phloolie @phloolie - Tumblr Blog

warner exec (on the phone): Hi, Gerard, me again. So we've crunched the numbers and ran your idea past our lawyers and insurance people. I'm sorry to say, but there's really no safe or cost effective way to burn you at the stake during the next tour.

humanaaa

Oh hi! Yeah I wanted to talk to you about something important-but don't worry. When we were leaving yesterday and we were saying bye to my mom, I noticed the background music changed for a bit. I couldn't help but notice- Why was it the romantic song. Why was the romantic song playing when you were talking to my mom. Don't lie to me I know this song I have been the third whell for the main couple for the last months, this show only had the budget for 1 big romance song and its the only one that plays. I know this song by heart. Why was the song playing. Are you trying to- Are you banging my mom.dude. Dude.

sgt-cookie-2

Me (A time traveler visiting 20-year old Mozart): OK, so, this is called an electric guitar, basically instead of the body functioning as a resonance chamber, it produces music by harnessing the power of lightning. Do you have any other questions?

Mozart (Currently shredding Violin Concerto No. 1 on the guitar, having figured it out within 30 seconds): What other music can be made from harnessed lightning?

Me (Loading up some heavy dubstep): Oh, we're just getting started.

sandmandaddy69

derinthescarletpescatarian

You're right but don't say it like that

trans-girl-nausicaa

drink more tea. no, like, a LOT of tea. drink it for the caffeine. If anyone in your life gets on your case about how much caffeine you’re intaking, start talking about antioxidants. they will have no response to that because nobody knows fucking anything about antioxidants. including you.

depsidase

doubletrea

Lollll Shes Screaming Cause The Shadow Of The Killer Has Been Cast Over Her

slopmaster9000

childaborting hips

northirish

I'm following blogs that haven't posted in like eight years but I don't care I shall never unfollow them because I am a true and loyal knight #loyalknight

i hate windows

my computer has been updating for an HOUR and it says 100% there :)

i hate windows

my program wouldnt open so i restarted it

and

#i hate windows #fuck windows 11

tax--payer

whats cool about going to the beach is that women will ask you to eat sand at least 8 times and you have to do it

3ofusjust3

kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy kill kill crush hit smash kill kill kill kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill hit smash kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill maim stab kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy kill kill crush hit smash kill kill kill kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill hit smash kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill maim stab kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy kill kill crush hit smash kill kill kill kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill hit smash kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill maim stab