Things and stuff

Cynder | 28 | she/her Avatar by whip-oh-will!

[prokopetz]

Predictions for Dungeons & Dragons under Hasbro's management in the coming years:

Uma Musume style horsegirls introduced to the Forgotten Realms; setting's lore revised so that they've always been there.

Advancement rules now stipulate per-session XP bonus based on lifetime D&D Beyond purchase history.

Compendium of exclusive feat trees for specific gender and sexual identities. Bisexuality receives no feats of its own, being mechanically implemented as "half gay"; the resulting synergies are disgusting.

Editorial error in revised Dungeon Master's Guide accidentally refers to Dungeon Masters as Hasbro's employees.

"Noble savage" coding of barbarian class walked back, refocused on European folkloric touchstones such as the Ulster Cycle; all barbarian characters become Irish stereotypes.

AI-based DM service trained exclusively on work of Ed Greenwood launched; withdrawn a week later citing "guiderail issues".

Expanded discussion of navigating player expectations frames "not showing up at all" as a valid playstyle.

Dragon-blooded sorcerer subclass revised to state that one of the character's ancestors was "very good friends" with a dragon.

[drunkenlemur]

Didn't that last one actually get implemented into canon?

[prokopetz]

Hasbro has indeed spent the last several years pushing back against dragonfucking jokes so hard that they've gone as far as to revise some of the setting lore to imply that dragons don't even fuck each other, but they haven't yet had the guts to pull the trigger on taking the option of literal dragon ancestry off the table for sorcerers.

(The 5.5E writeup for dragon-blooded sorcerers does list "making a bargain" with a dragon above the actual-ancestry option, though, which is funny as hell. Yeah, I'll bet it was a mutually beneficial exchange!)

[hotvampireadjacent]

https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw

[littlemisspipebomb]

ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.

[baronfulmen]

"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.

Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.

Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.

We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."

I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.

[were--ralph]

"i danced with death" yeah well i slowly ran from him all frail and daintily in a cunt-honoring way

[were--ralph]

like this if you even care

[were--ralph]

Genuinely, what happens in those games?

[sailatina3]

[hollowboobtheory]

this is gonna sound really bitchy but some people really need to learn to realize when someone isn't talking to them. if you don't like beans then the lady posting a bean soup recipe isn't fucking talking to you. if you dont like reading then the people who post about the books they're reading aren't fucking talking to you.

I wanna start saying "not you, rabbit ears" bc that's what my dad always said growing up but idk if the tone will come across.

[yuukels]

[thatnikaluffy]

@luffysprincess

[apas-95]

still genuinely incomprehensible to me that people wear shoes indoors. do you live in a mineshaft

[fiollaigean]

multiple people in my immediate circle of acquaintances have seriously injured their feet indoors by not wearing shoes! either by stepping on small, pointy objects or stubbing their toes so hard they got nerve damage. some of us like to be protected! get yourself a cheap pair of house slippers or something. fuck.

[mortimermcmirestinks]

why do you have small pointy objects scattered around on the floor of your literal home

[apas-95]

usamericans will massacre dogs in their house and not even sweep up the broken bones

[shamebats]

Oh you take medications to manage your symptoms? That pales in comparison to my strategy of only eating raw eggs, avoiding anything that could possibly cause a flare-up and taking 50 different supplements every day.

[beammeupplease]

Victor Adame Minguez

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

She's spotted Chris Pratt and she's not letting him make a Juarassic World sequel on her property O_O

[kaiasky]

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

[biggestzam]

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

[kaiasky]

i want you on my team holy shit

[dingdongyouarewrong]

man y’all remember when the avengers movie came out and everyone headcanoned that all the avengers would live together in the tower and had all these cute posts about various fun ways they could interact and then the movies literally never had any of them even be friends

[mycroftrh]

I want to state, for the record, that “all the avengers would live together in the tower” wasn’t collective headcanon, it was canon. The very last scene of Avengers (2012), the one they left us on, is Tony redesigning the tower, designing a living area for each Avenger. That was, canonically, what was supposed to happen, in canon, and they just changed their minds and decided to… not. For whatever goldarn reason.

[dingdongyouarewrong]

GHHFDGJHFDS THATS EVEN FUNNIER WHY IS MARVEL LIKE THIS

[panicawa]

Bismuth, Lapis and Peridot

[rna-world]

yeah yeah people make the front legs the wings for creatures like, in every instance. because it makes sense. but can you imagine a creature with the back legs as wings? fucked isn't it

[bitsbug]

IDK I think its cute

[fashion-runways]

TUNGVU Couture Fall/Winter 2025 pls help me get out of debt donating to: ko-fi.com/fashionrunways or dinahlance-shop.fourthwall.com

[sparrowlucero]

the among us show being a total gorefest on par with john carpenter's the thing is a really fun choice

[sparrowlucero]

the among us show having a gay orgy in the middle of it is another really fun choice

[sparrowlucero]

realizing many people don't know about infinity train creator owen dennis' among us show from years ago, which has been trapped in unreleased limbo all this time and was just dumped on streaming this morning with no advertisement. they don't even know about its weirdly stacked cast

[hexmaniacmareen]

First episode is free on youtube

[grahamkennedy]

[indigobuntings]

I can't believe home depot literally produced a wildly successful science fiction musical and we all just pretend it didn't happen. on one hand yes it had a boring white guy main character but like.... home depot just... Made it? And it had shit ton of box office sales? and no one even talks about this. this is like avatar (2009) all over again

[indigobuntings]

OK so. After a lot of frantic googling I realized this was all a dream. home depot did not in fact produce a wildly successful science fiction musical. I was on allergy meds and took a nap and my brain simply prophesized this. slightly disappointed because I wanted to watch it.

[krchov]

(by @galwednesday)