i'm so tired

|| 25 || bi || she/her || bae is life || Wait... what? || more nonsense can be found in the super handy faq lol ||

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Just realised that whenever I see the phrase "I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole" I automatically think of a ten metre pole. Like a comically long pole. A ten foot pole isn't all that long. That's slightly less than two of my body lengths. Not touching something with a ten foot pole still lets you get pretty close to it actually.

[exit-pursued-by-spiders]

Ten foot pole: a spear

Ten meter pole: the center post of a big top circus tent

[apagenaroaceafuckingdisgrace]

Ten foot pole: a soldier who wants it outside of stabbing distance

Ten meter pole: a clown who wants it out his fucking circus

[poetrylesbian]

obviously dietary requirements aren't a joke but my grandma sometimes runs errands for her church and i asked her what she's up to today and she said extremely seriously "ive got to track down the body of the gluten free christ, julia"

[ritavonbees]

this totally scans for a swear intensifier btw. what in the gluten free christ is going on here, Julia

[bunnyfood]

“My wife’s horse has a problem with flies bothering his leg wound so she harnessed her Doctoral degree and fashioned him jean suspenders…”

(Source: Ben Voytas)

[icedsilver]

Jorse

[ihasafandom]

finally, an answer to how a horse would wear jeans

[wizardpostsdotorg]

so hard to explain your personal inside jokes but. okay so every time i roll a joint i’m like hmm how much is left in the tray.. about a joints worth..

and then i get caught up thinking about a weed butler named jointsworth

[wizardpostsdotorg]

thank you jointsworth

[curseworm]

actually i never experience negative consequences due to procrastination. i am occasionally blighted by god for unknowable reasons though

[commiegoth]

I just found out VLC media player lets you do this????

[gauntletqueen]

It works in motion too!! Took me half an hour asdgfsadfghas

[infininoodle]

[stealthy-npc-deactivated2024010]

People that litter should be penalized way more than people that shoplift from major corporations imo.

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

Apparently my stepdad and I are fucking psychically linked because ?? every single time he makes chili for dinner I get a migraine. Without fail. And it became like a ha ha running joke because it happened so many times but now I’m living 3 hours away from my parents and I just texted my mom and

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

Happy disability pride month

[lohboh]

I got an extension called DeArrow that replaces Youtube thumbnails/titles with crowdsourced ones to make them less clickbaity and obnoxious. If there isn't one available I set it to just grab a random frame and remove ALL CAPS!!!.

Here's some comparisons (Original on the left, DeArrow on the right):

[lohboh]

Night and fucking day on Linus Tech Tips....

[spatialheather]

might add this to my roster of youtube mods along with the "remove ytshorts from my existance" one

[eternal-dannation]

there is also the inverse, an extension called mrbeastify that adds youtuber mr beast to all the thumbnails

[felix-the-lemon-king]

best advice i ever got as a writer was to pick a hobby that i hated more than writing and stick with it. i’m a runner now and it’s miserable and i Hate It and writing is so lovely in comparison. bonus: i’m in excellent shape and running gives you a lot of time to think about writing. i’ve solved a lot of plot complications while running.

This is such funny advice. Writing is so excruciating, you gotta take up Self Torture so that writing feels like a fun little break 😭

[felix-the-lemon-king]

Are you struggling with being a writer? Well Have You Tried Poison Testing As A Hobby,

[inloveforevr-deactivated2025041]

[unicorrrrrn]

A QUEEN

[funnytwittertweets]

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

hey that's the dude who made the yo-yo man instructional video

[notajerusalemcricket-deactivate]

Did you just know this

[professorsparklepants]

I’ve made this post like six times but it still fucks me up the China’s mountains just look like that. Like I spent decades thinking it was stylistic but no, they just have different mountains over there.

[professorsparklepants]

For reference, here’s what my local mountains look like:

Here’s the general art style Chinese mountains are drawn in:

And here’s how some of them actually look:

[dreamsequencer]

What the FUCK

[adelicateculturecell]

I’m specifically reblogging this here because I know there is a geological reason for this and I know at least one of you has to know it.

[tharkflark1]

thank you 

[memecucker]

[hungwy]

[homunculus-argument]

"Quivering" is my least-favourite word in the english language. Nothing and nobody should be quivering. If you're quivering right now, stop that shit immediately. Tremble or shake if you must but the quivering has to stop.

[camembertlythere]

[finally-figured-it-out]

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

[finally-figured-it-out]

There once was a man from Verdun

[genteelblackhole42]

There once was a man from the sticks Whose limericks stopped at line six. They were fine till line five Then they took quite a dive — But the problem is easy to fix If you just ignore the last line, it doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I've really lost control of this thing I'm so sorry...

[shredsandpatches]

There once was a man

From Cork who got limericks

And haiku confused.

[ruckuscauser]

There once was a man from the sticks

Who liked to compose limericks

But he failed at the sport

Because he wrote them too short

[rat-girl-big-tits]

@limerickshere

[fremedon]

There once was a fellow named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He replied, "Yes, I know-- It's because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."