[jagged]

Capitalize the B in black, im sick and tired of telling yall to do that. It's disrespectful - especially when you use us in your "hypothetical" scenarios or as your token when discussing things we are often victims of.

[redstonedust]

was reading about birth control methods and saw one that said "dont worry, this wont stop your periods!" which was fascinating wording to me. like dont worry? whos the sick fuck thats like "yeah i dont want to get pregnant but i ABSOLUTELY want to continue bleeding once a month thats very important to me."

[redstonedust]

#someone who needs to fully hide that they're on birth control from the rest of the people in their life

okay this is a fair answer because i fully hadnt considered that other people could be aware of someones elses periods and track them. a level of nosy i hadnt comprehended. if anyone out there is in that position i am so sorry, thats fuckin Rough.

[writerlyn]

The idea of “but everyone knows that” needs to stop.

I saw a post about someone chiding Millennials for not knowing about JKRowlings transphobia, and asking how it is at all possible that people can exist in the world and the internet and, you know, not know.

Which I mean, I get. It is so present in so many of my online spaces that it seems astounding that someone could simply be ignorant! It feels impossible!

But let me tell you a story:

I went on a girls trip with a bunch of friends. All of us are rather incredibly liberal and all of us are incredibly online.

One girl would not stop talking about Harry Potter.

At one point, another girl asked her why she was ok with supporting it, and she had no real clue that JK Rowling was at all transphobic. She had heard that she likes to support Lesbian causes and thought “oh ok cool!” And that was it. She was AGOG with the news and rather horrified.

I must once again emphasize that she was an incredibly online person. She’s a foodie and a restaurant blogger.

Later in the trip we were picking restaurants and I suggested one I found on Google, and she gasped at me. Actually gasped, asking how I could ever be okay picking that one.

The shock must’ve been on my face, because she then told me all of the shitty things that restaurateur does. He abuses staff. Underpays them. Fires them on a whim. Is known for being one of the worst people to his employees in the entire restaurant business on this coast.

And she was so shocked I had never heard of this. Because in her mind, I was just as online as her. And in her online world, EVERYONE knew about this guy.

So I think the moral of this story is: always approach the other person with some empathy. Even online people, even people you think MUST know about how bad people are, may not have heard. It may truly be just them being on a different sphere of the internet than you.

So be gentle, be kind when letting people know they might not have heard about the cancellation of XYZ person. Don’t assume that everyone knows all the same info as you.

By all means, let them know so they can make informed decisions, but being kind will go a lot further than attacking them for some info they might not know yet.

[dead-dove-ble]

Actually you SHOULD make problematic content. You SHOULD explore dark or taboo topics. You SHOULD have a space where you can cope with your traumas or explore sensitive topics in a way that doesn't hurt anyone.

[shiptillyoudie]

Also you should make problematic content for funsies. You don't need to have had trauma or need to be coping in order to explore dark creativity. You can just be a human who wants to explore dark and taboo topics because you want to. That's completely normal, btw.

Every single person on this planet thinks about dark and taboo things. It's literally the most normal thing in the world.

Go draw the horror porn and be free.

[tackypies]

we should all be more like david cronenberg and write fucked up stuff. For Funsies

[redinstead-ocs]

A well informed autism self diagnosis is just as valid as a psychiatric diagnosis. Additionally, under the given circumstances it is safer, most probably less expensive and you don't need to wait for any appointment.

10 screenshots from a twitter thread by @drdemonprince with white text on black background.

The thread reads as follows:

I hear from many trans & nonbinary people who are actively seeking an Autism diagnosis. My advice is RETHINK THIS. Restricting Autistic people's access to gender affirming care is a major TERF talking point. As legal attacks on trans healthcare mounts, a psychiatric dx is a risk

The high overlap between Autism & transness was one of the main "concerns" JK Rowling rose in her "TERF Wars" blog post. Numerous fearmongering anti-trans articles influenced by TERFs have raised the issue since. if youre trans now is not a good time to seek a formal Autism dx.

An Autism dx does not unlock access to any beneficial therapeutic treatment, bc there is no "treating" Autism. Formal diagnosis makes us vulnerable to legal & psychiatric control and gets our competence challenged -- you dont need to subject yourself to this. diagnose yourself

I am close with dozens and dozens of Autistic people, and I have no idea who has a diagnosis and who does not. It does not matter. There is no reason to ask, no reason for others to care how someone identifies and how they arrived there -- all that matters is community support.

also if you cannot afford to pursue a lengthy & expensive lawsuit, it's unlikely a formal diagnosis will actually protect you from discrimination at work, in school or in housing. if you have the means great, but most don't. disclosing disability can be more risk than its worth.

if you need a dx to access resources such as disability benefits or extra test time, by all means go for it, but be cognizant of the potential costs. you could be denied for surgery, lose control of your assets, be found legally incompetent, lose custody of your kids...

Tweet replies to this thread:

By Greysquirrel @/treerat93

My autism dx was forced on me at age 2 and kept me out of the military in my 20s. It’s been nothing but destructive. I was beat up in sped and believed myself to be stupid my entire life because of it. I can’t even buy life insurance.

By Emily Johnson @/emily_rj

In some states, people with autism face being denied organ transplants, are at higher risk for forced sterilization and/or denied contraceptive and reproductive care, and have a higher risk of police brutality I considered this and decided informal diagnosis was best for me

By AK Faulkner is sweet and...

In the UK, an autism diagnosis is already a significant barrier to gender-affirming care. The GICs automatically try to discount dysphoria as autism during your initial assessments with them. If you arrive pre-diagnosed with autism they write your dysphoria off as that.

[strawberry-crocodile]

kinda fascinating how much f/m femdom will intend to create a world or scenario wherein the woman is the one with power and control, but the actual language of the story or art or video still ultimately frames her as a depersonalized object that exists to serve mens' pleasure.

[strawberry-crocodile]

also Certain Feminists will see this and go "the problem is BDSM" and not consider that maybe we live in a misogynist socoety and all art is going to reflect that to some degree, especially if the artist is not putting deliberate feminism behind their work

[silvaurum]

"i would kill a pedophile to protect my child" ok but would you teach your child how to say no? even to adults? even to adults you like? would you teach your child the words "penis" and "vulva" and then use them? would you let them ask questions about their body? would you answer them honestly? would you learn how to cope with your feelings when you talk about human bodies, so they don't feel ashamed? would you set a positive example for how you talk about your body? would you tell your child they don't have to hug or kiss anyone? would you tell your family the same? would you stand by them when they refuse to hug someone? even someone you know has never done anything to hurt them? would you let your child avoid food they don't like? would you let you child avoid people they don't like? would you believe them? would you sit in the discomfort of not knowing all the answers and not take it out on them? would you love your child the same if someone did hurt them? would you make them feel valued just as they are? would you let them talk to doctors or nurses in private? would you let them express their feelings? would you show interest in their life? would you let your child say no to you? would you help your child feel safe coming to you when they make a mistake? would you apologize to your child? would you believe them? would you put aside your anger to focus on what would make your child feel safe and loved? would you put your ego aside for your child? would you take your child's concerns seriously? would you listen to your child? would you believe them?

[soup-mother]

"Parents rights" is one of the most murderous concepts ever conceived

[liberalsarecool]

Republicans have regressed to become the tyrants and enemies of the country. MAGA can't govern in a democracy. We need to honor the original text and write a new Constitution.

[inhumaninterest]

Hey, remember back when he blew a gasket during his first term over NPR doing their annual reading of the Declaration of independence because he assumed it was about him?

'Cause I remember that.

[problemnyatic]

the most valueable skill a white leftist can ever learn is how to take an L with grace.

[problemnyatic]

You gotta be able to take an L if your moral and ethical belief systems are to be capable of guiding you. Otherwise you just have an idealized self where you get really mad and scared when anyone points out it isn't actually you. How the fuck are you gonna walk the walk if you can't handle being told when you are not, in fact, actually walking it

[problemnyatic]

you cannot just socially transition into being a good person you are going to have to settle for being a messy human being who has to try and fail and keep trying to get better like everyone else. yeah even when it's embarassing and sucks for you a lot.

[livseses]

Ya gotta learn to earnestly and honestly say "Oh shit, my bad."

[tartrazeen]

And to then end the sentence there, not launch into a paragraph of explanation or panicked super-apology.

[storm-of-feathers]

a childs most likely abuser is their family or a family friend so no i dont think isolating children to only their families, including online, will protect them ever.

[headspace-hotel]

contemplates writing a detailed guide to deradicalizing republican evangelicals for the billionth time

[headspace-hotel]

i've written out parts of my thoughts before, but nowadays is a different time with the absolutely unhinged paranoia about lgbtq people trying to "groom" your kids and weird ideas about "critical race theory" being promoted by politicians to stir fear

So...I would say that the key is, do not challenge people's deeply held feelings, impulses and beliefs about things, but rather argue based on values they share with you

I mean okay first of all, this is definitely going to be a controversial take, but if someone feels distaste and repulsion at the idea of a man dressing in drag, you're not going to "convince" them not to—and you don't have to, because feeling distaste about something someone else does is just...a feeling. Maybe they will unpack it on their own time, maybe they won't, but as uncomfortable as it may be to admit, feeling completely arbitrary distaste over another person's harmless action is a normal human thing and you've experienced it too. What actually matters is whether you learn to deal with this feeling in a healthy way or if you decide the feeling must be telling you that [thing] is objectively evil.

I get a lot of mileage out of saying things like "This is America and it's a free country, and we get to live how we want and express ourselves how we want even if the government doesn't like it." And I know people who, personally, believe that gay sex is "morally" wrong, but are staunchly pro-gay-marriage because they believe that it's a fundamental American value for people to be able to live their lives the way they see fit and to be treated equally to everyone else.

And I honestly do respect that? I respect people with a mature understanding of the fact that "My personal opinions and feelings on someone else's choices are not as important as their right to make those choices." I think this is something we all need to learn, because there will always be things that we will find we don't FEEL positively about, or don't personally think are good (nose jobs, recreational Benadryl, tattooing Dobby's face onto your chest, that one weird kink you think is gross) and that does NOT mean our personal feelings should be made into law and used to punish and harm people.

One thing that is a pretty consistent stated value among most American conservatives is personal freedom.

Recent events like book bans, drag bans, abortion bans, and trans healthcare bans are all attacks on personal freedom—the government stepping in to legislate what an individual can and cannot do. That is something that people across the political spectrum in America can and should be concerned about, even if they disagree on the issues involved.

Express your concerns that book bans open the door to the government arbitrarily restricting what information you can have access to. "I just don't think the government should be able to control what I can and can't read, as if the individual can't be trusted to think for themselves."

Likewise, banning drag gives the government the power to control how individuals dress and express themselves. If a public performance can be illegal based on how the performer is dressed, that can be used to arrest anybody that says anything in public that the authorities don't like. Clothes are assigned gender arbitrarily: pants used to be inappropriate for women, and men used to wear heels. Who is to say that a robe or a kilt is different than a dress? Ultimately, people have the right to live how they want in this country, and if a man wants to wear a dress, he can whether his neighbors like it or not.

Talk about how banning abortion and trans healthcare sets a precedent for the government controlling people's medical decisions. Why should someone need an outside authority to decide what medications they can and can't take?

DO remind people that what they see claimed by politicians and the internet is wildly out of touch with what the average person thinks and believes.

If someone tries to go the "But what about the children?" route, just straight-up "So you think that we need to reform public schools? See, I agree with you, I think it's very harmful for kids to be spending so much time in a public school environment being primarily influenced by the pressures and stressors there. If kids spend 8 hours at school and then have 5 hours of homework, of course they're parroting whatever their schools teach—they don't even have time to talk to their parents or other trusted people in their lives, and they're being forced to memorize so much stuff that they can't think critically about it! See, I would want my kids to have access to a big library with a wide variety of views, and teach them to think critically about different perspectives on a subject. These book bans are going to make sure kids never even get exposed to alternative viewpoints, and that's how you get adults that can't think!—"

Honestly censorship is hard to defend with a straight face, so the main thing here is to just defuse the irrational panic over critical race theory. If they try to allege some hypothetical book with hypothetical sexually explicit material, ask for details and watch them squirm.

Abortion is another one of those things you will not be able to change someone's feelings on, so you must focus on several things:

the reasons WHY people have abortions, and how better education, health care, and financial resources for mothers (like paid maternity leave) would decrease this number. Yes, abortion will never be fully eliminated, but please stop emphasizing this and instead emphasize how in an ideal world, abortion would only HAVE to be sought in the most tragic circumstances because people could either prevent pregnancy before it happened or get sterilized if they are sure they don't want kids.

the fact that pregnancy and birth are very risky and carry the likelihood of severe bodily harm and death. Absolutely have examples of awful pregnancy/birth complications on hand—personal to you or people you know if possible. There is a real effective argument to be made that regardless of personhood of the fetus, protecting oneself against severe harm to one's person is a human right that people have.

bonus: ask them WHY they think rape is harmful/bad. This question (provided they agree with the premise) brings into sharp relief the fact that the physical boundaries of a person's body are inherently meaningful in some way. Deflect and ignore any attempt to twist your argument into the fetus somehow being a "perpetrator" of a crime. Repeatedly assert that the purpose of abortion is not to "punish" the fetus (which cannot suffer and cannot experience punishment) and shut down any claim that is based on "it's wrong to punish the fetus" as a straw man.

Judges and politicians cannot be trusted to determine when abortion is best practice or medically necessary, because they're not doctors and do not have medical expertise. The legal system cannot be trusted to determine if your wife had a miscarriage or not.

Also bring up proposed abortion death penalty bills. It is legitimately open season for "I told you so" on a million things pro-lifers insisted were baseless paranoia.

And honestly? A lot of people who would have considered themselves "conservative" DO find recent developments alarming, so again, your main job is to defuse the cult-ish fear and paranoia of thinking disloyal thoughts

[conservativemalarkey]

This is solid, and good advice.

[torchickentacos]

'Just switch to linux', 'Just switch to firefox', 'Just switch to ellipsus', 'Just buy a VPN and pirate it' okay, or- hear me out- tech companies can stop making their products worse, because I shouldn't have to change my entire workflow and spend time and money learning new programs and tools just to have a bearable online experience

[fred-the-dinosaur]

Also, as someone doing all those things? It is still categorically a much worse computing experience than just owning a box fresh computer fifteen plus years ago.

[fred-the-dinosaur]

I am quite good at picking things up. I am not afraid of the command line. I have a pet techy-person to sanity check me.

And I cannot yet replicate the simple system-wide cursor navigation I have been using for the last fifteen years. I can't write on it because I have to use the damn mouse to move the cursor.

It has taken me 6 months to get my new Linux computer usable. (some of that is health issues but some of that is fucking Linux)

I had to purchase an entire trackball because I still can't get basic accessibility features on the track pad. Again, 15+year old features.

Lots of sites block my proton VPN. I can't use world cat at all, or the local government reference pages. Many others I can use but I have to keep rotating countries to stop them freezing up. It's a clunky and friction-filled experience.

Firefox doesn't change that all the websites look like viruses and scroll like a typographers fever dream. And the menus and interface are hot garbage.

I AM relearning my entire workflow and spending time and money and it's not even reached the giddy heights of bearable. Quite a lot of the time you do all this and it is actually pretty damn unbearable still. And I haven't even tried to do professional level work on it!

And yeah it's worth it for me and I think more people should do it, but it's also a lot of fucking work and those people should get to be fucking salty about it.

[byjove]

I know I’ve made this post before but I’m listening to a documentary series on reproductive healthcare and I CANNOT STAND the ‘your body knows what to do!’ rhetoric about birth that is shoveled at pregnant people. I think it is meant to be empowering and reassuring but that is such a dangerous thing to be telling pregnant people. You see first time parents extremely upset their birth plan failed and they had to go to the hospital because they expected their body to know what to do and feel like a failure because they started struggling. If the human body always knew what to do, pregnancy and birth complications wouldn’t be one of the leading causes of death throughout history. You can be the healthiest person alive and have the best medical care surrounding you and still have a medically traumatic birth because literally anything can go wrong at anytime for any reason.

[morimess]

We are told in nursing school over and over during the Maternity term that a lot of people will feel the need to push before they are fully dilated.

This is such a common issues, that it is very frequently put on our state test for licensure (the NCLEX for people in the States). If the person was to push without being fully dilated, they can seriously injured themselves and/or the baby.

But the body is telling them they can.

Sometimes the body will make contractions so frequent and last for so long that the person pushing doesn't have time to properly recover between them.

This leads to excess fatigue, which can make the birthing process take longer. It can also lead to complications with the baby, as it cannot get enough oxygen/blood flow if the uterus is in constant stress.

But it's the body that is contracting like this.

Some people's bodies will go into overdrive while their pregnant, and put them into pre-eclampsia. Where the blood pressure spikes to dangerous levels, the urine is full of protein because the kidneys can't keep up, and cause excessive swelling in the hands and feet.

The only thing separating pre-eclampsia from being eclampsia is the presence of seizures.

Being pregnant can cause your body to have seizures.

And the only real cure for is to get the baby out, and wait for a couple of days for all the pregnancy hormones to leave your system.

But it's your body, and your hormones that did that to you.

If someone is Rh negative, and their first baby is Rh positive- then the immune system will attack any future fetus's that are Rh positive, because the body has been sensitized to Rh positive blood.

This is because the two blood types are incompatible, but it doesn't happen with A, B, AB, or O blood types- just the Rh factor.

But the body sees the fetus- wanted or unwanted- as a threat

Some people's bodies won't go into labor until weeks after the due date. A common issue for babies born after their due date is that they will pass their first bowel movement (meconium) while still in the uterus.

This is more of a problem for the baby, as it can aspirate on the meconium when it tries to breathe for the first time- but it can also cause issues like infection for the mother.

But the body, just, didn't go into labor on time.

For others- the body goes into labor too early. The baby isn't fully developed.

But the body went into labor early.

There are some people that the postpartum hormone drop is the worst. Issues such as postpartum depression and psychosis are not nearly talked about enough.

The added stress of having a new baby with everything that entails, on top of your body's rapidly shifting hormones makes people's brains do some awful things to them.

Some of these issues are exasperated by society and the support system (or lack thereof).

But a lot of it boils down to the body making and getting rid of pregnancy hormones

Some people's uterus doesn't go back down to a normal shape on it's own- and the person can continue to bleed profusely after having the baby.

Their body is to blame

Some people don't produce enough milk to feed their baby.

Their body is to blame

This is just a few example of how the body can be misleading during birth and pregnancy.

Your body doesn't know Jack shit.

Yes, women have been giving birth in fields for the past millennia. But many women have also died giving birth, and continue to die due to complications surrounding pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period.

"Your body will know what to do"? Get fucked. For some people, the body will try to kill them and their baby if we left it to its own devices.

[dxmedstudent]

Yes, all of this. It's so invalidating of people's concerns, and honestly? pretty darn patronising. "You go mama, your body knows what do to, you don't need any kind of support or medical intervention! Here's a MLM thingummy that's "natural" instead!" is not empowering or helpful.

Death is natural. Complications are natural. What our body knows to do...is meaningless because our body can, and frequently does, fuck up in ways that can, and sometimes will, kill us. And for way too long we've let people downplay the risks of pregnancy and birth because society didn't want women turned off having children. It also makes people feel really, really bad when things go wrong because they were taught to place WAY too much emphasis on having a "good" birth or pregnancy that fits some kind of instagrammable criteria, without needing intervention, rather than managing the best things they can manage under the circumstances that arise. We don't do a good enough job of preparing people for the challenges, and that it can be normal to struggle - because it's a big thing to happen.

In reality, what's saved people from dying at levels people died in the middle ages is access to antenatal care and timely support throughout pregnancy and child birth. It's being listened to, and heard, and their concerns being taken seriously. And it's being reassured that IF there are complications, the main thing is that it's dealt with safely and in a timely manner, that gives you a living birthing parent and baby, hopefully with as little trauma as possible. IME many pf the people making people feel worse are other moms and professionals who pressured birthing parents to have the perfect pregnancy and birth, and the perfect post partum period, and breastfeed perfectly - in a world where that just can't always happen.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

white lady hr rep at work is advising us to always call the police if anything "gives you the ick" which I gotta say is a crazy flippant way to talk about something that regularly gets people brutalized or worse

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

but that's also like. that really is it isn't it. americans (or at least Some americans, you know which ones) really are encouraged to use the police as a tool to get rid of things that make us* uncomfortable. hey there's a guy who doesn't have a house sleeping in the park and he's not bothering anyone but it makes me feel weird, better call the cops. that peaceful demonstration is getting a little too loud, better call the cops. saw a black guy existing and got nervous, better call the cops. heard somebody speaking spanish and that freaks me out for some reason, better call the cops. got the ick, better call the cops!!!

*"us" used deliberately; as a white american and as a white cisgender woman especially, systemic police violence is absolutely set up to benefit me as much as my hr rep. my being queer does not negate that.

[sottopressione1]

Tuira Kayapó brandished her machete in the face of a government official who was trying to convince indigenous leaders to accept a mega-dam project in the Amazon, 1989

[lesbianmichelmishina]

“Electricity won’t give us food. We need the rivers to flow freely. Don’t talk to us about relieving our ‘poverty’ – we are the richest people in Brazil. We are Indians.”

part of kayapó’s speech during this event

also! she’s still alive! that sort of thing is always worth pointing out to show that we really aren’t too far removed from events like this! here’s a 2019 photo of her:

[shinytarountula]

I just checked, she passed away in August 2024 - but not before working with a filmmaker to make an hour long movie where she explains her life and her activism. If you want to hear what she has to say for herself, here’s the opportunity.

Movie is ‘Tuire Kayapó’ (First Contact) by Pınar Yolaçan, in case the link breaks

[annabelle--cane]

harm reduction dislikers will say shit like "I see that a problem has occurred. my plan for how to handle the problem is to make everyone pretend that it has not, in fact, occurred. if you try to treat the problem then I will give you a second and significantly Worse problem on purpose."

[annabelle--cane]

obvs the purpose of the system is what it does, the majority of, like, politicians who push this kind of stuff very clearly approve of the problems and are actively problemmaxxing, but I come across regular laypeople all the time who seem to genuinely think this works. comrade, what the fuck are you doing.

[annabelle--cane]

"we have to make problems illegal to discourage people from having them" we already tried that several times "well we will make them DOUBLE illegal this time" ??????