Has cute pronouns according to anon.

Rocking that Starbucks sexuality, ze/hir

[anticurses]

literally what is up with this

[themaveriqueagenda]

shoutout to nonbinary people who are deemed complicated or confusing. shoutout to nonbinary people who have 5 names. shoutout to nonbinary people who go by neopronouns. shoutout to xenogender people. shoutout to nonbinary people who use gendered terms for themselves but allow no one else to. shoutout to nonbinary people who go by different pronouns every day. shoutout to multigender people. shoutout to transmascs who were amab. shoutout to transfems who were afab. shoutout to nonbinary people who are neither cis nor trans. shoutout to nonbinary people who have pronouns that only certain people are allowed to use. shoutout to nonbinary people who are known by different names to different people. shoutout to outherine people. shoutout to transmascfems. shoutout to nonbinary people who are both cis and trans. shoutout to nonbinary people who don't care about making sense to others. shoutout to nonbinary people who actively want to confuse people.

[12b6]

judge: counsel

me: yes

judge: what did we say about singing in the courtroom

me: dont do it

judge: right

me: but your honor

judge: no

me: if you SUBPOENA COLADA

[badmadwolf]

Me: AND YOU’VE BEEN CAUGHT AND ARRAIGNED

Judge: I’m holding you in contempt of court

[12b6]

I’m crying tears of joy

[thelawfulchaotic]

Me: AND YOU’RE GETTING ARRESTED, YOU’RE BEING DETAINED

Judge: Bailiff, please

[holdmecloseandfast]

@hellenhighwater

[hellenhighwater]

I can’t just sit here with this graphic design BFA and this juris doctor and do nothing:

[dduane]

Art breaks out so unexpectedly sometimes… :)

[assaultmystic]

a quirk of sexting while british is switching from arse to ass. i would never fuck someone in the arse. its impolite.

[evilneo]

[mtfautoandrophile]

it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

[catsuggest]

[gatheringkeepsakes]

I’ve seen this post easily 12 times now and EVERY TIME it’s just a different cat looking at a different door. 

[starsandsupernovae]

"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need better friends

[starsandsupernovae]

"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need to be better friends

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[ashenmind]

[hardcorewhimsy]

Reddit u/mynameisfreddit 's fish, as seen on @ashenmind 's blog with @lefttobloom 's tag caption

[stah-l]

nightpenguins

(based off of nighthawks by edward hopper)

[bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190]

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

[tuesdayisfordancing]

I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody: 

zeug·ma ˈzo͞oɡmə/

noun

a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses (e.g.,John and his license expired last week ) or to two others of which it semantically suits only one (e.g., with weeping eyes and hearts ).

ISN’T THAT AWESOME??

[professorsparklepants]

#in english class in high school my teacher had us write our own zeugmas in class#and one guy came up with ‘he fell from her favor… and the window’#i am forever looking for opportunities to use that one

[siesiegirl]

She dropped her dress and inhibitions at the door.

[crumbvulet]

What’s this? My favorite rhetorical device showing up on my dashboard?

[thranduilland]

IT HAS A NAMEEEE!! OH MY GOD!!!

[candiikismet]

I LOVE THIIIIIS!!!

[orriculum]

One I’ve loved was “on their weekend trip they caught three fish and a cold”

I love these they’re like a pun and a metaphor wrapped up into one neat phrase

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[a-healthy-dose-of-apathy]

i think my love for the “died and came back wrong” trope in media is that it feels like a very accurate representation of severe trauma where you are alive now, but you died once and you came back and you came back so different that you aren’t anymore. you’re something else.

[girldraki]

[girldraki]

[taliabhattwrites]

Tumblr users will say "queer history" and mean "midcentury archival records from a specific US-American city that I have extrapolated into a universal mythos" and not even blink

[taliabhattwrites]

"learn your queer history" I am from fucking INDIA

[taliabhattwrites]

Maybe your queer elders fictional or otherwise were also influenced by the biases and contradictions of their own circumstances, time and place, and I am no more beholden to their ideas and ways of doing things than I am to any other form of tradition trying to constrain me.

Perhaps history is a conversation and not an edict.

[taliabhattwrites]

I fucking snortled

[bones-arent-real]

It is genuinely so infuriating that Wikipedia's official policy is to misgender anyone who uses neopronouns

[lauxesa2]

hey so this is actually a huge problem. one of the largest, most influential information databases on the internet does not respect nonbinary people’s identities enough to annoy their non-left audience. we need to be louder about this.

[tpwrtrmnky]

Analyzing the politics of a work that's meant to be apolitical is actually a really interesting exercise because it asks you to critically examine what the creator considers to be "political" in the first place. Which ideas are just How Things Are, and which ones are Political, and how is that influenced by the creator's beliefs?

[takashi0]

Usually this just ends up with you looking like a moron btw

[tpwrtrmnky]

Angrily lashing out at the suggestion that it's possible to do basic media analysis was foundational to the ragebait ecosystem of the 2010s, from which we got basically the entire culture of modern far right politics, btw.

[iteh3xael]

I genuinely believe myself and others are being so sincere and literal when we say TOUCH GRASS

[tpwrtrmnky]

I went outside and got an education, that's where I learned that you can obtain knowledge and insight through analytical methods, then noticed that some people who sit on the internet yelling at strangers get really mad about that constantly.

[pensivegladiola]

Don’t make me point to the Omar Sakar poem

[manuciruja]

[ryan-sometimes]

Working an office job will truly make you have the wildest enemies, bc why is my nemesis rn a woman I’ve never met and who exclusively haunts me by sending diabolical emails, and also a specific guy who left my company before I even worked here and made the system so fuckass that it ruined procedures for like a year

[ryan-sometimes]

Yesterday my nemesis (woman I’ve never met and whose face I’ve never seen) sent my office an email so rude, basically saying we had fucked up every project she ever ordered from us, one of the worst emails I’ve ever read in my life.

And it pissed me off so badly that I spent the ENTIRE WORK DAY today compiling evidence from every project my team has ever done for her, pulling past emails she’d sent us, putting together an entire case proving that she had been the problem all along. That she got projects mixed up, that she’d made requests that were nonsensical, literally everything you could possibly imagine. Screenshots of emails, reports we’d submitted, EVERYTHING.

This woman in particular has been terrorizing my team for years, her name is almost a slur in my office, I had simply had ENOUGH of her.

I put all of this evidence together and sent it to all of my bosses at 4:30pm. Then I took a long break to eat a sweet treat and drink some tea.

After my break, my bosses all called in an emergency meeting with me and they said they read my report and fucking loved it. And I sat on a teams call with my boss’ boss as she wrote my nemesis the scathing email I had always fantasized about sending, using the evidence I’d compiled, and hit send.

It was the most satisfying workday I’ve had since I got hired.

[winnie-wine]