America's Next Top Dune Propagandist @queer-mothra - Tumblr Blog

I'M BACK FROM THE FUCKING DEAD BITCHES

#can you guess what my new obsession is #it's detroit become human #detroit become human

hey babe, are you ok? I saw you've been listening to Through Heaven's Eyes from the prince of egypt on a loop for the past week

We as a society really do have some major issues when it comes to sex (the physical acts) and all of the other emotions that come with it. I'm nearly 25 now, and I've learned so much about my self and others through sex (and dating/relationships). We're given a sexual script and a sexual ethos as children, and then we go out into the world with an idea what everything is supposed to be like.

However, if you're queer, all of that gets turned on its head, and there is so much you don't know that you don't know what you don't know. You just have to figure it out along the way.

I have come to the conclusion that having a similar sexual ethos and owning your sexual script, whether that be accepting the one you were given, editing it, or rewriting it completely, is a critical component of romantic relationships. I believe that one of the reasons so many queer people struggle with relationships is because their sexual ethos is opaque to themselves, and their sexual script is poorly written.

Unfortunately, the kinds of things many people need to do in order to establish a sexual ethos and write their own sexual script is taboo. It's sinful, repulsive, and devaluing to most people.

#i speaketh

theweirdwideweb

rimonoroni2

unfortunately very true. Doing Better does not always mean never being upset or never being triggered or never having trouble. often Doing Better means experiencing those things and being able to keep going/cope healthily/move on. if you’re in a bubble with no sensation, if you’re numbing yourself out, that’s not what recovering really is. it won’t help you have a happier life it’ll just make your world smaller and smaller until you can’t fit anywhere anymore. gotta learn to make peace with the hard stuff too, that’s the only way to keep going

Finally getting over my break up and feeling like a human being again. I AM ALIVE!

#i speaketh

tomwambsgays

a friendly reminder of what not to say to someone who just came out

#i love chloe's response #detroit become human #dbh #connor #dbh connor

kintsugikalliope

will make you see this injustice

#dbh #detroit become human

fourlokototallandscaping

A few months back, I read about a study that found that people who were told to regularly think about things they’re grateful for reported significantly improved physical and mental well-being at the end of the study. So I started going for a walk every day before work and making myself come up with 5 things that I’m grateful for. And I know it sounds like the most cornball shit ever, but it has fundamentally changed my brain chemistry.

I was aware that I was becoming a little bit too much of a sarcastic little hater before I started this experiment. Now I am almost startled to catch myself saying shit like, “Wow, look at the flowers on that tree, I am so grateful I decided to walk this way,” unironically, completely unprompted, and outside of the specific time in the day when I do the gratitude practice. I’ve rewired my brain to look for things to be grateful for, and so I look around me more and find more of them, which makes me feel happier, which makes me find even more good things.

For the record, I’m not saying, “Only think positive thoughts! No bad vibes!” Toxic positivity is probably about as unhealthy as only thinking negative thoughts. Sometimes shit does just suck. I’m not telling you to be grateful for the bad things around you. Being a sarcastic little hater definitely has its place. But setting aside like 2 minutes per day to come up with 5 things you’re grateful for will genuinely improve your outlook. It doesn’t have to be big stuff—sometimes the best I can manage is simple shit like, “I’m grateful that zippers were invented,” but even that forces me to be in the present moment and deepens my appreciation of the world around me. Try it, even if you have to do it badly or sarcastically at first. Even if you only do it so that you can come back and tell me I’m wrong in 3 months. Set a daily alarm on your phone and give it a try.

fremedon

Serious question: Is there a way to do this without making it about fucking gratitude? Which implies intentionality, which implies both the existence of some force capable of making decisions and that that force is some way aware of me and working, however ineptly, on my behalf? The combination of hubris and humility this sort of gratitude calls for is absolutely repulsive to me. It’s not like being grateful to a person, for whom you can do something good in turn; it’s just… out there, eternally unbalanced, and even if there isn’t some god or chthonic power out there feeding on it it still feels dangerous.

At the same time, though, I would like to have some way to be present in the moment without having a fucking panic attack.

Is there a practice for cultivating positive feelings, like “those daffodils are pretty,” that doesn’t immediately lead to “and therefore, I need to placate Something that could have made them flesh-eating but hasn’t. Yet”?

ms-demeanor

I find gratitude journaling extremely unpleasant and upsetting because it trips the switch in my brain that says “see, you have so many things to be grateful for so you have no right to be miserable,” so I generally just make enjoyment lists.

It’s just things that make me happy, or that I enjoy, even if it’s really minor. “Oh hey, there’s a hummingbird diving through the water from the sprinkler. That’s great, that’s going on the list.” “Oh I haven’t heard this song in years, I’m glad I heard it at the grocery store, that’s nice.” Sometimes it’s big stuff, or really exciting stuff, but mostly it’s little. I’m not trying to pressure myself into feeling big happy feelings, just remembering to take notes that blankets fresh from the dryer feel good and there’s a dude in my neighborhood who has two dogs who tow him on a skateboard like a chariot and that is in fact pretty cool and I enjoy it when I see him.

One of the really frustrating things about a lot of mental illness (and depression specifically) is that you stop noticing the things that make you feel good. Sitting down to think about the times that you felt good and making notes about them both forces you to remember that some things DO still feel good, even if it seems like everything sucks, and gives you a book of stuff you like to flip through so when you’re feeling really shitty you can go “oh yeah, I like that song, I should look up the music video.”

If you want an extremely low-pressure way to start this, get one sheet of paper and write “Cool Stuff” at the top and write down one or two things recently that were pretty cool. You can do it daily, you can do it weekly, you can set goals or do it whenever you feel like it. Sometimes I forget about my cool stuff lists and then I find them again and it’s actually quite pleasant to sit down and write all the cool stuff that happened and catch up.

(also yeah I am drowning in cynicism and sometimes even being sincere enough to call something amazing or awesome or just *good* feels like a performance, but generally I can find stuff that’s pretty cool without hating myself, which is why that’s what I use as the starting exercise for this)

hareofhrair

Focusing on what makes you happy rather than “grateful” is definitely a good idea. There’s a lot of cultural Christian baggage around the concept of gratitude, especially nebulous, undirected gratitude. But if you’re interested in unpacking that, it’s not the only way to understand being grateful.

I really recommend reading “Braiding Sweetgrass” by Robin Wall Kimmerer. It changed a lot of how I think about gratitude and our connections to the lives around us, and the idea of a “gifting economy” which erases a lot of the guilt around being grateful. If I see daffodils, I’m grateful *to* the daffodils, who grew up along side humans in a mutualistic relationship. They give us the gift of being beautiful and useful (daffodils have been grown by humans since antiquity for various purposes including medicine and rodent repellent) and they don’t ask for anything in return. They’d grow wild without us. But we can choose to give them the gift of cultivation and care in return, and that enriches both our lives. When you think of the world and the lives around you as people, not in a spiritual woo way, but as members of your community you can work together with in a very practical sense, it makes it a lot easier to know where that gratitude is going and to see how much and how freely we’re given these gifts. It also makes it easier to see and acknowledge the human members of your community who, while they probably don’t think of it that way, are also giving you gifts every day, of just running the society that supports you. Making food, stocking shelves, hauling garbage. There are humans and living things all around to be grateful to, to thank, and to bring your own gifts to if you have the means and the desire. It’s not an obligation, or obeisance to some supreme power. It’s recognizing an equal has done something kind for you, and choosing to do something kind for them to show them you care, even if all you can do for them in the moment is acknowledge the gift and thank them for it. That’s real gratitude to me.

boltstuck

All this are good points and great advice, but I want to note that OP’s original example about the flowers was “Wow, look at the flowers on that tree. I’m so grateful I decided to walk this way.”

Not gratitude to a nebulous force for making pleasant flowers, or gratitude to the flowers for existing, but gratitude to the self for making a decision that resulted in seeing some flowers.

I bring this up because seeing the self as a failure incapable of goodness or a perpetual source of misery for both one’s self and others is common in mental illness, religious trauma, and abusive childhoods. An overarching mindset of “you are responsible for all the bad in your life and none of the good.”

So another practice to try is making note of the rewarding results of your own decisions and actions.

Not “thank God I passed the test” but “I’m glad the work I put into learning this subject allowed me to pass the test.”

And if you’re inclined to go “but I didn’t study at all, I was just guessing the whole way, it was total luck that I passed”, you can go “I’m glad that I took the risk to take the test even though I felt unprepared, because the effort I did put in was all I needed to succeed.”

Put another way – it’s being grateful to your past self instead of hating them all the time.

“I can have a tasty BLT today because Past Me brought tomatoes, thank you Past Me!”

“I can walk a little easier today because Past Me took us to the doctor for a prescription, thank you Past Me for working so hard and being so brave.”

“I saw a really cool street performer because Past Me went out to take care of a chore we’ve been dreading, thank you Past Me.”

iyzlime

A tiny fragment of life

mariacallous

fluorescentbrains

terfs posting their Ls

pezpenser205

its nice to see stuff like this because it reminds you that theyre actually the weird ones. their rhetoric just relies on them portraying themselves as "voices of the people" fighting for what no one else will stand up for, despite most people probably thinking their behavior is embarrassing and not worth it. open terfs, racists, nazis, homophobes, misogynists, general transphobes- are all just extremely pissed off and angry minorities that make it everyone else's problem as much as they possibly can so that they seem bigger than they are. that doesnt mean they arent dangerous, it just means we can win. we've got a fighting chance against these losers.

anti-terf-posts

official anti terf post

zmmrk

This is how talks with Amanda go like on the deviant route, right?

I saw this meme from Spiderverse somewhere and thought about these two, so I had to commit

#dbh #detroit become human

criminalizegolf

> read library book

> it's good

Thank you library

fiercestpurpose

> read library book

> it's bad

Thank you library for saving me from buying it :)

official-library-posts

official library post

beemovieerotica

people who are just finding out about internet tracking and data mining in the year 2025 and that your special robot friend does not respect your privacy lol