Do I Really Need a Title?

[anarchetypalarchive]

so i’m currently working at a law firm and the other day one of the attorneys was talking to me and he mentioned that he’s “not very confrontational” and i was like you are?? a lawyer???

and he said “yeah but in court there are rules. i can argue with some shmuck in a suit in front of a judge no problem, but when i leave the courthouse and go home i’m not gonna argue with my wife about dinner. there are no rules in our kitchen. i would die.”

[martymartinloki]

there are no rules in our kitchen.  i would die.

[gluten-free-pussy]

My Uber driver is blasting Dancing Queen and the whole car smells like weed

[susiethemoderator]

5 Stars

[yermemeblog]

When you’re a duck and have places to be, but safety is key

[pikaglove]

I literally saw a goose do a similar thing while I was on the highway going to work

[tall-kiwi-nerd]

Omg

[cerix-the-gray-prince]

They are learning

[counterpunches]

#respectful law abiding birds

[gif87a-com]

[gorgonsach]

stop!!! Don’t You Fucking See Him!!! FUCKJNG STOP

[gorgonsach]

[pancakeke]

Season 5, Episode 12 “Now Who’s the Dummy?”

[joosh-actual-deactivated2018092]

Power move

[11thsense]

A representation of my thought process at all times

[angelbabyspice]

this is literally how teenagers talk irl

[thesilencedmasses]

This literally sounds like a voice-acted recreation of a group chat

[note-a-bear]

My mom sent this to me and i’m howling

[note-a-bear]

I regret posting this so much

[all-comes-crashing]

me and my friends dancing to “mr. brightside” 

[it-mii]

If this ain’t me

[babyanimalgifs]

How are penguins not extinct?

[coffeepotsmokin-deactivated2018]

I am in tears omg

[dremoranightmares]

whoever timed the film to the music is fucking brilliant this is gorgeous and oh my god i know they’re made of a lot of fat/blubber but this gave me like seven heart attacks

[cheaphalloweencostume]

my life has gotten exponentially better since I abandoned the “I was once a kid in AP programs and now I’m a subpar to average adult like the rest of the rabble, boohoo, woe is me” mindset and wholeheartedly adopted the fact that I’m a big loud dumbass and I’m going to make it everyone’s problem

[a-singer-of-songs]

I just really like “I’m a big loud dumbass and I’m going to make it everyone’s problem”

[avoidantproblem]

over-explaining everything because you’re scared of not making sense or people thinking you’re stupid

[wildwood-faun]

the thrilling sequel: under-explaining everything because you’re afraid of being seen as a rambling mess

[princeheathen]

the stunning conclusion: wildly varying between both based off the most recent way you’ve fucked up 

[de-la-poussey-deactivated201812]

things my parents never discussed with me

Save 10% of each check and put it into your savings. Living paycheck to paycheck will never keep you ahead of the game.

If you’re undecided about a career, pickup a trade or work your way up the ladder at your job. Do not continue to work in the same position for more than 2-3 years.

Seek therapy for your issues instead of self medicating with casual sex or drugs, venting to your friends constantly, becoming antisocial or co-dependant on someone. It’s not healthy.

If you’re not receiving the same energy you put into a friendship or relationship, leave. You are not a doormat.

*feel free to share*

[hallucin8]

Dirty talk but you both use your customer service voice

[lo-kaia]

Thanks I hate it

[fifty-shadesofgay]

partner: *cums*

me: great! will you be needing anything else today?

[mjalti]

listen, when i go to open my mouth & what comes out is 12 degrees of seperation from what the original topic was, u need to connect the dots bitch. think fast. i’m not gonna hold ur hand but we’re leaving now and visiting every topic along the line. wave it goodbye, don’t get hung up on it

[itsbetterthananal]

you know. avril lavigne really made it seem like skaters were oppressed

[ithotyouknew2-deactivated201710]

“seem?”

[laxu]

“Were”?

[yourrescuemission]

[confusedvillager]

gays are too much. i hate us

[andre-30008]

this reporter had absolutely no clue how to respond to any of that 😂

[thenatsdorf]

View this post on Instagram

“I’m gonna nap right here next to you.”

[woodmeat]

Dead me and my wife

[westafricanbaby]

AWWWWWWWWW