I do not exist do not perceive me

Buttered Egg roll

[were--ralph]

Joker flavored Mountain Dew called Haha Blast

[evengirlierballs]

I hope when you descend to the lowest circle of hell, the ashes of your dearest loved ones staining your eyes red, that it will sting, and the pain will remind you of me before you are reduced to the nothingness of nonexistence.

[were--ralph]

Shrek flavored Sprite called Shite

[dragon-in-a-fez]

even two years after my divorce I still occasionally look back and notice a red flag in a new way. today I'm thinking about how the first time we had a major fight it was because I said I wished I could live on the moon. and they got upset because I "didn't consider how they would feel". about, and I cannot stress this enough, me moving to the moon.

[just-a-little-dead-inside]

[caffeinated--trauma-ferret]

😔🥀 IBS rn

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[prostheticknowledge]

Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

[johnnystompanado-deactivated201]

the time is now

[susaine-mcswiney-deactivated201]

hell yeah

[defibrinationsyndrome]

ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda

[spiffymuffin]

[caterjunes]

it’s called the purple ramjet

[jolys]

which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

[grillmasterxbbq]

shove a vase up your ass

[lord-kitschener]

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

[fan-troll]

i call it the matterhorn

[poultrymancy]

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

[darklightescape]

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

[teapotsahoy]

of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

[furiousfran]

I call this one the Megahorny

Just cram an entire table lamp up there

[ifitaintbaroque]

Me every time this post crosses my dash:

[rosegardenmassacre-deactivated2]

My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

[prettyyinpunk]

Plate. 

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog

[in3ffable-husbands-deactivated2]

Compiling some of the best ones from the replies-

[ragingbookdragon-deactivated201]

How you gonna do us like that bruh???

[mysukisilentdeath]

ITS BACK

[ivory-reverie]

M U S H R O O M

[bill-nye-official-blog]

en garde

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

ONE WILLIAM NOTES

[transgwender616]

Monsterfucking is so normalized on Tumblr I kinda forgot it even counted as a kink. I thought it was like liking boobs on girls. The basic normal stuff most people like.

[isabelopaque]

Reminded me of my mutuals

[nonplusagon]

we are the daughters of the hamburgers you couldn't help

[cowboyhatesithere]

Daily gratitude

I don’t have kids

I don’t spend money on nicotine

I don’t gamble my money away on sports

I’m not reliant on a chat bot for all my life functions

My books/CDs/DVDs collection is plentiful

[frogmoss1]

My pussy barks

[lord-kitschener]

[thedreadpiratecam]

Why he light skinned?

[yourladyindank]

Because Martin Luther was white and German.

[fancynewaddress]

did…

did someone confuse Luther with Jesus omg

[lookwhathappenedtomack]

I suspect they confused him with Martin Luther King

[lets-talk-about-sects]

Oh no

[the-golden-ghost]

I mean, I get mixing them up based on names alone, but I’m concerned about the people who think Martin Luther King Jr. routinely wrote with a quill or dressed like a Renaissance man.

[twofacetoo]

At that point it’s your own damn fault for making that kind of mistake

[janiedean]

but why is martin luther the fastest sold playmobil figurine

[protoindoeuropean]

Protestants be shoppin

[lucerei]

[elamarth-calmagol]

Trainwreck of a post

[egirlbutternubs]

I tried to slip CBD gummies into some kids halloween candy like i saw on the news but the kids recognized them and laughed at me for not having any real weed

[distributing-direwolves]

These are the sort of people that would lose their life savings to a guy doing three card monte on a street corner if he was wearing a zoot suit and introduced himself as "Vinnie 'Quickfingers' Sanchez".

[fr0gley]

Juggle man: *juggling*

Dangerous crow boy: are those plastic

Juggle man:

Dangerous crow boy: *crunching noises*

Juggle man: my balls :(

Dangerous crow boy: yeah whatever ping pong boy

And then they kiss

[saurons-pr-department]

2024 is the year we stop “consuming” and go back to “reading/watching/listening to/playing” things

[were--ralph]

Is it OK to still consume cum or

[ferallindsay]

no you have to "guzzle" it this year

[samlickereightyone]

MICHAEL MYERS WAS 21?????????????

[samlickereightyone]

he should’ve been at the clubbbbbb……..

[helloitsbees]

[magiconic]

You'll never get my tasty morsels, Crow Boy

[haaarpb]

a bedtime comic.