Jessica, 25, Aspiring Actor
What is the biggest frustration youâre facing now?
That in order to do the things I really care about I need money, but in order to get money, I need to spend most of my time on things I donât really care about, which takes away from that time I have to do things I do care about.
2. What trait do you wish you most had?
Ease of talking to people and relating to people more. Itâs something you need in life just to get along. I struggle with it which makes a lot of normal life things, like calling the credit card company because something happened, a source of great anxiety, which it shouldnât be.
3. What are 3 characteristics you look for in a friend?
Loyalty, humor, and accepting, but also not afraid to be able to tell you when youâre being an idiot.
  Loyalty because I feel like Iâm a loyal person and also kind of a jealous person and if I have a friend who then kind of flakes on me or acts one way one time and acts a different way around a different group of people, I find that very annoying. Itâs frustrating and also I tend to take it personally. Itâs probably more just that person than me, but I donât like that. I prefer someone who is loyal and not a different way around different people. So a true and loyal friend.
  Humor because I like to laugh and I think everybody likes to laugh. Itâs hard to be friends with someone who is serious all the time. Even if you respect them, itâs hard to really be friends if you canât share laughter.
  And the third longer one that I said because you canât be friends with someone if youâre constantly afraid theyâll judge you. So accepting, but you also donât want someone whoâs going to allow you to do something really dumb. Thatâs not a true friend if youâre doing something that needs to be addressed. A true friend will call you out on it.
4. What makes you feel brave?
I mean itâs small scale, but dealing with people is something that scares me sometimes. Doing that makes me feel, maybe not brave, but proud of facing my fears. When I taught pre-school for a little while, and I donât feel like Iâm someone who connects very well with children naturallyâŠ.thereâs some people kids just naturally like and I donât feel like Iâm one of those peopleâŠ.but the fact that I would go there every week, even though I was terrified, and ended up loving it. I was pretty proud of myself.
5. What makes you feel vulnerable?
Sharing personal struggles with people. Thatâs kind of cliche, but true. I think in general we like to put on a face of âthis is what kind of person I amâ and thatâs usually a strong âI have everything togetherâ kind of face. I guess especially if thereâs a particular areaâŠ.like there are areas where I make no attempt to disguise the fact that Iâm not good atâŠthose areas where anybody would know Iâm not super skilled. But other areas where it seems like this is something that I am good at, or something I am together withâŠ..confessing struggles in those areas is scary and vulnerable.
6. What was your proudest moment?
An accomplishment that I was proud of was for my sisterâs wedding/Christmas gift. Background to that story: last Christmas, there was a painting in a thrift store that I had noticed when I went shopping with my sister and she told me that her, at the time, boyfriend had also noticed it. I was going to get it for him, but by the time we went back, it had been sold. He was upset because he was like âWe should have just bought it while it was there,â but my sister didnât want to buy his Christmas present in front of him. So for their wedding, I was gunna find the painting and buy it for them, but it was really expensive, so instead of buying it for them, I took a screen shot of the image online and I painted it. Iâve never painted before, but I watched Bob Ross videos and I sketched out this painting and I painted it. It took me probably over 24 hours all together. I know one day it was almost 12 hours straight! So I painted a picture of a ship and when I gave it to her, my sister said âWhere did you find it?â So I must have done a good job! It must have looked like the original and I told her I made it. So I was pretty proud of that. Having no experience painting and I made that and gave it to them as a gift!
  And a âproud ofâ moment is whenever I see people I love and care about succeeding. My little sister, who follows in my theater-loving foot steps, got the lead role in her 5th grade play. I was at home at the time so Iâd helped her prepare for the audition and then she came home from school and she was like âI got Jane! I got Jane!â So I was proud of her for that! Any time I see her on stage too. She was Babette in Beauty and the Beast and she was fantastic! Even though she had wanted Belle, she was amazing as Babette and I was proud of her. Also seeing my other sister get married and just the person sheâs become, Iâm really proud of her.
7. Who is your role model / hero and why?
I think there are certain traits of different people that I take as a role model in different areas. My two best friends from high school are people who just love people really well. Â I mean I love people, but I donât relate to people as well as either of them, so I admire that and sort of aspire to that. My parents. Sort of a cliche answer, but theyâre wonderful people in their faith and their commitment to each other and just how they go through life and trust in God. Theyâre very admirable. Theyâre role models I guess.
8. What is one life lesson youâd like to pass down to future generations?
  This sounds really basic and itâs something that everyone hears, but itâs worth saying again: Not to worry so much about how youâre perceived. The more you worry about how people are perceiving you, the less youâre connecting with that person. The more you worry about how youâll be perceived, the worse youâll be perceived. So it defeats itself. If you are just content with who you are or put more interest in the other person or the situation at hand and less on perception, they probably will perceive you better. If they donât, then their opinion is probably not as important as you think it is.
  There was a particular instance. The short version is I realized the worst that could happen is they reject meâŠyou know, going into almost any social interaction with that thought of âbut what if they reject me?â But then sort of the worst happened, but instead of scarring me for life and thinking âNo one will ever like me,â I went âThat happened, it sucked, but I survived.â Actually, now knowing how it feels to actually be rejected, freed me up to make sure Iâm not that sort of person to other people. I can reach out to people, not needing anything from them, just making sure they donât feel pushed aside the way I was. I think that was an important sort of life changing lesson for me to learn. I think itâs an important one that everyone should know.
9. What is your opinion of Jesus?
Heâs pretty amazing! You know, I love Christmas for traditional Christmas things. I love decorations and buying presents for people, making presents for people, family, Christmas movies, Christmas music. What I think is the coolest thing about Christmas that to me makes it even more exciting is the height of contrast between Jesus in glory in Heaven and being all powerful, supreme lord of the universe to a baby. Iâve been around babies, theyâre not all that impressive. They look cute in nativity scenes with the little halo, but babies are really not that glamorous. Especially poor babies born on the road in sort of limbo in the middle of chaos. Then going on to live a not very glamorous life. Also knowing how messed up this world is, going from perfection to voluntarily stepping into this messed up world kind of blows my mind. Not to mention that it was all for the purpose of redeeming his people, which is pretty awesome.