Too Many Zines

Maya | she/her | 24

[sovietnam]

[notallmensheviks]

this is the funniest thing i have ever seen

[msboutofcontext]

[spacefinch]

This is honestly better advice than “if at first you don’t succeed, try try again.”

By all means try again. But do that after you figure out WHY you failed!

[sailorcuba]

why is the sims so addictive but only for a short amount of time??? like all u do is play the sims u don’t sleep u don’t eat it’s like you’re on drugs for around two days and then forget about it for the next whole year

[tasmanianstripes]

God creating Adam and Eve then fucking off for the rest of the eternity like

[ofswordsandpens]

I know Percy's desperately trying to escape the godly world but not only do I think the gods aren't going to leave percy alone once he's in New Rome, I also think Percy's in the situation now where he can't refuse at all because like, if he was in the mortal world at a mortal college he at least would be able to try and be like "sorry I can't do a quest right now I've already used up my three excused absences this semester try again in the spring :/" but in New Rome? They will be like "Percy! It is an honor to be hand-selected for a quest. And by the gods no less! Stars above, you should be grateful! I don't know what your little greek camp has taught you but here in Rome, we respect the gods' requests. Your absence will be excused. Now go."

[save-the-moonpjo]

#and any god that wants Percy Jackson for a quest just learns they have to file a request through the school and they've got him#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also the hilarious dichotomy of loathing your transfer classmate#because he's missing class every other week because the GODS keep giving him quests and the professors HAVE to excuse it#while you yourself have never ever even met a god#but also knowing that if you hang around percy it means your chance of meeting a god just skyrockets#pjo#percy jackson#mine

"Percy Jackson? Yeah I was in a group project with him last semester. He did like NONE of the work because he was always on quests but one time Apollo brought us all coffee when we were at the library."

[shiftythrifting]

ah yes i was looking for a soap dispenser labeled “ketchup” with a picture of grapes

[artenega]

I really want this bottle in my bathroom. I’d place it next to matching decorative soaps and towels as if it seems like it fits, but I’ll actually fill the thing up with ketchup. So when I have guests over and they decide to use the bathroom, they will see this bottle and have a moment of cognitive dissonance, “This [Soap Bottle] in the [Bathroom] is labelled [Ketchup], but surely it must dispense [Soap] instead of [Ketchup] despite the label saying [Ketchup] right?” and then let them have a moment of realization followed by abject horror as they pump viscous ketchup all over their hands instead of soap

[firelord-boomerang]

Zuko having a connection to the spirit world but instead of it being something deep and profound, it’s just because he spent three years pre-finding the avatar running towards the first weird magical shit he saw.

[firelord-boomerang]

Aang and Zuko journey to the Spirit World.

The Spirits: Oh look, the avatar.

The Spirits when they see Zuko: AND HE BROUGHT ZUKO WITH HIM! GUYS ZUKO’S BACK!!! EVERYONE HE’S HERE!!! ZUKO YOU BASTARD HOW ARE YOU?!

[roach-works]

iroh’s connection to the spirit world is one of sober mutual respect

zuko is the spirits’ equivalent of that one racoon who just hangs out inside a gas station on top of the slurpee machine so persistently that he’s given a namebadge and an employee cubby in the break room

[indigobuntings]

I can't believe home depot literally produced a wildly successful science fiction musical and we all just pretend it didn't happen. on one hand yes it had a boring white guy main character but like.... home depot just... Made it? And it had shit ton of box office sales? and no one even talks about this. this is like avatar (2009) all over again

[indigobuntings]

OK so. After a lot of frantic googling I realized this was all a dream. home depot did not in fact produce a wildly successful science fiction musical. I was on allergy meds and took a nap and my brain simply prophesized this. slightly disappointed because I wanted to watch it.

[bossyball]

I just laughed at this so hard my friend asked if I was committing tax fraud

[freedominthedarkmp3]

One time this man approached me in a bar talking in Spanish. So I assumed he was Spanish and we started speaking, we had a whole ass conversation and at some point he was like. So what part of Spain are you from? And I said well I’m Italian actually. What part of Spain are you from? And he was like. I’m Greek.

[pastelpinkcheeks]

One time I was in Argentina and I was so tired of trying to speak Spanish because I’m not very good at it lmao so I broke into exasperated English and the retail seller girl quickly understood me and engaged me in conversation. We talked for a while, she introduced me to a makeup brand, and then I decided to buy it. While she was packaging the purchase, she asked me if I were from the US or perhaps the UK and I just said “oh no I’m Brazilian hahah” and she looked me straight in the eyes and said, in clear Portuguese, “I’m Brazilian too”

[ex-evil-genius-deactivated20220]

When my dad went to China on a work trip, his Mandarin speaking wasn’t great but his listening was fine (his first language is Cantonese) and he encountered a German guy who had moved to China to work. My dad knew how to speak German because he studied it in university (but wasn’t great when it came to listening to new vocab he hadn’t studied before), and the German guy knew Mandarin because he lived and worked in China, so they had a conversation where my dad spoke to the German guy in German and the guy responded in Mandarin. I’m sure it confused a lot of their coworkers who just saw the Asian guy speaking German and the white guy speaking Mandarin.

[theriversdaughter]

Some years ago, I worked for a manufacturing company that had a service depot in China.  One of the engineers from the main office here in the US spent most of his time at the depot.  The problem was that he didn’t speak *any* of the various Chinese languages, and no one at the depot spoke any English. They all, however, spoke Spanish.

[1stsana]

I love the world

[nyanms]

Coming soon✨🐞🐾🎄✨

[funeral-clown]

actually supervillains with kid hero nemeses are hysterical bc if i was a billionaire and i found out the kid who was also my nemesis was a preteen orphan i would simply adopt them. oh you’re going to stop my nefarious schemes? how when you’re grounded. go to your room

[funeral-clown]

the trick is be a good parent so they don’t wanna fight you. son if you topple my criminal empire how will i pay for your college? reverse batmanning

[funeral-clown]

Weaponized guilt. Son you’re out on a school night? When you have that big science test tomorrow? I thought you’d be studying…getti g some rest…no I’m not mad I’m just. Well a little disappointed I guess. What do you mean this wouldn’t be happening if I’d stop robbing banks their insurance covers it son money isn’t real

[funeral-clown]

Who’s this guy is he your “sidekick”? That’s so cute when are you having him over for dinner. I’m not teasing I think it’s sweet I’m glad you’re making friends. Side note how durable is he I’m about to throw a car at you

[heroes-villains-side-blog]

[prometheusascendant]

putting up “HELL IS FAKE” billboards in ohio to start a dialogue

[zwoelffarben]

putting up “OHIO IS HELL” billboards in ohio to continue the dialogue

[dagny-hashtaggart-deactivated20]

putting up ‘OHIO IS OTHER PEOPLE’ billboards in ohio to confuse the dialogue

[shiftythrifting]

I completely regret not purchasing this High Art (Seattle Goodwill)

[professionalowl]

[id: a semi-realistic framed portrait of a deer from the neck up. It has red laser beams emerging from its eyes. Where the beams make contact with the frame, the wood has been blackened and burned. /end id]

[ampedsandie-deactivated20230717]

we're learning a lot today.

[quecksilvereyes]

since im on a roll about tragedies:

i am sick to death of fourth wall breaks that are funny. i want fourth wall breaks that make me want to cry.

give me hamlet looking up during his monologue to see the audience and plead with them for help. give me orpheus, on the road back up from the underworld begging us to make sure eurydice is there, to tell him she is safe. give me orpheus turning when the audience stays silent.

give me someone, bloody and full of tears monologuing to the camera when the narrative has wound itself so tight that they can't escape it anymore.

"youre just watching me. help me. im dying and im rotting and im losing myself and you wont do a thing."

i want the tragedy to be the performance. i want the tragedy to be, truly, in the eyes of the beholder.

[logomantic-deactivated20230714]

[mobylace]

It’s like this

[toskarin]

me: and now, a keysmash

Light Death Note Monologue in My Head: that doesn't look right. I have to backspace it and try again or it will seem unnatural.