Neon Fracture's Home of Madness @neonfracture - Tumblr Blog

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

meilintheempressofdreams

Reblog for unexpected $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

symbolblue

uhh did i forget how time works or was the first post in december 2018 and the second in august 2018

greetings-inferiors

Reblog for time travelling $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

atopfourthwall

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account would improve EVERYTHING, in fact.

raptorific

bruce wayne maintains a presence on all conspiracy theory boards with the screen name BruceWayneIsTheBatman and all his posts have titles like “BRUCE WAINE IS BAT-MAN INDISPUTABLE PROOF” and it’s just a picture of Bruce Wayne from the back next to a picture of Batman from behind and they both have the contours of their butt drawn on in a shitty MSPaint red line (note: Bruce is in a suit and Batman has a cape, neither of their butts are clearly discernible) and the quote “THE BUTTS MATCH!!! THE FACTS DON’T LIE!!!!!” and he makes at least three of these posts a day, and “Bruce Wayne is the Batman” becomes a meme a la “Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer” and he gets asked about it on a talk show and he laughs uproariously at the idea and Stephen Colbert just HAPPENS to have a batman mask under the desk and they do a bit together where Bruce Wayne puts on the mask and walks around saying things like “excuse me, bank robbers, can I perhaps offer you some money to stop you robbing this bank?” and “I say, cease and desist your criminal behavior or I’ll have my butler ask you to leave” and the audience is LOSING THEIR MINDS laughing at the idea of this pampered rich guy taking on the Joker on a bi-weekly basis and then anyone who suggests “Bruce Wayne is Batman” in earnest gets met with mocking “oh man do the butts match” comments

kyraneko

Imagine, someday, the Joker actually finding out a) that Batman is Bruce Wayne and b) that he’s spent their entire shared career being completely and utterly trolled by this stoic asshole in a bat suit and by that utterly hapless billionaire, and then Bruce-the-Batman leans in and whispers, “The butts match. The facts don’t lie,” and Jokes can only stare at him in complete and utter awe because Bruce Wayne as the Batman he can sort of wrap his brain around but Bruce Wayne and the Batman are that ridiculously wrong conspiracy theorist TOO, and he’s RIGHT?!!!

It’s the best and biggest bluecreen of the Joker’s life, and somehow, he’s never been happier.

dabard

The Joker: Why are you telling me this? Batman: Because no one will ever believe you. The Joker: You sick son of a bitch.

technofeudalism

yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you greedy fucks

puppygirl-hornyposting2

good.

momperlman-deactivated20251022

"We keep making our service worse, cancelling shows before their time, hiking up the prices, and generally ruining what once was a decent product--piracy keeps wining somehow. 🤷"

tygerbug

This is the money Marge. Reblog for good fortune

anna-scribbles

i see y’all with your “steven goes to work at the mystery shack” headcanons and i’ve just gotta say… he would absolutely be the sketchiest person in gravity falls

thepringlesofblood

the 2nd gravity falls summer (bc you know there would be more than one) the mystery is ‘what the fuck is wrong with this traumatized pink teenager’ instead of ‘who is the author of the journals’

with such great hits as

mabel (upon seeing steven’s gem): you’re PERMANENTLY BEDAZZLED?????

dipper: ugh gideon’s the worst

steven: oh yeah I hate it when your friends try to kill you, but you just gotta wait it out and be patient with them and they’ll come around to you eventually

dipper: what. the fuck.

the kids repainting the sign when mabel drops her paintbrush to the ground by accident, cue steven being like ‘np i’ll get it’ and walking straight off the edge of the roof

mabel: i hate that picture of me, 4th grade’s the worst

steven: haha yeah…grades…those exist… i definitely didn’t look exactly the same from ages 8 to 14 for complicated shapeshifting reasons

“our grunkle stan is kind of a sketchy guy” “oh no way most of my family are war criminals”

steven: *breaks a cup* aw shit *licks it and it seals back together*

dipper: *furiously taking notes*

theres no possible way that steven “haven’t you noticed I’m a star” universe doesn’t come over to mabel’s slumber parties w/ candy and grenda and casually mention his girlfriend who a. is literally a knight in shining armor, b. has taken down multiple genocidal dictators thousands of times her size, not to mention c. mastering the art of swordfighting when she was twelve and d. saving his life and the lives of all the beach city residents on a regular basis

dipper: *trying to reach something on a high shelf*

steven: oh here you go *shapeshifts his arm to grab it and bring it down*

dipper: ??????thanks??

playing w/ waddles and nonchalantly saying something about missing his own large, pink pet, a magical lion that can teleport and that he has ridden into battle multiple times

(at suzy’s diner) steven: don’t worry, i’ll get the bill

various pines: thanks man

steven: it’s cool, my dad’s a millionaire

dipper:

novantinuum

it’s honestly the funniest fucking thing to imagine steven outright not even PRETENDING to hide any of the unusual parts of himself, but dipper still acting as if it’s all some giant conspiracy he’s going to crack by the end of summer.

mabel: “dipper, stop being such a dummy-dumb, he literally TOLD us that he’s half gem on his mother’s side!”

dipper, chewing furiously on his pen: “yeah, but what does that MEAN???”

silver-tongues-blog

steven: Oh my mom used to be an alien overlord sent to earth to drain it of its resources. But she didnt want to so she lead a rebellion against my aunts and grandma which i had to finish a couple years Grunkle Ford: huh, so thats what happened to the gem authority

smolltree

The implication that Ford knows exactly what Steven is and just left Dipper to obsess over it anyway is gold

tiktoks-for-dead-pope

adamsmasher

I can NOT stop thinking about this tiktok

adamsmasher

update: i have not stopped thinking about this tiktok

felcemartello

Crying

boss-of-armadildos

Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation

oaktreebutch

Something in Homestuck that will never stop being funny to me:

Okay so Sn0wman, right? This lovely lady:

She was the Black Queen of the troll’s session, who was overthrown in a coup and exiled to Alternia.

Do you remember why that happened? Why the trolls and the four archagents who later became the Midnight Crew were able to defeat her, the Black Queen, one of the final bosses of Sburb and one of its most powerful players?

Because she didn’t wear her magic ring, the magic ring that transforms carapacians into deadly, super-powered monsters based on what each player’s sprite was prototyped with.

Why?

Because it was prototyped with a frog head. Because Araida prototyped her sprite with a frog head, a creature reviled by Dersites. So reviled, in fact, that the Black Queen gave up all of this power at her disposal because she just couldn’t bear looking like one.

So that’s all well and good, but what, you may ask, is the funny part?

Well.

In this panel right here, Doc Scratch appeared and gave her a “new purpose.” To become Sn0wman, to join The Felt, and, on a larger scale, to become the universe.

That’s right. Somehow, through some weird first guardian magic, Scratch made her the literal universe.

And do you remember what the universe is? What the universes are, in Homestuck?

BIG FUCKING FROGS

So to recap: The Black Queen, due to her vanity and her hatred of frogs, gave up a source of power that probably would have saved her from being exiled. But then, after her exile, she became the biggest frog in the fucking universe.

Oh, and it gets better.

Remember these assholes? Yeah, sure you do. You read the intermission. Of course you read the intermission. What kind of asshole would skip the intermission?

The Felt, the gang Sn0wman ends up as a part of, is made up of fourteen leprechauns, who are repeatedly referred to with such descriptions as “amphibious, froglike, frog people.”

Despite, and in some ways because of, her refusal to wear the frog-prototyped ring, Sn0wman ended up as a representation of a giant frog, living among a gang of frog people.

And I just find that hilarious.

weirdmageddon

this is the best panel in homestuck

weirdmageddon

RIGHT …… dad crocker is poppop crocker’s son. but to john egbert all he sees is his own dad who he lost 3 years prior

ryanphantom

the worst part about the straight brony post is that I don't have a funny "oh, but I'm a gay now!" or a "oh, I'm a girl now!" response................ I'm still straight

str8aura-no-not-that-one

hungry-skeleton

I need as many people as possible to watch this video from the official Angry Birds tiktok or else I'll get a fucking hemorrhage

krafterwrites

fudemushi

retrogamingblog

what it feels like to play pokemon ruby and sapphire on max volume

floatinglonewanderer

I will never not reblog this

escuerzoresucitado

earhartsease

phantomrose96

Hiromu Arakawa’s genius is obvious throughout all of FMA but her first and biggest leap of genius was in how she crafted her protagonist.

Arakawa realized the burgeoning youth of the early 2000s wasnt interested in another plucky spry optimistic young shonen protag. Instead she gave us a short ugly egotistical asshole smarter-than-you atheist with so much money and power that people could no longer best him in arguments by telling him “dude shut up ur literally like 12″

Five pages in we’re told Edward’s famous and rich and powerful. Five more pages and he’s calling some girl stupid for thinking God exists. Five more pages and he’s proven right. Five more and he’s kicked an evil priest’s teeth in. And no one can tell his mom on him.

Hiromu Arakawa figured out the dream of every edgy young weeb discovering internet arguments for the first time and she cast them an idol made of gold.

phantomrose96