✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

not here anymore. this blog was so embarrassing im so embarrassing it was all a prank and social experiment

[catgirldick]

[chongoblog]

Hey guys! It’s halfway through the week and it’s been a bit of a rough one for sure. Here’s a cute picture I found that should be able to help us keep on truckin!

[chongoblog]

WAIT YOU GUYS I JUST GOT A REALLY GOOD IDEA HOLD ON LET ME DRAW IT REAL QUICK

[chongoblog]

KABUTO

[falsedetective]

it’s the year 2080. the expressions “the horse has left the hospital” and “between a crematorium and a dildo store” have fully entered the lexicon even though barely anyone remembers where they originated. one day the kids who live in the Amazon Temperate Habitat Bubble next door ask me what was between the proverbial crematorium and dildo store in the first place. i rip off my Amazoxygen® Ventilator and gasp, “the fucking horse” and immediately die from the polluted air in my probably-covid-ravaged lungs. haunted by these cryptic last words, the kids bury themselves in the ancient runes of the Internet Archive until they find the meme that unlocks it all. the horse was one of the last presidents of the late american empire, a lynchpin in the slow disintegration of the union. suddenly, a drone flies directly through the window. “forbidden word detected: ‘union’,” it says, gearing up its Amazon Brainbuster Electric Reinforcement System. they run

[sniperct]

[globalhypnosis-deactivated20181]

[aakgf46vbfd45vhij57vvn900-deact]

its monday. lets get on it cunts

[vzm]

wishing everybody a penis friday

[7244395]

Prior to 1980 psychiatrists could diagnose you with “sucks at life disorder”

[sinetoning]

problems disorder

[fullmetalwindbreaker]

the instagram fitness community loves sidewalk oats

[mosticonicposts]

certified iconic post

[withlovewithsqualor-deactivated]

Might fuck around and accept the things I cannot change

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Please do not contact me about the Supernatural ending I know everything and there’s not a single post I could make that will come near touching the sheer parody of itself that was its finale. Nothing I say will be funnier than what they did to themselves. Maybe now humankind can finally start to heal.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Never mind my friend Sera just told me on the phone that she thinks the Impala ascending physically to heaven is what creates the Catholic canon in the Pixar’s Cars universe

[guooey]

I still haven’t recovered from this

[justsomeantifas]

prisoners should get to vote while theyre in prison.

[justsomeantifas]

paid for by tax dollars. u betcha.

[justsomeantifas]

no looparound shit like “ok but they gotta pay for it themselves the postage and blahnldh” nope. free to prisoners.

[justsomeantifas]

u dont like that? then get rid of prisons. damn.

[ratliker1917]

Just making drug jokes that completely misunderstand what each drug does. Seeing like a surrealist image and going like Holy shit were these people doing poppers??????

[biohazrd]

girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure

[brucebocchi]

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

the BEST THING about America is that one of their timezones is called mountain time. i cannot tell you how funny that is to me. it sure is always time for mountains in one fourth of america

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

1/4 of you guys live like this

[mymeatishuge]

it’s my birthday

[patrocles]

keep floridas name out of yalls mouth challenge

[enbyofdionysos]

people are on twitter throwing shade at Texas and Louisiana as if Texan republicans didn’t just file a federal lawsuit to throw out 127,000 votes -- Texas (which could fit the entire UK in it 2.8 times need i remind you) also closed hundreds of polling sites, leaving one county with only two sites. TWO. Louisiana also ordered hundreds of polling places to close early ON ELECTION DAY.

i don’t want to hear people going “oobloobloo these boomers” and “oobloobloo the south” and “oobloobloo these hillbillies”

IT’S DIRECT VOTER SUPPRESSION.

so stop making jokes about sleeping when southerners need help during hurricanes because your middle class white ass was able to safely get in your subaru to drive to your local polling place on your lunchbreak meanwhile voters on their way to their polling places in north carolina were pepper-sprayed by police.