Understanding is the first step to acceptance @pompelomelo - Tumblr Blog

yeah actually we removed the big bad wolf from the little red riding hood story because portraying violence against minors is really messed up. yeah. yeah also the wolf narrative was really predatory and had had some icky grooming vibes and a fable meant for literal children shouldn’t have implied p*do shit and grape so now little red riding hood goes into the woods and nothing happens and she goes to grandma’s house. don’t worry our kids will still stick to the path and know not to follow to wolves implicitly because we told them to and children should always do as their told. just like little red riding hood does now.

cordezshenanigans

I literally played The Wolf in the musical Into The Woods in college and one woman started saying weird shit about me because she thought I was playing the role "a little too well"

Luckily, the director was sane, and when he heard about that he pulled her aside and was like "girl he's supposed to play the role well. That's the fucking point"

And meanwhile, the girl who was playing Little Red was actually glad, even relieved, when she saw I was cast as The Wolf, because we knew each other and she felt safe with me and trusted that I wouldn't use the scene as an excuse to actually creep on her

All that to say, there really are people out there who will read Little Red Riding Hood, or even sign up to participate in an adaptation of the story, and go "ummm The Wolf is kind of problematic"

cannabutch

the cinematography….

tvandfilm

Only Murders in the Building (2021-present) Dirty Birds (S05E04)

#omitb #only murders in the building

queeranarchism

It's a real shame that online reply guys have made 'thought experiments' into a constant ordeal of 'would you let me say the n-word to save 5 black children?' bullshit, when actually, real thought experiments are important training tools to unlearn acting on bigotry, biased instincts and propaganda.

In life you're going to encounter ethical questions that you've never considered before or you'll find reasons to question ethical questions that you always thought that you knew the answer to. And when that happens, you have to be comfortable thinking the whole things thru from all angles, even though your gut instinct tells you to settle for the easy answer that makes you comfortable.

You have to be able to ask questions like 'but is anyone harmed by the thing that disgusts me?', 'is this about improving the world or just about punishment'?, 'what if my assumptions about why people do this thing are wrong'?

You have to be comfortable not being sure yet what your conclusion will be. You have to be comfortable exploring opinions that differ from what your friends think. Thought experiments teach you this.

If you don't get comfortable doing that, propagandists will trick you into accepting a comfortable answer based on your preconceived biases and whatever new biases they want to slip in there.

queeranarchism

I regret to announce that I need to actually explain to insufferable people in the notes why 'would you let me say the n-word to save 5 black children?' isn't a clever little thought experiment. Let's start with a little story:

I work the door at a feminist club sometimes. We've got a big sign at the door in bold letters reading "No touch of any kind without consent, you will be kicked out". When new guests show up, we point out the rule and ask them to confirm that they'll follow this rule.

Every night, there will be a few guys whose response to this is to immediately put a finger somewhere on my body, like my shoulder or my arm, and ask "not even this?". If those guys are allowed to enter the club, they ALWAYS end up groping people. Their response to a boundary that was put in place to prevent harm, is to immediately push it, test it, see if they can do a little bit of harm, see how much harm we will tolerate. That's what that finger and "not even this?" shows.

In this club, little innocent touches without prior consent definitely happen. It's loud and it can get crowded on the dance floor and around the bar. Shoulders touch, people tap each other on their arm to signal that they want to get through the crowd. No harm is done. But "No touch of any kind without consent" stays up at the door because its an effective filter to keep out the predatory guys.

Social conventions around the n-word are a lot like that. While it is technically true that the sound of the n-word does no harm on its own and it's the intent that makes a slur into a slur, to point that out is to misunderstand why the "don't say the n-word ever" social rule is there. It's a test, like our "No touch of any kind without consent" rule. People who see that rule and respond by pushing its boundaries are telling on themselves. They're showing that they want to explore how much harm we will tolerate.

So you're not particularly clever if you invent a thought experiment that shows that the n-word isn't a magic sound that does harm on it's own. We all knew that already and you're not cleverly exposing purity culture or dogmatic liberal behavior. You're just telling on yourself. The "don't say the n-word ever" social rule is a filter that exists to get people like you to tell on yourself.

queeranarchism

This also branched into a bigger thing about thought experiments: Thought experiments are NOT neutral lenses which reveal inevitable truths. They're artificial realities controlled by their creators, and as such they're extremely subjective.

Clever, insightful thought experiments have no clear answer and challenge us to examine all sides of an issue, to dig deeper until we get to a more complex nuanced understanding of moral issues.

Thought experiments whose only purpose is to create a scenario in which we must inevitably say the n-word, or we must torture someone to defuse a bomb, etc. are not insightful, they just reveal that their creator would really like to be alloed to say the n word / torture. They're blunt manipulations and we have every right to refuse to play that game.

perfides-subjekt

When John [McEnery] held a sword to my throat during the filming of The Spanish Chest, it was one of the few times when both Poirot and I felt truly frightened, for he made it so realistic that there was a moment when I almost convinced myself that he would actually plunge the blade into my throat. It shows on the screen.

(David Suchet on filming The Mystery of the Spanish Chest)

David Suchet, Poirot and Me

#agatha christie's poirot #hercule poirot #david suchet #agatha christie #poirot

debrides

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

lesbirdan

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

hermionegranger

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

thomrainierskies

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

mirab3lle

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

icouldwritebooks

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

crimeronan

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

agrestenoir

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

gin-and-eschatonic

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

harold-theyre-thespians

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

narwhalsarefalling

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

wren-likethe-bird

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

la-mancha-screwjob

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

fair-itself

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

maplefiasco

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

iamthatbeast

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

widonotts

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

artwlw

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

youlovelucie

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

spacecores

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

thebritishteapot

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

valkyrieritter

The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying “Would you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?” I said “Would you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?” And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like “tf are you doing?”

dhampir-dyke

I work at Hardees and we have to yell “thank you” whenever we’re told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.

One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,

“THANK YOU”

eyefriend-deactivated20181218

i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, “Bad boy! You need to wait!” needless to say i was very glad i was alone

mynameisdevon

I know I’ve reblogged this a billion times but I’ve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.

swimtonewyorkstate

I work with horses and whenever someone’s driving too fast I’ll say stuff like “whoa” and I’ve tried to click to a car because that’s a cue for a horse to go faster.

lady2828

It’s also fucking hilarious when lawyers meet judges outside court. Like you’ll just catch us standing up from our tables and bowing awkwardly at a random person who doesn’t look like a judge and then sitting back down and carrying on, like we’re all in some cult.

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

dduane

othercat2

The Thing Where You Randomly Say Scripted Phrases or Behaviors. (i’m not the only one who does this *sob*)

(via)

one time when I was a kid my parents were arguing while we were driving somewhere and I was in the backseat so I wrote "are you going to get a divorce" on my foot and slowly extended my leg betwixt the seats

loth-caatgirl

cheaphalloweencostume

i’m gonna say something that doesn’t feel good but you might need to hear it: bending over backwards being a people-pleaser, being conflict averse and not telling anyone your needs, and then being resentful and upset when your needs aren’t met is a You problem first

cheaphalloweencostume

not related but also just good advice: when you’re lowkey frustrated with someone and can’t quite figure out why their behavior is bothering you, i highly recommend examining if they have broken an imaginary rule or standard that you hold yourself to

#this #obviously not things like abuse or shit or like basic stuff

black classic tabby with low white spotting

#cat #funny

mothprincess

don’t forget that it’s your life. it’s not school’s life, it’s not work’s life, it’s not your family or your partner’s life—it’s perpetually your life, for better or worse. what do you want from this life? forget happy, what motivates you to live? why are you here?