Out Of The Woods

Honestly? This blog is a mess

[gringolet]

king arthur, if you’re out there, there will never be a funnier time to wake up

[nextstopparis]

ARTHUR PENDRAGON COME HOME

[penandinkprincess]

i am. a simple woman.

[eatyourdamnpears]

out of their MOUTH???

[penandinkprincess]

DID 👏 I 👏 STUTTER 👏

[westmoor]

my ONLY issue with how the fandom depicts Lil Bleater is the descriptions or situations inferring that it’s a sweet and innocent and placid thing, happy to be handled or placed or cared for

while anyone who’s ever known a goat know that they’re inherently cursed and terrible animals (and that’s how, unlike sheep, they survive)

[westmoor]

@kageygirl yes.

Geralt: I might bring Jask-…

Vesemir: Is it another fucking goat?

Geralt: No?

Vesemir: Good. Bring it, whatever it is.

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Bold of you to assume that Jaskier will not climb the pile of rocks and start screaming, also.

[penandinkprincess]

@wren-of-the-woods relevant to our interests

[ninianity]

“#goats are to other ungulates as Lambert is to.. #as lambert is to just about everything he encounters”

The tags are killing me

[makesoneteam]

you're fucking joking. you're shitting me. lancelot kills gawain in some of these texts? on GOD?

[ninianity]

Welcome to the joys of Arthurian mythology.

[jackalspine]

Uhhh au where Merlin glamours aithusa in to a big white dog that he just has now. He convinces Arthur to let him keep it bc it’s “stupid luck won’t keep the bandits from clobbering me over the head forever y’know” which accidentally touches on a secret fear of that exact thing happening that Arthur complies easier than expected.

It maaaay be a bit difficult to explain why the dog occasionally coughs up soot but like,, don worry bout it

[jackalspine]

Aithusa is the biggest welsh sheepdog Arthur has EVER SEEN like she’s l a r g e. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen one that completely white and wonders how exactly Merlin of all people stumbled upon such a beauty.

The knights have been on a few excursions with her and by gods does she do her job well. During one of the extraordinarily frequent bandit attacks they witnessed this dog absolutely BODY a guy and maul his sword hand to shreds, blood dripping from her muzzle onto her white fur she truly looked like a beast. Merlin made a good effort in cleaning it off- admonishing her for messy habits n whatnot

During mealtimes she targets the weaker willed knights and bullies them into surrendering their scraps. Lancelot in particular seems to have an enduring softness for her, letting her yoink larger portions of his meat directly from his plate. She seriously seems to eat several times her weight in stolen treats it’s a problem.

This dog is FAR TOO COMFORTABLE NEAR FLAMES. poor Gwen almost had a heartattck seeing her stick her face DIRECTLY INTO THE FIREPLACE OH MY GOODNESS Gwen is frantically patting Aithusa’s face with a damp cloth hiding the soot stains from Merlin

[jackalspine]

Merlin holding up Aithusia: this is my daughter

Arthur: where the hell did you get that

Merlin: hatched her out of n egg.

Arthur: gods, fine- don’t tell me. I feel like I don’t want to know anyways.

[jackalspine]

@ln-ofx lol

[likeniobe]

my lord (intimate) 

[penandinkprincess]

a concept: eskel and lambert IMMEDIATELY seeking out jaskier after the mountain because unlike some witchers, GERALT, they aren’t idiots, and they know that other witchers know about jaskier. they gotta get the bard first. they gotta maintain wolf school dibs. 

what if another school steals him away, geralt? there’s only one witcher hypeman/mascot on the entire fucking continent, and the wolf school has him. eskel and lambert aren’t the white wolf, but they still get some perks when people see the wolf medallion. what if he goes elsewhere? what if the viper school finds him? what then, geralt? hUH?!

[penandinkprincess]

tags from @oniongrass #OKAY BUT JASKIER GETTING A ‘REBOUND’ WITCHER MUSE WHO’S POINTEDLY THE OPPOSITE OF GERALT (INCLUDING SCHOOL-WISE) WOULD BE SO FUNNY 

Aiden has entered the chat

(jaskier, more than slightly tipsy and more than slightly pissed and ready for revenge: okay, okay, what’s the opposite of wolf school? what would…what-!! THE CAT SCHOOL. PERFECT.

aiden, sensing his chance and already having ditched lambert specifically for this opportunity to snag the bard for his school: well hello there)

[runeofluna]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[kaible-deactivated20181205]

This is one of my favorite posts because that cat’s fucking name is fucking meatloaf

Let us just appreciate that this person’s dad didn’t know when they would be home and so he couldn’t plan for them to be able to join the family for dinner, but he knew with no doubts that dear sweet Meatloaf staying in that exact position for hours was an absolute in this scenario. Truly, that cat was named well.

[pizzacatsandboobs]

one of my favorite posts on tumblr over the course of 5 fucking years.. clearly i need a life

[disgustinganimals]

Meatloaf is a reliable cat and did not steal the money for selfish reasons. A rare friend.

[yourshipsaregross-blog]

I love Meatloaf. :)

[whiska-aliapoh]

Bless Meatloaf

[coloradoqueen]

Reblog Money Meatloaf to get surprise $40

[mducklesworth]

Avengers Powerpoint Night

Peter: every avenger’s bedhead ranked by floof levels

Bruce: why steve should let me and tony have sleepovers in the lab

Steve: why science talk must be banned at the dinner table

Tony: height is a social construct

Sam and Clint: Caw Caw Motherfucker: why birds are the superior animals

Thor: the god of thunder’s guide on dealing with a brother who is in the habit of dying

Natasha: Top 10 Reasons Every Avenger Needs Therapy (#8 Will Surprise You!)

Bucky: What the fuck happened to bananas in this century, and my views on it

[ninianity]

The last one is making me laugh really hard

[lancelotdeservedbetter]

do i even have to say it

[merlinmyrddin]

[queenofavalon3]

Facts

[lancelotdeservedbetter]

do i even have to say it

[merlinmyrddin]

[queenofavalon3]

Facts

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Geralt, the “Butcher of Blaviken”: For my first djinn wish I would like some peace and quiet, so that I may nap.

Jaskier, named after a flower: I WANT MY ARTISTIC RIVAL TO HAVE A PAINFUL STROKE AND DROP DEAD.

[ninianity]

This is the dichotomy I love.

Geralt might be dangerous, but he has a code. Jaskier? Jaskier is feral. He’ll love and leave everyone in your family, and the next thing you know you’ll spend the rest of your days surrounded by relatives pining after the White Wolf’s barker, all because you said one mean thing about witchers.

[insomniac-arrest]

hello Witcher fandom, here is my first contribution 

[ravensinflight]

I love that Geralt is like “I was beaten and starved” when talking about his childhood training, and is constantly trying to get Ciri to rest, eat, and feel good about herself. Geralt says the cycle of violence ends with me; meanwhile, Ciri’s over here:

[bumblebeebats]

[ninianity]

[jerry-of-rivia]

[ninianity]

You know what. I love this. If only because men are finally getting subjected to the same shit women are

[justynart]

✨sleepy baby✨