i'll never be a cool blog

A little bit of everything, Kik me: recent.chips snapchat me: candra.tlp

[i-am-a-fish]

comfy

[tonakings]

FISH NO

[i-am-a-fish]

..but comfy

[tonakings]

FISH PLEASE YOU COULD GET HURT

[i-am-a-fish]

s

sleeby….

[the-top-hat-anon-deactivated201]

[succubus-saliva]

Put those fucking sticks down

[invaderxan]

[teenagerposts]

Me when my dog does something bad and my whole family starts getting mad at him

[unga-bunga-tactics-deactivated2]

What could a frog possibly have done to get scolded

[teenagerposts]

You’d be surprised

[annieclarq-deactivated20160724]

the old man lana is singing about in all her songs is bernie sanders

[shezasag]

I gotta delete my blog for good

[youjokebut-deactivated20180818]

gamer: did you play this game as a kid

me: no

gamer: i must be way older than u

me: actually i was just poor

[alittlecheesy]

Thank you for this

[cheaphalloweencostume]

2018 has been going on for like 20 months but october lasted like a week… what’s the deal

[monicas]

1999 - The Simpsons predicts everything that happens in the world

[stolenswingset]

The messed up part is that this, along with the Trump presidency, were predicted as jokes. These were seen as things so ridiculous that not only could they not actually happen, the idea of them was funny. So every time a Simpsons prediction comes true, the Simpsons wasn’t really trying to predict the future, they were making a cynical joke because they thought the real future would be better than it actually is. We’re living in the timeline where all the Simpsons’ worst assumptions about the world were 100% right.

[peredurthefool-deactivated20200]

The Darkest Timeline

[shorts-muchacho-papi]

[iheart-squarepants-deactivated2]

[thatgirlwiththememes]

Gn

[dankmemeuniversity]

[euthymiclurker]

Hades:

Zeus:

[ultrafacts]

Source More Facts

[foxfairy5]

Yes this could have to do with the fact that Freya the Norse Goddess of love, beauty and fertility drove a chariot pulled by cats.

[bryarly]

So, if I ever get married, I fully expect a catmobile. 

[ultrafacts]

One of the other reasons why they gave cats to each other was for their valuable skills as mousers. Cats were able to control rodent populations around their properties.

Also, Norse myths are thought to have the earliest literary descriptions of the Norwegian Forest Cat. They were described as large, strong cats that drew Freya’s chariot and were so heavy that not even Thor, God of Thunder, could lift them from the floor. (Source)

[prokopetz]

They kinda live up to the legend, too. Your average Norwegian Forest Cat is twenty pounds of solid muscle, with claws large and strong enough to climb solid rock. They’ve been known to attack bears when defending their territory. And yet they’re one of the cuddliest breeds out there, particularly noted for being patient with small children.

[nekoama]

I have a Norwegian mix, and can attest that she is the cuddliest cat but also insane enough to try and fight a bear.

[roguetelemetry]

Viking cats “FIGHT ME”

[ninety6tears]

Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, still could not lift this cat.

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

I always love it when this post comes round because a) giant kitties who Thor can’t lift and b) that picture omg boar riding and flower throwing is a good thing

[dankmemeuniversity]

[thyrell]

why are there 5,000 people on this site holding back from doing something with literally zero repercussions for anyone in a world that will never remember the chances you didn’t take? don’t waste your time on this earth live your life slap some rice

[gif87a-com]

[oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019]

me getting up at 3 am to consume water

[terrapincentury-deactivated2018]

really good post if you ever drink water

[shittylifeprotips]

SLPT: Go to a restaurant right before they close. It won't be very busy so you'll have the waiters and cooks undivided attention. You'll get your food quicker and always have your drink refilled right away.

[sammypajammies]

[autumngracy]

Who wants to guess how many bags of peaches are in my dad’s freezer?

[autumngracy]

The answer is:

Too fucking many

This is gonna make … a lot of jam …….

[autumngracy]

So, I managed to fit all but one big bowl of peaches into the two stock pots …

[autumngracy]

An hour and a half later, here they are simmering away …

How long is it gonna take to reduce them to jam, you ask?? Fuck if I know at this size lmao

[autumngracy]

In case you were wondering, it is, in fact, longer than 5 hours, as I am still stirring this jam over the oven :) :) :)

Oh and also there was another large bowl of peaches in the other fridge that I did not see until later, so I did not in fact fit ALL the peaches into the stock pots

On a brighter note, the whole house smells like a Victorian Christmas dinner

[autumngracy]

Hello again friends, it is currently REAL JAMMING TIME and I have been in stirring hell for seven hours

Went through two whole containers of pectin and a bunch of cornstarch already and things are looking just PEACHY

[autumngracy]

So, uh, the first stock pot alone yielded 272 ounces, so I … may have accidentally made about 68 8oz jars of jam …… and I only had 36 jars …

Guess I’m going back to the store tomorrow … and going to have to join the local farmers market to sell them …

Anyway, TEN CONTINUOUS HOURS OF WORK LATER, here I am at around 3am sealing my first batch of jars … (entire other stock pot of jam lurks ominously in the background)

God, it’s like when you overestimate how much pasta you’re gonna end up with, only 300% worse

[autumngracy]

So I woke up today after sleeping like a log to fibd my dad had already gone back to the store (which is like 30 min away) and gotten me more jars because he saw that I needed them

As you can see one of those pachages is the wrong size jar (4oz) so we’ll see if I can fit all the jam into these suckers (plus the two 8oz ones I had leftover)

My dad also put all the jars of jam in the fridge, although since they were all properly sealed (aw yeah) was totally unnecessary lol

He said he accidentally dropped one on the way to the fridge but I checked and it amazingly A) didn’t break, and B) remained properly sealed, so hats off to Ball corp, and also me I guess

[autumngracy]

Update: WE BE JAMMIN’

Spices I used for this recipe:

-Cinnamon

-Nutmeg

-Ginger

-Allspice

-Vanilla Extract

The combination worked out very well!

Gotta can the rest of it after I eat tho :P

[autumngracy]

So, I FINALLY managed to can all the jam, except for like … 6 oz of it, so I made shortbread cookies to use that with ;)

Altogether I did end up with 72 jars of jam, 12 of which are the 4oz size though. What the fuck am I gonna do with all this jam, jesus christ

Anyway, thanks for coming to my jam-filled TED talk guys, take care

[maximumgayce]

send me some jam op

[m--ood-deactivated20181217]

dont say nothin just reblog if she looks like who you know we all think she looks like