wait what

reagan | 27 | coffee fiend | halfway gay

[lazywonderlvnd]

this tweet sends me into fucking hysterics once a day

[facts-i-just-made-up]

[funnytwittertweets]

[funnytwittertweets]

[radiofreederry]

[rea9an]

mm thinking about coming back to tumblr but everything is just twitter screenshots but also was it ever any different

[funnytwittertweets]

[faewaren]

Nicknames: when you shorten someone’s name affectionately

Nicholasnames: when you elongate someone’s name affectionately

[anexperimentallife]

[lmaonade]

Didn’t you used to be 21?

sometimes things change anon i’m sorry 

[algorithmsoflatecapitalism]

Unpleasant_(interface)_design

[mayflower-gal]

THERE’S A SEQUEL TO THE HORRIBLE VOLUME SLIDER POST

[whitepeopletwitter]

[quadrupleshotgunhallway]

please watch this i cant stop thinking about it

[luigiisgod]

me: wow the stars are beautiful tonight  gf: yeah they are me: you know who else is beautiful though?  gf: *blushes* who  me: luigi 

[sisterofiris]

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

[yay855]

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

[rox-and-prose]

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

[watermite]

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

[xakumi]

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

[themodernsouthernpolytheist]

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

[asortoflight]

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

[whisky-gerblin]

Reblogging for the last addition

[anarcho-smarmyism]

in the new COD you can be nonbinary in the CIA and when u meet Ronald Reagan he respects your pronouns. i dont know how to process this information at all

[catgirlforeskin]

Reagan let the AIDs epidemic kill an entire generation of queer people because he was too busy practicing the right pronouns for his non-binary CIA agent

[anarcho-smarmyism]

he didnt do anything about AIDS cause he was too busy reading critical gender theory

[thoodleoo]

hades explaining that he’s the god of the dead, not the god of death

[moonlitlillypop]

Thanatos explaining that he’s the god of death, not hades

[moonlitlillypop]

Thanatos explaining that it applies to animals too

[mando-lore]

Poseidon explaining that he is the god of the seas and oceans

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

Zeus explaining why he can’t keep it in his pants

[miceprincess]

Hermes explaining why he gotta go fast

[memesandmylife]

dionysus explaining why he’s Like That