Interested in your gyns' takes on this
I don't want to say too much because it's also my mother's business but it's definitely a real issue
both of my mother's parents were abusive and sometimes I think it might have been better for her and me as a grandchild if she'd cut them both off
she's trying to take responsibility now and learn to be better and I don't feel like I'm "remothering" her as she's doing this on her own and just being open with me about it and it is working but it's still difficult at times
my personal solution is don't have kids, I don't want to be pregnant anyways, but I wouldn't be able to deal with harming my own children in any way and I know I would even if only unintentionally because I am not capable of doing what I feel would be necessary to raise them well and I don't want to pass everything in the family onto them
The mother daughter complex is really not so complicated. Mothers chose to bring you into the world, so there’s already that betray between the two of you where she decided that this sexist world was in fact fine to bring a girl into. Plus the added betrayal of whichever man she decided to use for the father which will always link you to a thing that does not consider you human.
But then the daughter grows. And the mother simultaneously wants a better life for you while also resenting and being jealous of you for it. Ergo the forced femininity and the push to create your own children. Because well. Misery loves company. And bc most women value male approval over all else, when daughters become women, most will repeat the cycle and never look further in and realize this will always repeat as long as mothers and daughters continue to live with each other under patriarchy.
Which is why the only correct decision is to 100% break the cycle by not having kids.
The only correct decision is to not have kids? That's not a solution, that's opting out.
All of the trauma from being a woman is heavy, but it isn't permanent. If you believe that the only solution to all of this bullshit is to opt out, then there's no point. Sexism is going to have to be a multi generational solution if there is one. If you don't want kids for your own personal reasons, that's totally up to you. But suggesting that women should just give up rather than fight for a real solution is just lazy.
Humans are going to keep creating generations, and it'll be much better if the feminists help encourage generational healing either secondarily or as mothers/daughters themselves.
























