tali

writer | dancer | star wars | panromantic | ace | hiking | plants | tea

[angel-fruitcake]

[fandomlockedfan]

[notallmensheviks]

The DMV Reviewed Thousands of Hilarious Vanity Plate Applications Last Year. These Are Our Favorites

Inside the important job of keeping poop puns, dick jokes, and hate speech off California’s roadways

absolutely incredible journalism

[brucebocchi]

[doubleca5t]

California DMV says MILF rights

[blackgirlsreverything]

I need to print me out a list of everything they own so I don’t buy it when I go to the store

[smashthegiantkiller]

I gotchu, and anyone else who were curious:

[blackgirlsreverything]

Thank you!!

[maybe-itdoesntmatterr-deactivat]

Johnson & Johnson just needa go out of business at this point 💁🏽‍♀️

[jaeswavy]

J&J really got a chokehold on the entire industry. Them, Disney and the Kraft corporation. They definitely got bodies in the basement.

[symphonicseauxl]

.....*washes sunscreen off my face*

[f1rstperson]

Need everyone to know J and J was one of those groups that argued that talcum powder (which included aesbestos) wasn’t hurting anyone.

(If you’re sitting there like hey wasn’t talcum powder for babies?  yes it was. There was an entire litigation about them arguing that actually using talcum powder for babies which included asbestos wasn’t bad.If you’re sitting there going hey wow wouldn’t that include babies from decades ago who are now adults with sever cancer??? YUP YEAH YOUR’RE FUCKING CORRECT).

Like actually J&J should have gone out of business almost 30 years ago and its a god damn crime they still exist and can sell medicine now

[themintywitch]

J&J also has a class action lawsuit against them for their shampoo brand OGX which is arguing that many shampoos and conditioners from that brand contain formaldehyde, which causes cancer when exposed to water. Which is a vital step in showering. So I just changed shampoo brands entirely and will do my best to avoid J&J products because this is terrifying

[feministdeathparty]

Just a heads up, the specific recalled sunscreens are:

Neutrogena® Beach Defense® aerosol

Neutrogena® Cool Dry Sport aerosol

Neutrogena® Invisible Daily™ defense aerosol

Neutrogena® Ultra Sheer® aerosol

Aveeno® Protect + Refresh aerosol

Like, fuck Johnson & Johnson but for this specific recall these are the products to avoid, since I didn’t see it mentioned earlier in the post.

[plantwitch]

she’s distant! she’s incoherent! she’s sensitive! she uses escapism as a coping mechanism! she’s me!!!

[deactivated-this-account-deacti]

I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’ “Whatcha mean?” “You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “ And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’ Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE. I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.

[ruthfully]

Jill. Jill you are wonderful.

[lostwolfling]

no joke, this is such an important aspect of overcoming trauma. I mean the trauma of abusive parents, the trauma of broke ass parents who got toxic because of it, the trauma of capitalism. Like fuck it. Go to Wrestlemania. Build a shit ton of terrariums.

[judgingyourgrammar]

I took a stained glass class during the pandemic and now I have a hummingbird hanging in my kitchen window. And this year I’m finally getting chickens!!

[prismatic-bell]

This is literally why I have my Sailor Moon thermos.

[alarajrogers]

it doesn’t even have to be the trauma of bad parents. It can be the everyday human pain of “I lost my favorite toy when I was 12 and never found it again.” It can be the parents who loved you and fully sympathized with your desire to have the thing, but honey, we just don’t have the money right now. It can be the fact that you no longer live with your brother who’s highly allergic to dogs, so you can finally have the dog you always wanted that you always understood why you couldn’t get, and you accepted it, but it was still painful. It can be the Atari games or Nintendo games or Sega games that don’t exist anymore that you played in your childhood.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized – you don’t have to be suffering some great trauma, something unusual and particularly damaging, to feel pain. You don’t have to have lost your entire home in a hurricane to have lost something you truly valued and miss a lot. You don’t have to have had toxic parents to have been denied some things you wanted because they just didn’t have the money, or the resources, or the health.

Time is pain. Loss and disappointment are part of human existence. But you don’t have to try to justify why your specific loss or disappointment is especially bad to admit that it hurts and do something to rectify that hurt in some small way.

[ryan-sometimes]

The only high school heterosexual romance I want to see is jock girl x nerd boy sorry the other ones have been too overdone give me a super confident basketball player girl and a guy who's a little terrified of her

[ryan-sometimes]

Nerd boy: *is scrambling for books at his locker*

Basketball girl: *leans on the locker next to his like jocks do in high school movies*

[venusrrvelez]

Lemme guess: no other guy wants to go out with her because she’s too tall and, “intimidating.”

[ryan-sometimes]

Actually no all the basketball dudes think she's super cool but she wants the calculus loser

[shadowknight1224]

It would be hilarious if the movie opens on the nerd boy narrating "I have a crush on the most popular girl at school..." as he stares longingly in the middle of the hallway, then the camera pans around to show the popular girl isn't a cheerleader but instead she's a jacked jock and she's lifting a classmate up and down in the middle of a crowd with her fellow jocks (of all genders) cheering her on

[susiephone]

The camera pans over someone who only appears from the shoulder down, passing them over to focus on a petite blonde cheerleader. Nerd boy clears his throat.

"Jessica? No no no, she's nice but not my type. Also, she's gay. Go back."

The camera hesitantly moves focus off the cheddar and onto the person whose head isn't even in frame.

"There we go."

Cue the pan up to reveal a jacked 6'2'' queen.

"Perfect."

[chadlesbianjasontodd]

you ever think about how in star wars the four heroes that overthrew the tyrannical empire and inagurated a new government are the princess of a tragically destroyed planet, a wisecracking rogue, the last heir of a religious order of wizards who do actual literal magic, and.........a city mayor

[chadlesbianjasontodd]

i should clarify that im not disparaging lando here i'm just wondering what it's like to be in a space fantasy adventure as the ONE member of your friend group who knows what a zoning law is

[ekjohnston]

You can frequently see this in Lando's face.

[enigmaticpink]

Do you like enemies to lovers because it’s hot or do you like enemies to lovers because you think of yourself as unlovable & unworthy of love and therefore like the idea of someone seeing all the worst in you right away and still falling in love with you anyways

[gratatata-shalala]

[mamoru]

stop using hospitals as horror settings

[mamoru]

fun alternative: cruise ships. cruise ships exploit workers and can pollute as much as a million cars on a daily basis while dumping endless shit into the ocean and endangering all passengers on board because the on board air quality rivals some of the most polluted cities in the world while being a breeding ground for disease. cruise ships deserve to have negativity associated with them

[catparazzi]

also all crimes commited aboard a cruise ship is under the juristiction of whichever country they’re registered to once they’re a certain distance away from land so you have the added bonus of the crimes being very unlikely to be properly investigated (due to usually being physically so very far from the actual police whose juristiction they’re under)

[mamoru]

terrifying!

[xcekait]

On top of THAT cruise ships tend to have their own morgue, as people tend to die on ships all the time. Good for those spooky scenes.

[bananonbinary]

plus u can just like…leave a hospital. good luck escaping a killer or a monster or a curse or w/e in the middle of the fucking ocean

[sketchyfletch]

As an ex cruise ship employee, let me give you some stuff to work with!

Water tight doors! You get a special training video on interacting with these correctly because they will literally cut you in half if you try and go through them while they’re closing!

Freezer vaults for food in the sub decks - you can only get into these with the correct code and they have very thick walls. Good luck if you get shut in one of these just after the last round of checks bucko

There are cameras everywhere…except in the crew cabin corridors. Also there are no windows down there because unless you’re an officer, you live below the waterline. Day and night have no meaning because everything is in the same slightly unsettling yellow light.

Don’t piss off the guys who deal with the rubbish. They have machines down there that can crush metal barrels

As well as morgues, cruise ships usually have one basic operating theatre with all the attendant horrifying equipment in it

One cigarette thrown carelessly in the wrong place WILL start a fire that will gut half the ship.

When we’re pitching side to side, the anchor swings out and then back in, striking the metal outer shell with a noise that shakes half the ship

People disappear overboard more often than you’d really want to be a thing

A lot of cruise ships now have theatres on board (usually towards the front) with all the potential for dark corners, creepy costumes and electrical calamities you could want.

And as op says, you can’t really escape a ship in the middle of the ocean. Particularly during a storm, as then you can’t even evacuate to lifeboats unless the whole ship is going down. On the upside being on board during a storm means most guests hide in their cabins and the staff walk around like drunks, which would likely throw off a skilled murderer’s plans.

[shenaniginstigations]

Takes notes

You also have the bonus of a corporate overlord who doesn’t give a shit about anything but profits and can be reliably counted on to downplay any disaster in an attempt to avoid publicity.

[scoobydoomistakes]

How to Eat a Pineapple

Take notes, class.

[scoobydoomistakes]

You all made this show up in SDM’s activity feed again.

The fact that I can’t unsee it is your doing, you little buggers.

[alphacrone]

not a single person is allowed to tell me it’s ToO eArLy FoR hAlLoWeEn StUfF this year. i deserve this. we deserve this. now shut up and pass me that skeleton. 

[lemonsharks]

*passes that skeleton*

[thisiseverydayracism]

https://www.thedailybeast.com/state-department-to-lgbt-married-couples-your-out-of-wedlock-kids-arent-citizens

[thenerdyanthrohistorian]

Watch the white gays start to give a fuck now.

[roughstar]

First it was the Mexicans, legal citizens born here from immigrant parents, that were claimed as non citizens. Now it’s the children of gay parents. Don’t you see what’s happening? Disenfranchisement. Classic fascism. We’re heading towards a totalitarian regime folks. Trump is a white supremacist and him and his administration won’t stop until they’ve recreated Hitler’s Nazi Germany.

[injuries-in-dust]

Hitler didn’t start as histories greatest monster, or he wouldn’t have gained the power he got. It was only after he became too powerful to be removed that he revealed his true nature. You have to look for the warning signs and there are a lot of them with the Trump administration. Like, big red flags with glowing flares.

[misterdoctorironstrange]

The worst thing is that Hitler had to put some effort into gaining his power, while Trump has been waving his red flags as high as possible since the start and no one seems to care…

[immortalcheesewedge]

What. The. Fuck.

SPREAD. THIS. SHIT. NOW. DO. NOT. SCROLL. PAST. DO. NOT. SCROLL. PAST. DO. NOT. SCROLL. PAST. DO. NOT. SCROLL. PAST. LOOK. AT. THIS.  SPREAD. IT.

[sea-anon]

Ten steps to genocide (we are at number 8 now with the ‘detention centers’ by the way. Next step is literally extermination. Just thought y’all would like to know)

Also see poem “First they came”

I’ve been saying this since 2016. I hope you care now that it might affect you.

[saipng]

‘redemption arc’ this and ‘redemption arc’ that 

wheres an arc where the hero gets morally corrupted by a villain and switches sides and becomes an even bigger threat as a result

where is my bastardization arc

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

Negative character development WOOOOOO

[the-loveliest-lies]

[he-who-ships]

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

Seriously right?

[penny-anna]

star wars headcanon time:

- so mon mothma (based on the ep3 deleted scenes) knew Padme pretty well. and consequently TOTALLY clocked that she was pregnant. she knew. a bunch of senators knew. they never said anything because they respected her privacy.

- however padme was good at keeping her Secret Affairs under wraps so mon mothma had no idea who the father was. she never guessed it might be anakin bcos everyone knows Jedi don’t do stuff like that.

- padme dies suddenly & mysteriously. shortly thereafter bail organa and his wife announce that they’ve adopted a baby girl. 

- at the time mon mothma does not think much of this BUT later as leia gets older she begins to resemble padme more and more in both looks & personality and mon mothma is like. hmmm.

- so she draws the natural conclusion.

- padme was having an affair with bail organa! and when she died in childbirth bail quietly ‘adopted’ the baby to avoid the scandal.

- mon mothma elects not to say anything about this because it’s not really her business and also the past is the past and padme has been. dead for several years at this point and she doesn’t feel like opening that wound back up.

- instead she just, takes leia under her wing.

- anyway! later when a kid w the last name Skywalker who says his dad was a jedi shows up to join the rebellion she’s like. hm.

- she didn’t know anakin well but at the very least she knew OF him and they like, probably met

- so she figures anakin must have fathered a child while he was travelling the galaxy during the clone wars. she never really liked anakin so she’s just like ‘hm guess he was a deadbeat dad. can’t say I’m surprised.’

- she is not aware however that Anakin became Darth Vader so she doesn’t really feel the need to say anything to luke about this. as far as she’s aware luke already knows the truth about his parentage. at most she might be like ‘hey I knew your dad a bit, he was a good jedi & a war hero’.

- so as far as mon mothma is concerned, anakin skywalker’s son and padme amidala’s daughter are both fighting for the rebellion. the fact that they’re the same age is just kind of a coincidence. tatooine uses a different calendar from most planets so she never notices that they literally have the same birthday.

- anyway later Leia is like ‘so guess what! luke is my long-lost brother. isn’t that wild?’

- and mon mothma is like

………………….’PADME WAS BANGING ANAKIN SKYWALKER????’

(leia: not what I expected you to take from that but. yeah I guess she was.)

[penny-anna]

Mon Mothma: Leia I’m so sorry for that outburst, it was completely inappropriate. Anakin Skywalker was a good jedi and my personal dislike for him doesn’t make him any less of a hero-

Leia: he was Darth Vader.

Mon Mothma: ……….

Mon Mothma: MOTHERFUCKER-

Leia: yeah I’m not too happy about it either

[scoobycore]

god, imagine sharing a bed with the person you love. chatting about dumb things! just sleeping! it’s like a sleepover but every night how sweet is that!!!!

[undeadgirlboy]

gender is a game and i have the cheat codes

[undeadgirlboy]

we’re glitching through the walls baby!