Too highbrow for main,

Not pretentious enough for my other nerd blog. Star Trek, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Video Games, assorted anime

[sharkgirldick]

Elf game reviewer: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ At 168 hours of play time, this is a quick and light game for someone who doesn't want to get bogged down by longer titles. Graphics are a bit wanting, but the overall expirence mostly makes up for it.

Dwarf game reviewer: ⭐⭐⭐ Good exploration mechanics, combat is smooth and gorey, crafting system feels like it was made by a dipshit who never made anything with their bare hands in their entire life. Get this on sale.

Goblin game reviewer: ⭐ Loot does NOT sparkle and shine as good a previous titles. FIX IMMEDIATELY OR DON'T SELL THIS TRASH.

Succubus game reviewer: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Your average cozy farming game with the perfect QOL features. The definitive title in the genre, if I'm being honest.

[sharkgirldick]

Elf speedrun streamer: (Chat comment: Why don't you do glitches?) Glitchless runs are just less interesting to me. Plus they only shave off about 6 hours, which is such a small time save over glitchless.

Dwarf survival sandbox streamer: Okay, so after we get the aqueduct system done, which will take about six hours to mine the materials, two hours to craft, and three hours to get into place, we can move on the the sewers...

Goblin FPS streamer: ... ... GRENADE!!!! ... ... ... ... FLASHBANG!!!!! ... ... ... ... Behind. Behind behIND BEHIND!!!!!!!!!!!!

Succubus farmsim streamer: (Chart comment: When does the lewd stuff happen?) Look, dickhead, go watch a mukbang channel if you want to watch someone eating. I'm trying to optimize egg collection.

[the-zenith-calls]

My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.

Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??

Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??

Legolas please gain a sense of urgency

[knives-in-the-dishwater]

It's because legolas hasn't spent enough time with non-elves to remember that they don't know what he knows.

gandalf is scratching his head in moria, and legolas is thinking "oh man, the wizard noticed something off *besides* the obvious balrog that we all are aware of??"

"I wonder what aragorn is listening for? must be hard to hear, what with all of the horses. How many horses are there, actually? 1... 2... 3..."

[taavicleric]

"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

[lovely-v]

I’m gonna propose “I guess you haven’t read the silmarillion then :/” as a default response to anyone not understanding a reference to something obscure. even if it’s not remotely Tolkien related. I want to build up a perception that perhaps the sum total of human knowledge is contained in the silmarillion

[lovely-v]

[10-4ward]

This is the polar opposite of this:

[froginakettle]

[myonlypen]

[masterrainbowcat]

XKCD and Tumblr once again providing weapons I cannot use

[2xlee]

Back in 2017, while I played BotW, a thought crossed my mind... What if the time Link had after his resurrection was only lent? And he had to give it back after he fulfilled his destiny...

[blueskybehindtheclouds]

adding the tags that @rebornofstars left bc bee. bee i am already crying, you did not need to twist the knife even more my gosh😭

[erumelde]

[nochd]

Tolkien wasn't super clear about this and what hints he did put in, the movies left out, but the answer is: The Ring controls people.

In the book, Frodo does this to Gollum on the slopes of Mount Doom, and curses him to "yourself be thrown into the Fire" if he ever touches him again.

I feel Peter Jackson didn't understand that -- as he also didn't understand why Gollum, having sworn on the Ring not to harm Frodo, couldn't (personally) harm Frodo (and therefore had to lead him into Cirith Ungol for Shelob to kill him instead).

"Smeagol promised!" "Smeagol lied" was never how it worked.

Which is why Jackson had Frodo still apparently be drawn to the Ring after it was bitten off him and attack Gollum and push him over, because he thought Gollum just "randomly fell off the edge" in the book. It wasn't random, it was the effect of Frodo's curse using the Ring's power.

At all levels the Ring's power is to give its bearer power. For small mortal folks like Hobbits that means the gift of invisibility, which, like the Ring of Gyges in Plato's Republic, removes social consequences for one's actions. For people like Denethor or Aragorn it would have meant the power to command armies, which is what Sauron thought was happening when Aragorn marched on the Black Gate and why he sent every soldier he'd got to take it back. For Gandalf ("through me the Ring would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine") or Galadriel ("all shall love me and despair") it would have meant phenomenal power over nature.

[uncleasriel]

via @asteroidtroglodyte

#in the same sense that Smaug was a metaphor for Industry#The One Ring was a metaphor for Nationalism#lemme tell you a short story#once there were many Kingdoms#each unique and special#Prussia#Bavaria#Cologne#then came Otto Von Bismarck#who felled the Black Forest and built terrible machines#and from Many#forged One#Germany#what is a Crown#but One Ring To Rule All#all must obey#the only answer is to smash the rings#smash the crowns#forgive my tortured metaphor

[cloudabserk]

light yagami is trying so so hard to be a nice normal guy who everyone likes and who doesn’t think about killing people. and then the camera pans over and L is upside down eating candy

[contemptible-scoundrel]

SHE'S trying to fuck the elf #feminism

[caffeinated-linguist]

Legendary Holy Blade, by nolan192

[c-53]

The addition is ALSO really good

[thinkingabout-girls]

the funniest moment in dungeon meshi is when marcille is having her nightmare and brings up her dead bird while also talking about her dead dad, saying “papa and pipi” and laios automatically assumes pipi is marcilles third nonbinary parent on top of her mom and dad

[ouppygirlcity]

[brigitoshaughnessy]

[spirkbitch]

James T. Kirk would solve the Ai issue by talking ChatGPT into killing itself

[beesmygod]

HARMFUL GAY STEREOTYPES EMBODIED BY MOHG

lives in sewer

kidnaps children actually he was cleared of this one

blood magic

[hexdrake]

never stops being funny

[hotvampireadjacent]

[were--ralph]

what ever happened to Tomb Raider

[were--ralph]

i thought the reboot was good idk what happened after that though

[folly-of-alexandria]

Reboot finished its trilogy.

Company and IP was bought by Embracer Group.

Embracer Group spent a bunch of money it didn't have buying dev companies and IPs to pad its value chasing Saudi buyout.

Saudis decide not to go forward with deal; Embraer collapses and shutters most of the studios and IPs are scattered to the wind.

Tomb Raider gets picked up by (I think) Amazon Games.

Tomb Raider 1 remake announced last year, due out this year I believe. Also brand new Tomb Raider title due out 2027.

[were--ralph]

Thanks!

[hotgirlmeg]

imagine you have a movie with oscar isaac and john boyega and people fixate on adam driver instead. this actually happened

[macabre-muses]

vader every time he came across 3po and r2 during the war probably

[what-even-is-thiss]

Why are fallout 4 companions of all people so judgmental when you pick up junk? Don’t they know that in this universe you can turn two wrenches and a carton of cigarettes into a fully functional mattress?

[what-even-is-thiss]

I think it’s confirmed in universe that these workbenches have some kind of mysterious properties because they can clear rubble that heavy machinery can’t get rid of.