{SarcasmDrips}

Things.

[gaynehollander]

A few years into Shane playing for Ottawa, one of the younger Centaurs, maybe Holmberg, comes to him with a problem. He has been sleeping with this girl for a while now and he's so into her but she travels for work and he knows she has a couple of regular hookups all over the place. So, since Shane - judging by Cap's reputation - has been in a similar position, he asks him how he convinced Roz to be exclusive.

Shane stares at him, uncomprehendingly, for a second before slowly replying, "...I didn't."

Holmberg gives him a deeply skeptical look. "I've seen the way you react when people flirt with Roz in front of you," he says, "there's no way you guys have an open relationship."

"No," Shane clarifies immediately. He would rather set himself on fire than have to live with sharing his husband with another person. "No, we're exclusive," he confirms, "but I never asked him to stop sleeping with other people. He just kind of... stopped. I didn't even find out until a few months after it happened so, I don't know, maybe just wait it out?"

Eventually, the Centaurs learn that, although Cap and Hollzy have clearly found in each other what most people spend their lives searching for, they are the absolute worst people to ask for any type of relationship advice.

[byjove]

pride month is almost over I would just like to say happy pride to boring LGBTQ people in particular. everyone expects us to be brilliant creatives and scientists and interior decorators and quirky professors and tortured artists but some of us wear nothing but Kirkland Signature clothing and watch Friends and The Office and are incapable of having an interesting conversation and that is okay. our diversity is our strength.

[byjove]

talking to a very boring LGBTQ person once in a while is so refreshing, you’re like “Whoa! You’re so average and normal! You’re like a coworker at an office job! The only thing we have in common is our LGBTQ identity and that is beautiful!”

[byjove]

“They tell us we’re born to suffer but you were obviously born to maintain the lawn outside of your suburban home. Very sweet.”

[junewild]

incredible innovations on the beverage front

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

Cnetizens: Why the thousand-year-old stone statues at the Northern Song Mausoleums aren’t covered with glass enclosures.

The director of the Cultural Relics Bureau replies: "They’ve stood here largely intact for over a millennium. Why add extra barriers?"

Visitors worry wind, rain and sunlight in the farmland will wear them down. The director explains:

Glass covers speed up decay—it’s like locking the statues in a sauna. Trapped heat and moisture create sharp temperature shifts. Salt crystals inside the stone expand and crack the carvings far faster than open-air exposure.

These statues blend naturally with the farmland landscape. Glass barriers would destroy the sense of scale and historical atmosphere.

When first built, the mausoleum complex was a restricted royal compound ringed by walls, palaces and pine trees—no farmland at all. After the Song fell, protection systems collapsed. Wars and weather destroyed buildings. Local residents gradually dismantled the abandoned structures, reusing timber and bricks in nearby villages.

By the Ming and Qing dynasties, villagers turned the empty grounds into farmland, leaving stone figures scattered amid crops.

Few people damaged the statues for three reasons: each weighs several tons and is impossible to move; folk belief held that anyone who damaged the guardian statues would be cursed with misfortune; every later dynasty passed laws punishing those who vandalized former imperial mausoleums.

Once an exclusive imperial burial ground, now ordinary farmland—this shift tells the story of history. Glass covers would only be unnecessary. As an old Chinese poem puts it: 旧时王谢堂前燕，飞入寻常百姓家

The swallows that were wont to grace the halls of Wang and Xie, Now seek the humble roofs of common men.

(cr 大鹅呀eyaeyaeya，陈帆fotochen，摄色📸，腾腾兔兔🐰)

[shanesloverboy]

Wyatt Hayes noticing that notorious ladies man Ilya Rozanov added a fancy ring to his necklace:

[what-even-is-thiss]

Kids sitcom about a group of friends where all of them are a part of secret magical or superhero based underground society that don’t know about each other and they all think that the others are ignorant normies that they have to protect from their magical shenanigans.

[what-even-is-thiss]

The witch kid, the superhero sidekick, the cryptid hunter, and the half fairy kid are all unknowingly trying to hide the same talking cat from the principal of their school and the talking cat doesn’t tell any of them about each other because it’s currently getting many extra helpings of treats in exchange for its silence.

[what-even-is-thiss]

During the episode where they all find out about each other’s secret lives there’s obviously a slow look over to the cat who’s like “well you never asked. Anyways, completely unrelated but I’ve gotta go.”

[sistersorrow]

As more seasons pass, it's eventually revealed the rich kid who bullies the main cast is secretly child of some dark lord all the societies fear and eventually the bully works with the main cast to defeat them in the series finale or movie

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah I’m down for some 8th graders taking down the devil that’s good tv

[anarchopuppy]

I, a hearing person who likes subtitles just as a preference, shouldn't have to read a subtitle that's obvious nonsense, go back a couple seconds, and listen again in order to figure out what's going on. An accessibility feature should not be the most half-assed part of a professionally made production. Scripted media has absolutely no excuse for not having subtitles or having subtitles that aren't perfectly verbatim. Professional captioning services should be ashamed of the shoddy work that they put out. Captions should be treated as a part of the production, just like filming, editing, audio balancing, etc - and anything that releases with missing or bad captions should be seen as unfinished

[hollanova]

heated rivalry text posts part 10/?

[perotovar]

HUDSON WILLIAMS as TJ All I Need for Christmas (2024) dir. David I. Strasser

[duckduckhonk]

smitten

[lavenderprose]

My absolute gospel truth and I'm sorry this is so sappy but--where I'm living, Ilya fully changes his name to Hollander when they get married, like just fully legally changes it. And despite the fact that he continues to use Rozanov professionally ("Just like J. Lo," Ilya says.) everyone who knows them personally obviously knows what Ilya's legal name is and also assume it's a way to kind of stick it to his shitheel father. To this end, and kind of as a joke at first, people start referring to their two-person unit as The Hollanders ("Okay, the Hollanders are in room 508" etc.) but it becomes steadily less and less a joke when neither Shane or Ilya really seems to think of it as one. Ilya especially seems to genuinely love it. He'll say shit like "Oh yes the Hollanders will be there" when asked if they're coming to a barbecue like they live in a postcard. He LOVES to give his name as Ilya Hollander and he LOVES to book reservations under 'Misters Hollander' and he LOVES to say the words 'Shane and Ilya Hollander' out loud with his mouth. I also think that for their last game together in the league Ilya and Shane wear jerseys that say S. Hollander 24 and I. Hollander 81 and it's like. An end of an era type thing. And they frame the jerseys.

[penandinkprincess]

i know in my heart that shane is the most obnoxious sick person of all time

not because he's a baby a la classic man cold

but because he will AGGRESSIVELY try to pretend he is not sick

he is trying to gaslight others but ALSO himself

he has a gold medal immune system thank you he did NOT get taken down by ill pikeling spreading Elementary School Plague to him

not happening

as an itty bitty he lied so he wouldn't have to skip hockey, and that has NOT changed as an adult

his true toxic trait is that he WILL be typhoid mary in that locker room if it means he doesn't have to stay home and miss playing

the majority of the struggle when shane is sick is just making him ADMIT he is sick

[burritosong]

Tags via @penandinkprincess

[penandinkprincess]

also CACKLING about the way this looks on the outside.

like. no one else on the team understands Hollander Illness Behavior yet, so they're teasing ilya about being overprotective because shane is SO underplaying it and meanwhile ilya is just, "no, i am so fucking serious. get a medic and then call an ambulance."

and shane who is barely on this realm of existence and about 0.2 seconds from having Involuntary Floor Time is just, "don't worry :) i'll just take an advil or something :)"

WHICH IS NOT HELPING EVERYONE ELSE UNDERSTAND THE MOTHERFUCKING GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION, SHANE, NO MORE CONTRIBUTIONS AT THIS TIME FROM YOU, THANK YOU

[orchisailsa]

My fandom hot take that should actually be tepid is that I don't think Mr. Jean-Jacques "J.J." Boiziau deserves the hate he gets.

Don't get me wrong, he did not react well to The Whole Thing. I'm not absolving him of ANYTHING there. But deciding that he's irredeemable, deciding he's a bad person, deciding that he's as bad as every other MTL player (save Hayden) is incredibly reductive and, honestly, I hate to say it, but it's pretty fucking immature.

Because in the real world people fuck up. In the real world, people react poorly in highly emotional situations. And it is pretty fucking important, actually if a loved one has had a bad/negative reaction, has done and said hurtful things, but then COMES BACK AND TRIES TO FIX IT, after he has had time to examine why he reacted that way. That is fucking huge. It's huge and it's RARE, and it's so, so good.

J.J. showing up on Shane's doorstep to talk it out is so fucking brave. Shane letting him in (physically and emotionally) and allowing him the opportunity to talk it out is ALSO so fucking brave. And it is truly beautiful and valuable and GOOD that the ten year friendship they have is important enough -- on both sides-- for them to do the hard work to mend it.

Repairing something that has been broken is an important aspect of any long term relationship. It's important for J.J. to see why he was wrong, and for him to be the one to reach out . It's ALSO important for Shane to understand how his secrecy (no matter how well-justified it is) and hiding and lying has impacted ALL of his personal relationships, because a huge theme of the book is that Hollanov don't exist in a vacuum, and cannot live in a vacuum!!!!!

Anyway. I just think the villainous, toxic narrative that some (unfortunately loud) parts of the fandom use to frame J.J. completely erases a part of Shane's healing journey in a way I find to be breathtakingly sad. Yeah.

[moetxt]

i tried making a contrapuntal poem for hollanov, which can be read 3 ways: shane’s side alone, ilya’s side alone, or both sides together. inspired by the long game.

[misspiggyilya]

I am absolutely fucking screaming

[imhungup]

this is how gays burp

[balcklion]

A circulating video of sisters who bought the same clothes for their husbands 😂❤️

[g1sunstreaker]

this gag NEVER fails to make me laugh. watching them all file in one by one and collectively laugh harder every time the next guy walks in...i could watch videos of this practical joke all day

[shaneposting]

shane is literally a Boyfriend guys he’s stocking the cottage full of stuff he’d never eat bc they’re ilya’s favourite snacks and he’s driving his passenger princess around and carrying ilya’s bags and asking what he wants for dinner and waking him up in the middle of the night to be like ‘hey here’s how we can be together forever until we are old and wrinkly. do u agree yes or yes’

and even before that he’s constantly checking if his baby is okay and he’s sitting in that stairwell cuddling ilya’s jacket and he’s so desperate to hold ilya’s hand when he’s off his head on painkillers. he’s rereading old texts. he’s got his phone in his hand and he’s texting ilya when he’s literally just got off the ice after winning the cup again and that’s years before they’re even together. he’s inviting ilya to the cottage because he gets two weeks off a year and he wants to spend them both with his favourite person

he’s a loverboy! he’s spent so so long wanting to be able to connect with ilya like this and now he finally can! he was born to play hockey but also to be ilya’s boyfriend!