Don't Blink. Don't Even Blink

(She/Her) Hello. I'm a bored 30-year-old that spends way to much time blogging about, Achievement Hunter, Harry Potter/Drarry atm. With occasional random fandoms thrown in. Enjoy! Men Who Love Dragons Too Much Podfic

[hymnism]

making a collection

[putridghost]

Wait I have more

[acemingo]

[dragonpyre]

Ngl I totally forgot fandom discourse was a thing. I don’t care man, I have car payments

[rootbeerrex]

starting a collection

[clever-fandom-reference]

If I may submit:

[kisskisscantfallinlove]

[lesbianshepard]

Current twitter drama is Europeans confidently declaring that they don't need to drive or use overpriced public transport to get to the MetLife stadium for the World Cup; they will simply walk down the highway to get there. Girl it's New Jersey. They're gonna splatter you for fun.

[lesbianshepard]

If you manage to get on the turnpike before the cops stop you, a soccer mom is gonna do the Jersey slide in a RAV4 and turn your entire group into a wet speedbump

[bunjywunjy]

this? you want to walk down this????

please say sike

[bunjywunjy]

IT'S NOT A FUCKING STREET ITS AN 8-LANE SUPERHIGHWAY THAT GOES OVER A SWAMP

[hapalopus]

footpath

[bunjywunjy]

that is grass. just like ur ass, if you try to walk this thing

[phantomomo]

Image me gently taking your hand as I tell you the following:

This is ABSOLUTELY a perfectly fine footpath.

In fact, with how much space I’m seeing here, it is entirely plausible, that the European hordes will just create a temporary little Wanderweg right next to the highway. With that much space they might not even have to interfere with traffic.

But also have you seen the space between your highways? I‘d say the gaps each easily fit another whole stream of European walking hordes. Or maybe even two going opposite directions :D

[bunjywunjy]

tightly grips your hand with both of my sweaty hands.

the grass is not a permanent feature. there just happens to be a chunk of it there. the side of the road can vary from grass to swampwater ditches to steep embankments to absolutely nothing within a very short distance.

they will call in every highway enforcer in the state and mass incarcerate the lot of you before they allow you to Darwin Award yourselves across 6 lanes of traffic into an international incident or, (their real concern) impede the progress of the single most important north-south interstate corridor in america, ball kicky game be damned.

(I'm starting to believe that a fair number of you in the notes have We're Better Than Stupid Americans embedded so deeply into your cultural identity that you will Just Not Listen to anything we say to you about the material circumstances about the place we live in, rather than taking us at our word that there is a reason that most Americans travel the way we do and it's a good reason.)

[captainlordauditor]

"it's not cool to walk across the autobahn but-" YOU ARE PROPOSING WALKING ACROSS THE AUTOBAHN.

[magnetothemagnificent]

I cannot emphasize this enough that I-95 is like the Autobahn of the East Coast. I'm a very stubborn walker. My friends and family will attest to this. I hate cars and don't drive and my primary mode of transportation is walking supplemented by public transportation. But I would never try to walk I-95 regardless of what state I was in, certainly not New fucking Jersey.

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

I feel lied to. This is where the bugs bunny NO meme cokes from

[an-enigmatic-mind]

[liquid-geodes]

Ah lads they fucking rotated him

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

[kalianos]

[yan-town]

[ythok]

Me, reading this whole post:

[pope74220]

NOW it’s you

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Oh yea? Well guess what bro

[polyphonetic]

[fallenwillow44]

Best post I've seen all day

[dat-physics-gal]

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

[ericvilas]

[galacticsabc]

I don't even know the tone of this comic. Is it funny? is it sad? is it both? who knows!

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[kickingshoes]

Hellavua Dads! Hope the Hellaverse can crossover at some point, we'd love to see Lucifer and Blitz meet.

This was supposed to be a short doodle and spiraled into a full 13 page comic ahaha

Special thanks to @velkynkarma for coming up with the funniest parts of Blitz's dialogue

[transparentgentlemenmarker]

Les dances à travers le monde

[apollosdrunkenmixup]

my favourite thing about this is some are very traditional dances integral to that country/culture; and some are one individuals favourite move

and he approaches all of them with enthusiasm and a surprising amount of skill

[sani-86]

Watching this makes me happy

[himbodiaz]

would y’all ever date someone with the same name as you?

[hmslusitania]

I’m sorry for adding directly to a post but I went to a wedding once where the groom’s name was Loren and the bride’s name was Lauren and at the end the officiant was all “introducing Loren [surname] and Lauren [surname], husband and wife” and the entire assembled lost it

[tevankinkley]

also sorry for adding on but at my high school there was a Dominic and a Dominique who were dating and everyone just called them “Dom and Dommer” which is honestly the funniest shit ever

[faerytale-wings]

My parents are both named Terry (spelled differently) but I’m pretty sure that’s one of the reasons my mom never changed her last name.

People would call and ask for Terry and child me would be like “boy or girl?” And they’d panic and hang up. My mom found this endlessly amusing.

[tungledotfuck]

Why would you leave this GOLD in the tags??

[faerytale-wings]

Had to submit it to the tags for peer review

[snottysocks]

I love Stargate dearly, but every so often I need to reprocess the fact that the main series villains are:

Cunty little worms

Sentient grey Lego bricks

The Spanish Inquisition

[preserving-tiktok]

[taraljc]

This is an awesome use of what is probably a master's degree if not a doctorate and I am 100% thrilled that she shared it even though it was embarrassing and she squeaked.

[liminalbeauty]

Thank you, adorable scientist, for making people's lives better.

[punchspeedchunk]

As an Australian, THIS WOMAN IS A FUCKING GODSEND.

[weaselle]

Californian (sup, fellow desert-havers) i've been using this since i saw it and it works so fucken good dude (i often have to put like 8 dogs in my car, so it's extra important my car isn't attempting to go super-nova when we get in)

[sandstripe]

As a Florida native going through a very hot summer I can’t wait to try this!

[myxomoon]

HAPPY PRIDE FROM OUR AROACE KING!!

Different variant ideas

[kaccsasu-tnm]

[bananiii-0]

[marth-garhengi]

I think my girl Samantha Carter deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as Ellen Ripley and Sarah Connor.

Major/Lieutenant Colonel Sam being the brains WITH brawn (and a crack shot to boot) of SG-1, saving our Galaxy a dozen times over while getting the respect she deserves from her peers. Doesn't let something like a little crush on her Commanding Officer slow her down. Literally her ONLY drawback is the occasional bout of poor writing.

Goes through hell over and over without hesitation and always manages to pull her team out of the fire, kicking many asses along the way.

Truly one of the Sci-Fi Women of all time.

[pinche-aquarius]

Keep up the great work, lads

[mayax81]

[snakebites-and-ink]

I love how this addition would be absolutely incomprehensible almost anywhere else but we know exactly what it means

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

[relevant-wikipedia-articles]

Crumple zone - Wikipedia

[librarychair]

The amount of safety features incorporated into modern cars is unreal. I've seen crashes where the car flipped over and the occupant only had minor injuries. My dad was t-boned by someone speeding off the highway and walked away with a broken arm. The car was completely smashed except for the passenger compartment, which was curtained on all sides with airbags. That one manufacturer has decided they are exempt from implementing all these advancements disgusting and terrifying

When I was going through driver's ed I was taught that the steering column would stab through your chest if you crashed head on and that was just the way it was. We do not want to go back, not even a little

[foone]

The point of car safety features is that the car is supposed to die in an accident so you don't have to. Your car should be a pile of smoking rubble after an accident, and you should be fine.

[a-teacup-of-golden-cracks]

[elalmadelmar]

I totaled my first car. Like, the car itself just stopped where the windshield met the dashboard. Ahead of that point, there was no more car. It was gone.

Me? I had some really spectacular bruises and a lil friction burn on my nose from where Mr. Airbag and Ms. Glasses had a disagreement. That's it. That's it.

I was driving a little tiny coupe and went more or less head-on with a pickup truck. The entire engine and hood of my car was twisted rubble that was not connected to the rest of the car afterward. I sat down on the verge, about twenty or thirty feet from the accident, while I waited for the cops and EMTs to work their way through the traffic backup to get to us, and found that I was sitting beside one of the headlights of my car. The whole entire headlight, bulb and reflector and cover and frame and all.

All I had were bruises and that little friction burn. That's it.

Crumple zones save lives. So do seatbelts and airbags; half the bruising was the exact shape of my seatbelt in livid crimson and black on my torso. It was and remains the most insanely intense bruising I have ever experienced in my life. BUT IT WAS JUST BRUISING!! Unpleasant, sure, but eminently survivable and didn't even require much treatment beyond not wearing a bra for a few days. But all the force that created that spectacular bruising was force that wasn't flinging me through the windshield or impaling me on the steering column. My car crumpled and crushed and dissolved but it held me safe and secure and protected.

Crumple zones save lives. You do not want your car to look undamaged after the accident, because that means it made like a Newton's Cradle and passed every bit of the impact straight through to your soft and highly crushable body.

[hellenhighwater]

This is not my usual content, but as a result of my job, I see the aftermath of many extremely fatal car crashes. And I will add, just to emphasize: your car is the product of thousands of engineers and decades of research aimed towards the goal of protecting your body in its seat inside the car. However: this relies, significantly, on your body staying in its seat. Your seatbelt is crucially important in keeping you alive. With your seatbelt, you are locked into the safest place in your vehicle. Without your seatbelt, you are a soft projectile in a rapidly collapsing metal structure. Wear your seatbelt.