trying to tame my screen addiction so deleting tumblr off my phone for a while 😔
styofa doing anything

Kiana Khansmith

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

JVL
dirt enthusiast
art blog(derogatory)

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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Discoholic 🪩
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Three Goblin Art
todays bird
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Andulka
NASA
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Claire Keane
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@sawsession
trying to tame my screen addiction so deleting tumblr off my phone for a while 😔
severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person
i love being prevd its like getting a good grade in thoughts
amanda fanart from like two years ago… still very proud of it and i posted it on twt already so hereeeew
There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function
this gold shouldn't stay in the comments
hey loves, I’ve been reading through the comments and loads of people are asking how to not fall into this pattern because that’s all they know. so, here’s some advice from Auntie Pan who’s been in the trenches (stress-caused disabilities and chronic illnesses).
context: grew up in an abusive, controlling home, escaped to uni, had a prolonged mental breakdown, became a teacher and worked in a dysfunctional school with amazing kids and nightmare management for years. I did not realise I have adhd and autism for a long time. (You might even be able to scroll back through this blog to find the time around which I did realise lol.)
ANYWAY, things that have helped me because my body can no longer handle any kind of stress without flaring up:
If you’re doing anything that requires you to do a lot of prep before you begin the actual thing (e.g. cooking, deep cleaning a room, moving house), mise en place. That’s a fancy french way of saying get everything ready before you begin. So if I’m cooking idk spaghetti carbonara, that means fry and chop the bacon, separate the egg yolks from the whites, put water in the kettle, put dry spaghetti into a pan. Once everything’s ready, it reduces the mental load and means I can focus on the actual cooking and any clean up that I can do along the way. H/t to @ms-demeanor for this, you changed my life!
the Might As Well rule. This one works really well for me but you gotta be careful otherwise you’ll get sucked into the Vortex. Basically, let’s imagine you’re in the bathroom, brushing your teeth. You notice that the extra roll of toilet paper has been used. instead of thinking, “I’ll get to that later”, and then forgetting about it until you sit down on the bog (no judgement, we’ve all been there), you think “Might As Well put an extra roll while I’m here!” This tends to help with the little tasks that build up over time. This Does Not Work for big tasks.
Leading on from no.2, Do It Immediately/ASAP really helps me too. My current boss will email me on a Friday and say, ‘don’t reply to this now! Leave it til monday!’ But she and i both know that if i leave it til monday, I will forget and get stressed and this will make me Very Ill. So, instead, the moment i receive the email, I’ll either schedule in replying to it as soon as I’m done with my current thing, OR I’ll reply to it immediately.
Anything that can’t be actioned immediately, i mark as Unread. Anything Unread in my inbox is a future action, and i check those Unread emails/texts/whatevers Every. Day. To make sure whether today is the day i have the info to action it. (This also means i have to stay on top of my inbox. I read all my emails and then mark them accordingly. I’m also brutal with unsubscribing)
The House Always Wins. Both in a literal sense, because i am in a constant battle with keeping my house clean, and i know now that I’ll never get it as clean as i want it. It’s impossible, i no longer have the energy or stamina to vacuum and scrub everything. But also just in a life sense. I’m never going to achieve things to perfection, and perfect is the opposite of done. And getting things done is that much more important when you have limited energy and strength. Accept that you often have to half-arse life in order to Full-Arse the few things that really matter to you.
Have multiples of everything, everywhere. I wear support gloves, so i need to have handcream at every sink and everywhere i sit down in the house. I try to keep it unobtrusive, but it means i don’t have to trek upstairs just to moisturise my hands. Gum, phone chargers, pens and pencils, water bottles, hand sanitizer, whatever you need.
Work with people, even if it’s online. Body doubling actually works. Also I’ve found that if I’m working on assignments, taking myself to a library or study area that isn’t my bedroom helps so much.
Show off! Tell people on here or elsewhere in your life about the fact that you’ve just written 100 words! Or that you’ve cleaned the fridge and that’s a really big deal for you. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
Basically, you’re aiming to reduce the mental load as much as possible. Wear the same types of clothes all the time to minimise the amount of laundry. Eat the same three lunches so decision fatigue doesn’t take over.
All of this takes time to implement and it is cumulative, but i hope it helps. Reading the comments on this post, i finally understand why adhd is comorbid with so many other conditions. let’s take care of each other <3
I'm so glad to hear that helped you!
For anybody looking for resources from someone dealing with actual ADHD, I have an incomplete but ever growing list of ADHD tips, tools, and suggestions on my website.
A lot of the pages on that site are adapted from my tumblr posts, for instance I'm adapting this post about car repair projects with ADHD into a guide on project management and completion with ADHD.
(Red links are stuff that I've got planned but haven't published for reasons that are probably clear to anyone looking for ADHD advice online)
Okay so this is what I mean when I tell people, "Only take advice on dealing with ADHD from other people with ADHD." (Or other neurodivergencies with overlapping symptoms, like autism and brain injuries.)
This is all good, actionable advice. I won't be able to do all it every day, but even the person giving the advice acknowledges that.
Meanwhile, advice from people who don't have ADHD nearly always can be summed up "But have you tried just not having ADHD?" It's all "set timers, make lists, break things down, keep a planner" advice we've heard a thousand times, that doesn't work (or at least doesn't work when explained that way) and will just make you feel worse about yourself.
Also, sometimes doing something right away is a panic/anxiety response and will not be your best work. If it's not urgent and you can schedule it, do so. I fill out my calendar with tasks in little chunks all day long so that I don't forget about the task but I also can dedicated the appropriate level of attention to it at the right time.
Wanted to add the biggest ADHD life hack I discovered for this: Doing Things In Context
I am abysmal at making phone calls and doing life admin stuff at home(paperwork, emails, ect.) and after years of struggling I thought about it and remembered that I was actually always really good at getting my homework done...as long as I did it at school. I would stay an extra hour and hang out in the library and all my homework was super easy and barely took any time to finish.
If I went home, however, it was like my brain forgot school even existed, and no matter how hard I tried I could not get myself to do my homework at home, and sadly I am not the kind of ADHD where the deadline kicking in makes things happen, I just have to admit I couldn't finish and ask for more time. Again. And again. And again....
So I thought...okay, the issue here doesn't appear to be interest or attention so much as context. I can do school things at school, and home things at home(...for the most part, this is still hard bcs home has relaxation as an attached context and you can't really get around that, tho I've found for cleaning I can only do it with music playing so that's the context to tap into), but I cannot do school things at home or home things at school—not that the latter was really a factor ever, not many home tasks can be or need be done at school.
So, context. I decided one day when I had a ton of life admin stuff to do, that instead of sitting at my desk smashing my head into the wall trying to figure out why I can't even call one doctor's office, why don't I just go rent a study room at the library. It's free. They're sound proof more or less, and you know what? I got it all done in like and hour and then as a treat played Pokémon Go and read a manga for a while before going home. I'd been trying to do all that stuff for weeks to no avail, but putting the tasks in a different context, in a building where you go to do things like homework and paperwork, suddenly made the executive function like...function. I don't know the real logic behind it, and it isn't possible to do this all the time, especially since I'm broke and disabled and live in a dinky apartment and have can't go outside alone safely disorder, but having spaces that have a context attached and moving to them for tasks that fit that context can help a lot.
It works for other things too, I can do my physical therapy just fine at the gym...but not at home. Home doesn't have the workout context attached. Still trying to figure this one out, but it can help to just try to shift the space around you to fix the context better, like playing music being for cleaning or changing into workout clothes. It's like creating the structure you used to have to guide you yourself, I guess. ADHD brains seem to like it when a place is for a specific task.
the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.
btw this is maybe the single most key distinguishing feature of the terfy strains of radical feminism, the seed all the rest of it springs out of: they have absolutely no faith in the ability of feminism to actually destroy patriarchy. they do not think feminism can truly build a better world. they cannot really even imagine that possibility. they think patriarchy is an inevitable natural consequence of unchangeable biological facts, and therefore the goal of feminism can only be to mitigate the worst effects of patriarchy, not to get rid of it.
they can imagine a society where women get some designated safe spaces without men around. they cannot imagine a society where the presence of men is not inherently a danger to women.
“Frances and I were considering attending a Lesbian/Feminist conference this summer, when we were notified that no boys over ten were allowed. This presented logistic as well as philosophical problems for us, and we sent the following letter: Sisters: Ten years as an interracial lesbian couple has taught us both the dangers of an oversimplified approach to the nature and solutions of any oppression, as well as the danger inherent in an incomplete vision. Our thirteen-year-old son represents as much hope for our future world as does our fifteen-year-old daughter, and we are not willing to abandon him to the killing streets of New York City while we journey west to help form a Lesbian-Feminist vision of the future world in which we can all survive and flourish.”
— Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider: “Man Child: A Black Lesbian Feminist’s Response." (This essay in particular was apparently first published in 19-fucking-79, which is how long this conversation's been going on.)
awh hey thank u dad
on the porch of my tiny and whimsical toadstool house lighting up a berry and taking a long drag from it, exhaling a puff of rainbow smoke afterwards
the mythbusters once tested "herding cats" and at one point they brought in a proper trained herding dog and the poor dogs face when the first cat responds to his herding with swipes and aggression is to look at her human and go 😰 the sheep is broken?? what do i do boss??
I have you blocked because I don't like your blog at all but I hope you're doing well. ok blocking you again adieu
Hello???
Anon bb come back i can change for you
Most annoying online emotion is "I have a funny personal anacdote to add to this but it doxxes like all of my personal information"
you have permission to pick that 2 year old "abandoned" project back up. it's not mad at you for setting it aside. and maybe time and distance have helped ease or erase the things that made you put it down in the first place.
Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien
[publishing research thesis] lol is this anything
the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad