Liar to Children

Odder on the inside.

[polyhexian]

When one of the non augmented humans wants to get mb's attention without putting their feed device on they just say 'ping' out loud. And it works

[polyhexian]

It's on preservation and one of its presaux humans has a cold and is laying facedown on the floor in misery and just says out loud "SecUnit will you order me McDonald's" and when it arrives twenty minutes later just says "thank you" and then the microwave beeps

[hippity-hoppity-brigade]

#they learn several days later theybe been signed up for a seminar on The Pitfalls & Dangers Of Anthropomorphosizing And Normalizing The#Tools Of Surveillance Imposed By Corporation Rim Economic Dominance etc etc#ratthi like ok but the corporate spyware in this case literally IS my friend???#mb: two seminars for you ratthi

@silentwalrus1 your tags have been peer reviewed

[strawberrydykke]

opened up ravelry to look at patterns and the very first thing i saw was

The Garment by Robert Cole

[bixbythemartian]

went to read the Ravelry and that was such a treat:

Let the Garment envelop you; experience its heft and splendor. The original Garment pattern was knit in the round, from the bottom up, and designed for someone six feet in height. A simple adjustment of the number of stitches you cast on will allow you to customize the length. Follow The Garment on Instagram: @HeftAndSplendor Update, Aug 9, 2026: Many thanks for all the Garment enthusiasm in recent days! In response to sensible feedback, I’m developing and testing two alternate versions of the pattern: one for children, and the other a top-down version. I’m not entirely sure why I chose to make the first The Garment bottom-up—it almost certainly makes more sense for sizing, etc., to make it top-down—although I will say that casting on 300 stitches for the bottom of a The Garment feels like quite a leap of faith into the great unknown. In any case, both new versions of the pattern will be included in the update and sent to everyone who’s already bought the original pattern.

The pattern for the Garment costs only five usd so if you are a knitter and you want to make something beautiful and baffling, there you go. I do almost want to learn to knit so I can make the Garment.

(Also there's more pictures of people wearing the Garment at the Ravelry page and they're all FANTASTIC.)

[orange-catsidy]

[orange-catsidy]

faqs:

is this real? / i thought pro wrestling was fake? wrestling is 'fake' in that the fights are choreographed and the winner is predetermined, but the physicality is very real. there's no way to 'fake' getting whipped with a metal chain so hard it leaves welts.

why ARE they chained? this is a specialty fight called a 'dog collar match' where both participants are, you guessed it, fitted with dog collars which are then chained together.

is this legal? / how can this be allowed? why wouldn't it be? they're both consenting adults who planned and agreed to it.

but they could be seriously hurt! they know, and they accept the risk. pro wrestlers are well aware of the injuries possible in their line of work, and they do it anyway because they're crazy people.

IS there aftercare? of a sort, yeah - there's a medical team on hand to patch everyone up, and lots of coworkers backstage to give them a 'job well done!'

why are they wearing thigh highs? they're kneepads/shin guards for protection. looking like sexy thigh highs is just a bonus side effect!

ok, but why's that guy in a shiny speedo? personal preference. wrestlers can design their own outfits and some prefer full coverage long tights, while others wear less to show off the gams.

is that cm punk? yup! he unretired last year.

why do straight men watch this? i'm still trying to figure this one out. 🤷

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#is this just kinky as hell to anyone else or like#is that just me? 

Nah mate two half-naked muscular men chained together by their dog collars whipping the shit out of each other with chains in a ritualised power struggle with a predetermined dominator and submitter of the interaction in a public ring is wholesome family entertainment

[myjennieblr]

Treaty Bride - Chapter 3

Treaty Bride - Chapter 3 - 2.1K words

Shitamuki no Mura is a small town that is home to some old friends, and Jiromasu is quite willing to stay up late to celebrate some good news with them while General Hashiga takes Kagami back to their inn. Their new evening routine remains overwhelming, but promises to continue to also be pleasurable, and Kagami learns the difference between reading about something and experiencing it.

Previous Chapters: Treaty Bride - Chapter 1 - 1.8K words Treaty Bride - Chapter 2 - 2.5K words

Treaty Bride - A Kagami Chronicles alternate timeline.

As a Crane, Kagami had always known her marriage would be to advance Clan goals. As an unusual Void shugenja, trained at the Isawa school in Phoenix lands, she had eventually understood that her marriage would be more political than she felt capable of dealing with. But she had not had a choice, not after the Void damage from her youth had faded and the aura of disrupted energy that had kept almost all at a distance from her had disappeared, and not as stories of her skills began to spread across the Empire.

It was still a shock to have the marriage be to a Lion. The contract amended the treaty in place between Chisana Basho and their Lion neighbour to the north, and acquiring Kagami as a Lion bride promised stability for the foreseeable future. So, Kagami was to be sent to the North, with a new husband, leaving all she had known behind.

Leaving her cousin, the other half of her soul. Leaving Nami, her yojimbo and friend. Leaving Goro, gruff and goodhearted. Leaving Tetsunoaka, steadfast, loyal Tetsunotaka, whose heart lay at her feet, even as there was no future for them. Not in this lifetime. She would be Lion. She could not take Crane warriors with her into Lion lands.

Marriage terrified her. But marriage was her fate.

[quoms]

Nolan's Odyssey plays with PTSD as a theme, but it neither glorifies nor condemns war as such. It's textually a movie about how war and fighting and killing have Rules, and if you break the Rules enough then not only will you as an individual be divinely punished but all of civilization will collapse. This is the rare take so ultra-centrist that it will appear to many viewers as cryptic and esoteric

[quoms]

I actually don't resent Nolan for making movies with assertively centrist politics. That's his right as an artist, and anyone vehemently asserting anything is automatically kind of interesting to me. But of course there's a void at the heart of centrism - a fundamental absence of real belief - which is why people run into so much trouble when they try and pick apart the politics of a Nolan film. There's nothing underneath, nothing there to "get to."

I was thinking about Disco Elysium's Moralism while trying to explain this post to someone, and of course about "Kingdom of Conscience", and it occurred to me (and I know this isn't an original thought) that centrists have a very hostile relationship to desire. It's not just beliefs and convictions that must be "put away immediately, and the child reprimanded," it's the wordless desires that lie under those beliefs and convictions. Desire is by definition unfulfilled: all desire is the desire for things to be different, which is the opposite of what centrists want.

What I'm saying here is that the lack of sex, and of sexiness, in Nolan movies (and Marvel movies and other contemporary blockbusters) has a direct connection to their political messaging. It's not solely American puritanism or risk-averse PG-13 corporate conservatism - although it is those - it's also this desire thing. These movies don't just lack sex, they lack eroticism in the broadest sense of the term. They lack frisson. Even when there is sex or nudity, there's still no eroticism!

These blockbuster protagonists generally don't want things, they don't need things, they don't crave things, they're obligated to things. That makes them less than human, not more than human (just compare and contrast with the gods in Greek mythology), and it makes the movies quite boring in my opinion!

[madeleineengland]

They are even better 🌒

[colorschanging]

@bbcwhereareyou

[enki2]

[dragon-with-shitty-wifi]

A German friend of mine (usually a sub) was experimenting with domming me over text message while I was at a work sponsored lunch.

She asked me what I was eating and I told her "a hot dog with ketchup and Sauerkraut" and the idea of putting Sauerkraut on a hot dog so threw her for a loop that she completely dropped her persona

Apparently the German desire for control is no match for American food sacrilege

[myjennieblr]

Me, today, googling something because I was sure I couldn't be the only one...

"Do electric cars sound like..."

Google fills in, top answer: "bohemian rhapsody"...

I am not the only one.

[byjove]

Achilles wouldn’t have died if he was wearing OSHA approved work boots.

[byjove]

Don’t let workplace safety be YOUR Achilles heel.

[pooslie]

[catasters]

[shoezuki]

obsessed with the canadian ghoulmaxxing acecel

[lilyflxwers]

ok i absolutely need to know what accents u all have pls reblog and tell me or comment or whatever I must know

[myjennieblr]

Treaty Bride - Chapter 2

Treaty Bride - Chapter 2 - 2.5K

As Kagami starts along the pathway of her new life, she has to contend with the first of many separations as she says goodbye to Goro and the devoted Tetsunotaka. At least she still has her cousin traveling with them. She will be able to hold onto the familiar for a few more days, even if that constant, too, is starting to change. Previous Chapters: Treaty Bride - Chapter One - 1.8K words

Treaty Bride - A Kagami Chronicles alternate timeline.

As a Crane, Kagami had always known her marriage would be to advance Clan goals. As an unusual Void shugenja, trained at the Isawa school in Phoenix lands, she had eventually understood that her marriage would be more political than she felt capable of dealing with. But she had not had a choice, not after the Void damage from her youth had faded and the aura of disrupted energy that had kept almost all at a distance from her had disappeared, and not as stories of her skills began to spread across the Empire.

It was still a shock to have the marriage be to a Lion. The contract amended the treaty in place between Chisana Basho and their Lion neighbour to the north, and acquiring Kagami as a Lion bride promised stability for the foreseeable future. So, Kagami was to be sent to the North, with a new husband, leaving all she had known behind.

Leaving her cousin, the other half of her soul. Leaving Nami, her yojimbo and friend. Leaving Goro, gruff and goodhearted. Leaving Tetsunoaka, steadfast, loyal Tetsunotaka, whose heart lay at her feet, even as there was no future for them. Not in this lifetime. She would be Lion. She could not take Crane warriors with her into Lion lands.

Marriage terrified her. But marriage was her fate.

[consulships]

i do think theres something sad about how largely only the literature that's considered especially good or important is intentionally preserved. i want to read stuff that ancient people thought sucked enormous balls

[literaryreference]

Time to take this post entirely too seriously:

I often wonder if this is why you so commonly see the sentiment that we are in an era of uniquely bad literature, or at least that the fact that most books don't have artistic aspirations and are not aiming to be anything other than mindless entertainment is new. In fact what's new is the idea that everything is worth preserving (and also the internet making it easier to preserve it). The dumb artistically unambitious trash books of the past have survived only sporadically, because people thought of them as literally disposable.

When I was in college I had a professor who was an expert on detective fiction. He had a longstanding beef with the idea that "Murders in the Rue Morgue" was the first detective story. He thought that it seemed way too polished to be inventing a new genre, and also that the whole orangutan business had the vibe of someone subverting preexisting audience expectations and maybe engaging in a bit of stealth parody. With the help of some student volunteers, he went trawling through old magazines and newspapers and found hundreds of detective stories from the early 1800s that just hadn't garnered enough individual attention to be remembered. This was because most of them sucked balls. He created an online archive of them, so you too can read these mostly terrible stories.

[tricky-pockets]

I've spent a ridiculous amount of time on Project Gutenberg sifting through forgotten old fiction and lemme tell ya. a lot of that stuff sucks ass.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Tremendously comforting, really.

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Did you know? Tumblr DOES have a post length limit. Strangely, though, it's based on how many blocks of text you have. Supposedly this implies that you can have any length post so long as it's one block of text? Very strange, will have to investigate further.

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Two limits! You can have a maximum of 4,096,000 characters in 1 [one] tumblr post. I would work out how many combinations this is, but 26^6,000 is already considered to be "Infinity" by most calculators, and a program I wrote threw an error code.

26^95,000 is already over 134,000 characters long - which would take 33 different text blocks to convey via tumblr. Whenever somebody says we're running out of posts, don't forget that tumblr is needlessly designed for MASSIVE amounts of information [no matter how detrimental it may be for mobile phones].

There are SOME works of fanfiction which are lengthy enough that you couldn't fit the whole thing into one tumblr post, but this is enough to fit Hitchikers Guide To The Galaxy in it about 14 times over.

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Don't hide that in the tags

[thewolfofthestars]

The Lord of the Rings is generally my go-to measuring stick for "long-ass pieces of text", so I must additionally point out that, if written out optimally, about 2 full Lord of the Ringses would fit into one Tumblr post, apparently.

Though I'm not certain if that character count includes spaces, unfortunately, as I got that figure by googling "how many letters are in lord of the rings" and came upon a TikTok that counted the number of letter characters in LotR in order to figure out how many Spaghettios cans would be needed to re-write the entire thing, if one were to cut and paste each individual letter from the cans blackmail-letter style.

For those curious, the numbers are 2,261,081 letters in LotR, which calculates out to 8,795 cans of Spaghettios needed, which would cost about $12,225.

What a way to start my day. The internet truly is a beautiful place.

[jv]

Hey! Guy who programmed most of the core pieces of the editor here!

So, those are the theoretical limits, yeah. But in practice, the editor is not even close to be optimized to handle these kinds of huge posts: there is a point, far far away from the size of the lord of the rings, that your browser would just crash.

So if you are planning to post long fanfiction, or anything, you better work on something that's optimized for long form (locally, or some alternative to Google docs) and then post in chunks.

So no, Tumblr is not designed to support these massive posts. It's theoretically possible, but that never was a real scenario we were trying to support

[sztupy]

Editor crashes? No problem, I'm sure you can do that through the API though

[jv]

I'm honestly very curious of what it would happen if someone tries something like using the API to post the entire Lord Of The Rings. I would assume the request would timeout, but it would be a cool test to run. Anyway, if it works, anyone trying to reblog that post would just insta-kill their browser :D

[sztupy]

IT WORKED!

Post by @full-lotr-test

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 0 · J. R. R. Tolkien — The Lord Of The Rings. (1/4) ----------------------------------------------- THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J.

(okay this is just the first book, let me see if I can do all three)

[jv]

oh yeah, almost a million characters, 365 text blocks, and the editor is handling it pretty well

Honestly, it works way better than I expected! I guess being plain text and not having to render any fancy formatting is enough for a modern browser to handle it well. Reblogging it took a few more seconds than usual, but went through too. Good job tumblr!

[sztupy]

Here's the entire one, all 3 books + appendices:

Post by @full-lotr-test

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 0 · J. R. R. Tolkien — The Lord Of The Rings. (1/4) ----------------------------------------------- THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J.

The API did return a 500 when trying to upload BUT it actually did upload

[willcodehtmlforfood]

.

[yapping-migrant]

opening @full-lotr-test makes the app crash, I need to check on PC 👀

[jv]

I just tested on my Android phone and it froze the app for about 30 seconds, but when I thought it was going to finally crash, it actually loaded the blog and started working normally

[jv]

Btw, @sztupy, have you tried to edit the post? Does it work??

[sztupy]

Yes, someone asked me to add a tag so they can filter it out, and I tried that over from the web interface.

For the first post (first book only) there was no issue. Edit loaded, I could add the tag, press Save and done. Note: this was on a PC using Chrome

For the second post (all three books) it worked the same way as the API. I could load up the page and edit it, but when pressing save I'd get an error message. However the edit did go through actually and the tag is now there.

Haven't tried to edit the text itself, but don't think it would make a difference - if your browser can load it'd just work.

(On mobile on a low/mid-range Android the App could open up the post without problems, but haven't tried editing. Using a mobile browser - Firefox in my case - the page could load but it was super slow, and buggy, and it also did crash once)

Also as a public service announcement: if you want to filter the post out from your dash the tag is #full-lotr-test

Also if anyone is interested I loaded up the entire LOTR trilogy in TXT file, then wrote a code that split it out into NPF (Neue Post Format, you know the new PDF or whatever) blocks of at most 4000 characters, then simply called the Create Post API with the resulting NPF block. I believe there's around 900 blocks in the second post above, each block containing somewhere between 3000-4000 characters, so close to the theoretical limit

[notahorseindisguise]

some kids came on the train and saw someone they knew hopping on yhe train at the next station. one of them goes "yo is that gay sam??" and im like ughhh. okay is that what we're doing. and then sam comes over and theyre like GAY SAM WHATS UPP and gay sam is like NOT MUCH IM GOODDD IM FRIED RIGHT NOWW and they were like classic sam. so. thats on me for assuming honestly

[beardedmrbean]

[giliisnotcreative]

@i-like-reblog-maps I heard you like large maps ^⁠_⁠^

[i-like-reblog-maps]

what the fuck

that thing is eldritch

acquired a dark mode version just to see what it’d look like. oh my god. this map is gorgeous

i have never seen a hub that large. i’m?? stunned

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Didn't realise it was a reblog map at first,thought somebody was drawing the visual effect that accompanies casting Testicular Torsion.