[the-future-is-chrome]

shut the fuck up about nonbinary people’s agab forever

[tlirsgender]

Many jokes about packers flopping out and bouncing away and such but I still wasn't prepared for how genuinely disconcerting it is for a second when your brain has accepted this as Part Of Your Body & your thang fell off. My pebis

[tlirsgender]

Every time I pull my pants down to go to the bathroom and watch My Penis go with them I have to like. Recalibrate

[fratboycipher]

(via @lunnefisk)

[talontarget]

jkr is literally posting upskirt photos to her social media. when will it finally get through to harry potter fans that their support makes her feel confident and correct enough to do things like this

[wizardarchetypes]

never thought this day would come but i’m currently having a customer service experience so bad right now that i’m defecting from the employee regiment and joining the customers in their next battle. i don’t know who i am anymore.

[wizardarchetypes]

experience that makes me research local customer service supervisors for a global corporation and tag them in a LinkedIn post, to fall upon their mercy.

[wizardarchetypes]

long story short i have worked for a call center in customer service before and i knew something was not working out. i've had to call about this issue 5 times in 4 weeks because it's still not resolved, and each time the conversation has ended i've asked for an email confirmation of our conversation and a ticket number so i can call back and reference it with a new representative.

well every time i've called, the new representative has been like "i'm so sorry, but there's no ticket by that number. i have no record of you ever calling about this. i'll start a ticket for you."

finally, the fifth time i nearly burst into tears of frustration and i said "i don't want you to start a ticket for me, because it will be the sixth ticket created for this same issue. every week, one of your colleagues tells me they'll create a a new ticket for me, and then nothing happens."

they said, "i'm sorry but i have no record of those tickets existing." and i was like i KNOW. but they doooooo what is happening.

finally i got transferred to a supervisor's supervisor.

if you've ever worked in online customer service, you know that when a customer calls with a problem, you create a "ticket" that puts that issue into the system. if you can't resolve it, it goes into a ticket queue, where other people with the ability to resolve it select it, put it into their personal working queue, and resolve it.

well after 30 minutes of searching, this supervisor tells me, dumbfounded, that she's discovered a completely unique queue she's never seen before, where my tickets have been going somehow. a pocket universe queue that no one has access to or can edit or select from, not even her. she has no idea what's happening. she's like "yes, here are all your tickets, and no one can open them or comment on them or resolve them.....this is crazy......" and it's JUST my tickets in there. no one else's. of tens of thousands of customers.

all professionalism fell by the wayside. i told her i've worked with those queues before and also found that totally wild. she was like "what the hell is going on...." and talked me through everything she was seeing and how gobsmacked she was. we were both like "this is one for the books truly"

tells me she's going to have to bring this up above herself because this is a really big error on like, a coding level, that she has no idea how to resolve. tells me she will personally call me back tomorrow to update me.

four days pass with no word.

i call customer service again. random agent. explain the entire situation, including that last bit.

agent says "i'm sorry but i have no record of those tickets existing. i'll have to start a ticket for you. rest assured, it will be resolved."

i said, "no it won't be. it never will be. because they're in the special queue."

clearly not believing me, they said, "i've heard nothing about that. i'll start a new ticket for you."

[morsobaby]

Valitettavasti en oo immuuni niille kuville mis joillekki piirretty hahmoille on editoitu liekkipipo ja arskat ja sit vaikka tyylii fourpäkki karhua. Ne näyttää nii pöljiltä mut jotain erittäin suomalaista ja aitoa niissä silti on. Ja mä varmaa virnuilen vähän joka kerta

[perfidiousapple]

Teen näitä vielä itekki mut vaa omalle kissalle :D

[a-mel0n]

reblog if you’ve had an online friendship that’s lasted more than 2 years

[fellshish]

i know you said we ride at dawn but i’m not a morning person actually. can we ride after lunch

[kusali]

Lmaoo

[squaresquid]

[anglaised]

i hope every straight woman on the planet realizes she doesnt have to date shitty guys or guys at all for that matter seriously being single is better than whatever this is

[dasloddl]

op disabled reblogs but I think the point still stands

[sapphling]

people love the social cantagion/"only contagious mental disorder" model of restrictive disordered eating because it's a very clean comfortable pleasant way to ignore the fact that disordered eating is quite often just the most logical response to being inundated with the message that fatness is morally and medically repugnant, socially unacceptable, sexually repulsive, a fate worse than death -- and you can see this in the very way people express concern for the visibly anorexic, lamenting that they "weren't even that fat" and "didn't even need to lose weight." these are things you will never, ever hear if you're fat and your anorexia almost kills you, btw

[sapphling]

like i think that "role modeling" and the glorification of dangerous thinness play a part in this, i do think it's irresponsible to model this behavior for young women, but placing the whole weight of disordered eating as a phenomenon on the shoulders of ariana grande or any similar figure falsely locates the problem within the superstructure. your average teenage girl is being put less at risk by waifish starlets than they are by constant, grinding, "well-meaning" daily fatphobic jabs about food and their weight by their parents, teachers, doctors, siblings, classmates, friends etc. and moreover by the general observation that life is actually made crueler and materially harder for fat people

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[smokingchagga]

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

[boltlightning]

I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT

[trekkiesagainstchastity]

(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store

[boltlightning]

i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me

[luulapants]

Got into a discussion about emergency response at a professional retreat recently and everyone was going on and on about agility, and I was like, "Okay but what about contingency?"

And they were like "What?"

And I was like, "Agility isn't the ultimate form of preparedness. Contingency is. Agility still requires you to flounder and figure out a solution in the moment, but if you have a contingency plan, all you have to do is implement it."

And they were like "But you can't make contingency plans for every situation!"

And I was like, "Yeah, you basically can if you just identify all of your basic dependencies and contingency plan around the loss of any dependency," and then I gave a few examples.

And they all stared at me like I'm an alien.

Anyway, that's how I figured out I'm Batman-coded and also learned how Batman must feel talking to supposedly professional superheroes who never bothered to run disaster scenarios until I pointed out that it's insane that they don't already have a plan for if Superman turns evil.

[nestofstraightlines]

There’s a phrase that really stuck in my head around this. It was from one of the British divers who enacted the Thai caving rescue, though I couldn’t tell you which one or which interview.

As he described to the interviewer a moment of panic and how he he overcame, the interviewer said, in one of those, summarise-last-answer-given-with-appropriate-levels-of-respect-in-order-to-proceed-to-next-question phrasing’s, “Wow, so you rose to the occasion -“

And the diver said, “No, actually people always get that exactly wrong. In an unexpected and urgent situation you don’t rise to the occasion. You sink to the level of your training.”

[throckmortons-thrussy]

[victusinveritas]

[orcboxer]

Things that work in fiction but not real life

torture getting reliable information out of people

knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour

jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact

calling the police to deescalate a situation

rafting your way off a desert island

correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes

effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else

ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences

heterosexual cowboy

[orcboxer]

This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.

[homunculus-argument]

Hey idk who needs this but helpful reminder that "virgin blood" in any witchcraft shit that requires that means "virgin" in the same sense as "virgin hair" means hair that hasn't been dyed or processed in any way, natural in the default sense. So no, "virgin blood" doesn't mean blood from a virgin, just blood that hasn't been used for any other kind of witchy shit earlier.

Whether nor not someone has fucked before is completely irrelevant. Any act of fucking doesn't instantly make someone contaminated or un-magic any of their shit. You're just not supposed to re-use blood for blood magic. That's just not. Just do not. Like that's just weird who does that.

[iastarfish]

Do you become a virgin again when all your blood is replaced like with hair??

[homunculus-argument]

You can become a virgin again if you start playing League of Legends.