A description of a dream I had last night:
It started with my friend and I sitting in a place where quite a few people were walking around. The building sort of looked like a wide open, above-ground parking garage, except that it was a bit taller than a normal one (but not by much), and somewhat less dark and dank.
The first thing I noticed was that I was wearing something that reminded me of the uniform I had to wear when I worked at the movie theater in my hometown during the last year or so of high school. I also noticed that my lips felt gross, like I’d done some sort of physical work and hadn’t drunk any water since then.
And then, a cliché happened. A girl came up to me, rather hastily, and said ‘Kiss me, right now.’ It was like she needed to make someone else think that she was with somebody, e.g. me. My first response was something like ‘Uh, my lips are pretty gross right now,’ not because I didn’t want to kiss her, but as a warning. She said ‘It doesn’t matter,’ obviously wanting to fool whoever the other person was. So we kissed, and that happened for a few seconds. My lips felt progressively less ‘gross’ as we kissed. And just as soon as she had come up, she left.
I’ll stop here to say that I would describe the girl as ‘cute’, but not overly attractive. She had blonde hair that was shorter than shoulder-length, dark rimmed glasses (but not hipster-thick), and I think a long-sleeved, red (possible fuzzy-ish?) shirt.
Then, I was suddenly in a classroom (the parking garage may have been something like the campus of a school, or an actual school, from which the classroom was accessible). The girl was in the classroom as well. While I think our positions in the classroom moved around a bit throughout this part of the dream, let’s say that we were both two or three rows back, and she was sitting in the desk to the left of me.
The teacher was talking about something that I think was interesting, and there was even a class discussion about it. I wish I could remember the conversation that took place at this point. I don’t remember much of what happened in the classroom, except for a bit involving the girl. Somehow, the question of ‘are we going to be together/get to know each other’ came up, though I’m not sure how that idea followed from our first interaction.
Anyway, at some point in this portion of the dream, the kid sitting behind her (I say ‘kid’ because he seemed to be a bit younger than us) asked her if she wanted to go out with him, or something similar. She said no, but in a way that made us, the girl and me, laugh with each other at the situation. For some reason, it was then immediately clear to me that my chances of getting to ‘go’ with her, as Donnie Darko would say, were much greater. I could see a sort of meter in my head that measured the chance I’d go out with her, and it was ~80/90% full. Even in the dream, I stopped at this point and thought ‘Wait…why is it so obvious to me that I have such a high chance with her based on what just happened?...’.
Then I had a thought. This thought is very similar to the types of thoughts I have in real life regarding these types of situations. The thought was along the lines of: ‘I can’t/don’t want to be with anyone, because my worldview makes me too miserable and incompatible to the point where I don’t feel like that would ever work well with a girl.’ However, I decided to just give this a chance, if there was one.
So then I was walking out of the ‘school’, by myself. While walking out, I was wondering where the girl was, uncertain as to whether or not she had beaten me out of the building. I made my way to the top of this vehicle analogous to a bus, though with a few distinct differences: it was white, not yellow, and had three levels; the top level was uncovered, i.e. open to the outside, while the bottom two were ‘inside’ of the vehicle; the bus operated over this dark ravine, which was a seemingly never-ending darkness.
I made my way to the top level of the bus. I looked down to the ground, not seeing her at first, just as the bus had started to leave (traveling slowly but surely). Then, I saw her running for the bus. She was looking up, smiling, and we made eye contact. I smiled back, I think. In the direction she was running, there was a broken set of stairs that led into the darkness below. The fifth or so step was broken, and under that was just blackness. She wasn’t paying attention to where she was going, and she didn’t stop.
As she fell, I could picture her surprised and frightened reaction. It was as though I could see her face long after she'd already fallen. Three or so girls from the class ran up to the stairs after she had fallen, sort of freaking out about their fallen adversary.
And, for the rest of the dream, I simultaneously felt emotion and indifference. When she first fell, I felt myself reaching out for her; I also felt myself just standing there. Then, I couldn’t tell if I was crying, or just looking into the darkness. I went down onto the second level of the bus. Overall, I didn’t feel too ‘beat up’ about it. But, on some level, I felt I was.