallet-cleanser ASAP
i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.
If you shoot this, your monitor tips over
Every shot causes .5 second lag, creating the illusion of firing teleportation bullets
Tales from the Mana Crypt #60-64 - Red Riding Hood
Reading Weavers, Scribes and Kings at the same time as a long-form analysis of ASOIF really reemphasizing and cementing my contempt for fantasy world building that goes 'and then this specific dynasty ruled this specific kingdom in essential socio-economic stasis for [longer than the entire span of human history]'.
Like, cmon. Shave some zeros off the timeline. Please.
Making this post has motivated me to go back and work out a rough timeline for the 700-year-old empire in the fantasy setting I tinker with, which now has 4 dynasties, a 50-year 'time of troubles', a couple generations where it was basically a theocracy, and a 90-year 'regency' held by someone who was never proven in court to be a devil.
If your fantasy empire doesn't include a bloody-handed coup followed by a fifteen-year interregnum with like four guys all claiming to be the murdered heir within living memory, it's back to the drawing board.
I feel confident enough to post these now. A collection of all the existing posters after some edits from the other post that got 13k notes! These are full size/quality. Go nuts.
You may use them for wallpapers, tabletop campaigns, whatever. Consider tipping me (do people use kofi for that or tumblr's built in system? Let me know what you prefer) or buying a print or sticker here! If you do use them, let me know what for, or send pictures!
