answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation
scam caller: hello, how are you today?
me: great!
scam caller: good. I’m calling because your IP address has been compromised. I’ll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up.
me: okay! there is one thing I’m wondering, though
scam caller: what?
me: you really couldn’t think of a better lie?
scam caller:
me: like, my “IP address has been compromised.” How, exactly, does an IP address become “compromised”?
scam caller:
me: I was just wondering, is all
scam caller: why did you answer?
me:
me: what?
scam caller: if you knew this wasn’t a legitimate call, then why did you answer?
me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense.
scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me.
me: well, you’re currently not accomplishing your goal
scam caller: my goal?
me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You’re not accomplishing that. I’d call that an expense.
scam caller: well, can I scam you?
me:
me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?
scam caller: yes. can I scam you?
me, baffled: sure, you can try
scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer
me: yeah, that’s still a problem. I’m eating tater tots right now and I really don’t feel like getting up.
scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning, then.
me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely won’t.
scam caller: You answered today.
me: …touché?
scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good day.
Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K
This reads like a bit from a British sketch comedy.
I had a flatmate at uni who claimed somebody called him on the landline we never used to say that there was a “problem with your motherboard”. He said something to the effect of “look, stop wasting your time. I know this is a scam” and hung up.
They called him again, said “your mother’s a scam” and hung up themselves.
