just heard someone from somewhere in the brain refer to masking as “cosplaying it singlet-style”

shark vs the universe

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@plurality-central
just heard someone from somewhere in the brain refer to masking as “cosplaying it singlet-style”
On switching, and being a host
A comic about something that happened a while ago,, I still feel guilty in a way that I was there that day.
I am a fully diagnosed DID system - I used to be anti-endo until a number of months ago when I had a startling realisation that made me reconsider everything:
Restricting the definition of who a label/concept can be applied to falls under the same philosophy that the systems that oppress the disabled fall under.
That is to say - restricting access so that imagined invaders and "appropriators" won't get in.
The endo "invaders" are not oppressors in any fashion. Hating them because our oppressors "won't take us seriously because of them" is joining the war on the side of the oppressors. It's only fighting ableism until the oppressors call out a target that's easy enough to punch down on.
We, as a community, can be better, more compassionate than that. Is this truly what being "radical" is? Stop punching down. For your own sake, too. Is this really the "good fight" you want to win? To remove all the "weirdos who don't belong?"
To my friends who still feel hurt, I understand. But the people you are fighting do not want to hurt you. They just want to understand their own individual human experience. If they are angry at us, they are not in the wrong. You know that rage, too, at being told that what you are is not real, or is impossible to take seriously.
You have been taught to value an idea of a "real" experience based in science. But that science is so limited. The DSM-5 is not a bible, it is written with the intent of treating us, making us more palatable, "worth our place in society". It is not something we should be thumping to ward off "impure" things. We do not need purity. We do not need sanctity. We need safety and community, so we need to build it.
If we view endos, willos, or any type of system as a pest, we will choke ourselves with pesticide to eradicate them. This is not kindness. This is not acceptance. It is cruelty.
Do not give in to the desire to punch down. It will kill you.
It's respectability politics frankly, and it's icky. (Hating endos, that is.)
Thank you for this post OP!
We wanted to do a piece that was based off a conversation some of us had some time ago. Sorry for any mistakes it’s very late at night right now and I really just wanted to be done with this one…
Comic we made about our syscovery omg
More under the cut
Plural inside jokes are THE MOST inside a joke can get, I think
How tf are you gonna be alterhuman but anti-endo. Like the human brain can feel like its a dog for no real reason but it cant feel like its multiple people? Be so fucking fr
If I hear one more traugenic system call an endo claiming plurality ableism, I’m gonna lose it. Mind you, we’re a traumagenic system. We’re also fucking disabled and use a mobility device (cane). An endo claiming plurality is not fucking ableism. Endo people coming into a plural space is not keeping you from getting good mental healthcare, is the fact that our medical healthcare system is actively built against helping disabled people. I know what ableism looks like, Cheryl.
guide to making your system a nicer/more functional place
(disclaimer: this is what works for us, but everyone is different and as such may have different needs)
⭐️ Punishments, isolation, and jailing do not work. Do not use them.
⭐️ Try to understand why your headmates do the things they do. Research where that behavior comes from, try to note triggers.
⭐️ Be conscientious of each others' triggers (front triggers and other triggers). Try to learn what they are. Never share them with outsiders.
⭐️ Don't try to internalize singlet-style relationship types. You will not fit neatly into boxes of siblings, friends, partners, coworkers, roommates, or lovers. You are headmates.
⭐️ Have individual headspaces AND a collective headspace if you can. You can have houses, doorways, statues, fucking trees, whatever, in a circle in your collective headspace representing your individual headspaces. This way you are all connected, but have your own spaces. Have a collective meeting space in the middle.
⭐️ Try to make sure everyone has a name. Even if it's just "The Blue One". Unless a headmate specifically requests not to have a name, of course.
⭐️ Headmates can communicate in all sorts of ways. Not just words, but images, emotions, internal and external body language. Be open to listen.
⭐️ When looking for a headmate's "age", you are really looking for: emotional maturity, ability to understand complex topics, ability to consent to sex, ability to cope with an adult life, food preferences, communication style, and headspace appearance. It is most often not a literal age.
⭐️ If roles aren't natural, don't seek them.
⭐️ Put clear, honest communication + understanding above rules and everything else.
❤️ Regarding romance: It is a societal construct. Highly likely not to fit your collective needs. Take from it what you want. If it doesn't serve you, let it go.
[This list is likely to be edited for updates]
being co-con is lowkey so funny to me. like yeah we’re doing a collab
States of Being
We were trying to explain to some friends earlier that saying "this person is in front" and "this person is co-conscious" isn't always the most useful phrasing for us because either of those terms can mean a lot of different things. We have our own words that we like to use to describe where folks can be in relation to our awareness.
The states on this chart are still a bit of a simplification, as we flow between them and it's more of a spectrum than a discrete set, but they're close enough to the actual language that we use to do the job.
can we like. honestly talk about how difficult it is to live as a system in a singlets' world. like as a separate thing from the challenges of dealing with trauma or internal conflicts like. specifically the pain of hiding your multiplicity from others.
i cannot go to work and say "hey guys, it's rogue today" and then just be rogue. i cannot say to my mom "hey, sophie wants you to pick up something from the store." i cannot say "hey, can you give me a second, i have to deal with something internally real quick" and then turn my attention in to the headspace.
our child alters cannot be children except online and around maybe 2 people irl. if a child alter fronts around our family or at work they have to just be an adult until an adult alter comes back.
we cannot use our own names. we cannot speak with our own voices. our loved ones do not know us. our distinct individualities and experiences of life are flattened down into the amalgamated person we are forced to pretend to be.
i implore singlets to just fucking think about if you could tolerate living that way.
Claiming that systems cannot and should not engage in any spiritual practice and/or religious belief is pluralphobia and ableist. Yes, if you are communicating with spirits and deities there is discernment needed but telling systems flat out that theyre not allowed to do so is very gross and weird :)
This is pluralphobia.
Its also very weird to immediately start lecturing someone completely unprompted on having said discernment when you find out theyre a system in spiritual spaces
Im not sure if this is pluralphobia or if its just weord and disrespectful but we used to know someone who was questioning plurality and we thought “someone i know and feel safe around may be plural? We should tell them that we have been suspecting plurality for YEARS” because we don’t really have anyone to talk to about this stuff.
When we told them they were visibly upset. Im so sorry but plurality isnt “your thing” its not something you can own. We wont go too much into detail but they were also jealous of us for experiencing black out amnesia??? Thats not a privilege?? It’s something that disabled us and prevented us from functioning. It’s something that held us back for the longest time.
Black out amnesia doesnt make us “more plural” or “more valid” and it’s definitely not a “gotcha” or a damn privilege 😒
This person has done insane damage to our mental health. We dont have a complex identity and existence for attention or wanting to be special, we just are. And i think it’s really weird to say “no, you cant be aroace, experience tertiary attraction, struggle with hypersexuality, be genderqueer, be intersex, have chronic pain, have an autoimmune disease, be depressed, anxious, have ocd, have adhd, possibly be autistic, have gone through crazy amounts of trauma that just doesnt seem real AND have DID with blackout switches, thats “too much”
This is pluralphobia.