For many Asian children like myself, (me being Asian American) We all know that our relationship with our parents is tough love. An unconditional love that can't be described to those who may not understand - but a love that words literally can't express but be felt through the trusting process
Growing up we all know that asians dont really express love through the means of verbal exchange.
But Love is expressed through discipline and being fully fed.
Unlike many of my non asian friends, having a homemade lunch gave you the warm feeling of home - once eaten. Of course being the only asian with a packed lunch sometimes was a bit overwhelming to eat in front of PB&J eaters. (It's like I had to explain what noodles were and what was in it) I didn't fully appreciate my packed lunches till I went to college. In college, I met two asian friends of mine (One was thai & One was korean) both were never embarrassed- it was then that our home made lunches allowed us to fully embrace ourselves without having the feel of embarrassment. I then realised how my mom waking uo extra early to prepare my lunch so that I could save money & not starve. (I also enjoyed having cooked meal and not eat fast food grease all the time !)
Another way of being "Fully fed" is even when your parents lecture you - made you cry (bc you were wrong / did wrong) the way for the connection to be reconciled is through them telling you to eat even if your nose is runny and your eyes are filled with more water than lake michigan. It's a sense that they don't want you to feel so bad - but for you to understand what you did wrong.
Being disciplined is your parents teaching you the correct ways because they LOVE you.
They discipline you to correct your mistakes. Of course till now its hard to intake that your intuitions are wrong.
Discipline for an asian child can go 2 ways :
2 hour lecture why you were wrong
OR you get whooped (Belt,Slippers,Broom,Etc....)
My parents taught me many things that take a whole process and years to understand. I am forever thankful for their sacrifices for me and my siblings to have a bright future.
We weren't rich, we weren't misfortunate. But we were blessed in many ways.
My parents intentionally would give up buying themselves items and use the money to purchase what we wanted.
Till now they'd rather spare their last penny for us.
Nights of crying, feeling depressed, not knowing what could be the real purpose of my existence- my parents came and brought me out of the darkness, with overwhelming love & support.
They gave me hopes and goals to achieve while in school and supported me in decision making of my career.
To avoid such lengthy post, and to conclude my closing speech.
Recognize all their accomplishments of being your role model , your best friend , your chef , your instant nurse , but most importantly for them being your parent.
Who works hard , lacks sleep , will give up an extra bite for us - you are 110% much appreciated & loved. The world consists of billions of people but not one will ever compare how great you two are.
Sometimes, you just don't realize how blessed you are.
Thank you mom & dad - I ❤ u
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