Exorbitantly Absorbent

good intentions bad ideas

[it-appears-that-bruno-has-deact]

[creature-crow-deactivated202512]

brb trying this

[hyenangel-deactivated20241224]

[blue-the-flyingpyrochef]

[swarnpert]

[orcboxer]

[karrakazz]

i think i just had a regular human experience

[karrakazz]

like it has to be the amulet

[ask-crammaster-ham]

[wizard0rb]

[oicuperp]

hoffman's car

[magical-missiles]

@i-identify-guns-in-posts

this one's a doozy

[i-identify-guns-in-posts]

Springfield Armory XD-M

HK USP

Desert Eagle

1911 derivative (specific model unknown)

SIG P229 Elite

Beretta 92FS

Diamondback DB9

Ruger P-Series pistol

Kel-Tec PMR30

Ruger 22/45

Unidentified revolver, likely Smith & Wesson

Unidentified revolver, likely Smith & Wesson

Unidentified (revolver?)

[maykitz]

you forgot to identify the pink one

[grenade-maid]

11. Is a Ruger GP100, based on the scalloped section behind the cylinder and wooden insert in the synthetic grip

12. Is a S&W Model 10 based on the proportion of the size of the cylinder to the trigger guard, fixed notch rear sight, narrow hammer, and small grips that do not fill the upper portion of the frame behind the trigger guard

[maykitz]

you forgot to identify the pink one

[pixelizedprince]

Adam & Eve Silicone G-Gasm Rabbit based on the curved vibrating tip, dual motors, 7 vibration modes, and fully waterproof pink silicone casing

[derrida-simp]

@identifying-cars-in-posts what's the car tho

[identifying-cars-in-posts]

2011-2014 Ford F-150

[24fish]

[elle-eedee]

[squareallworthy]

[pastel-papercut]

[blackle-mori]

[oneheadtoanother]

[oneheadtoanother]

The number of people responding to this post claiming to be bodhisattvas is hilarious. If you'd resolved your karma you wouldn't be on tumblr.

[averyterrible]

A warlord asked his teacher, a great monk, what he would do in his next lifetime.

“Oh,” he said, “I think I will spend a few lifetimes on Tumblr, most likely.”

The warlord was astonished. “Your merit and virtue are renowned far and wide!” he responded. “Why on earth would you be condemned to Tumblr?”

“If I did not post on Tumblr,” his teacher responded, “who would be your mutual?”

[comfy-whumpee]

Tumblr Live? More like Tumblr Dead !

[daughter-of-sapph0]

[i-am-a-fish]

hey,

you're so pretty. don't worry about stuff.

you're great, enjoy the rest of your day/night

[forcekenobi]

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

[forcekenobi]

sorry. only semi-related but i simply wasn't ready for "the sun is a distant gorilla". thank you NASA

[hyperchaotix]

[animentality]

[coffeelakes-deactivated20240117]

[vendetta06]

Do you guys remember this, literally what was it for? it feels like a fever dream because there’s no explanation

[captain-price-officially]

I vividly remember this because I got an alert on my phone that a clown was spotted close to university campus

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

someone reported you on your way to class?? 😧

[captain-price-officially]

[frownyalfred]

I love how all of the Batman villains are like “ah he’s not at the manor, it’s defenseless! and then alfred just racks an AK-47 and is like pull up bitch

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Batman’s Villains: The butler will be easy prey!

He’s just an old man…he doesn’t have any of the Batman’s gadgets or training or fighting skills!

Alfred: Oh my you’re right

There’s something else of Master Bruce’s I don’t have as well

(Cocks a shotgun) A CODE AGAINST KILLING

[welshronin]

Batman’s Villains: Wayne isn’t here to save you old man!

Alfred:

[dragonpuppies]

Alfred is the original “Call an ambulance — but not for me”

[frownyalfred]

@dragonpuppies I spent way too long on this

[qwertyu858]

[trader-j0e]

[a-boy-too-weird]

Bruce: I have a code.

Alfred: And I have a gun.

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Bruce: time to remove the guns.

Alfred: good fucking luck.

[frankenmouse]

I’ve peer reviewed @ebonyheartnet’s addition and found that it deserves a reblog.

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

been repeating this in my head all day

[borange]

honest to god fill my uterus with these, how many will fit? how many until its noticeable? lets make a game out of it! get them big ass balls into me

[02nd]

hi

[2urban2fantasy-deactivated20241]

You should all be beaten like piñatas

[benihana-circumcision]

dont do that bro the fucking boba r gonna shoot out

[thickness-protection-program]

You are microwave safe. You are dishwasher safe. You will not turn orange after one use. You will not deform under boiling water.

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]