Transfems, Transmisogyny, and the Fight to Recognize Transandrophobia
It's been over a year since my original post "On Transandrophobia", and even longer since the word itself was coined by @saint-speaks. There has been a lot of discussion since then, and as I predicted in that original post, a lot of misunderstandings.
I want to take a moment to reflect, re-establish our intentions, and clear up some misunderstandings.
Most importantly, I want to address the discussions around what role transfems play in this discussion. We left gaps in our original conversations about this; partially out of fear, and partially out of a lack of personal experience. We've had more than enough time to learn, though, and it's time to start filling those gaps in.
Buckle in; it's gonna be a wordy one.
Hypervisibility & Invisibility
Hypervisibility is the problem of being too visible in the public eye; it means you are the face of the movement, you are held responsible, you are to blame, you are demonized, and you are most openly targeted. It's a form that oppression can take in any group; black people and gay men face hypervisibility, for example. So do transfems.
Invisibility is the problem of not only not being visible, but of being actively erased from the narrative. It means your existence is not accounted for, your needs are not accounted for, your voice is silenced and unrepresented; and though you are still targeted, this is often brushed over, ignored, and thus allowed to continue. Again, this dynamic can be present in any group; Asian people, asexuals, intersex people, etc. And, of course, transmascs.
Resentment breeds easily between these two groups, by nature of what they are. That's the point.
Hypervisible groups face the issue of being too visible, so being invisible looks like a break. Like rest. Like not being blamed, demonized or openly targeted. And that seems like privilege. Invisible groups face the issue of not being visible at all, and so hypervisibility looks like acknowledgement, like having allies, like being taken seriously, like being given a voice- and that seems like a privilege.
Neither of those things are true. The benefits we see in the other's oppression is a lie; it's what cis society wants us to believe the other has, because that means we envy each other. That means we fight each other over the table scraps before we turn our attention to the people starving us.
Fellow Transmascs: Our oppression is not their fault.
I've taken care to stress this point from the start, but I've had hesitations both directions: my experience has been that myself, and the transmascs I have the most contact with, are so sympathetic to the struggles transfems face that we're afraid we'll imply they're less important by talking about our own. Obviously, this isn't productive; but I feel we've dealt with it poorly in some ways. Let's try again.
First: Hypervisibility is not a privilege, it's just a different form of oppression. Transfems don't gain anything by being hypervisible. If they're the face of the trans community, it's not because their voices are being heard; it's because pictures of them are being tossed around with cis people's captions attached, or cis people's words inserted into their mouths. They do not have control over how they, or any of us, are perceived.
Second: Transfems who are cruel to us are not our oppressors. Lateral aggression hurts, and it can even support systems of oppression, but transfems as a group don't benefit from our oppression. They don't stand to gain anything from it, they don't have privilege over us, they do not have power over us. What they're participating in is a lie fed to them by cis society: that by throwing us under the bus, they might gain some small amount of respect from cis society. Don't buy into it by trying to do the same.
Third: Do not allow resentment toward transfems to grow. Not anywhere. Don't let yourself envy their position, don't let yourself see them as your oppressor, don't let yourself hold transfems as a group responsible for the actions of a few.
Keep our actual goals in mind: to nurture unity and solidarity between our communities, to be each other's allies, and to move forward in a healthy direction. Anger and resentment toward individual transfems who have allowed anger and resentment toward us to fester might be justified, but consider what impact it's going to have.
Consider what is actually going to solve this problem. Consider how many other groups have done so much worse, perpetuated so much worse, and have created the double standards we're dealing with in the first place. Consider who our anger and resentment is actually serving- because it isn't us.
And lastly: Include transfems. I know it feels like they've had the floor and it should be our turn to speak instead, but they haven't. They've had people talking over them, for them; and even if they hadn't, their voices wouldn't matter any less. They have so much valuable insight from experiences we have no way of accessing, and they need to be included and valued alongside everyone else in the trans community. We can all speak- there's plenty of room.
Transfems: This is Your Fight, Too.
"Transandrophobia" was coined not just to describe transmasc experiences, but to describe an arm of transphobia. As long as one arm exists, harm against the entire trans community can be perpetuated.
Transmisogyny itself can impact the entire trans community; the idea that trans women are just men invading bathrooms to prey on unsuspecting cis women has stripped all trans people of the right to use the restroom safely in some states, for example. I'm sure anyone who's experienced transmisogyny is aware of how the effects can spiderweb out across the rest of the community, even as it targets one part in particular.
And the same can be said about transandrophobia. The belief system relies on the idea that women are weak and incompetent, prone to making poor decisions, and cannot be trusted with autonomy; that men are dangerous and gross, and connections to manhood are undesirable; that being "adjacent" to manhood gives one privilege; that looking "like a man" makes one ugly and undesireable; that testosterone makes one prone to physical and sexual violence...
These are the same ideas mirrored in much of transmisogyny as well, and that isn't a coincidence. It's the same gender-essentialism and bio-essentialism that misogyny and transphobia both rely on, re-shaped into a new weapon to brandish against a different enemy. Getting rid of one weapon doesn't fix the problem; people are just as likely to pick up a different weapon to use against you.
Laws making HRT illegal to administer, or more difficult to access in general, were not built on a hatred of trans women: they were built on the idea that Little Girls Were Being Lead Astray, that Poor Idiot Women Were Chasing Male Privilege, that Future Mothers Were Losing Their Breasts and Uteruses, that Teen Girls Were Having a Phase, etc. And those laws hurt every single one of us, even if the ideas target transmascs in particular.
I know a lot of transfems care already, just because it's the right thing to do- because trans people deserve space, and a voice, and support regardless of whether it benefits you directly or not. My personal experience has been that the overwhelming majority of transfems see this, and are wonderful, supportive people without needing convincing at all.
I'm just saying this because I want it to be clear to transfems, and to everyone else reading this, why this fight matters to the entire trans community. And because I understand the resentment and the hesitation, and it's valid, and I want to be clear that this fight is not one to silence anyone.
It's a fight to uplift us all, together; and it's a fight that must recognize transmisogyny as much as it recognizes other arms of transphobia.
Everyone Else: Stop Using Transfems as Accountability Shields.
The vast majority of the time I see someone claiming that "transandrophobia" is bad because it "silences trans women", that it "downplays trans transmisogyny", that transmascs In General are transmisogynists, that transmascs Must Be Silenced For The Good of Trans Women, that transmascs Don't Need Our Own Word, etc.,
It's not actually transfems doing it.
For example: Natalie Wynn included about 10 minutes in a 90-minute video talking about the specific transphobia directed at transmascs by TERFs and cis women in general, and received weeks of online harassment accusing her of transmisogyny as a result. (I'm not speaking to Natalie herself, or any of the controversies around her; this incident alone should indicate to you that something is wrong with the way people are using these accusations.)
The claim that someone or something is transmisogynistic carries weight in certain circles. That doesn't mean it's addressed appropriately- it almost never is- but it has an emotional charge that people tend to respond to.
The claim that someone is "fighting for trans women," or even the suggestion to "listen to trans women" made by someone who is not transfem, while claiming trans women As A Group believe something in particular, carries a similar weight. It often excuses certain actions, bypasses scrutiny, and implies that whatever action being taken is justified and correct- up to and including harassment.
Cis women- and other people who are not transfem- claiming they're "speaking for transfems" when they silence transmascs on issues that impact the entire trans community is clearly an issue. Some trans women may agree with them- and others don't. Which leaves the argument up to how many transfems can be tallied up for each side; tokenizing and objectifying them for the sake of winning an argument.
Transfems are not argumentative pawns. Transfem issues are not a shield against accountability, nor are they a bludgeon to wield against trans people in general. If you want to be an ally, you need to listen not just to "Trans[whatever] Voices"; you need to seek out a diversity of opinions and viewpoints, think critically about them, ask questions about why they are the way they are, and come to your own conclusions.
You need to take accountability for your arguments and opinions, instead of shoving them off onto the closest minority group and saying it's their fault you're acting the way you are.
Transfems aren't responsible for your thoughts, beliefs, and actions. You are.
