it's a shame that Applebees doesn't sell bees

[transstuffandmore]

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

[bees-and-voids-deactivated20210]

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

[praisebagels]

Summoning haiku,

Let me summon haiku bot.

This a bad haiku.

[akashicrecord]

the lesbian computer from portal was right. given the circumstances ive been shockingly nice

[ivy-connivy]

insane like/reblog parity on this post btw

[baskinginthenoondaysun]

“Whenever this appears on your dash, we at Aperture request that you like AND reblog to preserve the insane like/reblog parity. For science.”

[belltothethirdpower]

[kinuko]

[judgejudyofficial]

stop letting miserable people on the internet convince you that you must have a concrete, well-constructed opinion on everything that has ever existed.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[judgejudyofficial]

everybody say thank you Marcus Aurelius

[praisebagels]

Thank you Marcus Aurelius

[animentality]

[vimbry-moved]

“wow, look! volcanoes! isn’t this neat? what do you think we should name this place?”

guy making it really obvious he doesn’t want to be here:

[chernozemm]

I think there's a great chance the existence of mirrors/reflective surfaces silently fucks Rocky up.

Like, Grace is in the bathroom, shaving, the curtain pulled to the side and suddenly he stops and says "stop touching my stuff". Rocky, frozen, somewhere behind him, can't fathom how Grace sensed that. He was so quiet. The razor is so loud. Grace's still facing away from him. What the fuck.

Grace repairing some panel or other and asks for a tool. Without even turning around, he says "no, not that one, the one to its left". Rocky's like are you shitting me. I know for a fact your hearing is ass. You can only see in one direction and I'm not in it!! What?!

[dogpuppy]

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

[evilscum-deactivated20160223]

why would i do that lmao

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

[praisebagels]

Turns out the Israeli subway advertisement screens run on ubuntu

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

our new head chef Barbecue Pistol is going to rock your world with his brand new fry sauce which is a mix of ketchup and mayonnaise and a little sriracha for that pistol kick

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: a c ac t gg t c t a ac c a tc a aa a a tt aca tat t c

Closest match: Masticbarbus longipinnis genome assembly, chromosome: 20A

(image source)

[praisebagels]

Bald Markiplier

[unawroks]

I'm trying to convince my friend that Miku is God, wish me luck

[stars-says-fuck]

agnostic baseball player: "nobody knows where that baby came from"

[the-haiku-bot]

agnostic baseball

player: “nobody knows where

that baby came from”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[byjove]

do you guys ever briefly consider licking your cats back after they lick you and then remember they’re norsty creechers

[praisebagels]

Every single fucking time

[byjove]

do you guys ever briefly consider licking your cats back after they lick you and then remember they’re norsty creechers

[charl0ttan]

horses cant scratch themselves but humans cant go fast. we support this legandary partnership