Untitled @not-karl-marx - Tumblr Blog

Guy who likes music

So when YOU sew a bunch of unmatched parts together, it is “a quilt” and “a beautiful gift” and “will assuredly become a family heirloom” but when I sew a bunch of unmatched parts together it is “A MONSTER” and “AN ABOMINATION, AN AFFRONT TO THE GODS” and goes on “A MURDEROUS KILLING SPREE.”

scienceandfandoms

They should put literally any conceivable fighter into Smash Ultimate. I’m talkin Batman. I’m talkin Indiana Jones. I’m talkin Gandalf the Grey, and his echo fighter Gandalf the White. I’m talkin Monty Python and the Holy Grail’s Black Knight. And Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi the Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader. Lo Pan, Superman, EVERY SINGLE Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

sarcastic-and-witty-username

My friends got me the best (and worst) present ever

It’s one of those sequin pillows where you can turn the sequins. And this is how they look like from both sides.

Please someone make it stop.

Nic Cage is haunting me in my dreams now.

I mean, it was a free pillow but AT WHAT COST!!!!

bumblebeebats

mousetrapreplica

sneakyfeets

my wife’s so cute because we both love animals so much but her way is very pure and genuine whereas my family is:

me, holding up my cat: stinky

wife: no!! don’t be mean!!!

me, swaying him back and forth in the air: stinky bastard man

wife: No!!!!!!!!

my mother, not looking up from chopping veggies: naughty boy. brat cat

wife, distraught: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sneakyfeets

In case anyone doubted the validity of my claims:

beatlesweatles

The wife:

The mom:

ameliaglitter

I saw this and thought of @fleamontpotter.

justicewitch

OP HOW CAN YOU NOT ADD THE BEST PART OF THIS TWEET THREAD

indirispeaks

shimmersing

Adfsf afadwgs @cipherr

totobyafrica

uglyloki

made a playlist to ask out my crush :/ what’d y’all think?

edit: why do so many of u want a link lmao

raptorific

action movie about a guy who pretends to be a hitman and does the whole “25% up front and the rest when the job is done” thing but then just keeps the down payment, doesn’t kill anybody, and stops responding to the client’s calls, knowing that they can’t sue him for breach of contract without confessing to trying to hire a hitman. problem is now a lot of people who are comfortable with the concept of paying someone to kill someone else are mad at him

orestian-deactivated20180120

none of his former clients know his real identity, due to him using a fresh fake for each con, so he decides that his only hope of making it out of this mess unscathed is to land the inevitable contract for his own assassination and fake his own death. thus begins his deadly race against the clock and against other actual bounty hunters, former clients, and a smoldering ex lover, whom he must betray, persuade or kill. darknet: the catfish bounty