Long Live the King or Whatever

Dagonet was here 🎉

[the-quasar-hero]

Yes, you and I are knights on the same quest. Yes, we are from different kingdoms. Yes, just a short while ago we would’ve tried to kill each other on sight but now our quest calls for us to put the past aside and work to a brighter future. Yes, we will learn we have more in common than we ever did apart. Yes, we will experience the cool breezes of a clear summer night, with the only the stars and the moon watching us. No, we will not have sex. Yes, we will seek triumph in our quest, and the world will be better for it. No, we still won’t have sex after.

[neenarchive]

'not dishwasher safe' don't care i'm crazy. i'd put the holy grail in that thing

[behold-a-knave]

They keep stroking my armour lasciviously and asking to see my 'other' sword

I don't have TIME I'm literally on a QUEST

[proteinmom]

the most problematic maiden at the joust

[northirish]

Who will take up arms with me? Who will clash steel upon steel, sunder walls and put nations to the sword with me? We'll get McDonald's afterwards

[knightclubbing]

my lord may i be dismissed? i would like to go into the dungeon and scream until i lose my voice

[confirmed-and-contorted]

slamming your knights visor down when you’re finished talking to them, like slamming the phone back on the receiver.

[sca-nerd]

[transtessbian]

[blackvelvetofnight]

[sluttily rests my wrist on the pommel of my sword] hi

[memeclassheroes]

[knightclubbing]

worry not my lord, allow me to unscrew that jar for you. i would not want for you to strain your hand or break a nail. alright. hmm. HMMMM. HNNNGRGHHHHHH. HNNGGHHHH HRRRRRGHHH. AAAAAARGHHHHHHH fucking. squire fetch me my grippy gloves

[putridcowboy]

(me as an augur in 22 BCE rome, looking at the entrails of a chicken) hmm it looks like the future is full of guts and bones. fucked up and weird.

[byjove]

my knight dismissed me as his squire for shrieking “DIVA DOWN!” when he was unhorsed on the battlefield

[blackvelvetofnight]

[sluttily rests my wrist on the pommel of my sword] hi

[gawain-the-tax-evader]

Cursed amulet this, cursed sword that. I don’t need a curse to tell me to kill people. That’s what my maiden is for. #mymaiden

[gawain-the-tax-evader]

“Plate armor is dumb” “it’s heavy and loud and expensive” “you need a squire to take it off and put it on” shut up, I look sexy as hell in this

[defectivegembrain]

Cuck chair? No this is the director's chair. Cut! Where is the passion, guys? Try thinking of me