noise dept.
EXPECTATIONS
Fai_Ryy
almost home
The Stonewall Inn
Sade Olutola
h
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
Love Begins
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
shark vs the universe
KIROKAZE
macklin celebrini has autism
pixel skylines
Mike Driver
No title available
$LAYYYTER
No title available
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Game of Thrones Daily
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@otteryhedgehog
Catastrophize Benedictine
Forgetful Ice Cream Sandwich
Executive Dysfunction Cake n’ Ice Cream
Unfocused Cereal
sensitive rice
Migraine Grits
Distraction Donut.
Leg-Jiggle M&Ms
Panic Cheese
Dread Tiffin
Anxious Bagel
Hyperalert Naan.
Insomnia smoothie.
Hypervigilant Pizza.
Exhausted Potato
Operation Bread Jesus is go.
Dough proofing in the oven, 90mins is enough time to watch a cheesy movie. I’m thinking an Godzilla.
Hey Gallus, since i feel like I’m late to the show, how big of a Bread Jesus are you making this unholy Easter-April Fool’s ?
…I’ll know when I take the dough out of the oven in an hour? I’ve never made Challah before and I’m not sure how much this will rise. But I have a slightly-smaller-than-average sized oven, so it’ll have to fit on a cookie sheet. Hence, Baby Bread Jesus.
Update: he’s beautiful. Also, I’ve made a serious tactical error in that I don’t know how I’m getting him on to the baking sheet.
Do you have something flat without raised edges? Put flour on it and carefully lift Baby Bread Jesus bit by bit up and slide the flat item underneath. Then you can just transfer him onto the baking sheet.
I got him on via the silicone baking sheet, and he’s in for the second coming proofing and already beginning to distort into a monstrosity. I love him.
That sounds awesome.
While he’s proofing, do you mind telling us, how you got the different colours of the dough? Different dough? Food colouring?
Is he filled with jelly?
The light color is regular Challah Dough, the darker color is the same but with a bit of molasses and cinnamon. I’ve done it before for other sweet doughs where I wanted a color change.
He’s not filled with Jelly becuase
1. I’m renting and don’t want to lose my damage deposit becuase there’s smuckers on the ceiling.
2. I try not to keep grape products in the house in general (the juice is a noted passover exception) because Mr. Charleston Chew thinks all things grape-related are delicious and Grapes are very, very toxic to dogs and I don’t want to have to put him in hospital for 3 days to pump his kidneys again.
Well, there’s definitely enough of him to go around?
HE HAS RISEN
SIGNIFICANTLY MORE THAN ANTICIPATED.
smells hella good tho. Candy googly eyes were a good choice too, I think.
I’m fucking cry laughing
*white parent voice* i cant believe kanye and kim named their baby North West!! thats ridiculous!! oh no, its almost 4:30, i need to pick up my kids Mackaylikiah and Ashleighyie from their water polo practice!
I always reblog this post so fucking fast every time it comes on my dash my phone shuts down the tumblr app and reboots
McKarty 64 is my favorite Mario Kart game.
My favorite part is that the blog post the photo was taken from detailed this mother’s decision-making process and chose this name because her husband saw it on a road sign on the way home
She named her daughter after a road sign
a road sign
there was a girl at my school called “zona” cause he parents went on holiday to spain and saw it and thought it was a nice name. IT LITERALLY MEANS ZONE
“47 month old”
this is my four year old rayman origins
“Who’s doing your surgery?”
“Dr. Rayman Origins.”
THE APP REBOOTED FOR ME!!
i met a kid once whose name was “Ryce” and his mum said it was pronounced “Reese”
the best part is she was originally going to spell it “Rice”
My auntie knows a family who decided to name their daughter Owen, but they spelled it “Oin” and they made her middle name the first sound that her big sister made which happened to be “Oogok”. her name is literally “Oin Oogok Puscus”
Oin Oogok Puscus is my favorite dwarf from the Hobbit
Yo I work at a rec center in a rich neighborhood and these are some real names of white children:
Salter Tryge (pronounced Trig) Loots Pocket Aughyst (pronounced August) Taileigh Lotiss Leviathin (yes spelled like that) Bacchus Daniyal (a girl, pronounced like Daniel)
All real
This shit is hilarious
@kaiiwooo
I can’t
47 month old.
Nayvie….. Bish whet????
this is from my kid’s valentine’s list this year like this corny fake unique name thing is no joke yall this is all of the boy names
47 month old.
I refuse to go on knowing someone named their child “Salter” I’m so done ✌🏿️
Treyton lls, I’m dying…
I know a person from college who’s name is literally “Smile”, l can’t even explain how ridiculous that is…
47 month old
47 month old
Damn suburban moms love to put unnecessary “Y’s” in names.
<b>47 month old<b/>
47 month old.
Somebody named their kid Pocket?!?!???
I am cry wheeze laughing at this post, and then when I got to the bottom I had apparently already hearted it at some point in its life?
Anyway, bless little Christopher’s parents. My god.
47 month old tho
One of the classes I subbed in had a kid named Glarison. I’m sorry, did you misspell Garrison?????
OMG IT IS BACK! I CAN FINALLY POST THE ASK I GOT ABPUT THIS!
I went to college and took religious studies courses with a girl named Storm Pagan. She never understood why I found that both funny and oddly appropriate, and I never felt like taking the time to explain.
for the love of your future children, look up what a name means in all languages before you saddle you kid with it until they’re old enough to legally change it.
I took latin in middle school. I don’t actually remember much now, but i’m telling you, it was IMPOSSIBLE to look this girl I knew in passing in the eye because her name was Latrina.
Latrina.
(For those of you who have no idea why this is unfortunate and hilarious, ‘latrina’ is one of the latin words for toilet)
What the fuck that even sounds like ‘Latrine’ like who looked at that name and went ‘what could possibly go wrong’
Kids I actually went to school with: Nipponia (Her parents were really enthusiastic about Japan and thought no one would know.) Foreverina Twins – Heavyn-Leigh and Eterni-Teigh Khayrliy (Carly) MyckEnziey (yes, spelled like that.) Every last one of them was white n blonde.
Naming your kids after gods seems like s BAD PLAN whether you believe in them or not. Especially Odin and Bacchus.
4 7 M O N T H O L D
I knew I pair of sisters named Chardonnae and Breane (nicknamed Brie). Fucking wine and cheese
Heavyn-Leigh and Eterni-Teigh ……. I???……what the fuck 😂😂😂
47 month old
Congrats to you for getting throught this post
Now I’m so fucking glad I’m named megan
This is why at the library I would make EVERYONE spell their name for me. Some white lady over 35: You want me to spell Linda Smith
Me: Lady, you don’t know my life. I have looked into the abyss.
Roman symbol of 8 and 47 year old.
i really wanna know what HR would think when they see a job application with names like these.. like does it influence their decision to call the applicant up for an interview?? like a really hard sounding name.. they probably might be discouraged but imagine seeing someone with a PHD and their name is Dr. Rayman Origins.. like i’d slam the call button
I know a girl named Whisper, and a girl named Mercedes.
Mercedes was named after the car she was CONCEIVED in
47 month old
I’m Gonna Be (500 miles) is honestly just such a pure, solid good song. The lyrics are cute af and actually resemble a long-term committed and happy relationship and to top it all off you can scream ‘DAHDADADA’ and the top of your lungs in a pub and someone will scream it back to you.
SCREAM ME THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE
Where you lead, I will follow… #GilmoreGirls
the real victim in Pride and Prejudice is Georgiana Darcy, bc u know her brother spent at least two weeks lying around in his Regency Jammies eating Benjamin and Jerrold’s out of ye olde carton feeling sorry for himself bc his crush not only didn’t like him back but tore him to shreds in the process and Georgie had to deal with that and then said crush shows up at their HOUSE and she has to live w both of them probably stealing lovelorn yearning glances at each other the whole damn day while knowing if she even SUGGESTS to her brother that maybe perhaps his crush doesn’t hate his entire guts anymore he’ll just be all tragic about it bc “you don’t KNOW her Georgiana she dESPISES me and i DESERVE it”
benjamin and jerrold’s
I couldn’t wait. I had to paint Martin in Cargo because both he and it look amazing.
#SLAY
YES MY GENERAL!
“reblog if you ever actually used a phone with a “rotary dial” on it”
— (via sixth-light)
Scotland’s got snow so our gritter fleet is out fighting the good fight.
Hahahahaha😂
tag yourself I’m Sprinkles
some other highlights:
FUCK YES
There’s ‘black comedy’ and then there’s M*A*S*H.
always reblog MASH, it deserves more on tumblr
seriously, MASH and the post-millennial mindset go together like two things that go Really Really Well together
Signs as Adam Rippon quotes
Aries - “Sometimes I might meet people and they might just not like me, not want to get to know me. And that’s okay. They’re boring as hell anyway.”
Taurus - “I’ve learned from every setback, proudly own up to my mistakes, grown from disappointments, and now I’m a glamazon bitch ready for the runway.”
Gemini - “I say I really like my slutty costumes. It’s, like, tongue in cheek. But I do, I really like my slutty costumes.”
Cancer - “The other day I was joking to one of my friends. He was like, ‘You’re kind of everywhere right now.’ I was like, ‘I know; I’m America’s sweetheart.’ He laughed in my face.”
Leo - “I can’t explain witchcraft. I just feel like I’m coming into my own. I’m confident in who I am and what I’m doing. I’m just having a great time.”
Virgo - “Nobody loves me as much as I love me; so I guess I’ll just be my own Valentine tomorrow.”
Libra - “I was recently asked in an interview what its like to be a gay athlete in sports. I said that it’s exactly like being a straight athlete. Lots of hard work but usually done with better eyebrows.”
Scorpio - "I’m like a witch and you can’t kill me. I keep coming back every year, and every year I get better.”
Sagittarius - “I’m going to go to Target, and I’m going to get a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc Oyster Bay with the twist top. Yeah. Uh-huh. Immediately. You can come right over. I live like 15 minutes from LAX and we can just have a day.“
Capricorn - “Maybe if this were my fifth Olympic Games, I’d say, ‘Oh, I wish it were like this, or like that.’ But honestly, at this point in my life, if they said, ‘Here’s your opening ceremony outfit,’ and then handed me a piece of rope and some broken sticks and a trash bag, I’d be like, ‘IT’S GORGEOUS. I’LL MAKE IT WORK.”
Aquarius - “I might not be the best, but I’m the most fun. I’m going to skate my heart out.”
Pisces - “With everything going on in the media about me this Valentine’s Day I don’t want people to get distracted and forget how beautiful I am (on the outside).”
i’m reading emma thompson’s diaries from the sense and sensibility filming for an essay and it’s very satisfying
Legend.
How To Tell If You Are In A Jane Austen Book
found on the-toast.net
• Someone disagreeable is trying to persuade you to take a trip to Bath.
• Your father is absolutely terrible with money. No one has ever told him this.
• All of your dresses look like nightgowns.
• Someone disagreeable tries to persuade you to join a game of cards.
• A woman who hates you is playing the pianoforte.
• A picnic has gone horribly wrong.
• A member of the armed forces has revealed himself to be morally deficient.
• You once took a walk with a cad.
• Everyone in the neighborhood, including your mother, has ranked you and your sisters in order of hotness. You know exactly where you fall on the list.
• You say something arch yet generous about another woman both younger and richer than you.
• You have one friend; he is thirty years old and does business with your father and you are going to marry him someday.
• You attempt to befriend someone slightly above or slightly below your social station and are soundly punished for it.
• A girl you have only just met tells you a secret, and you despise her for it.
• You have five hundred a year. From who? Five hundred what? No one knows. No one cares. You have it. It’s yours. Every year. All five hundred of it.
• There are three men in your life: one true love, one tempting but rakish acquaintance, and a third distant possibility — he is courteous and attentive but only slightly interested in you. He is almost certainly the cousin or good friend of your true love, and nothing will ever happen between you two.
• A woman who is not your mother treats you like her own daughter. Your actual mother is dead or ridiculous.
• You develop a resentment at a public dance.
• Someone you know has fallen ill. Not melodramatically ill, just interestingly so.
• A man proposes to you, then to another, lesser woman when you politely spurn him. This delights you to no end.
• A charming man attempts to flirt with you. This is terrible.
• You have become exceedingly ashamed of what your conduct has been.
• A shocking marriage of convenience takes place within your social circle two-thirds of the way in.
• A woman in an absurd hat is being an absolute bitch to you; there is nothing you can do about it.
• You are in a garden, and you are astonished.
@oakleaves
For a guy that once took a girl on the “cheapest date possible”, Jake Peralta’s romance game is strong
You know why it’s so strong? Because it’s about HER. Jake Peralta doesn’t buy flowers or chocolates or things that are generic. His gestures of love toward Amy are indicative of how well he knows her, and reflect his respect of the things she values and finds exciting, even if those things don’t excite him. He expresses his love by telling her that he sees her and knows her and loves who she really is.
