Self Help and Other Bad Habits

500g fettuccine 1 tablespoon olive oil 80g butter 1 large onion, finely chopped 250g shredded bacon 200g button mushrooms, sliced 300ml pure cream Cook pasta in a large saucepan of salted boiling water according to packet instructions. Drain well. Meanwhile, heat a large frypan over high heat. Add oil, butter, onion, bacon and mushrooms. Cook, stirring for 5 minutes or until bacon is crisp and mushroom is tender. Add cream. Bring to the boil. Simmer 2 minutes or until slightly thickened. Add pasta and cheese to pan. Stir through sauce until heated through. Season with salt and pepper.

[i-am-a-fish]

🔲 relax shoulders/unhinge jaw

🔲 stretch in any way that feels comfortable

🔲 go find+drink some water or any refreshing drink

🔲 deep breath

🔲 resume your silly activity of choice

[im-a-sentient-magic-carpet]

U-unhinge jaw?

[i-am-a-fish]

I meant to write unclench your jaw but yeah. pop it open like a cold one. live a little

[disposablebicycle]

Freelancing in technical theater means you’re on a lot of different email lists. People need a crew, they send out an email, you respond with your availability. Now, most people start these with things like “hey folks” or “hi everyone”. Neal is not most people.

His openers started off innocent enough.

Then, he started to push boundaries.

And as you can see, it has spiraled out of control since then.

[disposablebicycle]

[disposablebicycle]

[disposablebicycle]

[disposablebicycle]

Tag yourselves. I’m the anteater in a suit who thinks he can pass.

[disposablebicycle]

THEY JUST KEEP COMING

He’s even witty in real time.

[maestrokitty-deactivated2019082]

Neal is a hecking gift.

[numeneragoth]

this is a very good resource for an rpg character gjcjiscnnsjc

[free-post-store]

$0

[endangered-justice-seeker]

 the only criticism of millennials l accept

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Constructive Criticism

[down-with-capitalism]

My Eco-Terrorist Son is Absolutely Dripless

[vergess]

I still spend days, weeks every year thinking about how this critique pre-dates the advent of Programming Socks™ and cat-ear headphones, and asking myself, “did the Hacker Aesthetic go from Unfortunate Sweatshirts to Neon Catgirlgender Fantasy because of John Waters? Did he do this???”

[pol-ski]

.❤️

[tits-n-trix]

Who let's a monk who only speaks Polish and Latin out of an monastery, and not only out of a monastery but to an airport, and not only an airport but the O'Hare airport located in Chicago USA

[flipocrite]

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2588

Technically correct. The best kind of correct. (Dialogue from Not Going Out.)

[yr-tiktok-mom]

[geocaprican]

[sirobvious]

I know that’s kind of the go-to thing to show that a vampire character is “one of the good ones” or whatever but it actually seems a little bit more fucked up for a vampire to steal blood from a blood bank than for a vampire to attack people for blood, at least as long as it’s not the kind of vampire where a bite is instantly lethal like it never stops bleeding. 

People can recover from losing some blood but blood bank blood is constantly in short supply and is reserved for people who imminently need blood transfusion of a specific blood type or else they die.

[buckskinblues]

I also hate the “I can just substitute human blood with animal blood” like the whole idea of vampirism sort of hinges on the fact the only thing you can feed off of are humans.

[sirobvious]

YOU get it

[sirobvious]

Once you start having vampires subsist on animals, well, like, so do humans. In fact the average human probably eats more animals per year than most of the animal-blood-drinking vampires I’ve seen depicted.

That’s not a vampire, all you’ve written is an immortal superhuman who subsists on…food, even if it’s a bit undercooked. That’s a fucking elf.

[sirobvious]

Some of y’all’s ideas of other options for “ethical” vampires is insane.

“Ethical vampires should feed on criminals.” So it is ethical for a person to get death penalty without trial and/or to be literally consumed by other citizens as punishment for a crime? That’s the prison-industrial complex.

[drinkbreak]

Ok so I have thought about this extensively. I have come up with a solution to the ethical vampire dilemma that covers pretty much all the bases.

How do you get blood from a human source consensually, without attracting negative attention?

Trendy high end spa.

Advertise a revitalizing blood detox facial. Spas are always doing these kinds of wacky treatments. It’s gimmicky and attention grabbing enough to draw in the upper class. Vampire gets daily blood, and the “victims” pay large amounts of money to give it to them. Spa is highly praised for its luxurious and unique services and draws in more customers

I am certain this would work

[porcelain-dollbones]

“i have come up with an ethical solution: a healthcare scam that steals people’s blood”

[reanimatingthedead]

A healthcare scam that steals RICH peoples blood. Eat the rich and all that

[arqueete]

obsessed with this sign i saw taped up outside the bat room at the zoo yesterday. the enthusiasm, the hand-written note, the bat drawing.

[deadeyesopened]

you should be able take off or put on breasts or a penis any time you want like they're accessories

[starkie-md]

I uhhh got a little carried away

[owenology]

fuck algebra i don’t need it just give me a dead body and i’ll figure it out from there

[owenology]

i feel i should clarify i am a mortuary science major

[possiblynya]

a little autobiographical piece about the internet

[emmaklee]

[pourquoiwhy]

I learned a new concept

Graceful degradation is the ability of a computer, machine, electronic system or network to maintain limited functionality even when a large portion of it has been destroyed or rendered inoperative. The purpose of graceful degradation is to prevent catastrophic failure. (Tech Target, first result on the search engine)

[biglawbear]

Literal opposite of planned obsolescence. I love you graceful degradation.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Oh neat the first time I heard of the concept the guy described it to me as "catastrophic functionality".

He was talking about it in the context of designing robots that would go in and stop nuclear reactor meltdowns, something that would 100% destroy the robot, but they would be designed to keep functioning and fighting the meltdown for as long as possible. He had some designs where over 80% of the robot has died and it was functionally dragging its corpse around by its one working arm because one more minute of functionality might save thousands.

I've been having a few bad years mental health wise, and thinking about those robots a lot .

[catgirlforeskin]

My sister is doing pet play with women on roblox and I don’t have the heart to tell her it’s probably a kink for the others involved

[catgirlforeskin]

No, I can’t emphasize enough that she’s totally clueless about anything that could be weird about it, she just thinks it’s funny. I had to sit there with a straight face as she told me about how she made this girl eat off of a plate on the ground (in roblox) and sleep in a dog bed (in roblox) whenever she misbehaved and go “oh haha that’s so funny” and pretend like everything’s normal.

[ice-cream-asker-deactivated2026]

maybe

how old is she

[catgirlforeskin]

She’s in college, she isn’t like, a child

[ouppykittygirlmurderinstinct]

she looking for another dog?

[catgirlforeskin]

NO

[public-trans-it-deactivated2024]

Hey is your sister single (obviously not counting her harem of dog girls)?

[catgirlforeskin]

No she’s straight (but says she’d go gay for Taylor Swift) and has a boyfriend, sorry petplay girls

[queen-mihai]

Volunteering to stand in as this person's sister during this time of need

[catgirlforeskin]

I have a name

[unoisveimved-un-medicated]

This post really makes you take a deep breath and ponder...

[catgirlforeskin]

I swear to god if this blows up enough that it gets reposted on other social media and my sister sees you all wanting to be her roblox dog…

[alyanas-little-hideout]

this will be 100k notes. I feel it.

[catgirlforeskin]

Sorry liberals, despite 400 tags saying “posts that have 100k to me,” we’re capping out at a nice cool 11k. My white ass is not making it onto tiktok, no robot lady is going to read this text, and my sister is not seeing it. Thank you all for playing

[ironwoman359]

Don’t sell yourself short just yet

[bunnyboilewd]

For the puppy girls here, I think you should ask follow @lilithtransrights she'll tell you what to do to be a good girl.

[catgirlforeskin]

Do not do this here.

[alphacrone]

when i say i like hiking, i don’t mean “eight mile backpacking trip with special gear and an emergency beacon” sort of hiking, i mean a three mile loop to go look at pretty things and then a huge brunch after.

[angelbabymikaa]

me, flirting: do you wanna go to every rainforest cafe with me in america and canada yes or no

[angelbabymikaa]

what a brilliant idea no one’s ever thought of before

[sacred-portal]

[cherryberg]

[a-sentient-cup]

[icannotgetoverbirds]

how in the gotdam fuck did you find the most liminal-ass looking organ i have ever seen in my life. wretched organ indeed

[fusionreactor]

boob poll

i have boobs and i want to keep them

i have boobs but i want to get rid of them

i used to have boobs but got rid of them

i've never had boobs and i don't want them

i don't have boobs but i want them

in between stages/undecided/nuance

Voting ended onNov 13, 2023