clown of the year 2020

joan cusack enthusiast recovering from a crippling homestuck addiction

[kata4a]

Ye knowe eek, that in forme of speche is chaunge With-inne a thousand yeer, and wordes tho That hadden prys, now wonder nyce and straunge Us thinketh hem; and yet they spake hem so, And spedde as wel in love as men now do.

chaucer, Troilus and Criseyde c. 1380

[youzicha]

glossary: eek also and even tho at the time prys great value wonder a cause for astonishment nyce stupid spedde succeeded

You know the form of language, too, can change. Within a thousand years, even the words that were most precious then, seem strange and foolish to us; yet they spoke them so and did no worse in love than we now do.

[spelldealer]

cousins and coworkers are addicted to getting pregnant

[corrucyst]

dude, this is really scary, and liminal as well. It's like the bathrooms

[pjackk]

Ok but why are the suckers and losers trying to kill me today

[batshit-auspol]

Occasionally as an Australian you'll be talking to someone from overseas, and you'll discover a common phrase you took for granted is, in fact, not universally known outside of our country.

Turns out casually dropping "fuck me dead" into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.

The more you know.

[batshit-auspol]

Imagine being on a work call with an Aussie and they suddenly announce they're gonna blow a load in response to a problem.

[fred-the-dinosaur]

Not Aussie but I asked an American once if she was taking the piss ( i.e. pulling my leg, joking. Perfectly cromulent and friendly english expression)

and she got really upset because she thought I was threatening to piss ON her

[honiibbang]

This is killing me

[batshit-auspol]

Rifling through the tags, here's some other terms which are apparently causing mass carnage whenever they escape our borders:

Having a goon (i.e. Sipping on a delightful wine)

Having a gaytime (Eating an icecream)

Having a sticky beak (Investigating)

Take a squiz (To have a sticky beak)

Get stuffed (To express a revelation is most frightful)

Chuck a sickie (Take a day off work due to the humours being misaligned)

Chuck a wobbly (When one's temperament becomes visibly upset)

Carry on like a pork chop (Acting most silly indeed)

Thongs (flip flops)

Hot chook (Pre-cooked supermarket rotisserie chicken, otherwise known as the Bachelor's Handbag)

Fair suck of the sauce bottle (Let's be real)

Shits me to tears (Something is mildly annoying)

Not here to fuck spiders (Expressing a situation is serious)

Having a piss-up (A social gathering)

I'll shout you (offering to goon an old chum)

A cruisy place (a relaxed atmosphere, where one might shout and goon the night away while enjoying many a gaytime in your favourite thongs)

[buginateacup]

Some usamerican friends of mine recently learned the Aussie meaning of snail trail (the line of hair from the bellybutton heading south). They were horrified to say the least

[platetoucher]

just wanna say that americans do say “take the piss”, so whoever got upset abt that ig just. never heard the phrase. it wasn’t bc they were american

[pangur-and-grim]

two “cats” interacting

[fausphorus]

Got possessed in the middle of my work shift.

[estro-boi]

we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason

[estro-boi]

torrents work like this

i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3

unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it

i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map

i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs

this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.

crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.

please learn to torrent

[macleod]

How to Use Torrents (with Pictures) - wikiHow

An expert guide to get started using torrentsTorrents are one of the most popular forms of file sharing on the internet, accounting for over

always use qbittorrent, do not use bittorrent or utorrent.

[beholdingslut]

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[bigfoots-biggest-fan]

HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY

Visit Original Link

Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...

Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).

[punkrorschach]

happy first day of pride everyone

[gmailconstruct]

primordial soup

[hometoursandotherstuff]

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwydx34kzlvo

[runcibility]

"Vanderhorst had been under the influence of MDMA and three litres of vodka she had consumed on the night of the offence last September, her lawyer Michael Hill told the court."

three. liters.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

i support women's wrongs

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

[platetoucher]

how on earth would she survive 3 liters omg

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’ve started using chewing sticks to brush my teeth and tbh I’m surprised that zero waste people aren’t all over these things.

Chewing sticks are basically sticks from specific trees that you strip some of the bark off, chew to loosen up the inner fibers, and then brush your teeth with said fibers. You cut off the fibers every other day and strip off more bark so the sticks also force you to keep replacing your toothbrush a bit better than normal ones do because you’re literally whittling them down to nothing over time.

No toothpaste required because the sticks naturally have fluoride in them and being, you know, sticks, they’re biodegradable by nature. So no plastic from the toothpaste because there is no toothpaste and no plastic from the stick because it’s a stick.

Some brands sell them wrapped in plastic but you know, not all of them do that. And you can get a reusable container to put them in when you’re not using them.

But because zero waste people are super into finding complicated ways to reduce plastic usage I was surprised I’ve never heard of these things being discussed in the zero waste YouTube channels I’ve watched. They talk about like bamboo toothbrushes and refillable toothpaste and whatnot. Not chewing sticks.

I’m using them because I can just keep one in my pocket in its little container and they’re super stiff and my gums need strengthening according to my hygienist. (Note if you decide to use these things your gums might bleed the first few times because the fibers are so stiff)

I’m not really using them for environmental reasons but they seem like the sort of thing that extreme tree huggers would like. But no, the only people using chewing sticks seem to be me and people trying to make sure they don’t accidentally swallow toothpaste during Ramadan.

[sacred-portal]

[muttsandmustelidae]

just saw someone on this god forsaken website calling Mark Ruffalo a twink and i feel like i need to go lie down for a long time

[muttsandmustelidae]

i hate it here

[creekfiend]

wow in the time between the last time I looked at a photograph of mark ruffalo and looking at this photograph of mark ruffalo, he sure became infinitely more karl marx-looking

[kushblazer666]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i need to come up with a way to say “i mean like, movies for grownups” that doesn’t make me feel like a villain

[cheaphalloweencostume]

*peeks in the replies* *gets really nervous and locks my house up and leaves*

[chelonianmobile]

I don't think "movies for grownups" is a useful category anyway, it's far too broad. What do you want to watch movies about?

[cheaphalloweencostume]

sex, violence, curse words, taxes, day jobs, alcoholism, dating, murder, divorce, debt, dead-end retail jobs, weird little humiliations, chain smoking outside diners, bad landlords, chronic back pain, popping painkillers like tic tacs, getting ghosted, shitty apartments, grief, gambling addictions, funerals, office politics, sexual repression, bad tattoos, eviction notices, insomnia, emotional affairs, weird coworkers, long commutes, bankruptcy, custody battles, compulsive lying, stalking, body horror, ugly crying, layoffs, guilt, addiction recovery, moral compromise, black mold, road rage, nihilism, awkward funerals, disappointing sex, cohabitation, cults, labor strikes, failing marriages, religious trauma, tax fraud, pyramid schemes, jealousy, cigarettes for dinner, bad breakups, middle management, panic attacks, community theater, DUI checkpoints, unplanned pregnancies, messy love, manipulative love, missing persons, steaming wallpaper, prescription side effects, chronic loneliness, inheritance disputes, estranged siblings, and occasionally, if i’m feeling Whimsical, eating human meat

[smokinghorse]

just had a really good mango it was so good that i had to illustrate how it made me feel afterwards.

[stratfender]

op’s tags are so fucking important to me

[enjoylentgreen]

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[platetoucher]

“I wouldn’t worry about it” any time any one asks me anything about anything, usually stuff that should be worried about.