Processing With Belle

• 27, UK • a chaotic blend of existential crisis and main character energy

[processingwithbelle]

My hairs black againnnnn

[processingwithbelle]

i want you to want me like I want you

but I can’t see that ever happening

is it better to leave than be abandoned?

[processingwithbelle]

I only know love that breaks me

[processingwithbelle]

Take a step back

Remember the connections you’ve made along the way

You’re still you — even after everything that’s happened

Reach out. Try to reconnect.

You’ve lived a life. If you’re looking forward now and everything is looking a bit crazy, look back.

Look back on the memories and the connections and hold them close, you never know who will be your light in the darkness

[wuffying]

[processingwithbelle]

it seems life isn’t what the childhood stories told us

sometimes Eeyore does get left behind

[processingwithbelle]

I wish I could feel things within normal ranges.

I wish I could love without limerence.

I wish I could be sad without feeling like the world is ending.

I wish I could feel happiness without feeling drunken euphoria.

I just wish I could trust myself and my feelings, but i can’t.

[processingwithbelle]

I am going to miss you more than I can ever tell you

[processingwithbelle]

I hate that the reemergence of intense grief for my grandmother is a sign my mental health is bad…

But even more so, I hate the moment I realise that she isn’t reaching out to me and I’m just having another episode.

[processingwithbelle]

I accept I have been the villain in other’s stories.

I accept I have caused trauma to people I have loved.

I just wish I could accept that all I can do now is allow time for healing, and hope with all my heart that they will return to me, and give me another chance one day.

[processingwithbelle]

And when you realise that no one truly sees you, don’t let it blind you — choose to be the one who sees others in their entirety.

Observe their darkness as well as their shining light, and love them all the more for it.

Don’t become the pain you try so hard to break free from.

[processingwithbelle]

Feeling a little broken

[irisili0]

Forgive yourself for all the wrong things you did just to be loved.

[resqectable]

“It’s okay if I’m not your favorite chapter you have written, but I hope you sometimes smile when you flip back to the pages I was still apart of.”

— Unknown

[processingwithbelle]

I can’t decide whether you’re completely wrong for me, or completely right…but I do know I want you and that’s not going away…

[processingwithbelle]

If there was one thing I wish everyone knew and understood, it would be that every single person is different…

Like, yeah, we may have the same qualities and interests, same diagnoses, even same thought processes sometimes

BUT we all have different life experiences, different childhoods and pivotal moments. We have different wants, desires and dreams. We vary in the way things motivate us, hurt us and hinder us.

Our brains are literally wired differently, also. Like some of us have more active parts than others, and stronger connections to other areas of our brains. There is so much that makes up each person's identity... we are designed with such intricacy - I wish more people understood that.

[wordx]