Monterey Bay Aquarium

tannertan36

oozey mess
art blog(derogatory)
đȘŒ

Kiana Khansmith

#extradirty
todays bird
h
hello vonnie
Not today Justin
đ
taylor price
Phantogram Three
occasionally subtle

izzy's playlists!
Noah Kahan

Love Begins

romaâ
d e v o n

seen from Germany

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@not-quite-jasmine
good night to robert pattinson in long hair only
Story behind the long hair was that he wanted to look like a princess, so the hair dresser gave him long, golden locks of hair
he wanted to play a princess.
I appreciate how thatâs phrased as if âbullying timothee chalametâ is the main reason for an actor to accept a role
@smallshrimphell
finally some good fucking news
at last itâs happening lesbians
Oh JESUS that picture of Sue should be illegal
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
Donât you dare have a soggy bottom
on the topic of humans being the intergalactic âhold my beerâ species: imagine an alien stepping onto a human starship and seeing a space roombaâą with a knife duct taped onto it, just wandering around the ship
it doesnât have any special intelligence. itâs just a normal space roomba. there are other space roombas on the ship and they donât have knives. itâs just this one. knife space roomba has full clearance to every room in the ship. occasionally crew members will be talking and then suddenly swear and clutch their ankle. knife space roomba putters off, leaving them to their mild stab wounds.
âwhat is the point?â asks the alien as another crew member casually steps over the knife-wielding robot. âis it to test your speed and agility?â
âno it doesnât really go that fast,â replies the captain.
âdoes it teach you to stay ever-vigilant?â
âI mean I guess so but thatâs more of a side effect.â
âdoes it weed out the weak? does it protect you from invaders? do repeated stabbings let your species heal more quickly in the future?â
âit doesnât stab very hard, it gets us more than it gets our enemies, and no, but that sounds cool â someone write that down.â
âbut then what is its purpose?â
âI donât know,â the captain says, leaning down to give the space roomba an affectionate pat. âit just seemed coolâ
this is the dumbest idea Iâve ever heard but I thought about it for five seconds and realized that if I were, say, a random communications officer onboard this ship and someone taped a knife to a roomba it would take maybe three weeks before even I was inordinately fond of Stabby. I would be proud of Stabby when I met up with my other spacefleet friends for space coffee, I would tell them about the time Stabby got the second mate in the ankle five seconds before the fleet admiral beamed on board and she swore in seven different languages in front of high command.Â
also by the fourth day Stabby would be in the shipâs log, heâd have little painted-on insignia, people would salute him as he went by, and someone would hook up a twitter account to tweet maniacal laughter and/or a truly terrible knock-knock joke every time he managed to nick someone.
Omg so the ting I typed up might actually happen this is gold
I am suddenly astonished that Stabby isnât Farscape canon. 1812 was weird enough.
Stabbyâs little charging dock would start accruing cuddly toys and commemorative holo-vids of Stabbyâs greatest stabs. Its insignia would start off at a fairly low rank, but soon, without anyone every discussing it, everyone would know that Stabby got to take the rank of the highest ranking crew member it stabbed. The ceremony for Flag Admiral Stabby was beautiful. The captain gave a speech.Â
why am i proud of stabby this is irrational
INCIDENT LOG: 46-7-2 Action #45437: Desc: Covert enemy boarding attempt
Details: Six (6) members of a Mercenary/Pirate crew of little renown attempted to infiltrate ship in order to steal equipment and/or personnel.
Prior to being detained they had remained undetected for eight (8) hours and accumulated several high value materials (see attached log), and incapacitated and restrained several crewmen (see attached log) in dock #3, with the intention of using a life boat to exfiltrate.
Just prior to their would-be escape, the boarding party encountered the shipâs mascot. A cleaning unit which had been modified by crew members to mount a traditional Terran melee weapon, as well as an officerâs insignia (having been jokingly given a commission by the Captain the night before). Curious, one picked it up, before realising the mounted weapon had a nickel finish (highly toxic to their species) on the handle, and dropped it in a panic.
As the unitâs anti-impact sensors had been disabled, it immediately tried to right itself on landing. This caused it to flip over and slash the third knee of the boarder who dropped it, prompting the rest of the boarders to flee. In doing so, they tripped over a waste container, causing the unit to âchaseâ them, as it collected the trail of dust they left.
The security crew were alerted to the boarding partyâs presence by an entry on âSargent Stabbyâs Hit Listâ - an account on an intership microblogging site which automatically logs any injuries caused by the cleaning unit in question - and quickly intercepted them.
Casualties: Four (4) crewmen treated for minor lacerations sustained after detaining boarding party, one (1) captured crewman treated for negative reaction to sedatives used by captors.
Belligerent status: Two (2) members of the enemy boarding party remain in stable condition in sickbay. Three (3) remaining surrendered peacefully and remain in the brig. One (1) refuses to leave the safety of a storage cupboard he went to ground in.
Recommendations/Actions:
All captured guards to undergo debriefing and possible disciplinary action for breaches of security protocol.
Remind all crew members to report missing colleagues immediately.
Retain a guard outside cleaning storage room 87 until the final boarder can be coaxed out and properly detained.
Cleaning unit D4.87 AKA âSargent Stabbyâ has been promoted to Quartermaster, and is now considered the superior officer of all autonomous drones on the ship. All Class #1 drones have been programmed to salute their superior with their effector, should it enter the room while theyâre active.
Ok but what about that final bit - all the other space roombas respectfully standing to the side and saluting when Quatermaster Stabby comes past?
Quartermaster Stabby goes on to have many more adventures and many more promotions.
Quartermaster Stabby becomes a famous icon of the human race, proof that humans can and often are unintentionally terrifying, but maybe there actually IS something to their strange attachments to inanimate objects�
Aliens are now convinced that humans have some weird psychic/aura powers or something. âObject Tamersâ they call us. Humans are so amused that they adopt the term for themselves. They love it. They start printing it on bracelets and T-shirts. Aliens canât tell if this is a joke or a confession.
Through a disturbing number of coincidences like the above, aliens begin to fear Quartermaster Stabby and are legitimately unsure if it has intelligence or not. It doesnât help that humans refuse to break the joke to explain it to them.
Alien scientists try to explain the strange phenomenon that is Quartermaster Stabby. They cannot. Humans are delighted.
Quartermaster Stabby is eventually promoted to a position of authority over all autonomous drones in the entire human empire. It also escaped the ship once and managed to become the mayor of a small alien city. That city has since begun using the fact as a tourist attraction, and the episode has brought to human attention the fact that Mayor Stabby technically fulfills all of the criteria necessary to become a president or council member. (Minus the sentience.)
Humans are now trying to vote Mayor Stabby into office, using the aliensâ inability to determine its sentience level to their advantage.
They are successful. Counselor Stabby is most universally beloved representative of the human race. (Among humans, anyway. The aliens have mixed reactions, ranging from amusement, to fear, to outrage.)
Counselor Stabby goes on to somehow reveal a corrupt plot among several other counsel members and essentially averts a huge political catastrophe, all because one of the spies dropped her earring and Counselor Stabby ate it. The earring was bugged. Good call, Counselor Stabby.
Every time Counselor Stabby breaks down and has to be repaired, trillions of humans flood its social media accounts with âget wellâ messages, and many flowers and gifts are sent to the repair bay or to its charging station.
Counselor Stabby has somehow blundered its way into receiving all of the highest honors that can be bestowed by human society. It helps run an empire. It saves lives. It cleans donut crumbs off of the floor without being asked.
All without a single sentient thought.
Counselor Stabby becomes legend.
The humans have started a campaign to use Counselor Stabby as a model to create better bots.Â
âWhy does a humanâs consideration for a âbetter botâ mean more knives, sir?â the young ambassador said, staring at the contraption in front of him.Â
â we are unsure of their purpose, we have many reports of these creations protecting their home ships. â The advisor said also staring at the contraptions many spinning blades.Â
The residing human walked into the room squealing, quite to loud for the ambassadorâs taste, at the contraption.Â
â Arenât you just a spinning bundle of death! â The human cried out happily? (The ambassador was still unsure of humans deployment of emotions.) The delivery droid, with knife blades above its propellors, bobbed up and down before depositing itâs âgiftâ (as the human called it) and leaving through the bot-hatch with a frightening scream accompanying it.
Thes humans, they were, well, humans. The ambassador would need to read more on their culture to even remotely understand them.Â
**STABBY**
*buzzes happily*
Thereâs one (1) think in Disneyâs Mulan that irks me. The jaw line. Mulanâs jaw line is drawn differently when sheâs acting as Ping. No kidding: this is her âregular, Fa Mulanâ face. In this version her jaw is even highlighted by the makeup. Look how round is it.
and this is her Ping jaw. Square. Totally square.
WHY????? Isnât consistency in the character base shapes like, an important thing??
Not to mention how she immediately regains her long lashes as soon as she is exposed. With her round jaw obviously.
?????Â
That feel when youâre Asian and your father with a bad leg was about to be sent off to surely die in a war for your great empire so you squared up both metaphorically and physically.
itâs on the fricking vhs cover
this has bothered me since 1999
Why do you have to come for Mulan like this
Itâs called contour sweetie
Deleted Leia sass from The Empire Strikes Back
Leia, you were scheduled for execution.
when youâre so stubborn, youâd literally rather die than admit you needed help
Some other gems from the source article
lkhfosdhagoids IMAGINE
I HAVEÂ
UPDATED
THE THINGÂ
my mom is totally obsessed w cottagecore & country lolita right now and she keeps sending me pictures of things shes making me đ
is your mom even real
i told her all the nice things people have been saying and this was her response to your comment
needless to say, i cant breathe
clear your calendar
GUYS. SHE FINISHED IT.
ITS SO GOOD.
Johnny learning new information about Alexis
jewish people:
gentiles: time to make these guys' whole existence political
All PadmĂ© Amidalaâs costumes:
Because Padmé is the only fashion icon we need.
The Phantom Menace:
1. The âNegotiations with the Separatistsâ Dress:
2. The âQueen will not Approveâ Outfit:
3. The âSpace is Coldâ Dress:
4. The âThatâs Something I Cannot Doâ Dress:
5. The âVote of No Confidenceâ Dress:
6. The âIâve Decided to Go Back to Nabooâ Dress:
7. The âI Welcome your Helpâ Dress:
8. The âIâm Queen Amidalaâ Outfit:
9. The âPeace Victoryâ Dress:
Attack of the Clones:
10. The âCordĂ©â Outfit:
11. The âDo you Have any Idea whoâs Behind this Attack?â Dress:
12. The Coruscant White Nightgown:
13. The âRoyal Senatorâ Dress:
14. The âI Donât Like this Idea of Hidingâ Dress:
15. The âYouâve Changed So Muchâ Dress:
16. The âMeeting with the Queenâ Dress:
17. The âHeâs not my Boyfriendâ Dress:
A scene that never made it to final cut: Anakin and Padmé visit her family on Naboo.
18. The âI Love the Waterâ Dress:
19. The âYouâre Making Fun of Meâ Dress:
20. The âDinnerâ Dress:
21. The âWeâd Be Living a Lieâ Dress:
22. The âNightmareâ Nightgown:
23. The âTatooineâ Cloak:
24. The âGreek Goddessâ Outfit:
25. The âThere are Things No one Can Fixâ Dress:
26. The âIâm going to save Obi-Wanâ Outfit:Â
27. The âSecret Weddingâ Dress:
Revenge of the Sith:
28. The Poster Dress:
This look never made it to the final cut of âRevenge of the Sithâ and it was used for the poster only.Â
29. The âAni, Iâm pregnantâ Dress:
30. The âAni, I want to have our baby back home on Nabooâ Nightgown:
31. The âWe May Be on the Wrong Sideâ Dress:Â
32. The âIâm Not Going to Die in Childbirth, Aniâ Dress:
33. The âStaring out the Windowâ Dress:
34. The âAttack on the Jedi Templeâ Nightgown:
35. The âThis is How Liberty Diesâ Dress:
36. The âI donât Believe Youâ Dress:
37. The âAnakin, Youâre Breaking my Heartâ Outfit:
38. The âFuneralâ Dress:
These are works of art.
Say what you want about the prequels but they knew how to use aesthetics to give the impression of a living world and how to use gorgeous clothes.
godddddddddddd i want all of these
Aziraphale has a snake habitat lil setup in his bookshop but it's frequently empty and his customers are frequently 1) confused and 2) worried there's a snake loose in the shop.
Crowley is minding the shop for a moment and a customer asks him where the snake went. Crowley says, "Oh, he likes to get up and walk around sometimes." This helps nothing.
Zira loves the help scaring off customers
DONâT HIDE THE BEST BIT IN THE TAGS
another Unforgivable omission from the hunger games movie is when they announce âoops jk there can only be 1 winner good luck!â and katniss immediately, instinctively draws her bow and points it at peeta to kill him, before realizing what shes doing, and who he is, and that she could never/would never want to do that! and then he tells her to do it anyway bc 1 of them has to win! but she WONT so he rips off his tourniquet so heâll bleed to death and she can win and go home. and she drops to her knees and tries to stop the bleeding and cover his wound and BEGS him not to dieâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠyeahâŠthey fucked up
OH MY GOD..and the entire scene where katniss wakes up on the ship after theyve rescued them from the arena was not in the movie AT ALL. when katniss watches them operating on peeta and she pounds on the glass and SCREAMS at them bc she thinks theyre still in the games and theyre hurting peeta. and then she backs away from the glass and sees a rabid feral animal girl in the reflection and realizes that its herâŠ..and that line where she always wondered why the family members of a dying person stay to watch them and ânow she knows. its because you have no choiceâ that is RAW that is LOVE and they left it all OUT
This books were incredibly deep and had complex emotions, an were also easy to read
I wish there were more books like this
can we take a moment to just think about how incredibly scary magical healing is in-context?
You get your insides ripped open but your friend waves his hands and your flesh just pulls back together, agony and evisceration pulling back to a âkinda hurtsâ level of pain and youâre physically whole, with the 100% expectation that youâll get back up and keep fighting whatever it was that struck you down the first time.
You break your arm after falling somewhere and after youâre healed instead of looking for âanother way aroundâ everybody just looks at you and goes âokay try againâ.
Youâve been fighting for hours, youâre hungry, thirsty, bleeding, crying from exhaustion, and a hand-wave happens and only two of those things go away. youâre still hungry, youâre still weak from thirst, but the handwave means you have âno excuseâ to stop.
You act out aggressively maybe punch a wall or gnash your teeth or hit your head on something and itâs hand-waved because itâs âsuch a small injury you probably canât even feel it anymoreâ but the point was that you felt it at all?
Your pain literally means nothing because as long as youâre not bleeding youâre not injured, right? Here drink this potion and who cares about the emotional exhaustion of that butchered village, why are you so reserved in camp donât you think itâs fun retelling that time you fell through a burning building and with a hand-wave you got back up again and ran out with those two kids and their dog?Â
Older warriors who get a shiver around magic-users not because of the whole âfireballâ thing but the âI donât know what a normal pain tolerance is anymoreâ effect of too much healing. Permanent paralysis and loss of sensation in limbs is pretty much a given in the later years of any fighterâs life. Did I have a stroke or did the mage just heal too hard and now this side of my face doesnât work? No iâm not dead from the dragonâs claws but I canât even bend my torso anymore because of how the scar tissue grew out of me like a vine.
Magical healing is great and keeps casualties down.
But man.
That stuff is scary.
shit just got creepy
Or maybe magical healing doesnât leave scars or damage. It is magical, after all.
So after years of fighting, your skin is still perfect. Unmarred. In fact, youâre actually in better shape than regular people who donât get magical healing when they fall out of trees or walk into doors or cut themselves while cooking dinner. Youâre in such good shape that itâs unnatural.
And the really good healing magic takes away more than just the obvious injuries. You first start noticing it after about ten years when you go home and haha, you look the same age as your younger sibling, thatâs funny.
Not so funny ten years later when they look older. Or forty years later, when you bury them still looking like you did at twenty. When do you retire from this gig anyway? How much damage is too much damage?
How many times do you glimpse the afterlife, or worse, how many times donât you? What do you live through, get used to, show no outward sign of except a perfectly healthy body, too perfect for any person living a real life.
How many times are you sitting in a tavern with your friends and you hear the whispers, because the people around you know. How can they not know? Your weapons shine with enchantments and your armour is better than the best money can buy and there is not a damn scar on you. You hardly seem human to them.
How long before you hardly seem human to yourself?
And you find yourself struggling to remember the places where the scars should have been, phantom pains that wake you screaming, touching all the old injuries and finding nothing there. Itâs all in your head. Was it ever anywhere else?
How long before youâre fighting a lich or a vampire or some other undead monster and you wonderâŠ
âŠwhat makes me so different?