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cherry valley forever
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Sade Olutola
roma★
Sweet Seals For You, Always
if i look back, i am lost
$LAYYYTER
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@nixaroo
YO ON SOME ANIME SHIT THIS DOPE AF!!!!
Some loser: Wrestling is fake Me: Explain THIS Loser: Holy shit
i’m so delighted that tumblr found out about this match, because lord have mercy, twitter was losing its shit over it
This majestic as hell
They’re drift compatible
This shit is like. That’s choreography.
Ooooof
Here’s some undead. Going to fix up how they look soon but still, have fun with them! Twitter :)
that theory that the Arkenstone is a Silmaril…it’s doubly implausible, but imagine if nobody knew. If the dwarves were guarded enough of their greatest treasure that…you wouldn’t even need to hide it from that many people, honestly. Mostly a few elves, and all wizards.
and then Bilbo sidles up to Gandalf like, “Thorin and all are holed up in the Mountain, but I think they’re being nuts, so I…kind of stole the Arkenstone, I think.” And (it’s been thousands of years since the light of the trees was doused save for the precious brilliance locked away in Feanor’s gems, since oaths and blood and war that raged until the skies cracked and the earth shattered, and the little people of the Shire have no memory of it at all) he pulls out a fucking Silmaril.
Gandalf: *spittake*
Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwood’s eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingol’s court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. we’re good. we’re good for now*
Gandalf: That’s, uh, nice, Bilbo. Put it away, would you?
Gandalf, telepathically(?): EMERGENCY RINGBEARERS ONLY CONFAB NOW
Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelled “thisfuckingrockagain.jpg”]
Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves: no.
Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while: Absolutely Fucking Not.
Gandalf: Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-
Galadriel: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield has a Silmaril right now?
Gandalf: No, no.
Gandalf: Bilbo stole it.
Elrond: *wordless sputtering*
Gandalf: @Galadriel [information packet: BilboBagginsoftheShire.pdf]
Galadriel: Oh yes, Belladonna’s boy, you were telling me about him last winter.
Galadriel: Btw, orc+warg army probably coming your way. Spotted it in the mirror last night. Thank goodness we dealt with Dol Goldur at least, huh?
Elrond: No fucking shit.
Gandalf @Gwaihir Windlord: hey, sorry to bother you again, I know it’s nearly mating season. but we have a situation again
Gandalf: [thisfuckingrockagain.jpg]
Gandalf: [oncomingorcwargarmy.jpg]
Gandalf: [flashbacktobadasseaglesinwarofwrathhinthint.mov]
I mean, given that Tolkien retconned “The Hobbit” so Bilbo’s little invisibility ring became an ancient piece of jewelry that controls minds and drives the mighty mad, one can at least understand why it seems plausible that the other shiny white gem that destroys empires and makes the mighty go mad with greed could be linked from his kid’s book to his gigantic early mythology in retrospect??
Erebor is known as “The Lonely Mountain” because it doesn’t exist as part of any ranges…and the third Silmaril was prophesied to go into the earth/soil. It was supposedly cast into a fiery pit, but what if the act of casting it down MADE a fiery pit, and the land frothed up into a volcano as the Silmaril sunk further down into it? (Or from the magic involved in forcing it down, or from the science involved when you suddenly drill down far enough to hit magma PLUS the magic introducing an insanely powerful magic artifact into said magma.) That’d give us a mountain in the middle of nowhere, with a Silmaril deep down in its bowels waiting for a day when it might be uncovered. There is plenty reason, after all, for anyone who knew the truth about what happened to it to spread a lie about the exact nature (and location) of the third Silmaril’s “destruction.” (That’s been my headcanon for like, the last three or four years at this point, and I’m sticking to it.)
guess who ingested some foreign objects!
also he has now been officially weighed and he clocks in at a whole 7 pounds. (hes not malnourished hes just leetle)
bastard man ate some rubber bands
hi im sorry but “patient: the void” is the greatest string of letters ever created
ikr, I died when my mom sent me that picture
wow okay this got a lot of notes overnight
yes my cats name is The Void and for good reason because most of the pictures we try to take of him end up like this
and yes he is in that last picture ^^ youre gonna need to jack the screen brightness up to find him
or alternatively:
mr. void, would you like to meet the abyss?
twin agents of darkness
This is so cute.
To pet this cat to first have to sign a statement saying you are not Anish Kapoor.
I went to the farmer’s market yesterday and at the honey guy’s booth and there were all these bees just hangin out. Checking out the beeswax tabs, floating around the honey jars, not being aggressive, just really gentle and investigating or something
and as he was giving me a sample of the wildflower honey one of them landed on his hand and he just took a drop from the jar and dabbed it on his hand for the bee, and when I asked if they were his bees he said “No, but they show up every time I come out, I think they just know my truck” and this guy is well-known among the local bees and lets them sit on his hand and eat his honey and I just really like the bee guy
What more of an endorsement could you hope for
you met a fucking forest nymph
Bees are genetically designed to recognize royalty.
Way back in time my dad worked on a honey farm for the summer. All the rest of them (including dad) wore the full kit.
But then there was this guy dad referred to as the Beorning.
If you’ve read The Hobbit (not seen the movie, read the book) you know that Beorn is a huge expansive man who turns into a huge expansive bear, and also has a home in the woods with animals he can communicate with including and perhaps especially his bees.
He eventually has sons and ends up giving his name to a whole area and group of people - the Beornings.
At the honey farm this guy was a huge burly guy with a big black beard and hair and he worked with no gear and stripped to the waist and never got stung. Sometimes a bee would get stuck in his beard, and he would gently take it out, talking to it all the while.
I would suspect he and the OP’s honey guy are related.
be safe y'all ✊🏿
reblog to save a life. Literally. Holy heck.
Sexuali-tees presents the Pride Flag Collection whatever you identify yourself as show off and be proud of who you are! Get your tee here! 10% off for all of Pride Month!
I want one or maybe two
is this a bi joke
Probably they wanted to run it bi you
I would definitely bi one of these
Lesbiaonest I cant get bi with a bi joke cause I’m a lesbian
These puns are pretty ace.
I should have gay-ve one to my friend for their bi-rthday.
I need to perform several trans-actions with whatever company makes these.
I’m seeing how this pan-s out.
They have a shirt that says “I’m ????” And I know it means questioning but that’s the biggest mood.
This is pretty awesome to BI honest
This keeps popping up in my dash and it’s different everytime, I don’t know if I can let this go bi any longer
THEYRE SIZE INCLUSIVE
I CLICKED ON THE LINK EXPECTING IT TO GO UP TO A LARGE AND BE DISAPPOINTED BUT THEYRE
SIZE
INCLUSIVE
JESUS
FUCK
WAIT HOW SIZE INCLUSIVE? WHAT SIZE DO THEY GO UP TO?
IT GOES UP TO 4XT OH MY GOD I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW T WAS A SIZE BUT WHAT DO I KNOW IM ONLY A 2XL
OMG I WENT TO LOOK NOT EXPECTING TO FIND DEMI BUT THEY HAVE A SECTION OF INSTEAD OF FLAGS THEY SAY ”IM (insert sexuality here)” THEY HAVE EVERY ONE!!! EVEN ONE FOR IF YOURE QUESTIONING THATS JUST ”IM???” AND AN ALLY ONE AS WELL HOLY SHIT
THERES A KEYSMASH TEE
THERES 2 VARIATIONS OF A TSHIRT THAT LITERALLY HAS A KEYSMASH ON IT HOLY CRAP
To celebrate Pride month in June we have 20% off across the store until July if you use this link! This includes our most popular collections: subletees, pride flag tees and keysmash tees!
Do you ever just crave to someone’s presence, like you would literally be happy sitting next to them in silence and appreciating their existence.
an authority figure: [expresses slight, arguable disappointment in me]
me, shaking: Wow. Can’t Believe I’m The Worst Person Alive
authority figure: *is in a bad mood or even is just less friendly than usual*
me, stomach in knots: My fault? I must be the cause of this?
Three types of D&D classes:
Those that derail the adventure by saying “I’m gonna kill it”
Those that derail the adventure by saying “I’m gonna steal it”
Those that derail the adventure by saying “I’m gonna fuck it”
Kill:
Paladin - unflinchingly devoted to combating evil, or dangerously repressed? Either way, inclined to smite first, ask questions never, because they don’t approve of necromancy.
Ranger - if you’re lucky, the ranger has a tragic backstory that requires revenge. If you’re not, they’re straight up a trophy hunter.
Barbarian - tendency to get murdery when confused.
Steal:
Rogue - if it’s not nailed down, the rogue’s taking it home. If it is nailed down, they’re also taking the nails.
Wizard - look, those spell books aren’t going to read themselves, unless they will, in which case the wizard really wants them.
Fighter - less impulsively stabby than the more niche stabby classes, but may be unlikely to resist the urge to acquire something fancy to stab with.
Fuck:
Bard - if you don’t roll to seduce the big bad, are you even really playing a bard?
Sorcerer - it runs in the family, probably.
Druid - this is not the intended use of wildshape and no one wants this but there goes the druid anyway.
Wildcards:
Cleric - depends pretty heavily on what sort of god they follow, but you’ll probably know how they’ll ruin everything by the time they do so.
Warlock - honestly, who knows, it’s likely even they’re not sure which category they’re going to fall into until their patron’s orders come in.
I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired
jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him
So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:
John Mulaney - early 20th century
Eric Andre - Probably 17th century or so.
Taika Waititi - Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare
Keanu Reeves - We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.
Jeff Goldblum - 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.
Tommy Wiseau - Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.
Oscar Isaac - born 1400s at the latest, may actually have been Raphael
I feel we need some more female immortals.
For your consideration:
Cate Blanchett: Elizabethan may actually have been Elizabeth, probably why her and Taika get on so well.
Viola Davis: biblical times, probably punched Jeff Goldblum once or twice
Janelle Monae: young immortal, early 20th century or was born whole and pure as the first human
Maggie Smith: probably Roman times, probably fought them in battle covered in woad
Before you get mad at your partner for not doing what you expect them to do, Stop and ask yourself “have I ever communicated to them that I have this expectation?” If you have not, it’s unfair to expect them to read your mind.
So many arguments are saved by just opening your mouth and saying “hey hun, in the future can you….” Whether its articulating how you like to be loved, supported, or communicated with, you have to open your mouth. Your soul mate (IMO) isn’t the person that just always knows what you need when you need it without you telling them. Your soul mate is the person who hears your needs and thinks “I have no problem doing that because I love this person with my whole heart”
So check your attitude and open your mouth. Closed mouths don’t get fed.
The first explanation is good communication.
The second explanation is also good communication, because repetition is how brains learn.
But when you’re twelve years into shouting leave the shower door open or else it will mold, then it’s time for him to fucking own his shit and grow tf up, bc nagging wouldn’t be necessary if he’d learned the first three times he got told.
Meet Frank. (photos by OhSweetFancy)
This may be my new favorite post.
i had a dream about fucking… vampire discourse on tumblr like;
“reminder that blood sucker is a slur”
“vamp-born-vamps are valid if u got bitten later in life you’re not part of the vamp community”
“support vamps who drink human blood, support vamps who drink animal blood, support vamps who drink animal and human blood”
fantasy tumblr would be fucking insufferable
god can you even imagine
“If you only have two legs you’re human-passing and don’t belong in the fantasy community”
“What about satyrs?’
“You can wear shoes”
“Just a reminder that if you appropriate mermaid culture you’re a piece of shit”
“Actually we don’t mind because a lot of our culture comes from humans”
“Shapeshifters aren’t valid because they can be human if they want”
Oh my god it gets worse and worse
Listen Sweaty :) :) :) Bigfoots and Jersey Devils aren’t REAL mythfolk :) :) You r just confuused humans :)))
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
ONLY 👏FAIRIES 👏CAN 👏MAKE 👏FAIRY 👏RINGS
Why the FUCK did no one tag me in this
Werewolves are still werewolves no matter what form they’re in. We don’t stop being werewolves when we’re in human form, we don’t stop being werewolves when we’re in wolf form. Stop werewolf erasure!
Listen, I’ve been in a committed relationship with a selkie for over ten years. I can tell you that whole hiding-the-pelt-thing is total bullshit. If he wanted to leave he could, I am not holding him hostage. Please, stop spreading this hurtful misinformation.
Support veelas who dance naked at the crossroads
Support veelas who seduce random townspeople
Support veelas who take shepherds as lovers
STOP SLUT SHAMING VEELAS!!!!!!!
friendly reminder that “ghost” is a term reserved for noncorporeals. if you’re semicorporeal you’re a poltergeist. stop calling poltergeists ghosts.
destroy the idea that zombies “need” to eat brains
some zombies can’t eat brains due to physical conditions that make them too weak to gnaw through the skull
some zombies can’t digest them
some zombies just don’t like the taste
all of these zombies are STILL VALID
DONT 👏 HOARD 👏 ITEMS 👏 UNLESS 👏 YOU 👏 A 👏 DRAGON
This post gets worse every time I see it
OhmyGOD
LET👏SHIFTERS👏INTO👏THE👏COMMUNITY👏👏👏👏 THIS INCLUDES ALL SHIFTERS!👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty
hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty
hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty
hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty
hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty
hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty
DONT👏WEAR👏FLOWER👏CROWNS👏UNLESS👏YOU👏ARE👏A👏WOODLAND👏CREATURE
stop calling demons evil just because they defied an oppressive system
demigods have a right to both halves of their heritage!
Support dragons that don’t breathe fire.
Support lesbian Sirens!
Support bisexual Sirens!
Support asexual Sirens!
Support pansexual Sirens!
Stop assuming Sirens are straight!
Nephilim are not evil monsters. We cannot help but look this way. One of our parents were angels, okay? I don’t pretend to understand. I am BORN THIS WAY.
I took my meds too close to bedtime again and I need you all to know the dream I had last night involved Robin Williams becoming the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Not, a character portrayed by Robin Williams, just Robin Williams as himself running around Hogwarts doing wandless magic and being as loud and big as possible because and I quote before I forget:
“Listen, children, I’m not saying all this bad shit that is happening isn’t scary and you shouldn’t be concerned–because you should!–but I’m telling you this now for free. Life is a boggart, it’s the biggest boggart of them all. You never know what it’s going to look like one moment to the next. And sometimes you just gotta laugh. It’s okay to laugh. It’s part of the grieving process. You need to grieve before you can heal. But it’s okay to laugh while you’re doing it.”
I didn’t wake up right after that, some more stuff happened in a hazy sort of way as the dream began to dissolve into conciousness, but I remember him yelling Expecto Patronum as he punched a Death Eater in the face. Because sometimes, evidently, you have to make your own happy memories.
Incredibles/Incredibles 2
Holy fuck she knew
Wait…wait a minute, wait a minute, I just realized something!!!
What if she did know?
Think about it, Helen goes in to talk to Edna but Edna has already prepared a series of supersuits that are perfectly designed for every situation she and the kids are going to be in. And for some reason, we’ve all just accepted that, yeah, she’s Edna Mode, she would know these things, she’s just like that.
But what if we’ve all been missing something right in front of us?
We know Edna has affiliations with the government agency and has obviously been making suits for decades. Do you think the government is just going to get a random fashion designer to make these suits? Absolutely not.
They’re going to get a Super.
What if Edna is a Super with the power of future-vision?
That’s how she knows exactly what suit to make, that’s how she knows that the kids are going to be in danger, that’s how she’s so aware of everything going on around her and catches everyone off guard.
She never looks back; she looks forward.
(Sorry for hijacking your post, OP.)
which is why the whole cape thing hit so hard. she didnt see it coming
I love the idea of a Super whose power is to amazingly see into the future and she just uses it for fashion design.
types of girls: jacket edition
flannel: works hard to achieve their dreams, is anxious but appears easy-going, sunflowers, bike rides at dawn, treating people with respect, horse-riding, carnivals
denim: photography, trying your best even if you’re not perfect, paint-splattered fingers, heart emojis, sketchbook doodles, poetry, procrastination, head full of dreams
leather: doesn’t take shit, red lipstick, noticing underappreciated things, very emotional but scared to let it show, perfectionist, shoulder to cry on, feminist, nails painted black, creativity in unexpected places
hoodie: sad love songs, overthinking, thousands of books in their room, posters of movie stars, undecided future, moving far away from their home, pastel blue, quivering lips
blazer: seems confident but is actually very insecure, girls-support-girls mentality, proving people wrong, breaking rules if they think they’re unfair, standing up for the little guy, blushing when they think nobody’s looking
cardigan: writer, probably does ballet, good grades, hardly ever procrastinates, polyglot, puppies, using manners to people who are used to being treated like dirt, soft smiles, shy but friendly, feeling like you want to say something but not knowing how
