love wins
hello vonnie
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Sade Olutola
almost home

Love Begins

titsay

oozey mess

shark vs the universe
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Jules of Nature
will byers stan first human second

PR's Tumblrdome

#extradirty

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Xuebing Du
art blog(derogatory)
🪼
Three Goblin Art
trying on a metaphor

roma★

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@sarahlefty
love wins
You're right but don't say it like that
I’m not going to tag any of the original PHM posts I’ve seen across various platforms with this take bc (1) they seem to be mainly informed by a movie-only perspective, and (2) I don’t respect Andy Weir enough as an author to insist that reading his work is vital to understanding this story. But I’ve seen various posts going around to the effect that “Ryland Grace loved his life and loved Earth so much, and this is why being forced onto the mission was such a Great Tragedy (TM)” when that’s…not really???? True???? At ALL??? Of Ryland Grace????
The ENTIRE POINT of Grace’s arc is that he is a Coward, with a capital C. He is a coward not only in his refusal of the Hail Mary mission, but in the way he lives his life before the Petrova Line was ever discovered. Grace has no close friends or coworkers, no pets or hobbies, no partners (short or long term), no family that we know of. His two main drives in life are (1) being a Cool Teacher to his students, and (2) nursing a grudge over getting kicked out of academia for proposing wild theories about life forms not based on water. As Stratt ACCURATELY points out, both of these things have large self-serving components. Grace genuinely loves his students and is good at teaching, but it’s at least partially because his classroom allows him to demand respect and attention without returning emotional vulnerability in the same way a peer relationship would. His academic theories were also largely motivated by a desire to be The Specialest Boy - and while Grace DOES prove himself very smart and capable, his pet theory wasn’t supported by his work with astrophage. Grace doesn’t jump at the chance to work with Stratt when she first approaches him, and he isn’t out there Living LIfe to the Fullest every day. He ADMITS to himself and to Stratt that he IS a coward, both for the way he’s lived up to PHM and for refusing to go on the mission when the timeline made it clear that there wasn’t enough time to bring another candidate up to speed and have the same odds of success. He straight up tells Stratt that he’ll sabotage Project Hail Mary if she tries to force him, DESPITE HIM KNOWING that Earth is headed for a literal apocalyptic Ice Age, and that everyone on the planet - including his beloved students!- has a pretty good chance of DYING if the mission doesn’t succeed! Stratt has to give him a coma cocktail that induces mild amnesia, and bet on him being at least good Enough (TM) not to kill the whole planet because he hated her for doing this to him.
(Also no hate for Eva Stratt, I love her and I will SUPPORT THIS WOMAN’S WRONGS until my dying day, she committed so many crimes and I cheered the whole way)
Despite Ryan Gosling’s very pretty Sad Boi eyes and sweaters, Ryland Grace is NOT a manic pixie dream scientist in love with Earth and its life and cultures. He just ISN’T. And if he WERE, then. Well. He certainly didn’t love Earth enough to fully embrace it while he was here, OR to volunteer to save it when he had the chance. This IS one of those situations where the distinction between “I love life” and “I don’t want to die” is a meaningful one. Does this make Grace a Cancelled Villain of All Time? No - it makes him a coward, but that doesn’t mean he inherently deserved to die. Does it ethically or morally justify forcing him onto a suicide mission while he fought and pleaded not to go? No! It makes Grace ORDINARY. Just some average fucking guy, not evil but not valiant, either. It’s like trying to claim Laika was the top search and rescue dog in the city when she got put into the pod. You don’t NEED to give Ryland Grace all these Tender Tragic Qualities of “loving Earth/Life” to have empathy for this poor dude who got launched into space.
In fact, Grace’s arc DEPENDS on him STARTING from that place of “I don’t really have a reason to be here” to “I have EVERY reason to turn my back on survival and do this act!” Grace wakes up on the Hail Mary, and has no context for why he’s on the ship but assumes that he was a Heroic Volunteer, like Yao and Ilyukhina. He sees their personal effects and Reasons Why They Volunteered, and keeps searching for his own Reason Why until he remembers that he didn’t HAVE a “reason why.” He was never a heroic volunteer. He comes to terms with the fact that he’s going to die, and IS. IN FACT. AS STRATT PREDICTED. A GOOD ENOUGH man to want to save the earth anyway rather than die alone without even trying to figure out the Petrova Problem out of spite. And he can do some pretty neat science along the way, which has always been one of his life motivations! At least he can do that before he dies, in the absence of anything else!
But the thing that Grace ACTUALLY loves enough to die for is ROCKY. The one in a million friend! Who saved his life and opened up his entire view of the universe! Grace’s core trait was NEVER “loving the Earth,” or “loving life.” The WHOLE FUCKING EARTH wasn’t enough to get Grace willingly onboard the Hail Mary! What made him turn the ship around was his GOTDAM SINGING ROCK FRIEND. The whole point is the change! Humanity’s capacity for massive apathetic cowardice and also astonishing bravery and hopefulness in connection. Andy Weir has his head in his ass about politics in his work, but you see?!?! You see, right!?!?!?!
And hey. If you really want protagonists who loved the Earth and life? Yao. Ilyukhina. Dubois. The original crew of Project Hail Mary. THEY loved the Earth. THEIR sacrifice was tragic in the specific narrow way that the “Grace loved life” posts want Grace’s to be. Dubois, who started a relationship with Annie even though he knew one or both of them was sure to die because why waste any time? Why not enjoy what they had in this moment? Ilyukhina, who had the absolute darkest sense of humor and packed a giant bag of vodka, who asked to go out via the most pleasurable cocktail of drugs imaginable bc why not enjoy herself after living such a straight edged life? Yao, who volunteered to go last after both Dubois and Ilyukhina were gone, just so he could make sure they didn’t suffer, who carried a picture of his family and never lost courage. THEY were the ones full of love for Earth and life, while the whole point of Grace is that he never really was, and he found it in space when he’d already left Earth behind.
This can't be fucking real oh my god.
I remember when I was younger, anytime I watched a movie where the characters have to kill a scary monster/alien, I always thought the act of killing it was intended to be part of the horror. Like there’s this amazing creature that we’ve never seen before, and maybe under different circumstances we could’ve coexisted with it, but it’s trying to attack you and you have to defend yourself, but by destroying it you also destroy the ability to ever understand it and that’s sad and is supposed to make you feel conflicted.
It was not until well into my adulthood that I realized most people do not have complicated feelings about movies where people have to kill a scary alien monster, nor is that necessarily meant to be part of the narrative (unless it very obviously is). They just want the scary thing to die because it’s scary. I don’t have a real conclusion to this I just started thinking about it for some reason.
vincent price calling christopher lee a bitch asmr
great work everybody
THE BIRDCAGE — 1996, dir. Mike Nichols
I’m a big fan of reenactment archaeology. I think there’s a lot to be said for recreating a scenario to better understand decisions made in generations past. Usually there’s an inherent logic to them.
Which is to say, that now that I have a baby of my own, I understand so much better the common cultural practice in which unmarried women wear their hair loose and uncovered, while married women have their hair covered and/or bound back.
I doubt it was just for modesty, oh no. No, my friends, I see now that the reason for this common practice of mothers binding back their hair is because there is nothing, I mean nothing, a baby love more than YANKING EVERY STRAND OF HAIR THAT COMES WITHIN GRABBING DISTANCE OF THEIR STICKY, SWEATY, AND IMPOSSIBLY STRONG LITTLE HANDS.
#Babies have one goal#And that goal is rip something off your face#Glasses#Hair#Earrings#A necklace if they can't find anything better#Your ears#Nose#Lips#They want it for their own - @fuck-handed-fish
sorry still reallyyy fucking pissed off that me and my dad couldnt park in a disabled spot bc all 4 were taken up by a county sheriff car. i left a note like hey jackass dont park across FOUR disabled spots at once. went to go do our shit. came back out n the cops like surprised us around the corner n started trying to intimidate and threaten us with a LITTERING CHARGE for leaving a note. so i took the note n threw it in the trash n said im sooooo sowwy :(( n then they just kept lying n like showing their entire assholes by showin not a single damn person in their entire office knows the first thing about the ADA and think it doesnt apply to parking spaces in front of businesses. n i was like ohhh okay so its okay for you to break the law if youre in a hurry. n theyre like it was an important larceny we were responding to. lol
so important that they had time to repark the illegally parked car, search for the dashcam footage of me leaving the note, and sit around the store entrance with their dicks in their hands while they waited for a chance to direct their waste of life towards a 62 yr old disabled man with a cane!!! but fuck him i guess you had to get to the bottom of the missing candy bar
also when we walked away this ugly shrimp dicked pussy ass little fucker called after and said umm its literally fine cuz i parked in the middle lane thing n i shouted back THAT EXTRA LANE IS HOW DISABLED PEOPLE GET OUT OF THEIR CARS
"when i was your age, netflix came to our house in the mail" never gets old. they don't believe you, because they can't, because they cannot conceive the apparatus by which this would be true. but it is true. they mailed me season 1 of the sopranos with stamps. with fucking stamps man
Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars
neovaginas can get wet naturally
a neophallus can get erect with an implant (this will either be a bendable rod or a device that inflates with saline at the press of a button, usually in the testicles)
both can feel sexual pleasure and experience orgasm
most neovaginas will be able to tolerate larger insertions with enough dilating/training
the nerves in neophalluses take a while to regrow but it is incredibly rare to experience no sexual nerve growth
both can look and feel "normal" if that's what you want, just take good care of your scars and look at your surgeons' results portfolio (and don't be afraid to be picky! its your genitals, you get to decide!)
in fact it's possible for many people to stealth and for their sexual partners to never know. even for phallo, some people with natal penises have erectile implants too, ED is common. neocaginas are often indistinguishable from natal vaginas
many surgeons are starting to offer preservation options for patients who want a more mixed look/don't want to lose what they have
YOU HAVE OPTIONS! demystify bottom surgery
they killed him for this
From Veronica Tucker via Pinterest
pride month!!!
Is that a miette?
Pride for you! Pride for a thousand years!!
you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!
you are 16. you are talking with a gay man in his 50s or 60s, a friend, huge and gentle with a scarf and short fluffy curls of gray hair, who has directed you in two plays staged in your mid-size artsy town. (he has not yet asked you to be in his production of The Laramie Project which will change your life. this conversation will also change your life.)
he is talking about theatre. he is talking about theatre when he was younger. he says, "of course, it was AIDS then." in the pause, you ask him. clumsy and quiet and 16 and "straight," you ask him. what was it like.
he takes a moment in which his face is not like a person's face. "there was a time," he says, "i'm not sure how long, years. when i went to a funeral every weekend." he tells you about two funerals in a day, and choosing between friends when you couldn't make it to both. he does not look at you, he looks at them. his wet grey gaze is so clear that you start to see ghosts. it will be years before you understand why it feels like your grief too. why the ghosts call you family.
happy pride, family. i love every single one of you
when i wrote this post, i didn't expect very many people to read it. i figured it wasn't the kind of thing people liked to read and reblog, but it was late at night, and i was remembering this person, and i was crying, and i had to write it out. so i did.
to this day no other post gets sent to me so often by friends who have encountered it as a repost on some other site. the idea that more than one hundred thousand people have read these words, and know this story now, and maybe feel as i did, is tremendously humbling and unbearably beautiful to me. even by accident, even just passing on a story that is not my own, i often think that it is the best thing i have ever done.
happy pride, family.