i think maybe you like it

james | she/they | 26 | following from @ancientrimer

[shanebug]

remember to provide your pet hockey players with plenty of enrichment!

[ticklefighthockey]

I still think it’s so funny that shane was assigned gay by rose landry and his reaction was WHEW! thank god someone else decided that for me. anyway I’m off to get my man I can sense that he’s making bad decisions in a club somewhere

[ticklefighthockey]

rose: do you want me to set you up with my gay friend?

shane distractedly: what? no I’m obviously already embroiled in a years-long situationship with a disaster bisexual who is physically incapable of expressing a feeling out loud. and I’m positive he’s off being a nightmare somewhere so now that I’m gay for sure I need to track him down and greet him with such awkward but well-meaning compassion he ends up sobbing in my arms

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

Share a vision with me: Hollanov in bed. It's dark out. The bedside lamp is on, glowing. Ilya is lying on his stomach, head resting on his folded arms, naked from the waist up. Shane is sat against the headboard, glasses on, ostensibly reading his book but really he's softly tracing the moles on Ilya's back. Ilya gets so relaxed and drowsy at the goosebump-raising sensation of Shane's dragging fingertips that he falls asleep. Shane doesn't stop his gentle caresses, just stares at Ilya's face. They're both lethargic with love, basking in it.

[grabmyboner]

when ilya is like 55 he will have his phone font on the largest size possible with his screen brightness all the way up and he will be texting shane SHOW ME UR HOLE while he is in the line at the supermarket and it will traumatise nosy teenagers in line behind him

[grabmyboner]

what’s the point at which shane forces ilya to get glasses do you think . im pitching the manager at wholefoods near their house politely lets shane know when he comes to get some kale that the local teens call ilya the hole guy

[providing-leverage]

Need a reaction to the Jane/Lily aliases where the person (Hayden probably) is like "wow that's not great, I'm shocked you got away with it for so long, who came up with that?"

Shane: we were 19, give us a break

Hayden: 19????

Shane, ignoring him: 🥰 Ilya was so smart coming up with code names 🥰 he wanted to see me again so bad 🥰

[cuppydogshane]

CHALANT AS FUCK. ILYA HE CAN SEE YOU MAKING THAT FACE

[jimmysownworld]

i love the “hollanov has a crush on carter vaughn” take not necessarily in a “i think they would invite him to watch” way but more in a “ilya would accidentally let it slip while chirping at shane to fluster him that vaughn is at the top of their ‘would’ list and vaughn is a little thrown off and straight so he’s like “are you guys asking?” and ilya laughs and pats his shoulder and assures him “absolutely not, i do not share my shane, we just think you are good looking man, i like that you are pretty and fun and my shane likes that you are serious about hockey and have good grooming habits. is not serious, do not worry vaughny we will not be asking you to witness me and my beautiful husband ever” and vaughn low key is overjoyed about it, his teammates who are around and hear the exchange are sometimes like “that doesnt bother you? you dont find that a bit weird?” but vaugh genuinely is just like “rozanov just called me pretty and fun enough to hang out with and hollander thinks im good at hockey and clean enough for him, you could hand me a nobel peace prize and it wouldnt come close to this achievement” and eventually it gets out to the general public so vaughn is captioning his instagram posts shit like “#1 contender for being the hockey husbands third goes fishing” despite shanes mortification about this getting out and vaughns clear delight with it” way

[russianblush]

well yes i do think ilya has impeccable and near perfect penmanship in both english and russian while shane’s handwriting is literally chicken scratch but ilya is fluent in shanes scribbles of course

[shieldofiron]

Sing it with me!!!

[gayhockeyshow]

“You feel it too, don’t you?” Shane is the bravest boy in the world

[lavenderprose]

Ilya is so lucky that Shane proposed. Ilya would have been a nervous fucking wreck for the entire day beforehand. Wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror. Today's the day. Sob. Breathe. Okay I'm good! Turn around and Shane's hair is all in his face, still asleep on Ilya's pillow. I am NOT good. Cold shower. Breakfast that Ilya does not eat. Morning jog wherein Ilya runs like someone is chasing him. Lunch that Ilya does not eat. Drive out to the cottage. Make Shane pull over because Ilya needs to dry heave on the side of the road. "Baby we don't have to drive out today if you're not feeling well." "NO WE HAVE TO." Get to the cottage. Immediately send Shane on some kind of extended fool's errand. Shane wants to stay because Ilya is SHAKING and he is so worried. "No my love I'm fine it's just the breeze off the lake haha." It's thirty fuckig degrees Celsius. Shane finally gtfo's. Yuna, David, Rose FUCKING Landry all descend to help Ilya set up. Well. Ilya is supposed to be helping but he is standing on the deck fully dissociating. Yuna brings him tea. "Are you going to throw up the tea?" "Yes probably." Yuna takes away the tea. 800 electronic tea lights on the deck. In a parallel Ilya has no way of understanding, he both puts on and takes off a suit. Yuna fixes his curls into the hockey boy quasi-mullet that magnetizes Shane's fingers to Ilya's hair and says, "Oh, you're so handsome!" Ilya cries big fat tears. David tells a story about how his proposal to Yuna almost didn't happen because David went to the hospital for heart palpitations that morning. Thank You David That Does Not Help Even Remotely. Ilya slav squats on the lawn for twenty minutes. Shane's car pulls up in the driveway and everyone hides while Ilya vibrates in the entryway. Shane has no less than thirty grocery bags hanging from his arms, still complaining about why the grocery service cancelled their delivery last minute. Ilya leads Shane and all thirty of his grocery bags onto the deck. Shane is doing his favorite thing (bitching) and his second favorite thing (Follow Ilya) so he doesn't notice his own mother tiptoing behind him collecting the grocery bags he drops like breadcrumbs. There is an Oscar-winning actress hiding under his sofa and Shane does not notice because Ilya takes him on the deck and drops to his knees and Shane is like, "Haha, right now?" and then he sees that Ilya has a look on his face like he's just been told the sun is never coming up again and he has his hands on Shane's knees and he is saying, "Shane. Please?" and Shane puts his hands on his head and says "Oh my God baby what's happening to you" as Ilya melts and melts and then from the depths of the cottage someone who sounds a lot like Shane's very own father is whispering "The ring the ring" and when he looks back down Ilya is fumbling a ring box out of his pocket. The first picture of their proposal is Shane glaring into the middle distance with a hand cradling Ilya's curls like a baby while Ilya ugly sobs into his knee.

[shillanov]

[shanes his eyes] who’s gonna stick a cock in my mouth….,. [shanes his eyes some more] who’s gonna do it

[shanesbeautifulmind]

imagine if during ilya’s boyfriend audition he threw shane his rick owens to wear and shane just stood there like 🧍‍♂️ what the fuck are these

do you have anything normal for me to wear or

[spicyvampire]

[manzini]

ilya finds out cliff fans online are calling themselves cliffnation and he never lets it go. he is telling people he has dual citizenship: russia and cliffnation. he actually can’t get a speeding ticket because he has diplomatic immunity as an ambassador of cliffnation. all i do is win is the national anthem. the capital is marleauville.

[darlingofdots]

I really need people to realise that Ilya is functionally fluent in English even that first time in Regina. "You will not be so nice when we beat you" is a complex sentence construction! It's got a future tense and a conditional clause in it! He keeps making a couple of common-for-Russians grammar mistakes (mostly dropping words to reflect Russian sentence structure) and he has gaps in his vocabulary and listening comprehension is famously difficult, but his English is so fucking good. And you can just copy the way he talks in the show or the books! It's very consistent! Russian is way more complex than English and he definitely got some formal instruction before he went to Boston! I don't understand why he ends up talking like he's never heard of auxiliary verbs or pronoun declension before in fic when canon is so clear about his language skills

[creamsiclemelt]

i feel actually dizzy

[creamsiclemelt]

like. oh, okay. i see.