Can’t believe I went to 6 months of 12 step meetings to learn this wisdom when I could have just watched this

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Mike Driver
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$LAYYYTER

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@qualityvanillaabsolute
Can’t believe I went to 6 months of 12 step meetings to learn this wisdom when I could have just watched this
a small thing i learned from my sister dying is that i really would rather the people i love be a burden than be whatever the hell else they'd be if they weren't. yes even if it's messy and not always fair and hard completely inconvenient for everyone involved. even if it's weird. even if i'm rolling my eyes a bit inside sometimes. i just want you to bother me. please always bother me
like "it's rotten work" "not to me not if it's you" actually sometimes it's still rotten work. even if it's you. and i'd still do it a million times over
happy disability pride month to mean cripples, nasty addicts, people with down syndrome who arent nice and talk constant shit, wheelchair users that WILL run you over, autists that dont care and arent about to pretend to, people who lie to their psychiatrists, people that sit on the floor in public places with no benches, amputees that lie profusely about "what happened", ; to the "noncompliant", the "drug seeking", the "mean", the "difficult" and the "undeserving", and so on and so forth, i love us all and we deserve the world actually mwah mwah
to people that hide contraband in their assistive devices. to people that do party tricks they arent supposed to and people who will spit on you if you ask them to do party tricks. to people that weaponise the infantalisation of disabled people for their own purposes (theft et. al.). to the people who "misuse" their medication and people who dont take it at all. to my mother, who takes out her hearing aids when she doesnt want to hear shit anymore but will still pretend to be listening so you dont catch on. to people who sleep all the time and to people with "abnormal" circadian rhythms who are unwilling to alter their sleep/wake cycle to best appeal to societal (and moral) expectations. to people that complain loudly about inaccessibility and refuse to try and "make it work". to people that charge money for invasive questions and people that pretend not to understand the question at all.
the persecution of lefthandedness is insane to think about because it was so intense for so long, in some places still is, without any clear profit motivation. sheer love of the game. as late as the 70s at least they were smacking my stepdad's hands for it with a wooden ruler at school, to this day he's in weird ambidexterity situation where he's not great with either side and notably clumsy due to poor hand-eye coordination. just wtf
It is fascinating to me that people also think of handedness as an example of bigotry that just...went away. As you note, it...hasn't in some places. I know people who grew up in the mid-late 90s who still had this problem.
But also, and this is really important to keep in mind regarding bigotry that still causes in many ways larger problems, that the structural problems are not actually fixed.
If you go to any computer lab or public library, the mice will be on the right side of the computer. Sometimes they can be moved. Sometimes they can't. Many computer mice are curved to only fit in right hands.
It is impossible to find lefthanded scissors without going to a specialty store, because most scissor makers don't even make them. And it's not just a matter of grip; the slicing side of the blades is obscured if you use righty scissors in your left hand, so your cut is off.
All those signing pads with the little chained styluses? Almost always on the right side, often not even long enough to stretch to the left. Makes signing for lefties extremely difficult.
I caused actual muscular problems in college having to twist around in order to write at right-handed desks in college when there weren't enough lefty desks--and there never were. Some classrooms didn't even have a single one.
I could go on.
But the point is, bigotry isn't just a mindset shift. People can't just decide they're not bothered by that particular difference anymore and everything's fine, because society is still structured and designed to cause problems for marginalized people. And they're never even going to notice all the little ways their life is bent to convenience them that inconveniences others.
Officina Profumo Farmaceutica di Santa Maria Novella Firenze // Peau d’Espagne
The leather perfume of my dreams. No sweetness but the subtle natural sweetness from herbs which this is stuffed with. It smells like tea but more authentically than most tea scents. This thing is older than any other leather scent on the market probably and they perfected it that early. I was scared bc it’s described as pungent and stinky but it’s really not. It’s even subtle enough to mix with other scents and I already know which ones.
Why are these so beautiful….
As a kid you see seahorses in cartoons as actual underwater horses for the fish people to ride on and it makes u never really realize how fucking weird seahorses actually are. Forget the horse part and just look at this fish. It’s a serpentine type fish like an eel, with a tube shaped body, but it’s stuck in a stiff C shape and can mostly only articulate its head and tail. So it swims standing upright. With its weird tiny hummingbird fins. Is this weird to anyone else
See also their relatives, the pipefish, who decided to forgo curling up in favour of just being one long solid tube:
And of course, the coolest-looking fish on the planet, the leafy sea dragon:
SEA DRAGONS
“Boogie Street ‘52, Revachol” (Kim has this in his wallet)
A revamp of my 2022 Disco piece hehe
i’ve warmed up significantly towards the concept of small talk ever since i learned that its sole purpose is to make friendly noises.
as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”
small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.
i am motivated by wanting the other person to know i am friendly, so i have gotten pretty decent at small talk when i used to hate it.
A quick guide for trans people who are using/ forced to use the disabled toilet due to transphobic bullshit in the UK when you wouldn’t otherwise need to do so. From a transgender wheelchair user who has given this topic a lot of thought.
Remember you are a guest in this space. I don’t know a single person who would rather you shit yourself or get assaulted than use the disabled toilet, but please remember that these toilets are built and designed for disabled people after a huge amount of campaigning and activism.
Don’t touch or move things you don’t need to. If you’re not familiar with how things work or why they are where they are just leave it be. The position of a bin might not mean anything to you but it could be really important to a wheelchair user who needs to change their tampon. Don’t touch things like grab rails either – while they’re fairly tough and you’re unlikely to cause any damage it’s not impossible and if you don’t touch it, you can’t break it.
Related, but important enough to have its own point: please don’t touch the red cord. Do not tie it up, do not wrap it around anything, don’t tuck it behind a bin. Don’t touch it (The only exception to this is to untie a cord that’s been tied up) If the cord doesn’t fall freely to the floor it could prevent a disabled person calling for help in an emergency. If you’re worried about accidentally pulling it there’s almost always at least one reset button in there with you. Press that and it cancels the alarm.
If possible allow other people waiting to go first. A lot of disabilities, both visible and less apparent, can cause problems with incontinence, urgency or pain that make it difficult for someone to wait to use the toilet. If there’s someone else in the queue and you are able to do so, offering to let them go first might really help them out.
If you want to get a radar key, get it from disability rights UK or give a small donation to a disability charity (again only if you’re able to). I’ve seen a couple of trans orgs giving away free radar keys and it’s unclear how they are being sourced. Knockoffs are common but only “real” RADAR keys are from Disability Rights UK and any profits help fund their charity work. Bear in mind that most disabled people also have to pay for these keys which are about £5. (Disability Rights UK say their keys are to be sold to disabled people or organisations only, this is a legal thing they have to say about VAT relief. There is no real way of following up how disabled someone who buys a radar key is because you don’t need to claim any benefits to be eligible for VAT relief and keys are a low value item that isn’t worth anyone looking into when things like adapted cars exist. Be gay, do crime, support disabled people having rights.)
Know the difference between a standard accessible toilet and a changing places toilet. Don’t use a changing places toilet if there is any other safe option. These have a different symbol and are bigger and fitted with extra equipment for severely disabled people and our carers. That equipment is more sensitive than anything you’ll find in a standard accessible toilet so if you do find yourself in one touch nothing. Especially don’t move the hoist (lifting equipment) as it can cause it to run out of power and make the whole space functionally useless if it’s not in the right space on the track. (To be fair this is an unlikely scenario as there aren’t that many of these toilets, but just in case)
Don’t suggest renaming accessible toilets. They’re primarily there for disabled people who can’t use an alternative, and disabled people will be looking for an accessible toilet. For most spaces you can look for an accessible toilet and have a good chance of finding a gender neutral space, but that doesn’t work the other way around. Calling it an “inclusive toilet” or “gender neutral toilet” tells me absolutely nothing about whether my wheelchair will fit.
^ great advice - especially getting to know the different kinds of access for changing places (which are rare and people plan their whole trip out round) and how we need them to stay called accessible or Disabled toilets to give anyone wanting to use the aids in them any chance of finding them or knowing what to expect.
I see so many ads for Radar keys saying they are special type or whatever on Instagram and always think jeez they must be making a large profit skimming money off disability rights uk to pay for those posts - like Echo says always buy from Disability Rights UK.
Disabled people and trans people have many struggles in common and this is great info if you only belong to the trans side.
I fucking love this video
hey is anyone else sick of having to adapt to horrible conditions over and over again
I heard this metaphor growing up, and in my case, it backfired supremely, because I went out into my neighbor's backyard where a rose bush was growing, and the one I tested had like 30 petals (it was yellow, but definitely a rose of some kind), and as a very logical lass, I came to the conclusion that you could have premarital sex AT LEAST ten times before your future husband would even notice something was up. Moral of the story? Test your metaphors on the weirdest and most neurodivergent child you know before writing your weird religious propaganda.
A nonhuman character in heavy makeup: *is very long*
Me: is that you, Doug
The credits: Freaky Creature played by Doug Jones
Me: YEAHHHH
A nonhuman character in heavy makeup: *does that elegant hand movement that Doug always seems to do*
Me: DOUG!!!
How dare anyone over look:
Where it started
DOUG WAS MAC TONIGHT??
Y’all also need to know that Doug Jones was in Smash Mouth’s music video for “All Star” as Pencil Head:
@cellarspider It’s your Blorbo from apparently everything?
Indeed, he is in an unexpectedly large amount of everything! You never know where he’ll turn up, being spindly and mesmerizing.
There's a new mural in Szczecin
You forgot to add the best thing about it
there should be a such thing as a medical detective. you should be able to hire a doctor to figure out what the fuck is going on with you come hell or high water by consulting whatever specialists they can get their hands on, connecting your constellation of symptoms, etc, instead of 10000 different doctors for every distinct bone in ur body that all just kinda go "dang that sucks idk" when you present with more than one fucking symptom
the spooniesphere longs for house md