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@phantomwriter1
I know everybodys talking about the article but its this tweet itself that makes me lose my shit
tinder link in bio.
the replies:
*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?
I’m sobbing
I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves
her pussy
OUTTA MY WAY IM BOUT TO GE- ouchie. Ouch. Ouchie.
get back here and share that with the class
that is so unsanitary too girlypop theres gotta be some gunk and maybe some glue flaking on those tips
Stole this from somewhere but i think it’s appropriate
reblog to send three ghosts after elon musk
Oh, no. Three ghosts per reblog! As of posting this reply, we’re at (checks notes) 75 ghosts and counting
well. um. lot more than 75, now
[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: #is three the limit? /End ID]
This post currently stands at 91,064 reblogs, including ours. That's 273,192 ghosts total. Which probably isn't enough. Let's keep this game going.
rn its at 95,822 which is uhhh a lot of ghosts
Not enough tho
elon musk currently has 289,443 ghosts. keep it going.
where are we getting all these ghosts?
They're the lives lost to the capitalism machine.
Incredibly fucking slow at it 🤧
i fixed it
Found at the Rag Machine in Vancouver, Canada.
Everyone in the notes forgetting about the concept of pregnancy you’re so valid never change
i forgot that too, i just though nice trans
it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,
soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,
c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,
hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使!okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼!🫢 那可不行哦🙅♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因,然后发现:诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒!😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃,一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒!但不给亲!🤨 怎么会这样昵? 🤷♀️ 原来,亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴! 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人,
we need to keep this circulating so it can find the people who are about to stay up for 3 to 4 hours
WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT
YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT
“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”
I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.
I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve
Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know
That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY
imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry”
“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”
Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?” “We.. we don’t know. Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned. She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.”
Iconic post
i could have a dick to fuck people and just switch stuff about it why wouldnt i press this mf buton?
“If it’s about a dad dating other dads, how come some of them have kids???”
everyone stop reblogging the chains that don’t include the trans flag challenge
Only day you can reblog this
Next time you can reblog will be on 26th January 2025
1,000 days left
Remember.
TumblrClan is no place for a fox-hearted Twittypet like Elon Musk.
she sounds so cool I hope she leaves him and has a great life with someone who appreciates her
queen shit
I am pleased to know they broke up tonight
we are!!!
How did you give yourself an EAR INFECTION eating pussy
im just gonna screenshot from a text i sent my friends after the doctors visit
you can’t fucking do this to me
Achievement Unlocked:
A Noble Sacrifice
Never has there been a more righteous and honorable way to get an ear infection.
omg
This has been in my queue for months.
I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
1,001 days left :3
When you remember the anti-vax movement
I first reblogged this in January, and here my ass is in March 2020 self-quarantined at home.
Ur right and u should say it
Reading this in 2021
Reading in 2026
Y'all, we as a community have got to get better at dodgeball if we’re gonna keep tempting fate like that.