Restless Art

I am an artist, a home educating mother, one wife in a poly D/s triad, with chronic illnesses that cause invisible disability. Fae in attitude, approach, appearance. “My soul is impatient with itself, as with a bothersome child; its restlessness keeps growing and is forever the same. Everything interests me, but nothing holds me. I attend to everything, dreaming all the while." (Fernando Pessoa)

[tai-korczak]

23 Emotions people feel, but can’t explain

Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.

Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.

Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.

Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.

Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening

Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.

Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.

Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.

Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.

Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.

Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.

Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.

Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.

Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.

Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

[restlessart]

I gave an Uber driver a 4 rating and only a $2 tip for the first time ever today. I didn't even feel like a monster. She had been smoking in the car before I got in and it smelled awful, and the mitigation was air "freshener" and open windows (on a pollen-heavy day). I have something-we’re-assuming-in-the-absence-of-test-results-to-be-MCAS. Sorry not sorry, when I have to spend a 10 minute drive breathing through my mouth and I arrive at my destination reeking and sniffling we have a problem... not to mention the spoons I lost to her carelessness before I even got to my precious lunch out with a friend that I’ve been saving up for.

[katya]

ghibli movies are so cleansing, you watch one and then you get this sudden rush of motivation to bake something, or go for a walk, or make a significant change in your life etc., it’s truly amazing

[suspend]

why are boys hot and cute like wtf take a break

[jeesusperse]

half of the notes on this post are people going “um i think you meant girls and also i hate boys they are disgusting” and the other half is boys going “this isnt about me nobody could ever feel that way about me” like do you maybe see a connection here?? and also could you stop??

[darling-cannibal]

Boys are so cute!!! Small soft boys! Big buff boys! Tall skinny boys! In between boys! Boys are adorable!!!!!!!!!!!

[coyotl-io]

i’m not even attracted to boys but yes??? can confirm???

[shlitoris]

Boys are amazing, especially nice ones who sympathize with you and make you feel beautiful even if you look like shit.

[benegesserwitch]

Soft boys! Trans boys! Boys with chubby cheeks! Skinny boys! Lanky boys! Boys with acne scars! Boys who run! Boys who draw! Boys who cuddle! Asian boys! Black boys! Brown boys! Pale boys! Short boys! Quiet boys! Funny boys! Boys with anxiety! Boys with autism! Dyslexic boys! ADHD boys! Athletic boys! Math boys! Boys who grew up watching history documentaries! Gamer boys! Fashion boys! ALL THE  BOYS!

[peridot-loves-all-star]

👏👏👏 GOOD POST

[universesinhermind]

BOYS!!!!!

[audi0medic]

After all the boy-dragging that goes on on this hellsite, thank you

[emphatically-enthusiastic]

Appreciate boys with good souls

[magicalcake-deactivated20230604]

Kind hearted boys deserve the world

[pinkonionfairy-deactivated20180]

Dont listen to the awful people on this site. Boys are amazing, cute and so great

[tranny-levi-deactivated20180721]

Boys!!

[asianpastry-blog1]

CHUBBY BOYS WITH CUTE CHEEKS AND THE FRECKLED BOYS AND THE TALL LANKY BOYS AND THE TRANS BUFF BOYS AND THE TRANS FEMININE BOYS AND FEMININE BOYS IN GENERAL JUST ALL BOYS SOFT OR TOUGH 💕💕

[smolwaterbean-deactivated201903]

listen i’m such a fucking lesbian but boys? A+ they’re awesome

[proffesionaldumbass-deactivated]

Even us lesbians love you boys you can be brave and soft and strongd and hansome and shy, yall are fucking cool and being friends with boys is amazing bcctheyre smart and funny!

[sirmalican]

@lonely-boiii stahp being so prettyyy

[restlessart]

Sometimes I don't realize how disabled I actually am until I see photos/video of other artists in their studios doing things that I can't legitimately contemplate doing. Like standing to paint. Or sitting on a backless stool with feet down. Or rolling out ink to print.

It's not depressing so much as validating, usually. I adapt naturally, but I need to also sometimes realize that there are things I could be doing if I just adjust a bit of my processes and/or ask for help more often.

We’re currently going through prep for an international move, so I’m not in the studio a lot right now but I’m thinking a lot about what my studio practice is going to look like in the near future. One of the things I'm considering for after the move is incorporating a part-time studio assistant. So we'll see how that goes. I can't contemplate what I would have someone else do at the moment, but this is a new stage of my career and my illness and so I need to think outside the box a bit to be able to push through without retreating.

[shiruki]

[restlessart]

Us <3 

[restlessart]

Molly Tuttle - Good Enough [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

[beeth0ven]

the thing is i really genuinely dont mind being disabled. all my talk of radical self love and die hard cripple punk ideals is completely real. lots of (abled bodied) people think that being in a wheelchair is the worst part. that being disabled  is the worst part. it’s not. being sick is the worst part. i hate being sick. i hate the constant pain and hospital trips and surgeries. i can fight inaccessibility and ableism until i am red in the face but i am so tired of fighting my own body. i have no problem with being disabled, i just want to be healthy too. or at least stable

[restlessart]

This is true. I’ve been sick so much and it’s changing and worsening these days and I hate it. But the wheelchair? That’s fun and fine and screw you if you don’t like me being in it. I love that freaking fun machine, it moves me places and keeps me from feeling sicker.

[exananas]

"I thought that that was normal"

-The international EDS motto

[spoonielols]

When someone asks how you're doing on a flare day...

[sailorsmoon]

[restlessart]

Howl & Sophie 4ever <3

[restlessart]

We got snow last night so the kids are doing their thing, and I’m not too dizzy or having a bad pain day!

So I got in the studio to finally get some color on this piece for my co-wife (I gave her the commission opportunity for her birthday in August… last August… lol). It’s got a ton of special symbolism and I’m really excited about it!

[starshardfragments]

How to deal with street cats

Be nice to them. They’re doing an important job. Do not chase them, grab them or harass them. 

Always bring some food with you, it’s just polite. 

Approach them slowly, and let them come to you. Sometimes you might have to sit on the ground and tap it a few times. This is what you brought food for. 

At some point after you have managed to touch the cat it will turn and sprint away. This is when you start following it.

Cats do not want you to get lost, but they can be fast. Never lose sight of them, you should stay with it until your return. This might still look like your usual street but you are in a liminal space already. Try not to get lost. 

(NOTE: do not follow cats with mismatched eyes. You can pet them, but the moment they run away you should immediately turn your back to them and walk in the opposite direction.)

Black cats:

Follow black cats into the floor-level vents. Don’t worry, there are many spider webs but there aren’t any spiders.

Do not lose sight of them in the dark.

When you emerge, you will be in the same street you were before, but there will be no people to be found.

Do not stray, follow your cat. Sometimes it might want to just catch a bird and go back. Do not stay longer just to explore.

 If you hear the sound of a crowd in the distance do not try to follow it. Your cat will never lead you there.

You can take anything with you but you cannot take pictures or record video or sound.

Orange cats:

Orange cats hang around train stations for a reason. Follow them into the next train. You will not need a ticket.

If the cat wants you to scratch its ears during the trip, do it.

The landscape will not look like the area around your town.  Do not panic - this is normal.

The people in the train will not speak a language you understand or recognize, but they will have clothes and devices similar to yours. They are usually nice.

Get down at the same stop as your cat. You will not understand the name of the station, and no one will get off in the same station as yours. You should follow your cat, but it will never leave the station. Follow it into the next train to get back home.

Never stay in the train. Never wait for the last stop.

White cats:

White cats live on the edges. They will take you to many places but at the same time they will never take you anywhere.

If you meet them during the night-time, the sun will start rising, regardless of the time. If you meet them during the daytime, the sun will start setting. It will stay like this for the duration of the trip.

Follow them to the edge of a forest that smells like honeysuckle. You will hear the song of birds and the flow of water. You should never stray and enter the forest on your own. Your cat will not follow.

Follow them to a building where a fancy party is being held at. Through the windows you can see the food and the champagne. The guests will ask you to join them, but your cat will keep walking. Do not accept the invitation, and never eat the food or drink the champagne.

Follow them along the edge of a swimming pool. People will be bathing, playing and laughing. It will be hot, regardless of the season. Do not step too close to the edge, because they will try to grab your ankles and pull you into the water. Keep walking.

Once the sun finally sets or rises you will be back home. Never enter your house until you are completely sure the sky is changing.

Calico cats:

Calico cats are the safest. They will follow you instead.

Walk around your town and you will see everything is the same, but you will not be able to make the connections between the streets.

If you want to go to a certain place you will find it is no longer where it used to be.

You will not recognize anyone. Every single person in the street will be a stranger. They are not dangerous but do not look them directly in the eyes.

Never try to find your house. Because you will find it.

When you want to come back take the cat back where you found it. This might be more difficult than you expect.

Remember to always take some food with you, something make of iron, and comfortable shoes.

And remember to always be nice to the cats!

[if you like my writing consider buying me a coffee? your girl works night shifts ;u;]  @senshi76 gave me the suggestion for this one!

[elodieunderglass]

Oh I love this!

[animatedamerican]

WELL THIS TOOK AN UNEXPECTED TURN EARLY IN

[breelandwalker]

STRAY CAT GOTHIC

[appleoftheireye]

This is so cool I love this

[restlessart]

Always bring food.

[faefolksuggestion]

You disturbed the rock you found in the field.

I would really, really consider putting it back, or this will only get worse.

[authentically-avalon]

See this is going to be hard since I have been collecting rocks and sticks since I was a child…

[faefolksuggestion]

That’s fine.

We collect houses.

[authentically-avalon]

All I ever wanted to do was live beyond the mist. Between the world’s. Of none, of all.

[faefolksuggestion]

Then go live there. But quit taking our houses and calling it collecting. Ugh.

[thebabadoof-blog]

Im very sorry for my ignorance on this. If i need to pick any flowers or take rocks in future, i’ll make sure to leave offerings in return

[faefolksuggestion]

THIS is how you do it! This is it! Basic! Courtesy! Thank you! Fairy kisses to you! They’re like normal ones but sparkly!

[restlessart]

We must re-teach the next generation.

[byerlyv]

“You walk at home? Do you even need your wheelchair?”

Yes, because walking in my own house is different than walking class to class at school. I don’t carry a heavy backpack at home. I’m not on a tight schedule at home. I can sit on the ground at home. I can ask my parents or siblings to help me at home. I can crawl on my hands and knees at home. I can lie in the middle of the hallway at home. I can sit on counters and tables at home. I can bear a lot of pain at home. I can show that pain at home. I can collapse in the middle of crawling up the staircase at home.

Don’t tell me or anyone else where or when they need to use their mobility device

[restlessart]

This. I need to internalize and memorize this.

[restlessart]

I just realized that my body is like oobleck: sometimes a solid, sometimes a liquid. Sometimes it snaps, sometimes it oozes. When I move I break and bend too far at the joints and when I sit still my joints just fall out of their sockets with gravity. Fun for all ages!

[loumargi]

Frederick Leighton Idilliya_s_1880-81