listen to your local women @radfemichigan - Tumblr Blog

Interested in your gyns' takes on this

I don't want to say too much because it's also my mother's business but it's definitely a real issue

both of my mother's parents were abusive and sometimes I think it might have been better for her and me as a grandchild if she'd cut them both off

she's trying to take responsibility now and learn to be better and I don't feel like I'm "remothering" her as she's doing this on her own and just being open with me about it and it is working but it's still difficult at times

my personal solution is don't have kids, I don't want to be pregnant anyways, but I wouldn't be able to deal with harming my own children in any way and I know I would even if only unintentionally because I am not capable of doing what I feel would be necessary to raise them well and I don't want to pass everything in the family onto them

sickofeverythingmale2

The mother daughter complex is really not so complicated. Mothers chose to bring you into the world, so there’s already that betray between the two of you where she decided that this sexist world was in fact fine to bring a girl into. Plus the added betrayal of whichever man she decided to use for the father which will always link you to a thing that does not consider you human.

But then the daughter grows. And the mother simultaneously wants a better life for you while also resenting and being jealous of you for it. Ergo the forced femininity and the push to create your own children. Because well. Misery loves company. And bc most women value male approval over all else, when daughters become women, most will repeat the cycle and never look further in and realize this will always repeat as long as mothers and daughters continue to live with each other under patriarchy.

Which is why the only correct decision is to 100% break the cycle by not having kids.

radfemichigan

The only correct decision is to not have kids? That's not a solution, that's opting out.

All of the trauma from being a woman is heavy, but it isn't permanent. If you believe that the only solution to all of this bullshit is to opt out, then there's no point. Sexism is going to have to be a multi generational solution if there is one. If you don't want kids for your own personal reasons, that's totally up to you. But suggesting that women should just give up rather than fight for a real solution is just lazy.

Humans are going to keep creating generations, and it'll be much better if the feminists help encourage generational healing either secondarily or as mothers/daughters themselves.

bazberkker

Barbie (2023) is to she/theys what The Lego Movie (2014) is to he/theys. I can’t explain it but it’s TRUE.

gendiebrainrotreceipts

It’s because one is ‘girl toys’ and one is ‘boy toys’ and y’all depend on gender stereotypes above anything, it’s not that hard to work out

thatsonemorbidcorvid

“The knowledge that all living things are as dependent on the earth as if they were babies in their mothers’ wombs is unacceptable to the dis-integrated patriarchal mind. Since to be independent is ‘male’ and to be dependent is ‘female’, to be incontrovertibly masculine, men must reject and deny their dependence upon Mother Earth just as they must deny their dependence on women.”

- Sonia Johnson, Going Out Of Our Minds

thatsonemorbidcorvid

“But as women know, men are on the whole immensely dependent beings, dependent in a far more basic way upon women than women are upon them. Masters are always more dependent on slaves than vice versa, not only for the daily smoothing out of the wrinkles of life, but also for the constant reassurance that they are superior beings, the only framework within which life makes sense and is desirable for them.”

- Sonia Johnson, Going Out Of Our Minds

sundazesun

old-school-butch

No one has ever had a reasonable, logical explanation for me about why someone would want to ‘identify as’ something they aren’t. The reasons are always emotional, ideological or ‘because I really want to.’

I get that mental illness is a thing, but society in general doesn’t change dictionary definitions on that basis.

instant-wife-microwave-only

Am I crazy for finding this upsetting?

Any thoughts?

radfemichigan

The problem is that it's too little too late. These daughters weren't given the tools on how to emotionally handle the backlash from a patriarchal world. And odds are, their mothers don't know how to cope outside of complying either. So now the only options are to shave or to have an onslaught of bullying that neither parent or child is equipped to deal with.

Like, yeah, seeing the next generation of girls learn the patriarchal standards that their mothers suffered is not good, but I don't blame them for surviving socially.

hound-of-ulster

jabberwockypie

Area Man Experiences Consequences, Whines About It

unashamedly-enthusiastic

If you're in the notes thinking this is really only about little origami stars

jabberwockypie

Red flags such as:

- Dismissing his girlfriend’s hobbies and interests.

- Talking her out of buying fancy paper because HE doesn’t think it’s important. (Why does it matter if she spends her money on something she likes for her hobbies?)

- Destroying a thing his girlfriend made, repeatedly

- Disregarding when she asked him to stop, because he just couldn’t help himself.

- Ignoring that this thing he’s doing clearly upsets his girlfriend

- Lying to her repeatedly

- That whole mess of homophobic nonsense in the update, and acting like he’s the victim when he actually experiences consequences.

Classic DARVO response (Deny, Attack, Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender).

- First he says it wasn’t him, must have been her roommates destroying her things.

-It’s not a big deal, they’re just little paper stars, why are you making such a big deal about this? It doesn’t matter.

- Trying to guilt-trip her about how she could have seriously damaged his computer with that glitter! Why is everyone being so MEAN telling him he’s the asshole? And how dare she date someone else! Can’t you see how unfair and TERRIBLE she’s being to him? And he’s ALL ALONE for Thanksgiving because she’s just being so UNREASONABLE. (Totally ignoring that these things are all consequences of his actions.)

Reminder: You can break up with someone for ANY REASON. Even if it’s “not a big deal” - if they’re not respecting you, your belongings, or your boundaries, that is TOTALLY a valid reason to break up with somebody or end a friendship.

spooneyes

"she wanted to talk about why I do that". Not did, do. Not the first time this dude has been caught lying, which is also likely why she booby trapped her shit.

All of the very valid criticism about his disrespect and outright contempt for her hobby and his blatant homophobia aside, this dude has been doing shit he knows is a problem and blaming it on something\one else more than just this one time.

matarsack

i think the world doesn’t know what it really means to live in a theocratic dictatorship. Let me tell you about our experiences living in the islamic regime of iran.

1. Your parents were born to muslim parents so they’re automatically muslim. You’re automatically a muslim too. You didn’t choose your religion and you can’t opt out of it or you will be executed.

2. The compulsory hijab law makes you a criminal if you choose not to wear hijab even tho you didn’t choose to be a muslim and you don’t consider yourself a muslim but the regime has forced you into that role whether you like it or not. And when you ‘break that law’, they can do with you as they please.

3. little girls as young as 7 yrs old are forced to wear hijab at school even tho the islam itself says the age is 9. and all the schools are gender segregated so imagine how they force you to get used to hijab even when you’re just surrounded by other girls. And all day long at school they tell you horrible stories about what will happen to you in hell if someone sees even a strand of your hair.

4. the regime modifies all the textbooks, story books, cartoons and movies to represent the ideal woman with full on hijab. The iranian media is ordered to photoshop every photo of a woman that may be showing a little skin. And if they’re iranian, no hair is supposed to be seen or that will be photoshopped away. Women are mostly excluded from billboards and tv commercials.

5. imagine going to work or meeting up with a friend when suddenly the morality police kidnap you in broad daylight and force you into a van to take you to a station where they will treat you like a criminal and if you don’t agree to get humiliated and do as they say, they will put you in prison. And in case of Mahsa Amini and so many more before her, they will beat you to death. My sister was barely 18 when she got kidnapped and they didn’t let her call home and she’d been so fucking scared and we had no idea where she was. Imagine all the psychological trauma.

6. If you’re in a car and not wearing hijab they will fine you and seize your car. So when u get into a taxi the driver will ask you to keep your hijab on otherwise they’ll get fined. And if you refuse they’ll ask you to get off the car.

7. And its not just about hijab. In Ramadan, they get even more vicious. If they catch you eating or even drinking water on the street they will give you lashes as punishment and even imprison you for breaking the law. If you work in a state-owned company it’s even worse. They will close the cafeteria and take away the water dispensers. All restaurants are banned from delivering food before iftar. It’s a fucking mess. Everyone has to pretend they’re fasting or they’ll be severely punished.

So if you see Islam has become for many iranians a symbol of oppression and torture and discrimination, that’s why. The regime uses islam as a weapon to silence and punish anyone who opposes them. You can love islam all you want from the safety of your home in a free country and talk about how kind and benevolent the religion is, but in iran, it’s a whole different story.

Our economy is fucked. All govt officials are corrupt as fuck. Most websites are banned in iran. Even tumblr is banned. The world has cut the iranian ppl from many services. We don’t have intl credit cards like visa card. Amazon doesn’t do delivery to iran. We cant get netflix, spotify or even a gamepass subscription. we don’t get any Apple services here. iran isn’t listed as a country you could choose when signing up for a lot of services. and when we decide to leave iran and escape this hellhole, every country out there will make it sooo much harder for us to get a visa just bc we had the misfortune to be born in iran at the wrong time.

This is the story of iran for the past 44 years. Held hostage by a corrupt regime that uses religion to suppress and torture the people and being abandoned by the rest of the world bc our lives don’t matter.

Please be our voice. Once they shut down the internet completely and silence our voice, they will start slaughtering us to stifle the protests just like they did in 2019. Please help us. We want this fucking regime gone.

marcos--budt

More links, PLEASE reblog or repost and add more resources: OHCHR - Iran: Women and girls treated as second class citizens, reforms urgently needed, says UN expert Iran: Where the regime opposes women’s rights Read: The Wind In My Hair - My Fight For Freedom in Modern Iran by Masih Alinejad

Watch: Kiosk - Sweet Destiny (the movie) I don’t think I’ve ever asked my followers to reblog anything but this time it would mean. The actual world. To the people of Iran. If you could spread awareness of the Iranian people’s fight for freedom right now. I’m not on Twitter or Instagram (although this post is optimized for instagram so PLEASE FEEL FREE TO REPOST IT ON IG) but from what I could see there is not as much noise about this as it should be. Nor is it easy to find posts with resources and basic information. And on tumblr I’ve only seen some posts from dedicated feminist blogs or actual Iranians. And from what I’ve gathered they NEED US to share what’s going on. They are shutting down internet in Iran so it’s up to us to not let the world look past this, not this time. PLEASE join the fight for women’s rights!!!

@silvery-luna @milkyway-ashes @goldieisontheinternet @aftabkaran

fearnotiamremakingradblr-deacti

I was talking about this with a friend yesterday and wanted to make a post about it: what do rad fems think of femme lesbians/how does being a femme lesbian fit into radical feminism? I guess..... I am what most would consider.............. femme4femme...... unfortunately....... but it feels completely contradictory to feminism to want to look feminine myself and even moreso contradictory to want my partner to perform femininity as well... how can i ask that of another woman when i know its wrong?

I feel no better than a man for wanting a feminine girl who puts a lot of effort into her appearance. I'm not really sure if I should try and reframe how I think of the femme identity or if I should try and unlearn my attraction to women who fit patriarchal beauty standards? Can u be "femme" in a way that isn't reliant on like... offensive stereotypes about women? Or In a way that doesnt require you to degrade yourself for the male gaze? Am I misunderstanding what it means to be femme? And can a woman be morally wrong in her attraction to other women?

Sorry maybe this whole rant sounds very dumb for clarity I am not in any real lesbian spaces irl lmfao but I would love to hear yalls thoughts on this :)

radfemichigan

I think one way to look at it is shapes, lines, and angles. Men and masculine styles tend to be boxy and angular. Women and feminine styles tend to soft and rounded.

As a woman or man, if you dress in clothing that complements features you already have, it'll look more natural. If you dress opposite to your features, it can create a really interesting contrast that often is stylistic.

So basically a female can dress feminine in ways that aren't totally bound by the patriarchy. Hell, I wear mostly men's clothes, but style them in a way that softens their lines so it reads more feminine. Obviously there is another level of feminine dressing that is heavily influenced by the patriarchy, but I don't think that those elements are something you're necessarily attracted to.

So basically I don't think it's inherently the patriarchy that makes you like feminine styles on woman, I think it's probably that you like clothes that echos the lines and shapes of women instead of contrasting them.

shollymannon-deactivated2019032

look at how similar these two faces are….and yet they seem completely different…..

thats sex pattern recognition babe!

spookypineflair

The more defined ridge above the eye, wider philtrum and nose are characteristic of male facial structure.

The female has a thinner nose, slightly larger eyes, and more circular hairline.

You know, features that transitioning doesn’t change.

regina-georg-blog

human sex differences are subtle, but pretty much unmistakable; the ability to recognize them as a glance is instinctive, and no amount of gaslighting is going to stop people’s brains from making these unconscious calculations. even the most strident trans activist can correctly sex 99.9% of the people they see on a daily basis, and no matter how many times they repeat their cult mantras they will never be able to prevent their own eyes from seeing what’s right in front of them.

verenadyani

He literally changed his pose Jamie, shut up

butch-reidentified

I'm losing my mind, actually losing my goddamn marbles

queen-mayhem

I love the energy of people sharing things like herbal remedies for abortion and diy extraction devices but those things are gonna kill people.

Misoprostol is safe, effective, and fairly easy to get ahold of. Complications from self-administered misoprostol abortions are rare and the most common complication by far is incomplete abortion requiring a D&C. This can be serious if you ignore it, but it is indistinguishable from an incomplete miscarriage, so it's probably safe to get that medical care if it happens to you.

You can get misoprostol from Aid Access, Women On Web, and plenty of grey-market overseas pharmacies. There are lots of those. The best trick for finding them is to look up where influencers are buying tretinoin and latisse (prescription beauty products). The pharmacies selling that stuff usually also have misoprostol. It's over the counter in many countries, including Mexico.

Dosage is 800 micrograms (usually 4 pills) inserted vaginally. Instructions on exactly how to do this and what you can expect are widely available on the internet, because this is how pharmaceutical abortions were performed before the development of mifepristone.

I strongly urge women to turn to misoprostol first. This is by far the safest way to have a diy abortion. It does not have the high risks of injury, hemorrhage, or toxicity that other diy methods have.

antishave

i advise that in the case you use misoprostol you use it under the tongue instead of vaginally, where pill remnants could remain and be visually seen by a doctor if you do have complications. it's just as effective but won't leave a trace.

misoprostol is more effective when 1. it is used properly and 2. it is used in conjunction with mifepristone. but misoprostol can still safely be used to abort on its own.

r43mona

Oh look, it's my gender.

radfembeidou-deactivated2022042

don't bring her into this lmao

the-land-of-women

Op did it not strike you as a tad misogynistic to label a gender non conforming woman who existed in real life as ‘actually not a woman at all’ solely on the basis of her gender non conformity?